“Women don’t Lie.” ~ Anonymous

Via on May 9, 2011

This article comes via the mother of a longtime friend of mine, who I and many of us know to be a gentle bear of a man, far kinder and sweeter than me or just about anyone I know..! We here at elephant are happy to support this important dialogue. I would only ask that we conduct any discussion in a respectful manner, given the many painful and troubling questions it invites. We must all remember that while you and I are free to bike around and work and eat lunch and take our dogs for walks, friends of ours may be stuck in similar situations as the below. Right or wrong, this is a situation that calls for compassion and insight. ~ Waylon Lewis, ed.

I cannot tell you my name because what I am about to talk about is an ongoing legal matter. I will tell you that I am a feminist. That I fought for the rights of women to be believed. I worked for a rape crisis center in the 80s. I helped organize and participated in Take Back the Night events. I am friends with therapists and activists who have worked tirelessly for the rights of women and children. I was sexually abused as a child, and it defined my life for a number of years.

I am also a mother. I have raised a beautiful son, now a beautiful, caring man. He is honorable and strong. He has a deep spiritual practice. He is a man sensitive to the needs of women. Because of my involvement in “the movement” and because at some point he became aware of my own painful history, he is empathetic to women who have been abused.

Last year a woman, we’ll call her Sarah, accused my son of attempted sexual assault. She said, she thinks he tried to rape her. She and my son had been dating for a couple of months, but mostly they were consoling each other, I think. He, brokenhearted over the recent breakup of a long term relationship, she, confused over her on again, off again boyfriend who didn’t treat her very well.

This woman was also feeling a lot of conflict between her purported Christian beliefs and being attracted to two men. Discussions with her therapist didn’t help because, as she told my son, (let’s call him Robert), the therapist said, “what’s wrong with being attracted to two men?” But she couldn’t deal with that, and came to Robert’s house and told him she didn’t want to see him anymore. It wasn’t quite as clear cut as that because she lay down on the bed with Robert and there was flirting and fondling before she came to her decision. When she did, Robert agreed, and got up, walked her to the door. They hugged and he walked her to her car.

I know a lot of this because my son and I are friends. He had reservations about this relationship and had voiced his concerns to me. Sarah had told him that her father had abused her as a child and she had been in therapy for a long time. She had been on serious medications for bi-polar disorder for most of that time. Last summer while they were dating, she decided to get off of her meds. She told Robert she was experiencing blackouts. “Is that normal?” she would ask him. She had exhibited some strange behavior through the course of their relationship, but he had great empathy. I think seeing this reflected his own damaged soul and mine. But he was relieved when she called it off.

I have talked to therapists about bi-polar disorder, the meds that treat it and what happens when a person goes off those meds without a doctor’s supervision. None of it is good. One therapist I talked to said that false accusations skyrocket when someone decides to go cold-turkey. But because of rape shield laws that have been in place since the early 80s and because of defense lawyers’ fear of seeming to be “victim bashing,” these things more than likely will not be brought up. Nor can we bring up her litigious nature and her perception that a lot of other people, including a massage therapist, are out to hurt her.

That was the last of it for a month and then she began to think that Robert had ‘tried’ to rape her. She contacted the police. A policewoman wired her up and had her call Robert at 9pm one night. I have seen the transcript of that call and through the words on the page you can feel her desperation as she begs Robert to admit to something, anything that will “prove” her allegations.

You can hear Robert’s bewilderment as he denies over and over again her false accusations. At one point, he calls her sweetie (as he calls all his close friends), “Sweetie, I know you’re in pain.”

Despite no evidence, despite the fact that she is obviously a troubled woman, despite other attempts by her in the past to accuse people of hurting her in some way, despite her own admissions of wanting to sue others still, despite my son’s spotless record and the support of myriad women who have known him for years, the state has chosen to pursue this “case.”

