There’s a beautiful concept of The Sexual Fire.

And when we take time to build the fire it can become an inferno, of sensation, of feeling, energy and passion.

And that’s the key.

Taking the time, particularly for women, to grow the fire.

And here’s something interesting, a different take on the way we start the fire.

Start it hot.

Bring the passion.

Then slow it down, slow it down, slow it down.

Let’s make that practical and real. Grab your lover, hold her, look into her eyes, penetrate her with your gaze, kiss her, hard, deep.

Tell her about the fire that’s burning you.

Then slow it down, slow it down, slow it down.

There’s an excitement in this, flames that rise quickly.

They rush through the body, hers and yours.

All the locks open.

It takes you deep and high, quickly.

Then you slow down to really build the fire.

Gentle, soft.

Slow caresses.

The flame is lit, and now we nurture it, nourish it.

And it grows, naturally.

And the more time we take, the hotter it becomes.

The way that so many of us have sex is about a rush for the end. I say this more and more, most people have sex for the end of sex, which is the orgasm. And to get there we go through the steps, follow the pattern that we’re used to. We don’t spend time savouring what we’re experiencing, what we’re feeling, what the sensations are. Because each step is just there to take us to the next.

We touch, we kiss.

Breasts, genitals, penetration, orgasm.

When we become aware of the fire we start to explore what builds the fire, what makes it burn.

And we spend time there, doing what we’re doing.

We slow down so we can feel.

We watch the heat rise, the flames grow.

We allow it to burn.

Sometimes it needs more fuel, sometimes it needs to breathe, we make space for the air.

Sometimes there’s a moment where it seems the fire’s dropping, and when we watch we see how it’s gathering itself, drawing the heat, drawing the energy, and rises even higher, hotter.

There’s a beautiful awareness in this.

And a beautiful expression of all of our senses, all the ways we can touch, hands, mouths, eyes, breath, words, soft, slow, hard, quick.

There’s a bite, somewhere, one bite.

It sends shockwaves through the body, there’s a gasp.

And then there’s a slow caress somewhere else, drawing the attention to another part of the body.

There’s an awakening, a continuous awakening, sensation opening to another.

There’s your breath on the skin, blowing, a lick, then a growl of passion in your ear.

There’s a tender kiss, then my hand wrapped in your hair, pulling your head back, opening your throat for my mouth, then a whisper in your ear if how much you excite me.

Each moment raising the heat.

Adding to the flames.

Taking the time, dancing with the fire.

Learning the subtlety and the power.

Seeing how the fire moves through the body, swirls around the heart.

Feeling how everything opens, wants more.

The fire of possibility.

When we connect in this way, it’s so intimate.

We become creative, we become intuitive, we become explorers and discoverers, adventurers in the landscape of the body, of the heart, of love and desire, passion and pleasure.