Talking can be powerful. And exhausting. Especially when we feel like our words are not heard.

As I approach my 40s and embark on the second half of life, there are moments when talking as my primary form of self-expression regarding anything that hits too close to home feels too much.

I doubt there’s any coincidence that my closest friendships revolve around messaging. I enjoy conversing with my loved ones, but writing allows me to lean into the power of the pause.

How often have you sat across from someone, searching for a way to explain that weight in your chest or the intuitive hit you’ve received, only to come up empty? If you’re anything like me, years of holding most of my emotions in means it’s hard to know where to begin at times with talking.

Enter Journaling

Let’s be clear: journaling is not a replacement for professional treatment, peer support, or meaningful conversations with people we genuinely connect with. When journaling isn’t simply a cerebral exercise (in other words, when we are connected with our body and not merely engaging in a brain dump), it can certainly complement healing. There’s a load of science exploring expressive writing.

The blank page is a place almost anyone can turn to when the idea of speaking or articulating ourselves in a meaningful way to others feels too much of a stretch. Our journals are a quiet space where we can begin to unravel safely, one word at a time. Because sometimes, the page feels safer than the room.

When We Struggle With Self-Expression

I don’t teach “standard journaling.” I work with journaling as a tool and a body-based approach called embodied processing to help people regulate their nervous systems. Embodied processing is a body-based approach to working with trauma. I’m a certified practitioner through The Centre for Healing here in Australia. I consider myself trauma-informed, and I mostly work with women in midlife and beyond who are often juggling parenting, caregiving, careers, and relationship dynamics among other things. For these women, there’s a pressure to remain composed at all costs. To keep going. To not be “too much” or ask too much of others.

We can get so good at serving others that we concurrently, perhaps unknowingly, all too often silence our inner world. There’s no place for censorship when it comes to emotions. And yet, we learn to smile when we’re crumbling, apologise unnecessarily, and offer support when we’re starving for nourishment. So when the time finally comes to express our feelings, the words don’t always surface, especially when talking. People mistakenly label their fear as “writer’s block” even when journaling. It’s not that you can’t write; in most cases, people feel blocked from writing anything meaningful.

We Are Not Broken

Whether we talk or write, our emotions and feelings need somewhere to go. Bottling them up isn’t the answer. That’s where writing can become a tool if we can let go of the attachment to being a “good” writer or the outcome and allow our words to flow.

Journaling doesn’t expect anything of us. We don’t need to respond in real time. The page or screen (if you’re typing, although I recommend handwriting) won’t interrupt, question, or require anything from you. It won’t matter if you cry halfway through or scribble angrily on your page. Even if all you can manage to write is, I don’t know what to say, you’ll be welcomed back with open arms when you know exactly what needs to be expressed. And if you shred your writing after your session, your journal won’t hold that act against you.

How Does Journaling Complement Healing?

The key to embodied journaling is that it meets you exactly where you are. You have the time and space to feel your feelings. When combined with a resource—this is an embodied processing term to refer to something that helps you to come back to a place of safety or the opposite of overwhelm (think of a pet, memory, color, song, food, and so on)—you can be open and curious to what surfaces for you in the moment. Most importantly, you can explore safely thanks to your resource as you can come back to it at anytime.

This approach to journaling is especially healing for women who have spent years filtering themselves for the comfort of others. You don’t have to be palatable, patient, or positive on the page. You can simply be.

Journaling allows many things to be true at the same time. Life is complex and downright messy. You can write the same sentence five times to see how the repetition feels. You can write individual words, paragraphs, pages and even random thoughts that don’t make sense.

You Are Worthy of Whatever You Need to Express Yourself

I’ve been through phases where I can’t express myself meaningfully while processing experiences. If talking feels too hard right now, that’s okay. You are not failing. You are not doing healing “wrong.” You are moving through whatever you need to in your unique way. You’re exactly where you need to be.

Journaling is not a quick fix or “hack.” It can become a bridge to wherever you need to go. A way to stay connected to yourself when the noise of the world and your mind feels too loud.

Start where you are. Pick up a pen. Let your truth meet the page.

You’ll be amazed at what begins to shift when you let go and allow yourself to unfold.

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