New Eminem video portrays, confronts domestic abuse.

Via on Aug 30, 2010

Eminem video: I Love the Way You Lie ft. Rihanna, Megan Fox, Dominic Monaghan—and an Abusive Relationship.

Eminem’s latest video portrays domestic abuse.

75 Million views in just two weeks—what does America’s youth get from this song?

…I laid hands on her…next time I’ll hit the dry wall…If she ever tries to f*cking leave again Imma tie her to the bed And set the house on fire…

With four of the hippest, biggest names in entertainment, Eminem’s latest is playing everywhere—and playing with fire. It’s brave, it’s open, it’s dangerously ambiguous.

Context:

Rihanna recently…said: “It’s something that, you know, we’ve both experienced on different sides, different ends of the table.

“Eminem pretty much just broke down the cycle of domestic violence and it’s something that people don’t have a lot of insight on. I knew if he sent me a record there must be something to it. It couldn’t just be, ‘Oh, duh! She was in that relationship so we have to get her.’ The lyrics were so deep, so beautiful and intense. It’s something that I understood, something I connected with.” In the song, Eminem raps: “I laid hands on her/I’ll never stoop so low again/I guess I don’t know my own strength.”

For more.

Lyrics:

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that’s alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that’s alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

I can’t tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there’s a steel knife
In my windpipe
I can’t breathe
But I still fight
While I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right
It’s like I’m in flight
High of a love
Drunk from the hate
It’s like I’m huffing paint
And I love it the more that I suffer
I suffocate
And right before I’m about to drown
She resuscitates me
She f*cking hates me
And I love it
Wait
Where you going
I’m leaving you
No you ain’t
Come back
We’re running right back
Here we go again
It’s so insane
Cause when it’s going good
It’s going great
I’m Superman
With the wind in his bag
She’s Lois Lane
But when it’s bad
It’s awful
I feel so ashamed
I snap
Who’s that dude
I don’t even know his name
I laid hands on her
I’ll never stoop so low again
I guess I don’t know my own strength

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that’s alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that’s alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

You ever love somebody so much
You can barely breathe
When you’re with them
You meet
And neither one of you
Even know what hit ‘em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah them chills
Used to get ‘em
Now you’re getting f*cking sick
Of looking at ‘em
You swore you’ve never hit ‘em
Never do nothing to hurt ‘em
Now you’re in each other’s face
Spewing venom
And these words
When you spit ‘em
You push
Pull each other’s hair
Scratch, claw, bit ‘em
Throw ‘em down
Pin ‘em
So lost in the moments
When you’re in ‘em
It’s the rage that took over
It controls you both
So they say it’s best
To go your separate ways
Guess that they don’t know ya
Cause today
That was yesterday
Yesterday is over
It’s a different day
Sound like broken records
Playin’ over
But you promised her
Next time you’ll show restraint
You don’t get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave
Out the window
Guess that’s why they call it window pane

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that’s alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that’s alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Now I know we said things
Did things
That we didn’t mean
And we fall back
Into the same patterns
Same routine
But your temper’s just as bad
As mine is
You’re the same as me
But when it comes to love
You’re just as blinded
Baby please come back
It wasn’t you
Baby it was me
Maybe our relationship
Isn’t as crazy as it seems
Maybe that’s what happens
When a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is
I love you too much
To walk away though
Come inside
Pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don’t you hear sincerity
In my voice when I talk
Told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I’m pissed
I’ll aim my fist
At the dry wall
Next time
There will be no next time
I apologize
Even though I know it’s lies
I’m tired of the games
I just want her back
I know I’m a liar
If she ever tries to f*cking leave again
Imma tie her to the bed
And set the house on fire

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that’s alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that’s alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie


Pretty close to home, this one. What do you think?

I’ll copy a few comments so you all can see the kinds of thoughts this video inspires: for me it was a mixture of (I don’t want to see this) and (this is pretty close to home for Rihanna) and, as one of the comments said, (at least this is about life, not pool parties).

[galleria]

About Waylon Lewis

Waylon Lewis, founder of elephant magazine, now elephantjournal.com & host of Walk the Talk Show with Waylon Lewis, is a 1st generation American Buddhist “Dharma Brat." Voted #1 in U.S. on twitter for #green two years running, Changemaker & Eco Ambassador by Treehugger, Green Hero by Discovery’s Planet Green, Best (!) Shameless Self-Promoter at Westword's Web Awards, Prominent Buddhist by Shambhala Sun, & 100 Most Influential People in Health & Fitness 2011 by "Greatist", Waylon is a mediocre climber, lazy yogi, 365-day bicycle commuter & best friend to Redford (his rescue hound). His aim: to bring the good news re: "the mindful life" beyond the choir & to all those who didn't know they gave a care. elephantjournal.com | facebook.com/elephantjournal | twitter.com/elephantjournal | facebook.com/waylonhlewis | twitter.com/waylonlewis | Google+ For more: publisherelephantjournalcom

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12 Responses to “New Eminem video portrays, confronts domestic abuse.”

