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November 26, 2022

healthy boundaries don’t make you bad.

I am soooo f^cking over being the villain just because I love and honor myself. 

I am tired of being the “bad guy” just because other people don’t know how to take accountability for their own sh!t. 

I am tired of being the “b^tch” just because I value my worth and set boundaries that keep me feeling safe. 

Aren’t we just compounding the beliefs that boundaries, self-love, and speaking your truth are bad or wrong by calling it these things. 

I refuse to feel bad for setting boundaries or calling out other peoples hurtful and manipulative behavior. 

I’m only here for the type of relationships where each person knows they are responsible for their own healing and their own triggers. Self-Accountability, authenticity and integrity are requirements. 

And if I set a boundary or call out unhealthy behavior, I’m not the bad guy, instead let’s have a conversation and understand each other better, no one has to be wrong. Mutual respect, understanding, and reciprocity is where it’s at. Period. 

What if instead we call in “self-worth era” or create a phrase that helps our brain and nervous system remember that we are indeed worthy of respect, that it isn’t “bad” or “wrong” or “mean” to stand up for our safety and truth. 

I don’t know about you but for me, it looks decades (and is still something I am working on) to not feel like “I am bad” down to my core when someone blames me for their hurt. Inner Child Healing was the only way I was finally able to rid my system of the shame and start to live for ME. 

It didn’t matter who was in the wrong or what happened, if their was turmoil in a relationship or something was unsteady I immediately made it my fault. Over time this compounded the belief and eventually paralyzed my inner voice. 

It took a lot of work, a lot of releasing, and a lot of healing to finally realize I wasn’t the “villain” so while I know many use this as a term of empowerment and endearment, stating they don’t give a f^ck if people call them a villain, I simply wonder if there is a better way, a healthier way, and more empowering way. 

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