This morning I awoke at 4:30 consumed by a debilitating dread. I knew I wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep until I explored my feelings, so I decided to go out onto my balcony and sit with my fear. You see there are people in my life that I love deeply and in my desire to cling to this love and avoid the possible pain it could bring me, my mind began to wander into the realm of the worst-case scenario.
Unfortunately, my life has brought to me many worst-case scenes, and so I often find myself very prepared. As I was sitting outside in the gathering dawn with my mind running rampant, exploring and entertaining these fears and questioning if I could access my Buddha nature if I was faced with the possibility of this betrayal becoming reality, I heard a hiss.
My mind immediately saw before me a huge king cobra rising to tower above me, mouth open ready to devour me, but in less than a second I realized it was not a cobra producing the hissing, but the early morning water sprinkler. I burst out laughing at myself and my vivid imagination. I realized my mind was probably creating the same type of reaction in this situation–turning what could be a nurturing water sprinkler into a devouring cobra.
I then thought of the wise words of Chogyam Trungpa,
“Remember, any thought is just thinking.”
Later that day I was in a yoga class where we did King Cobra pose. Again I laughed at myself, giddy with the knowledge that I am at once the cobra, the sprinkler system, the dawn, the nurturing love, and the debilitating fear.
Hollie has earned a BGS with a concentration in Human and Behavioral Science from Indiana University and holds a graduate level certificate in Organizational Management and Development from Fielding Graduate University. Hollie is also a registered yoga instructor and is building a practice in multi-modal yoga therapy and authenticity coaching. Hollie and her teens study To-Shin Do, meditation and Buddhist Studies at Boulder Quest Center, where she teaches yoga.
hot on elephant
July’s Full Moon in Capricorn: The Heart wants what it Wants. The 4 Stages of a Good Divorce. How to Love a Woman who Scares You. Our Soulmates are Rarely Who We Expect. I Still Think of You. Men, Let’s Stop Fooling Ourselves: Size Matters. To the One Who Tried to Break Me. An Open Letter to the Fixers. How your Stored Memories in the Amygdala can lead to PTSD. How My Sister’s Death Transformed my Self-Perception.