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January 16, 2024

Suspicion – One difficulty in Life

One person, who was highly educated and whose wife too was very educated and sophisticated, started saying about himself, “Ours is a love marriage. We love each other very much, have earned a lot, we also have two beautiful, well-mannered and educated children. Yet at times, a question arises in our life and terrible bitterness pervades our sweet life.”

The question is that in some party, at a wedding or a friend’s place, if I talk to some other woman with just a little smile; it’s with a pure heart, but even then, there and there my wife’s face gets grumpy, if some woman comes and sits next to me, she (my wife) gets fever, and on way back home and often all night, on this matter, a big fight strikes.

Many a times, naturally if some woman gets praised a little by me, then immediately, she feels the burn and she’ll say, “You always find other women only to be good, and your own wife, you don’t like even a bit.” Sometimes at a friend’s dinner party, if I happen to say, “Lady, you prepare very good samosas!” then on returning home, the wife starts, ‘Where do you like my cooking at all? I strive to make good dishes, but where do you have any appreciation for it? Everyone praises my cooking, but you relish food prepared by other women only. Then go and stay there only, lie there and eat dishes prepared by them! What’s there here?”

At times, children also come to know about this and it has an adverse effect on them too. Other than my wife, (I have never loved anyone else), I have never done anything mischievous in my life. Yet this is the case? What’s the reason for this? And what’s the solution to it?

If we try to find the reason for this, then this is a psychology. A woman who has a lot of possessiveness over her husband, such doubts inevitably find a place there. It is not only a man’s complaint, but so many women also have the same complaint against their husbands. The wife does not quickly disclose about her husband whereas the husband is quick to do so. In case of so many women, it is seen that their husband does not even allow her to talk to any man. And he does not take her to any party or even any wedding, and in case the wife is very beautiful, then the problem is even more!

This doubt can never be resolved because it is a doubt born out of possessiveness alone. In reality, there is no such thing. Deep down in their hearts, both of them are sure that there is no truth in this, yet one’s intellect provokes them, it suppresses the heart’s call and creates havoc. Man generally does not pay any heed to woman’s suspicion; he overpowers it with strength; but the woman experiences terrible helplessness when it is the man suspecting.

The woman is constantly feeling stressed inside. She keeps avoiding talking to a man in the presence of her husband, and lives in a constant fear within that what if my husband gets suspicious about me. Yet, there is no saying when and where the suspicion will arise. Despite she being pure, she is not able to make him accept her purity, and finally when one gets old, at that time only the suspicion stops, automatically, because then there is no buyer of this material. If you get sure of the matter, then this can be solved! There, if you suppress the intellect and listen to the heart, how fragrant this life becomes!

One lady says, ‘My husband may be slipping (getting attracted to some other lady) in his mind so many times! Where am I able to keep a count of that!? And if my husband talks to another woman, why should I spoil my mind? And why not live with husband maintaining love and trust rather than spoiling my mind and making life miserable?… so that I and my children live in peace. So if I keep a little right understanding, then in life, there is only happiness and happiness, right?!

And my experience of doubting teaches me that when doubt arises, at that time, how much i suffer inside?! And most of the time, the doubts are not true. And even if true, should I use the power to solve it or waste that power in suffering by doubting over it?! After pondering a lot over all of this, a firm conviction has arrived within me that I don’t want to allow any wedge of suspicion between husband and wife. And since then our lives have truly become heavenly!’

Blessed is, Oh woman, your understanding!

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