No one in this world has any control or power to do anything whatsoever; whatever we experience in life is the result of our own karmic account. This means, ‘I am suffering because of my own karmas.’ Then, where comes the question of seeing the other person at fault and blaming him?!
So, right understanding will not only help us come out of our expectations, but it will also keep us away from grief, sadness, anxiety and stress that one generally may experience during interactions with others, as it makes us realize how other people are never at fault, no matter how the interaction turns out to be or how the circumstances surrounding our interaction shape out to be.
Materialistic things hold no importance when it comes to taking care of a person’s feelings. Generally, we end up hurting others when we think we are put to some loss, be it in terms of love, money, power, pride, ego, relationship or any other personal thing that we value. The damage that we believe was caused to us is actually a result of our own karma (as discussed above), but unaware of this principle, we cause hurt to others. Lest we realize that doing so, we not only destroyed our inner peace and happiness in the present moment, but we also invited pain and misery into our future life.
Therefore, to maintain our daily happiness and inner peace now and forever, every morning, we shall pray to God with a pure and sincere intention in our heart that, ‘Dear God, May no living be caused slightest hurt through any of my thoughts, words or actions.’
Inspite of doing the above prayer, during the day, there shall be instances where we couldn’t stop hurting others. If any such mistake has happened through the day, we shall check that out before going to sleep at night, and remembering the God (the pure Soul) residing within the person whom we hurt, we shall repent for all those instances and vow to never repeat this mistake again, ‘Dear God! I made this mistake. Please forgive me and give me strength so that I never make this mistake again.’ That’s called pratikraman. Isn’t that very easy?!
So, starting today, let’s practice pratikraman every day, as this verily is in our own interest, for our own daily happiness and inner peace. Nevertheless, instances of hurting others may continue to happen by us, but soon, they will be on a diminishing scale. So until hurting others continues, we will continue to seek pardon from God as well! This indeed is the most effective weapon to wash off our mistakes and progress on the path that makes us pure.
We lose our peace when we hold a grudge or prejudice for someone. Holding onto our anger first burns us from inside, and then our surrounding. Rather, if we forgive the other person, it results in mental peace; because by forgiving, we let go of our own anger and pain.
Moreover, this increases our nobility too. And most important, it makes us light and fosters daily happiness and peace inside us. So, let go the anguish and despair, let go all the negative emotions and fears, and let’s move on the path of light!
During interaction with some specific person(s), with whom there’s a tendency of a clash to happen more than often or for no good reason, and even a single sentence spoken creates conflict and havoc in the lives of each other, we can try doing the following prayer:
“Dear God, please grant me the energy to speak words that will heal and bring closure to the mind of (name of the other person with whom we are facing difficulty while interacting). May I speak words that bring closure to the conflict, if any, in the mind of (name of that person). Please remove all the obstacles arising at the time of me interacting with (name of the other person) so that there prevails complete satisfaction in the mind of (name of the person).”
Saying this prayer in our mind every time before an anticipated conversation or whenever there happens interaction with that person, will help our interaction complete with equanimity. Also, there won’t arise opposition in the mind of the person when we speak.
Param Pujya Dadashri says, “If you simply assimilate the phrase ‘adjust everywhere’ in your life, it is more than enough. Peace will arise automatically for you.”
If we understand in correctness that anything that comes to me is because of my own karmic account and not as per the other person’s wish, and accordingly adjust willingly and lovingly, then this is bound to yield immense mental peace.
We lose peace because we try to change people or situations to become as we want. Each person is bound to have a different nature and set of habits. If we accept people the way they are, without seeing them at fault, this will increase the love and harmony in our relationships.
And just as we accept others’ nature and set of habits, when we accept our shortcomings and then work upon them based on the Enlightened One’s teachings, we will be able to come out a winner more speedily and effectively.
Param Pujya Dadashri says, “True peaceful state is that when one has inner peace amidst total lack of peace on the outside.” This becomes possible after Self-Realization.
When we attain Self-Realization from Gnani, the Enlightened One, and thereafter, staying in his company, follow his teachings, we experience an altogether different and superior happiness and peace inside; that too with much more ease and surety.