September 12, 2022

F*ck Spirituality! I’m Here as this Beautifully Imperfect Being.

F*ck spirituality! I’m here as this beautiful, imperfect being.

I’ve had all the spiritual awakenings. Orgasmic and mind-blowing. They had nothing to do with a mind-altering substance. They were all natural awakenings.

You hear “spiritual teachers” and you think it is a destination. You work to be as spiritual as you can, then you are entrenched in the language, the awakening, the events, the groups that follow “enlightened spiritual teachers,” and you do all the rituals, the meditations, the readings, chanting, and so on. I’ve done just about all of them. They feel good, yes. I still do them. They just do not get me to a destination.

It’s never been “spiritual” to me. Sure, I used the word; that’s what you do, right? Use the lingo. Show how evolved you are. How present you are. Presence isn’t about showing anything. It’s the opposite of showing. It’s being.

I’ve had the awakenings that all the gurus have spoken of. Hell, yes, they were amazing, incredible, and orgasmic. Beyond words.

They don’t stay. That’s because they aren’t supposed to. It’s a practice to continue on with the state of awakening. It comes and goes like it is meant to. It’s not a journey as in there is a reachable place where it never happens again. It ebbs and flows.

We are humans who are here for a human experience. We are not here for an out-of-human experience. We are here to experience the being that we are. That’s it. Nothing grand about it.

All of our thoughts, actions, beliefs, pain, sorrow, joy, and peace all are equal. Equal in we experience all of them. There isn’t one more evolved than the other. Some just remember and others don’t.

When you get to a place where you can actually see this (without the eyes), it’s (for me) a deep, deep place of laughter and lightness. I laughed harder than I ever have when I had this moment of freedom from any story, all stories. That anything had to be anything. There was nothing to have, to get, or attain, especially evolved or enlightened—nor anything spiritual.

We aren’t meant to be perfect. We aren’t meant to be above humanness and have zero reactions. We are here to experience being human with all those messy, sticky, icky imperfections. We are here to be.

I really have to chuckle sometimes when I hear I never react. I’m always calm. Or the best one yet was while in a coaching program where the coach said, “It’s difficult sometimes trying to communicate with people who are not conscious.”

That which sees someone else as the unconscious is the same as the unconscious. Otherwise, you see the person as a human having the same imperfections as you do. They are equal.

There is no “bless them” or “Namaste” as in you haven’t reached where I am.

Sending good vibes. Possibly it’s the reverse; you haven’t reached where they are. Consider the part of you that thinks you are more evolved than they are.

I know for a fact that spiritual gurus are humans living a human life like everyone else. They have personalities and imperfections like everyone else. What they are showing are the realizations that they have had.

They are only giving you their journey. They are not the know-all and be-all of the universe. We put them on a pedestal and call them spiritual teachers who are above humanness.

F*ck spirituality! I’m having an experience. Sometimes, I’m fully awake and sometimes I have to sit with it a bit; other times, it seems to not be there as an option. It’s me on a journey to explore myself. There really isn’t any fancy term for it. No spiritual language is necessary.

That was just another form of covering up that I am who I am and experiencing that for however long I’m here to do it. There is no magic. No chant that will do anything but make me feel calmer and more connected to me. The god is in me. The one that is part of who I am with all the other parts of who I am. Each part is as perfect as the rest. My journey is to know them, embrace them, and love them. It’s beyond words.


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