If you think that women don’t lie to get back at men, how naive can you be? Yet we live in a culture of “women don’t lie,” a culture fostered by women’s groups since the 70s. A culture I helped create and support. A philosophy I believed.

Because why would women lie? The process of coming forward, going through the legal system was so horrific, so humiliating, why in the world would a woman put herself through it?

But that was then. Then, sexual abuse was hidden and women were maligned and humiliated if they dared come forward. And strong, brave women stood up for the rights of their children and themselves.

Now there are women’s groups with a strong political voice. There are women in political office, policewomen, and so on. Men and women now are predisposed to believe women when they accuse someone of rape. It is sometimes a knee jerk reaction that we have not evaluated for its veracity. We have not wanted to hear that women sometimes lie. The system has supported all women even those who lie. They’ve made it easy for them. If it is proven that a woman has lied, they are not prosecuted. They are at most sent to counseling. And being a “victim” can be intoxicating to some. It can let them off the hook for being responsible for their own actions.

But who is going to protect our sons? We who were on the front lines in the 70s when things were bad for women, we have raised good sons. Men we are proud of. Who will stand up for them?

I am now appalled to think that I was one of these women who thought that women don’t lie…and where there smoke there’s always a fire. Despite having raised a beautiful son, I was a sexist. Then I started doing research. There have been studies done since the 80s citing the percentage of rape allegations that are false.  Some studies say as high as 60%. People who have been dealing with this for years have tried to tell us that women do lie. But we haven’t wanted to hear.

(I will quote these studies but will not footnote them. They are listed at the end of this article.)

In a 1996 study published by the U.S. Department of Justice, “Convicted by Juries, Exonerated by Science” Peter Neufeld and Barry C Scheck co-founders of the Innocence Project stated:

“Every year since 1989, in about 25 percent of the sexual assault cases referred to the FBI where results could be obtained, the primary suspect has been excluded by forensic DNA testing… These percentages have remained constant for 7 years.”

Colorado’s own Craig Silverman, a former Denver DA and a zealous prosecutor of rapists, was also critical of what he calls the “politically correct victims advocate’s view” held by many prosecutors who want to “always believe the woman.” Silverman states:

“During my time as a prosecutor who made case filing decisions, I was amazed to see all the false rape allegations that were made to the Denver Police Department.  It was remarkable and surprising to me.  You would have to see it to believe it.  Any honest veteran sex assault investigator will tell you that rape is one of the most falsely reported crimes that there is. A command officer in the Denver police sex assaults unit recently told me he placed the false rape numbers at approximately 45 percent.”

Feminist rhetoric has merely replaced the old stereotypes. Now instead of being humiliated and scorned when we come forward, we are welcomed with an all-encompassing “Women Don’t Lie.”

“Due to the institutionalization of feminist ideology within the legal system – along with the political correctness that pervades our society – a lot of men have been defamed, imprisoned and/or fined due to the false accusations that were made against them by women.  For this reason, a lot of Divorce lawyers encourage their female clients to falsely accuse their husbands of rape, child abuse and/or domestic violence.” – Aaron Larsen

We have systematically refused to consider the possibility that women lie. We have even attacked those who wanted to discuss the possibility. Law professor Alan Dershowitz reports that he was accused of sexual harassment for discussing in his law class the possibility of false rape allegations. Some colleges with speech codes have equated talk of false rape allegations with “discriminatory harassment.”

Why would women lie?

Why wouldn’t women lie? They lie to protect themselves, to alleviate guilt, or because they are delusional. They lie because they can. For all the reasons that people lie, women lie.

