This week has been a year.

This month has been a decade.

And if the past few days have been any indication, the next four years are going to feel like a dystopian eternity.

If I could unsubscribe from this whole mess, I would.

Instead, I sit with my baby boy, barely five months old, trying my best to find the balance between staying informed (lest my mom brain become completely consumed by diaper changes, milestones, and an endless slew of Ms. Rachel songs) and staying sane (lest my humanitarian brain become entirely overstimulated by the discrimination, ignorance, and incompetence that seems to exist everywhere).

I can’t say I’m surprised by what’s happening in the United States, or the world at large. Surprise left the building decades ago.

I think I’m some strange mix of depressed, enraged, and full of petty (or is it justified?) revenge fantasies for anyone who voted for this current dumpster fire of an administration (because what the f*ck?), those who chose not to vote (because that helped what exactly?), and those who want to pretend that everything is just fine and we’re all overreacting (how deep is that hole you’ve buried your head in?).

But mostly, I’m heartbroken.

Because I don’t know what kind of world my son will grow up in. Because I don’t know if I’ll be able to protect him, or even protect myself, from what’s to come.

Some days, it just feels like too much for my heart and brain to process.

Today, I came across a poem from Mary Oliver that honored that heartbreak while also injecting a little hope into what feels like a hopeless situation:

 

View this post on Instagram

I was automatically struck by the first two sentences. They feel like a daily invitation to life. Like a question we need to ask ourselves every morning:

“Here is a story to break your heart. Are you willing?”

And the last two lines, they are the answer:

“I tell you this to break your heart, by which I mean only that it break open and never close again to the rest of the world.”

May we take this answer and allow it to heal our hearts today, tomorrow, for the next four years…and beyond.

~