Everyone has a name, an emotional pulse, and many life stories waiting to be shared with someone.
Let’s connect. Hear each other. Stop the isolation. Shift our hearts from fear to love. Let’s take out our “nice” card and our “you matter” card. Let’s bring back basic human niceness.
Excuse my rant. My tolerance level for the questionable behaviors exhibited out there in the world has reached a boiling point. It seems as if a percentage of the human race enjoys being extra mean, blunt, rude, and disrespectful. It also feels as if this is occurring more now than before the pandemic. (I’m not sure about that last statement. It just seems like that to me.)
Yes, I know. Who made me the judge and jury? You’re right. I do have an active judge and jury, and at the same time, I also have an open and compassionate heart and a longing to belong to a human race that is nicer, kinder, and more respectful.
I’m not focusing on the horror of all our racial divisions, countless injustices, lack of equality, gender discrimination, violence, banning of books, guns or no guns, countless murders, vaccines or no vaccines, political divisions, abortion or no abortion, religious prejudices, and irrational biases.
It’s obvious that our reactions to these conflicts are in sore need of repair, self-assessment, and shifting our hearts from fear to love.
Despite all our philosophical divisions and deep conflicts, I am simply talking about being nicer to each other—no matter what.
This would be a good time to watch my quick intuitive life coaching video for early dessert.
“The Art of Being Human. How to Connect and Uplift Someone in less than 30-Seconds.”
Examples of Behaviors Running Amok
>> I was driving on the highway at 65 mph when a driver zoomed past me at over 90 mph. He was darting in-between lanes and in-between cars and forcing everyone to jam down on their brakes. I’ve witnessed the same behavior countless times this year and wonder if the root cause is the emotional ramifications of the pandemic—lack of control, grief, anger, frustration, making up for lost time. Whatever the reasons, I am tired of making excuses for scary and unsafe behavior, pandemic or no pandemic.
Unsafe is unsafe.
>> I stopped for a yellow blinking light at a crosswalk for golfers and turtles, (yes, both signs exist in this area), and because I waited to make sure there was no golfer and no turtle about to cross the street, the driver in the truck behind me impatiently honked his horn and gave me his ugly third finger.
I thought, “I wasn’t there for more than a minute or two. What’s the rush, rudeness, and disrespect all about? Do you think it’s better to hit them?”
As we drove off, and after I glared at him from my rear-view mirror, I shifted my annoyance and sent him love, light, and an abundance of patience. Whatever the source of his irritation, I imagined calm and centered healing within him.
>> When I receive emails, there are times when the sender doesn’t address me by name or ask how I am doing. Sometimes, the email isn’t signed, either. Instead, they just dive at me with their task, and that’s it. It’s as if I’m a robot, a number, and certainly not a human being.
One caveat: in my hurry to accomplish my own tasks at hand, I may do this, too. I will be more mindful in the future. I teach what I need to learn. I want to return to the niceties of life. A warm and caring greeting and a warm and caring ending.
>> When we are taking a walk outside in nature, what happened to a friendly smile and a simple “good morning?”
“Nice Day, isn’t it?”
“What a gorgeous sky.”
“Have a good one.”
>> When a waitress or waiter says, “Have a good day,” I convince myself that she/he/they mean it. I breathe in the words and think to myself, “Hey, thanks,” and then I say, “You, too. I hope everyone treats you kindly today and every day.” I leave a tip, send extra light their way, and go about my errands with a grateful and full stomach.
>> When we have a conversation with a stranger, it would be a connecting gesture to ask for their name, (and remember to share yours, too). Some of us just chat, end the talk, wave goodbye, and leave. It would be such a “nice” gesture to say, “Hey, I didn’t get your name.” It would make their day. This human being will feel visible, seen, heard, and know that they matter.
If we don’t feel like we matter and we aren’t even a name to anyone, our emotional compass can lead to despair, depression, further isolation, and even suicide.
A little more about names and universal feelings. People are always surprised when I ask their names. I often see a little glimmer of shyness, too. Generally, they seem honored, special, and valued. I know I feel valued when someone asks my name, and I also know that I am never alone with my feelings of vulnerability, isolation, lack of connection, and feeling like “the other.”
Feelings are universal and our common ground. We just think we’re the only ones that feel a certain way, but it’s not true.
To this point, I was walking on my favorite trail when a woman ran up to me with her camera. Without any regard for what I might have been doing (meditating, humming, sound healing, walking, journal writing, thinking, marveling at nature, sketching, or simply breathing into my soul a dose of renewal and rest), she plopped her camera into my hands. After I took pictures of her, she grabbed her camera and started to leave. Not even one “thank you.” No eye contact. Zero smile. No nicety. Nothing.
I decided to do what someone once said, “Be the change I want in the world.” I gently engaged in a friendly conversation, and then I did something bold.
You guessed it. I asked her name.
She told me her name was Anna, and then I told her my name—Melody. After our human-to-human warm connection, she smiled, waved goodbye, and I could feel a shift in our energy and connection.
I could be wrong about all this. Instead of feeling delighted, maybe Anna was terrified and felt that I went beyond her sense of personal space, boundaries, and even cultural tradition. Maybe she thought I was overly aggressive.
In contrast, maybe we both shifted our hearts to healing and love and both of us became changed by that moment.
I am an ordinary global citizen who seeks to encourage all of humanity to be nicer, kinder, and more empathic with each other.
Whoosh away the ego for a few minutes and welcome the other person into your life. Connect with each other and create one small corner of love that will send positive vibrations of peace and hope throughout our one precious planet.
In retrospect, “nice” always seemed like such a bland word when I was young. Nice was a word my mother used when she wanted me to conform, impress others, be perfect, live up to someone else’s image.
Over the years, nice has a new meaning and one that I greet instead of resist. It is a quality we need to revive within ourselves and a quality we need to offer to each other.
As I complete this article, I want to say a few nice things to you, and I ask you to think about what nice things you might say to someone else today. Some of my wishes for you are from the “Metta Meditation Prayer of Loving-Kindness.”
May you be happy.
May you be well.
May you be safe.
May you be peaceful and at ease.
May you experience people who are nice to you.
May you be surrounded with the healing vibration of strength, inner peace, love, and hope.
Please pass this message forward and help make humanity nice again. Thank you.
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