Men “consider themselves old by the time they reach” 58. Women…

Via on Mar 27, 2011

“…consider themselves old by the time they reach…”

“…29.”

Egads.

I have nothing to add to this rather predictably disheartening report except that we ought to look at it, study it, then do the opposite of what most of us seem to be doing.

Instead, let’s alll focus on enjoying getting old, rather than fighting it.

Because, either way, we all go through being born, being young, aging, and dying…not to mention getting sick from time to time. So let’s at least enjoy it and make it look good along the way.

 

For more: Every body gets Old. (The Buddha: on aging gracefully: “At death, a person abandons what he construes as mine.”)

And: Beauty Shapes Us All.

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27 Responses to “Men “consider themselves old by the time they reach” 58. Women…”

  1. Blue Belle says:

    I don't think its meant to be a Study, the wording just says "reports". I suspect conversation with the two sexes will generally reveal that women have a different view of the aging process from mens, as they might well; it has different cultural and social consequences for females than it does for males, at least in Western industrialised nations.

    • jan says:

      Also, I have found that many women are very cruel to themselves in their self appraisals. What is that about?

    • kjtysver says:

      I thought it report that women didn't think they were old til they were 70 or some other higher number! What a surprise to me. I guess I've been "old" for a long time according to this report! I just don't buy into the gender crap.

  2. elephantjournal says:

    Pia A: oh no I did not feel old at 29…at 39 I am changing that view lol

    #
    Noa Kaminitz I wonder why is that…..take a look on Hollywood movies.. got your answer?

    #
    Colin S Tonks However, society writes men off the useful list when they reach 55 yrs of age. They are considered incapable of anything useful, particularly women.

  3. 32000days says:

    If I'm reading this correctly, an "old" man of 58 should therefore date / marry two "old" women of 29. Does this make sense?

    • Joe3 says:

      I don't know about the marrying part, but dating two "old " women of 29 would certainly "hurt" me, remember the song lyrics: "Girls,"
      I ain't as good as I once was
      I got a few years on me now
      But there was a time back in my prime

      When I could really lay it down
      And if you need some love tonight
      Then I might have just enough
      I ain't as good as I once was
      But I'm as good once as I ever was

  4. That's pretty sad. Fortunate to say I didn't start really thinking (obsessing?) about age until I hit 46. Wrote about it (babbled?) here: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2010/11/still-sort

  5. Ketster says:

    That is sad…. one need look no further than the photo to see why some women feel this way. This "old" man is most certainly not dating women his age. Just sayin.

  6. Pamela says:

    Being old is a gift – it means you didn't die young. Some of the worlds most interesting people do their best work in their seventies.

    • Karen Monteith says:

      Pamela, I am close to 64 and I do not feel old. I am hoping to do my best work in the years to come. I think many people are focused on their physical body and a few wrinkles. I hope that I maintain my mental faculties and grow old gracefully doing whatever I am drawn to and whatever I am able.

    • psychichousewives says:

      True.

  7. elephantjournal says:

    #elephantjournal.com http://www.elephantjournal.com/2010/06/every-body

    #
    Colin S Tonks When I say "They are considered incapable of anything useful, particularly women" … I actually meant that many women consider men as still being useful & capable in the you know where department.

    #
    Wenda Meijerink [Colin] Your perception of life and women in particular seems rather self focussed, mr. Tonks :)

    #
    Danielle Marsden Men age more slowly yet die earlier as a rule

    Connie Livingston-Dunn I finally got to 70 and now consider myself an older person. It's time to change our beliefs about aging.

    #
    Joseph Boquiren I enjoy getting older. There are rewards that come with advancing age. I just wish I could remember what they are :P

  8. Leah Dixon says:

    I still don't feel old at 38 and I don't think I ever will. I'm always teaching my daughter of 15 about 'my' music and other important things to have come from the past. Yes she did say on my last birthday that I 'wasn't old yet' and that 40 was but I know that she to will get there and hopefully will still feel young in herself. My role model is my mum who had me at 42 so is now 80. She shocks everyone as they think she is 20 years younger, she does tai chi, pilates and swims, she got a 2:1 in her Fine Art degree at 76, travels the world and still works as an Actress and Artist. Old is in the mind and I think once you start believing it your body will respond. Yes my mum has hearing aids, has had both hips replaced and most of her old friends have gone but she makes new friends, takes up new hobbies and luckily has the NHS to replace any worn out parts for free! I think women need to really build up their self esteem and stop trying to fight the ageing process. Show your grey hair off with pride, grab a younger guy, get on that dance floor and boogie. Who cares what other people think?

  9. Sherry says:

    I'm 65 and far from old!

