{Did you know you can write on Elephant? Here’s how—big changes: How to Write & Make Money or at least Be of Benefit on Elephant. ~ Waylon}

 

If you know me then you may know that I have low self-esteem.

If, like me, you think badly of yourself, learning how to give yourself grace might be one of your biggest issues.

It has been one of mine for a long, long time. Do I love myself? Sure. Do I always love myself? No.

I wanted to experience continuous self-love in the past. I didn’t allow myself to fail. I could only move forward—never backward.

This whole journey of self-love has become arduous. I’m slowly realizing that failing is inevitable. We might think that self-love is only associated with positive feelings, but…it’s not. In fact, it’s the opposite. Something negative or undesirable almost always sparks it and I’m only beginning to understand that.

Today I couldn’t press the reset button. I failed. I was stuck in a loop that was filled with regret, self-blame, and self-pity. I couldn’t love myself at that moment. All I did was replay the past and make up unnecessary scenarios in my head that would swirl around with no end in sight.

I couldn’t say any mantras or affirmations. I sure as hell wasn’t grateful and my boundaries were at their weakest. Take a shower, maybe? Nope. Go for a walk? Nope. Journal? Nope.

There was one thing though I did that screamed yes. I didn’t do it intentionally and I didn’t think of it as self-love at first.

I did nothing.

I sat there on the couch and said okay. I said okay to my feelings of regret, shame, and self-pity. I felt it all.

Was it self-love? Not directly. But it was self-acceptance for sure. And maybe, just maybe, accepting our raw and messy and cynical feelings is self-love. Not doing anything about them is self-love.

It’s about treating myself in a loving way when I’m at my worst. I don’t only celebrate my strengths; I also celebrate my weaknesses. Doing nothing and embracing my ugly emotions is what I can do right now whenever I struggle to love myself—and maybe you can too.

So ask yourself today, how do I treat me when I hit rock bottom?

~