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This is not where I thought I’d be.

When I imagined my life at 35, this wasn’t it.

Actually, if I’m honest, I never really imagined it at all. The future thing—picturing where I’d be—was always a struggle. But I did have some assumptions.

I thought I’d at least be in a loving relationship, maybe have my finances sorted, own a property or two, and definitely run my own business. I even thought there might be a kid in the mix (not that I’m overly maternal). And yet, here I am, wondering if I should freeze my eggs.

Life, it turns out, didn’t unfold as expected—at all.

So, where am I now? Well, I’m 35. I’ve got a good job. I live (renting) in a small one-bedroom apartment that’s not quite big enough to throw a metaphorical cat around (don’t tell my cat I said that). I’m single, still trying to mingle, holding out hope for some magical, movie-style meet-cute, because honestly, one more ghosting on a dating app might just push me over the edge. I do, however, own a motorbike, which is cool, and I have a pretty amazing group of friends. Oh, and there’s Mr. Gray, my cat—who I lovingly refer to as Muffin, because, well, he’s a bit of a chubby boy.

In 2018, I left my life in London to start fresh on the other side of the world in Sydney. What was supposed to be a six-month adventure has now turned into seven years, and I’m still here, still figuring out what’s next. I don’t feel any closer to where I’m “supposed” to be, and honestly, I’m not even sure what or where that is. The hardest part? With the way the world is right now, my situation doesn’t feel all that unique. The “single cat lady in her mid-30s with no house or partner” is practically a stereotype now, and honestly, I think it reflects a larger trend across both genders.

I’ve been reflecting on how to escape this spiral of “What the heck am I doing with my life?” inside screams.

Here’s what I’m coming up with:

Leave the house more. Sounds simple, but it’s easy to get too comfortable in your own space and forget to engage with the world. Minor daily interactions can spark joy, even if it’s just a brief chat with a stranger.

Pick up new hobbies. I’m starting pottery and learning French. It’s tough with long workdays, but I’m committed to making time for it.

Create your own meet-cutes. It doesn’t have to be romantic—just connecting with people, even for a moment, can make a difference. We’re all so glued to our screens that we miss real-world opportunities. (Plus, friendships are just as important as relationships.)

Do more of what brings you joy. Whether it’s reading, painting, or taking walks, just do it. Life’s too short to neglect the things that make your soul sing.

Volunteer more. I used to do this a lot, and somehow, time got away from me. Giving back never fails to lift your spirit, and there’s so much joy in helping others.

Spend time with the ones you love. Your friends, your family, your pets. Build up your relationships. Hold the people you love close. Thrive in your community. The connection with others is everything, and it’s so easy to forget in the rush of life. Nurture the bonds that make life richer.

There are plenty of other things I could add, but the main takeaway is this: Get out of your head. Get out of your comfort zone. Step outside and start creating.

The world will never be the same again. As much as I long for the simpler, more wholesome days of the ’90s—when we had to actually remember our best friend’s house phone number and meet them in person, no WhatsApp, no Instagram—I know I can still create a beautiful life, even if it looks different than I imagined.

The key is to start living with purpose, to take action, and to embrace the beauty in what’s unfolding—because, no matter what, life can still be beautiful.

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