  10. Janice Norris says:

    I am 62 and I am NOT old. In my experience and in conversation with other women who are 50+, women feel they are just getting started at that age, beginning new businesses, taking classes, trying new activities of all kinds. Meanwhile their men are slowing down and uninterested in activities that don't involve a remote control. It's not about "enjoying getting old!" It's about enjoying living!

  11. Sabrina says:

    In my experience this is dead wrong (I get that everyone's different though lol)..most MEN I've ever known seem to stress and worry about their age, start to get in a hurry to achieve certain goals and feel depressed if they haven't yet (with the attitude that its "too late" to start anything new), by their mid-thirties.
    I'm 41 and don't feel much different or perceive age any differently than I did in my 20s. It always bothered me when men had a crisis in their 30s or see themselves as unattractive, or feel they could no longer compete financially or must RUSH to accomplish certain preconceived goals, especially.
    Just saying..to me this is totally opposite from my own experiences. I know its different for everyone otherwise this article wouldn't have been written assuming its women who think they're old at 29. I don't even see why anyone would WANT to be that young again (unless maybe they had superior health at that age?)

  12. Val says:

    Sabrina, I'd say that that's about right. Also, I am a 51 yo female and I did not start feeling old until I became ill from a chemical exposure at 49-5o yo. Up until then I looked and felt 15 – 20 years younger.

  13. sharonmbrock says:

    Let's analyze this. Women feel "old" after their beauty has faded since men are more visually oriented, and women are more turned on by humor and intelligence than looks because they are more feelings oriented. The paradigm shift is about men acknowledging the beauty within women, not just their outer appearance. And, I believe it is happening!

    • katie says:

      While I'd love to join you in whatever fantasy land you live in- I don't see men "acknowledging the beauty within" since they are biologically programmed to prefer younger, beautiful, fertile women. It's just never going to happen. I am 31 and feel about 7 years past my prime, and frankly, thats how society views me as well.

      • tervin says:

        wow–that is tragic—if your prime was age 24 you are going to spend an awful lot of years 'old'–

      • JustMe says:

        Exactly. I know there are men out there who will claim differently, but let's face it-most want a very young woman. Once you reach your mid-20s, most women are seen as past their prime. It's been that way for ages-think of the "Old Maids" who were in their even young 20s and unmarried during Victorian times. While men are seen as getting more desirable and mature in a good way, women are seen as faded. It's sad but the way our society pushes it. Look at any magazine, show, whatever. You have the "Sexiest Men Alive" often at even age 50+ but women are rarely given that title past 30. I've seen belly dance companies who specifically state no women over 26 allowed to perform, employers who specify bartenders and waitresses under the same. It's because that's what "people" want to see. I'm not saying I approve of this-I'm one of those "old" women according to society. ;)

  14. tervin says:

    I find this hard to believe. As a 56 year old woman I can say with complete honesty that this does not reflect my thoughts, feelings or opinions. I would have to ask which women they spoke to. I find that I am far more content, serene, and happy with myself now than ever before. I rarely think of aging other than to notice the occasionally wrinkle, gray hair or creaking joint. Noticing this does not alarm me nor make me feel "old". I like my looks, my body and my spirit far more than I did at 29. I don't worry about comparing myself to other women or if men find me attractive. I should say…I work out several times a week (always have), I color my hair, wear make up and dress well. I do this for myself because I enjoy the result. I feel young, vibrant, energetic, and look forward to what is next while relishing the present moment. Having said all of that my husband has been worrying about aging and saying he is old since about 45. He dreads his waning fitness abilities, earning potential, and virility. This is a man who is 60. Works out regularly makes a very good living and has lots of flexibility in his schedule. Yet he has focused on his dread of aging for years. I know many men like him. When he says to me, "I hate getting old" I always respond with, "considering the alternative I'll take aging any time!" I think this 'study' is just more stereotypical claptrap!

  15. cindycap says:

    I was thinking more like 100! Seriously. My grandmother is 100, and everyday I read about or even meet vibrant women 70+ starting 2nd and 3rd careers or doing something remarkable. Perhaps it's time to close women's magazine pages, step away from the mirror, and redefine old away from the societal chorus. Women have to lead by example and brag a lot — sometimes we're so busy, we forget to toot our own horns. I know my grandmothers never thought to.

  16. maria says:

    I don't buy that – I think that kind of opinion or poll is a perpetuaiton of a myth. I never felt old at 29. I don't feel that now. And in my circle we pride ourselves on taken care of ourselves and being socially and physically active. Time to figure out who those 29 year old "girls" (using that on purpose) are and right the wrong.

  17. Amy E says:

    Except on the days I feel unwell, I don't feel old. I still can't believe I just entered my late 50s. Still young at heart and in mind.

  18. elephantjournal says:

    Great point. That said, there's some general truth that Hollywood, media, magazines…at least, the image and mythmakers…are a lot easier on leading men than leading women. Hopefully that'll continue to change. ~ W.

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