“Empirical evidence does not support the widespread belief that women are extremely unlikely to make false accusations of male sexual misconduct. Rather the research on accusations of rape, sexual harassment, incest and child sexual abuse indicates that false accusations have become a serious problem. The motivations involved in making a false report are widely varied and include confusion, outside influence from therapists and others, habitual lying, advantages in custody, disputes, financial gain and the political ideology of radical feminism.” – Frank S. Zepezauer

But there is another reason women lie about rape. Rape is a deeply personal crime. Some women even harbor rape fantasies. Falsely accusing a man of rape can be deeply satisfying because it is sexual and even romantic. And it cuts to the heart of a male/female relationship. In his paper, Patients Who Make False Accusations, Dr. Richard C. W. Hall cites a particular case in which:

“We talked to a young borderline woman, who reported that she had made allegations to her county medical society that her psychiatrist had been sexually inappropriate with her. She reported that she was angry at him, that he had not given her the attention that she wanted, and that she made up the charges to get even. Although she candidly reported that he had never touched her, she said that she ‘was sure that he wanted to.’”

I have watched my son for 40 years. I have watched him grow from boy to man. I have seen him in his interactions with women and men. I have marveled at his sensitivity, his empathy. Many times I have thought, “Wow, he is a feminist’s dream. A man who listens. Who cares. Who is strong and deeply spiritual. A man who can be a woman’s friend. Who can comfort another in time of need. He is truly a good and decent man.

But if you would discount the word of a mother, what about all the women in his life? The girlfriend that has known him since high school to his most recent girlfriend? All have come forward on his behalf. All have remained his steadfast friend even after their romantic relationship ended.

And what of the word of their parents who have come forward? Including two psychotherapists who work with battered women. What of the casual dating partners and friends from far and wide, both male and female who have all come forward on his behalf? They too have spoken out for him. This man is not capable of doing this thing.

Never have I been to visit him that someone did not congratulate me on raising such a fine man.

Our good men are being harmed. This good man is being harmed.

“Due to immense pressure from rabid feminists, the state was placed in the position of convicting as many accused rapists as possible, or face an onslaught of abuse from second-wave-feminists….” – Aaron Larsen

The current climate in Colorado appears to be: Try them all. Let God sort them out. I have been told that there are political reasons for that. Reasons that have nothing to do with the validity of a particular case but with the fear of an attack by an opponent in an election. The District Attorney is an elected official. But doesn’t the state have better things to do than try meritless cases? Isn’t there a voice of reason somewhere?

Dr. Richard C. W. Hall in his paper, Patients Who Make False Allegations, The Role of the Forensic Psychiatrist, has created a checklist for the evaluation of patients’ allegations. It follows:

1)    Is accuser creditable?

2)    Is story consistent and believable?

3)    Is there a motive for revenge or mischief?

4)    Have other allegations been made previously?  Does a pattern of allegations exist?

5)    Has the patient been counseled in their charges by some professional who has a vested interest?

6)    Is there any physical evidence of misdeed?

7)    What is the reputation of the accused?

8)    How does the accused respond to the charges?

9)    Are there issues of custody, property settlement, divorce, or suit involved?

10) Is there a history of personality disorder – antisocial, narcissistic, borderline – in either party?

11) Is there a history of alcohol or substance abuse in either party?

If the state were to apply this or any reasonable checklist to the allegations against my son, this “case” would have gone in the trash bin months ago, we wouldn’t be out thousands of dollars, countless sleepless nights and the feeling that the system simply doesn’t work.

If anyone can accuse a good man of something like this and cause him so much grief, then what has our system become? The terms rape, sexual assault, sexual abuse have become so ubiquitous as to be meaningless (although still very much emotionally charged).  We have cast such a wide net that laws and statutes that were devised to protect us from the worst of the worst, the serial rapists, sexual predators and pedophiles are now being used to punish men who urinate near school yards or a boyfriend who takes the arm of his inebriated girlfriend to get her out of a party.

An article titled Feminists Fallacies Hurt Police Training states:

“If every incident between a man and a woman can be framed as a prelude to an atrocity, then all men can be branded as predators. The error in logic, that all men are potential rapists, allows feminists to link attitudes and behaviors for which there is NO connection and allows them to condemn the mild-mannered man given to the occasional caustic comment to sharing an axis with O.J. Simpson.”

