When Your Someone Special Asks For Space

It can be so difficult to hear when coming from someone you love.

It’s confusing, hurtful, and sends a wave of panic through our stomachs. It’s the “I need space,” speech.

Often times they won’t make eye contact when they ask and it’s difficult to read them. Is this what they think is an easy way to break up with you? Are they thinking space might help bring back the feelings they once had? Are they no longer attracted to you?

Those questions race through your mind and you might even ask some of them.

When someone asks for space, it’s so important that we allow them that. In my article, Don’t Panic After Being Dumped, I talk about how you don’t have to get your ex back right now in order to get them back. In fact, if you try to force things to happen quickly, you are almost certainly pushing your ex further away.

When someone that we care about is pulling away, even if they tell us that it will only be temporary, we MUST allow them that space. Not only is that the best way to get them back, but it’s also our only option. Anything else will push them away.

Think about it. If someone tells you that they want something for their life, but you want something else (in this case, to be a certain part of their life), do you realize how selfish it would seem of you to refuse to give them what they think they want?

Anything other than giving them space will seem like a child in a store being told that she can’t have a toy. Some children have parents who give in when they pitch a fit. They’ll cry, scream, and throw a tantrum to get that toy. To the other people in the store, the child’s behavior comes across as annoying, spoiled, and inappropriate.

You will appear similar to that spoiled child if you refuse to give your boyfriend or girlfriend space after they have asked for it. You will appear selfish and as though you place your own needs far above theirs.

When you seem that way to them, they are far less likely to come back to you. But give them their space and you show that you are a good listener. You show that you can handle not getting your way with maturity and dignity.

As they experience their space and see that you are allowing them to have it, your stock rises. They see that you are a strong person who is willing to allow them to manage their own life even if it’s painful to you.

Trust me, when you give the space that has been requested, your odds of this person coming back to you are much higher than if you try to force closeness. I’ve seen it hundreds of times.

-Coach Lee, Relationship Coach, MyExBackCoach.com

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