May 20, 2023

Dear Women: Take Back your F*cking Power. 

“I need you,” my friend sobs into the phone over her recent heartbreak.

She was so hurt that she didn’t leave the house for months.

“Why is he doing this to me?” My coworker complains about her toxic relationship during our lunch break. She was so confused by the relationship that she stopped her entire life to figure out what this guy wanted from her.

“I wonder if he likes me?” My neighbor talks about last night’s date as we wander around the market. She was so focused on what he thought of her that she didn’t even give herself time to figure out if she even liked him.

Why are we so goddamn worried all the time about what he thinks? What he wants? Or, what he needs?

Over the years, we have doubted the power that lives within each of us. We neglected to realize just how f*cking fierce we truly are. We somehow forgot we are an important piece to the puzzle and that he should be so lucky for a chance to be in her presence instead of her obsessing over him.

We give our power away when we allow what others think of us to control our lives—that emotional hold that someone has over us.

We give our power away when we allow someone’s actions to alter our future. When our future is based on someone else calling the shots.

We give our power away when we care too much about what others think and not enough about what we ourselves think.

What if women around the world decided to stop giving birth? Life as we know it would end.

That is power.

Here are a few effortless ways to take back the power that belongs to us:

Recognize and declare your ambition.

You start by acknowledging what it is that you actually want. You can’t get what you don’t know you want. So find it. It could be anything in your life. It should be everything in your life.

Once you have established that want, allow it to sit there for a bit. Think about it. Dream about it. See it coming to be. Allow that strong desire to unfold within you. When that desire is set, work hard to get it. Never stop until you get it. No matter who tries to tell you otherwise, it’s yours.

Having ambition is finding ways to improve in every area of your life and developing a strong work ethic. Improving not only what you have going on the outside but also on the inside.

You can learn from others and graciously accept failure as part of the process. You might not get everything you want, but failure will make you stronger.

Power is knowing who you are and what you want. It’s being focused on self-efficacy and also the ability to cooperate with others. Power is an attitude. Power is a state of mind. Start each and every day in control.

Stop negative self-talk and replace it with positivity.

In order to replace negativity within you, you need to become aware of what the negative talk looks like. You need to find your thinking patterns to determine what it does to you and what impact it has on you. You need to step outside of yourself and challenge the negative self-talk. To give it hell. Pushing it out never to be seen or heard from again.

Once the negativity is gone it opens the door to positivity. Then practice positivity everywhere. And focus on the present.

Get clear on your values and release what doesn’t align, and advocate for yourself.

Once you acknowledge your power, you will clearly recognize your value as a person and believe in your abilities.

Focus on your skills, experiences, and accomplishments that make you unique.

Now, shout it out to the world.

Ask for help.

You don’t need to take on the world by yourself. You can accept the fact that you just can’t do it all—nor should you have to.

You are far from a damsel in distress, but you don’t need to be the hero either. There is no need to prove anything to anyone. Sometimes people just need help and shouldn’t be afraid to ask for help when needed.

It doesn’t mean you are powerless. It means you are powerful enough to admit when you need help.

Speak up and share your opinions and ideas with the world.

Your voice is just as important as the next person. So speak up. Just replace your fears with full confidence. And stop censoring yourself.

Dig deep down in order to know what you want and say it. Know your values. And really believe in your answers.

Also, don’t be afraid to ask a bunch of questions. But always remember to listen to what others are saying as well.

Acknowledge your fears.

The only way to move past your fears is to confront them. You need to accept responsibility for how you feel and stop dismissing it. Let’s get curious and start noticing your fear. It will help you understand what your response tendencies are. Then you can begin to reflect in those fearful moments. Once you know every bit of what those fears are and what they do to you, you can begin to confront them.

Self-doubt and fear have a way to make us blend in with those around us. It’s easy to get lost. But trying to fit in with the crowd will only cause you to disguise who you really are. Trust that you are mentally strong enough to stand out.

Let’s dare to be different.

Build a support group.

Everyone has a support group that starts with a great group of friends—the people who will stand by our side through the ups and downs. Even if your support group consists of one person, the numbers don’t matter. It’s who will be there until the end.

Spending time with a crew who has a high vibration or matches yours will only enhance what is already inside of us.

But also don’t be afraid to spend time alone in silence. That is where you’ll find your power source.

Maintain a growth mindset.

When you continue to grow, you are creating a mindset of power. Identify and create your mindset. Who do you want to be? Look at the improvements you have accomplished. Look at all you were able to do.

Use your soul’s desire to set the tone and your mind will follow along.

Don’t waste energy complaining. It takes up too much valuable space in our thoughts.

Practice forgiveness because when you are angry or upset by something someone did or said, that, too, takes up too much space in your thoughts. Forgive for your own peace of mind. Not theirs.

Take time to admire the success of others. Praise the people in your life for their power. It’s something to be excited about.

Try to learn something new every day. Knowledge is power.

Become the most powerful version of yourself.

Practice self-care.

Anytime you are reevaluating yourself, self-care is one of the main ingredients for change. So it’s super important when finding the power within to get regular exercise. It helps boost your mood and improve your health.

Begin a healthy diet that includes eating regular meals and staying hydrated. Get a full night’s sleep. Your body needs to rest. And take time for yourself to relax.

Practice gratitude, focus on positivity, and stay connected.

Make your self-worth independent of other people’s wants, needs, and opinions, and be willing to stand out from the crowd. Your power is your honest, authentic self.

Power is accepting and being all of yourself. Love what you do. Do what aligns with your values. And follow your intuition and creativity.

When you find your power, you feel like you are in control of your life. Power is bold. Power is confidence. Power is motivation. It will make you stand a little taller. It will make you strong. It will make you believe in yourself.

We can’t control the world around us, but we can control our reaction to it. Take back your power. Keep your power. Own your power.


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