That is not to say that there are not terrible crimes committed against women and children every day. According to Believe Her! The Woman Never Lies Myth, Frank Zepezauer says:

“This growing gap – between the  anguish suffered by the victims of traditionally defined sex crimes and what is suffered by victims of ideologically defined crimes – suggests that the crisis we face is not the result of a sexual misconduct epidemic but of the crisis mentality itself, an ever more hysterical vision of a ‘rape culture.’”

This hysterical crisis mentality has created a gap between our awareness of the now highly visible victims of sexual misconduct and the almost invisible victims of false allegation. The lesser known victims have their own stories to tell, enough to reveal another long ignored injustice that demands remediation. False allegations of sexual misconduct have deprived a rapidly growing number of men and women of their reputations, their fortunes, their children, their livelihood and their freedom. Wasting the time and money of families and communities, and have left some so desperate that they have taken their own lives.

Zepezauer concludes:

“For that reason, in the current revision of our sexual misconduct code, we must retain as a guiding premise the realization that women can lie because we know that, for several reasons, more than a few women have lied, more often than idealogues have admitted….too often, in any event, to be ignored by our jurisprudence, feminist or otherwise.”

It’s time that we admitted what is right in front of us. Not every woman tells the truth and not every man is a potential rapist.

Please someone, tell the State of Colorado.

~

Sources used in this article:

MND, mensnewsdaily.com, “During My Time as a Prosecutor I was Amazed to See all the False Rape Allegations that Were Made.”

North Shore News, Alana Mercer, “Feminist Fallacies Hurt Police Training?

Men’s Rights Online, Aaron Larsen, “False Accusation Issues”

Dr. Richard C. W. Hall Publications, Dr. Richard C. W. Hall, “Patients Who Make False Allegations”

Salon Newsreel, Cathy Young, Who Says WomenNever Lie About Rape?”

FoxNews.com, Wendy McElroy, “False Rape Accusations May Be More Common Than Thought”

IPT Journal, Frank S. Zepezauer, “Believe Her! The Woman Never Lies Myth”

Richardwebster.net, Richard Webster, “False Allegations: End This Cruel Injustice”

AND

The Witchcraft Trials in Salem:  A Commentary by Douglas Linder

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311 Responses to ““Women don’t Lie.” ~ Anonymous”

  1. [...] most hateful comments I’ve ever read have been right here on elephant. Oh say, here, here and here. Well I’m gonna call bulls%^t on all of that right [...]

  2. Robert says:

    Fabulous article!

  3. carlos says:

    All benefits aside: The creation of and funding of the creation of feminism was backed by the Rockefellers (globalists) ,. through the CIA for the purposes of 1. doubling the tax base 2. splitting up the family to get kids to identify with "The State"

    we are kept in the dark…….about so many things.

  4. 33mike says:

    Where's spell-check when you need it?

  5. [...] right for ourselves, and at the same time trying to spare the other unnecessary pain. It meant some lying by omission. That wasn’t the yoga talking. That was the fear and we both had [...]

  6. [...] I think it is important to note that she did all of this as a woman. [...]

  7. Nancy says:

    I don't think I've ever seen such scurrilous claims about feminists or such hostile comments about feminism this side of the Free Republic discussion boards. Someone sent me a link to a different article on this site that I thought was good, but clearly the hatred and hostility of feminism makes this a site I will not visit again.

  8. Nicole says:

    It is very, very sad to see all of the cynicism, bitterness, and vitriol here. I understand that many of you have had terrible experiences. But does it help you or anyone to spew this hatred and disgust all over the comments page?

  9. Robert says:

    There is in this article, and responses, some unfortunate truths. However, sliding down and into the pits of I told you so and you made your bed so lay in it does not address the dilemma. Because, the problem(s) of power and survival are not external to any of us but are instead part of the social structure we have all co created. In other words, regardless of fault, or whether the chicken came first or the egg there exists elements within every individual that are capable of being drawn upon that are not in the best interest of the human we can be as opposed to the animals we came from. Accepting and understanding that there are methods of physical and emotional control we have made available to ourselves over eons of evolution in order to survive is not easy.

