July 12, 2022

What to Remember when Something in Life feels Hard.


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We all have our “lessons” in life, the areas where we struggle, the parts that feel “less easy.”

It can be work or family or romantic relationships. It could be friendships or self-confidence or patience. It could be with children or our homes or cars or technology. It could be with money or networking or education.

It could feel like we are afraid of just about everything, or even just massively afraid about certain things. We could have all sorts of insecurities. We could be stubborn or slow to change. We could lack discipline or motivation. We could struggle with our mental or physical health or with just being present.

What I’ve learned is that we all have these areas where we struggle.

My struggles might not be yours, and yours might not be mine—but we all have our less easy areas, the places that feel less comfortable, the spaces where we more easily hurt or feel frustration.

Often, our own struggles can feel so big and so personal that we feel like we’re the only ones who feel this—that we are the only ones who have ever felt how we feel.

But we’re not.

Likely, millions of other people are struggling with the same kinds of things that we are, right now.

We are not alone in this.

We all have our “lessons.”

And whatever our lessons are, they can be uncomfortable. They can feel painful. And we may wish that we didn’t have to deal with them.

But we do.

As we move through and learn our lessons, it helps to turn inward. Center. Ground. Reconnect from within. Always make an effort to tune in, to come back to ourselves. To try our hardest to be the best versions of ourselves that we can be. And to show tenderness toward ourselves when we “fail,” when we slip back into patterns that don’t serve us.

It also helps to accept that we have struggles—accept that we have the struggles that we have.

We may not like it, and we may wish we didn’t have to deal with what we do, but we do. We are learning. All of us are learning something. And for the parts that don’t feel good—they don’t feel good for any of us (even if our “problem areas” differ from one another).

It can be frustrating, but also, it is what it is.

But, if we can find some acceptance and have genuine interest and curiosity to learn, to become aware, to become more grounded from within ourselves, we can begin to unravel from the habits, patterns, and tendencies that don’t serve us.

We can begin to see what we’ve not yet seen.

We can allow space to open so awareness can flow through us.

We can start to see more, feel more, understand more.

As we gain awareness, we can be more conscious and intentional in our choices, in our decisions, in our actions and reactions. We can begin to observe the emotional pull, the thoughts that move through us, and instead of just following the same old patterns, we can begin to shift. To change. To get curious and interested. We can begin to observe—what’s happening within and around us. We can see how we contribute to the parts that aren’t working. And even if we get pulled in, even if it takes time to shift and change, even if we don’t know what we’re doing and can’t seem to figure it out, we can remain steadfast as we move through the process.

It takes tenderness and self-honestly—both a willingness to be brutally honest with what we learn and a warm, compassionate holding of space for ourselves as we continue to move through what we’re moving through.

We don’t know what we don’t know. We can’t see what we can’t see. We can only do the best from where we are, right now, in this moment.

It might not feel like enough, but it is; it’s all we can do—the best that we can.

We can only ever do the best that we can.

And the most important thing, always, is to tune into ourselves and move with what feels right for us.


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