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October 20, 2022

Habits and Mindset

Most of what it takes to change our patterns & habits, is just to realize that you are in one.

One of the things I see is that we as humans come only to tell our story & we also tell others stories from our story. Our stories are also told through the voices that we’ve heard. We think that everyone feels & sees the world the same as us & do not observe to see they don’t. Travel has helped me a lot to see that there is so many ways to think & live no right or wrong, only uncomfortable & unknown to me & comfortable & known to me. There is nothing wrong with thinking about our own life. However there is value in taking a break from it too. Everything is connected. Letting go of our thoughts & control, going inwards & listening to the present moment is living in trust. Leading us to explore the possibility that there could be more real & valuable than our thoughts. This is turning back to where the thoughts started to bloom & we gain access to our wise soul inside.

The future is only thoughts of what we think are going to happen. We should be cautious of these thoughts of the future because it is only a sketch of the future. A mosaic picture built from memories & experiences we’ve previously had. And we only remember a small fraction of what actually happened. Our memories are strongly lead & directed by our emotions. We are programmed to remember through our emotions & the negative bias is 5 times stronger than the positive. So it’s only natural for pain to lead us with fear because it helped our ancestors to survive. Emotionally charged situations are often the stepping stones to our projected future. What we forget is the future is speculation. How it really turns out we never will truly know.

At the end of the day mindset is so important when it comes to changing our lives, we keep forgetting this with the externally focused world. Most us fail to achieve or create better lives simply because our best muscle is not used well or not used to support us.

Currently I am living in Thailand and there is a beautiful expression. ‘Gilding the Buddah’s Back’. It comes from the tradition of going to the temple with a piece of gold leaf, candles & incense to meditate, then handing over those gifts to show your respect. Most Buddha statues in Thailand are covered in gold leaf. The expression means you do not have to make people aware of your good deeds. The truth is there is something beautiful & magical about the notion of putting your gold leaf on the Buddah’s back, where nobody will see it. More importantly it is not important that anyone knows – only you. As we have to live with ourselves all the time. Our actions & our memories are like the bodies we live in. It is up to us if it is clean or dirty.

What if we all learned that the truth is external validation or focus will never be our stepping stones to better tomorrows. It will always be about If we can get ourselves past some of the mindset challenges, so we can start to see results.

So what if we looked at our lives differently and our futures:

What if we stopped predicting what we cannot do?
What if we stopped saying we were too this or that and this is why it did not work out?

What if we stopped saying this person did not help me, this program was to this or not this?

What if we simply went back to our thoughts and speculations of the future and started to re shape them. In turn reshape our inner world, reshape our confidence, reshape our habits, reshape our commit to valuing ourselves ourselves over the large noise outside?

It is coming to the end of 2022 and 2023 is coming in hot. This is the time many of us reflect on what we did not achieve and reflect on how we failed or couldn’t make things happen because….. We also look to 2023 with new hope and intend to better ourselves with new goals and new year resolutions.

Let us not make it the same as last year.  Let us not think someone has to help us make it happen or need more money to buy this new thing. Let us make it achievable and also make it only in our hands that we hold the key to our success.

If you have not achieved what you want in your life or this year.  I repeat it could be all about your mindset, have you ever said to yourself:
I cannot do this, so why try?

This is too hard?

I am not capable?

I am not a fit person?
I cannot cook?

I don’t have enough money?

I have a negative my mind  I am depressed?
I not able to lose weight?

This is my destiny as my family are the same?

Everyone told me I cannot change my life so they are right?

Ive tried so many times it doesn’t work, so I guess I may as well not even try?
I don’t have enough time?

This is negative self talk and it is self talk that will never help you to improve your body, life or catch your goals.

I personally can understand this because as a child I was told I was not smart. I was dyslexic. I use to do poor in school tests because I could not express myself on paper so many errors because of dyslexia.  Many people told me I only got to where I am because I had a nice smile. I was told that life would always been challenging, the fun always wears off so I believe this is why I always felt anxious and depressed. I was told once I had my child my body would be damaged and Im too old for this etc.

These experiences for a long time convinced me of my inability to achieve and that I was not capable of changing my life. It took me to the point in my life where I attempted on my life. Grateful that I failed this.

It was after that moment I realised that I had excellent excuses for not trying and not being capable and that was what was limiting more than anything else in my life or person in my life.

It was at this moment I realised I was my own limitations and I was the only one truly stopping me. I had tried meditation but quit because I said I couldn’t my mind was too crazy, I had tried doing yoga but was not connecting to my breath so I said it was not helpful. I had tried to heal my migraines, skin and body from the issues plaguing me but they were all failing because I was telling myself that it wasn’t going to work anyway. I was doing fitness programs and not getting the results I wanted because I was making excuses why not to follow them and be patience. I told myself I did not have time yet watched tv and scrolled on social media. I said I am just a failure.

If you relate to any of this I can safely say the reason you did not achieve your goals so far or are not living your full potential is because your mind is your battle field and you are not winning the battle.

If you want 2023 and the rest of your life to be the best of life. Please stop buying new fitness programs, thinking someone else has the answers, thinking you have to have the perfect body, or be more capable or have more time and start instead with within and your mind.

You see if you do not unquestionably believe everything you think, if you are completely mindful and only when you are truly aware and mindful, when your attention is not pulled, you will discover a fundamental truth that the universe guides us by us knowing what we need to know when we need to know it.  This new world guides us to believe we should be everywhere but here and now and never enough.

We have a world full of information and mistrust and we are all in places outside of us that do not resonate with us.  It does not mean to be reckless, it does not mean to not plan. Instead it means to reach our goals of both wisdom, freedom and better tomorrows we must live with more trust within the journey and ourselves.  When we are able to be brave enough to let go of the vain ways we try to dictate, control the future than things start to happen and it all starts with our mindset and how we talk to ourselves.

So to simply put it to change your life, change your mindset. To change your mindset think of it like this. You have two kind of thoughts that dominate almost all of us.  Thoughts revolving around history and thoughts revolving around the future.  These thoughts capture us on a daily basis. So think of them as carrying two heavy stones.  One is containing thoughts about our history, one is containing thoughts about our future. They are valuable but we need to put them down from time to time to greet our present moment and give our 100% to now.  If we can successfully do that we can then change our past and make better tomorrows by using the here and now more wisely.

You can pick the two stones up again if you want.  It is okay to think about our own life but there is also value in letting it rest and focusing on the task at hand as the only way to control what we can control and change our lives, is to start with who we are and where we are and do what we can without limiting ourselves with our mindset. If we can get past some of the limiting set beliefs and mindset challenges, we all will start to see results and better tomorrows.

However life changes always start within.
Will you put your two stones down this 2023 and pick the present moment?

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