    We have all, to put it bluntly, left some pretty and not so endearing scars on one another, yet as this article has so bravely spoken out for, we can be better and do better for ourself. Does this mean there will not remain those who are confused, possibly ill-fitted and overwhelmed with the goals of pursuing a human nature, of course not, after all, a goose never lays a completely tame egg either. However, this article does suggest that we are beginning to see that if we do truly wish to fly we are going to need more realistic and solid ground from which to soar. And that this road of yesterday's struggles to tomorrow's path of understanding and knowledge will only be crossed when we do so together no matter where we came from.

  10. dee says:

    such a nightmare when an ex girlfriend decides… for revenge;;… to do this to an innocent young man… because he broke off relatiohship.and basks in the attention is tis america???? if u think it cant happen to u like our family think again so easy for some women..and then the male is guilty before proven innocent..such trauma and financial devastation just because she can !!! its all true..change the laws

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    Has anyone had experience with Trazadone?
    I’m currently on Prozac and Mirtazapine, both anti-depressants for symptoms of my depression and borderline personality disorder.
    I’ve wanted to come off Mirtazapine for a while as it has caused a lot of weight gain for me and often makes me hungry and hard to feel full up despite what I eat. The drs at my old surgery were unwilling to change my prescriptions, saying they wanted me to be seen by a psychiatrist. However they wouldnt refer me as I was in the process of moving from a hostel into my own place, so the psychiatrist would be for a different area. Buy Trazodone without prescriptions . I’ve now registered at the surgery where I’ve moved to and my new GP is willing to adjust my meds. She said that once my notes have been transferred she thinks she will put me on Trazadone, as like Mirtazapine it has a sedative effect (I had bad sleep patterns before).
    I realise everyone reacts differently to anti-depressants but would be grateful to hear people’s stories of Trazadone, what the common side effects are etc.
    Thanks :)

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  16. annonymous80 says:

    I left the Canadian Forces because two of my senior shipmates raped me when my ship was deployed in Mexico. There were pictures taken by these two men of what they did to me that night, the camera was confiscated but mysteriously, all the pictures developed funny so you couldn't see anything and in the end were not submitted as evidence. There was a rape-kit taken within hours, before i showered… It mysteriously dissapeared. I didn't even report the incident myself… another ship-mate found me sobbing in the streets and knew what happened because of earlier events leading up to the incident, and in spite of my begging, he went straight to my ships captain and made a formal report. The rest if a very loooooooooong story, but in the end both men were aquitted due to "reasonable doubt" (lack of forenzic evidence ie. rape-kit and pictures), they were both promoted, and I was ordered back to the same ship to work with them again.

    It's still a mans world.

  17. Dan says:

    Sadly, there are still those who prefer justification of their world view over the truth. There are lives at stake here. Rapes happen; punish the guilty, console the victim. Lies happen; seek the truth. Restore the reputation of the falsely accused. Why is this difficult to pursue with equal vigor? Would not you expect the system to work this way on YOUR behalf, if you were personally involved on either side? Getting it mostly right is not adequate. Seek the truth.

  18. OzzieMatt says:

    I feel no sympathy for the author.
    Feminists need to understand and have empathy for the thousands of boys and men whose lives they are destroyed because of effects of out of control feminism. Of course fight for women's rights. But to destroy boys and men in the process is not the same thing. Feminism has lost its way and it took a personal situation for the author to actually get it.
    That is very sad. The human rights of boys and men have been slowly eroded for decades under the ruse of 'women's rights'. Sweet justice that a feminist has a boy whose life was almost ruined by the unfair policies she helped create.

