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February 22, 2024

What is Left When We Write it all Out?

*Did you know you can write on Elephant? Here’s how—big changes: How to Write & Make Money or at least Be of Benefit on Elephant. ~ Waylon

~

It’s been over a year since I had an article published here.

It isn’t because I haven’t been writing; I have.

I’ve written short little paragraphs of thoughts and feelings and they litter the notes I’ve saved.

The feelings are not loud and no longer are they deep; in fact, they almost feel like they belong to someone else.

There is no passion behind them, no desperate urge to purge and have them heard.

I was discussing this with my therapist last week,

about how I seem to have this block, all the material that poured out of me has been replaced with something else.

Something that doesn’t hurt, something that isn’t heavy.

During our session, I asked if pain and trauma were my muse.

My therapist reminded me of how most art is birthed of either love or pain.

This doesn’t mean I hold no love, much the opposite.

I’ve never felt more love,

I’ve never been so in love.

I’ve never been so happy, and connected to myself, and those whom I share with.

It doesn’t mean that pain and sadness don’t touch me,

being human, we are guaranteed to experience pain at different times in life and worry is a constant shadow that I must bring light to every day.

I’ve gone back and read my first article and each one after that, and I find it so strange to see my name and the words formed underneath telling a story of what I held inside.

I have a great therapist and she could tell you of the girl she met 16 years ago and the changes that she’s made.

I know she’s proud, but not more than I am.

Did expressing it all the through writing really heal the little girl?

Could it have been that easy?

Was that the prescription I needed?

Was it the cure to have published 26 venerable articles?

I’m not sure,

but what I am sure of is that writing about pain and shame, expressing the dark parts of ourselves most definitely is pivotal in moving from what holds us and what keeps us stuck.

If you’re here, reading this, maybe you too have things that you hold onto, things that keep you stuck in the past.

Maybe your cure isn’t to publish an article.

Maybe it’s just a start to write it out, get it out, and find the beauty that has been lying dormant underneath,

the exquisite treasure,

that is you.

~

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