  1. elephantjournal says:

    Good article with more quotes, context, link for help re domestic abuse: http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1645285/20100806

  2. Aron Stein says:

    On a surface level this is just about abusive relationships, but on a deeper level I feel it depicts the human condition and self inflicted suffering that we all share. Eminem probably does not consciously try to portray deeper truths in his work and for his simplistic approach he is often criticized as well as the fact that he does not seem to be condemning the negative things he portrays. But for that I am a fan. No matter how 'enlightened' we are, we are all fucked up, we are all human and we are all deluded. You have to not only accept your delusion but embrace it completely. Even wallow in it for a time as this Video portrays. Not to read to much (more) into it but the burning of the individual is very symbolic.

  3. catlyn777 says:

    When a person believes that someone else can complete them, be their soul mate, their other half, and can make them happy, and then starts to hold that person responsible for their happiness, then the flip side of love often occurs (hate) as they become enraged that the other person is now "choosing" to not make them feel happy. A cycle then begins: love, hate, love, hate and that goes on and on for awhile, until it becomes mostly hate, and then the miserable permanent break-up. "Happiness" actually always comes and goes, and the real quest should be for inner peace. That is something you have to learn about for yourself. No one else is responsible for your happiness. or your inner peace, but you will surely eventually get very pissed off if you believe that someone else is responsible for your happiness or for your misery. There is such a pressure in this culture from so many people believing that they should always be happy, and that someone or something outside of themselves can make them always feel happy. That is a form of insanity that will only heal when you realize that only you are responsible for your own inner peace today, and that happiness will always come and go, no matter who you are with.

  4. ARCreated says:

    when you are "there" you do love the hurt and the lies you don't see another way out…I think this is a very healing journery for both of them…it was powerful, could some take it as saying DV is ok? of course…people will always bend things to their own will and to justify their actions – but I will not fault this video. Rhianna is so brave.

    • Aron Stein says:

      I agree. You are ultimately responsible for your own suffering and have to come to terms with that or choose to wallow in it. The people who expect pop culture to send positive messages are not only completely unrealistic but they are missing the point of being able to self filter and take personal responsibility. People are much more resilient than we give them credit for and judging someone else's situation or behavior is just a reflection of our own personal experiences and judgments.
      We could get into issues of BDSM but I wont go there for now…

      • Julian says:

        "you are ultimately responsible for your own suffering…"

        What a privileged, white, American thing to say.

        A woman with two children who has no choice but to rely on her abusive boyfriend to take care of them financially is not responsible for her own suffering, Aron. The boyfriend is.

        We have this incredibly inaccurate mythology in this country that leads us to believe that a person can simply walk away from their problems if they so wish; and that the complexities and obstacles associated with breaking free from an abusive relationship simply don't exist. The hold that a violent spouse can have over a partner is much stronger than you might think – and blaming the situation on the aggrieved party's "inability" to transcend their own suffering is both misogynistic and blatantly ignorant.

        tl;dr: Simple people give simple answers to complex problems.

  5. marilee r torres says:

    as a survivor i realize you gotta realize and recognize the insanity of all before you can GET OUT and try to turn a different direction-toward truth and life
    too few won't look
    too few never speak of it
    too few learn
    this song, this video needs to be
    let it teach for those have eyes to see and ears to hear

  6. Ari Pliskin says:

    I enjoy listening to Eminem. The rawness feels very real and resonates with me. At the same time, I wouldn't share this with my young nieces. Part of me would prefer some more moralistic condemnation of violence, even though the ambiguity may be more raw and letting the thing exist as it is.

  7. [...] also depicts revenge—murder—as a result of said rape. This is the second time of late that an incredible song featuring Rihanna’s talents has mixed powerful issues of sexuality and violence with catchy, [...]

  8. Bryce Holsey says:

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  9. K Sequoia says:

    Ashley, I agree. That is one of my concerns as well – the complexity of this addictive, abusive cycle is not well conveyed.

    The addictive element is so true- having lived through an abusive relationship (mine was intense emotional terrorism, until the day I left and then it turned physical), I spent years afterwards diving into my addictive personality.

    The first thing I instinctively turned towards, BTW, was yoga.

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