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The meaning of life is me.

Before anyone thinks I’m self-centered, I want you to know something. The meaning of life is also you.

You see:

“Life has no meaning. Each of us has meaning and we bring it to life. It is a waste to be asking the question when you are the answer.” ~ Joseph Campbell

Often, we look to circumstances and people outside of ourselves to give us the answer to the meaning of life. When we look outside ourselves, we end up disappointed and discouraged, much like the intelligent beings in “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.” They waited millions of years for Deep Thought, a computer, to tell them that the answer to “life, the universe, and everything” is 42. That didn’t mean anything to them.

The answer one gives to this question is only significant to the one who is giving it.

So, what we need to consider instead is that the actual meaning of life is the meaning that we each give to it. Or rather, the point is to find the meaning in our own life rather than the meaning of life, which relates to humans as a whole. The answer must be unique to the individual because everyone has different values and insights.

The meaning feels elusive at times. So, I’m sharing five things that I have used as a starting point in cultivating meaning in my own life.

1. Be present in the moment.

The present moment is the only place in our lives that we can control. Living in and holding onto past disappointments can result in dissatisfaction. This can look like hanging onto a relationship that didn’t work out or not getting what seemed like the perfect job. Looking ahead to a future that we can’t control can result in unnecessary anxiety and fear. Both take us out of the magic of the current moment and prevent us from enjoying what we have right now.

2. Do things that ignite joy.

Welcome joy. It’s important to embrace moments and activities we love. It doesn’t have to come from a major event. For me, simple things like the first warm and sunshine-filled day after a Midwest winter brings a great sense of joy. Embrace and make time for your passions as these help spark joy too.

3. Define and accept your current self-concept.

The important piece is to love and accept yourself now as you are, even if you aspire to change. If you don’t love yourself as you are now, you can’t feel good about yourself with changes. This is because you don’t know how to have that love. Then, determine who you want to be. Once you know where you want to go, then you’ll make choices that are in alignment with who you want to be.

4. Find purpose in activities that otherwise feel unimportant. 

Sometimes, the day-to-day chores can feel pointless, but they don’t have to. For example, see how doing laundry for family members is an act of love rather than just a chore to check off the to-do list. This can be as simple as making sure that your son always has clean clothes for practice. Remember that it is a way of showing up for them and helping them be their best. Or, by spending time doing food prep, you’re making the rest of the week less stressful.

5. Connection.

From my experience, this is tough. I tend to get lost in groups because I’m quiet and don’t speak over others. That makes it tough to build connections. I sought out settings, new activities, and smaller groups that make it easier for me to interact in the group. It may be necessary to extend your comfort zone to make this happen, but it is worth it.

We don’t know how long we get to be here, but each day is an opportunity to find and build meaning. Although that meaning is personal, it’s not something we can find without the help of others.

“The true meaning of life is to be discovered in the world rather than within man or his own psyche, as though it were a closed system.” ~ Viktor Frankel

I challenge everyone to go into the day with these practices in mind. Invest yourself in each moment and see how life can feel meaningful rather than something to endure each day.

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