  19. Glennd1 says:

    I guess all I have to say to this woman, if she's still listening is please follow your reasoning to its conclusion. Ask yourself, where did this bias in the legal system come from? Hint, it didn't come from aliens. Rather, it came from political pressure applied by events such as "take back the night" farces that you were apparently part of. It came from rape hysteria generated by false statistics and incredibly hostile attitudes towards masculinity.

    Feminists very intentionally created a pedagogy of "data" and "theory" which leads ineluctably to demanding a tilted the field in the favor of women. These ideas are steeped in the postmodernist and cultural marxist critique, so their support in the academy is far and wide. If this author really wants to take a stand, all I ask is that she go deeper in the root causes and be willing to see it for what it is.

  20. Mako says:

    Your case is very unusual though because of your mother and step-sister turning on you.
    If you would have had their support instead of them actively working against you I'm sure it would have taken much less time.
    The system does want to believe girls/women but if they are doubted by their own mother it makes it a lot harder.
    I'm deeply sorry for what you went through and I hope your mom and step-sister also spent some time in jail.
    I'm a father and I can't imagine what kind of sick person could get on the stand and support their child's molester let alone turn a blind eye to the abuse of their daughter.
    But this woman's story is hardly unique and too many times men are being put away without any evidence because the system is taking non creditable women seriously.
    Also when you are on the stand of course the defense attorney is going to try to pull you apart that's the job it's awful for victims of crime but the only other choice is to not let accused persons face their accuser. (thus making false accusations much easier)
    Unless you are saying the police or your own lawyer didn't believe you or the judge was harsh with you?

  21. diotima says:

    Your loyalty to your son is understandable, but misplaced. All the evidence suggests that women don't make false allegations – haven't you seen the research that brings this truth to light, despite every attempt by the rape culture to suppress it? If your son's ex-girlfriend feels she's been violated or taken advantage of in some way you can be sure there is some basis in fact. Do you presume to deny her experience? Don't you understand she knows whether she had sex or not and whether she consented or not? It is her body, her decision, and for her to say – not for you or your son! Decades of feminist research has established the validity of women's experience and the forces that act to deny that experience, and yet you still haven't got the message! More importantly, by suggesting she is not being truthful you are adding your voice in support to the culture which consistently invalidates women. You should be ashamed of yourself! Even if your son is innocent, he is ineluctably a part of the patriarchal system of power, and you should gladly sacrifice him rather than work against everything women have achieved to get their voices heard. He is guilty whether he intends it, knows it, or likes it or not! Furthermore, the cause is more important than some individual man! Why are you not calling for him to be castrated as an example to other men so they understand that women are no longer powerless? Have you not considered all the rape victims who may be doubted because of your denials? Where are your feelings for them? Where are his feelings, when you say you've brought him up to be empathetic to women? And yet he makes himself an agent of the system that works to undermine them for purely selfish reasons! You evidently haven't brought him up as carefully as you claim! This is what happens when women surrender to men – you have become a mere lackey to your son! Can't you see what he's doing to you – twisting your mind to betray your own sex! He raped her! And even if he didn't, he is part of a system that did! Why are you not testifying against him? Shame on you!!!

  22. guest says:

    My experience with women making false complaints for vindictive ends.

    Decades ago, in the streets of Greenwich Village, I was approached by a loud and aggressive woman. When she got within 2 feet of me, she kept moving towards me. Believing that she was about grab and grope me, my arm shot out to keep her away by a stiff-arm tactic. She immediately began shouting that I was trying to grope her breasts. I looked over her shoulder and saw two men with a hand in their suit jackets starring intently at me. I immediately concluded that she was a hooker hepped up on drugs, and that these men were probably her pimps. I turned on my heels and walked away as fast as I could, ending the incident. I was with a friend, who praised my cool.

    Move forward a few decades. I am having dinner in my sister's house. I see her only 2-3x a decade. I had a lovely 3 hour conversation with her young adult daughter about her choice of career. Soon after my niece goes home, my sister tells me in a hushed growl "one more crack out of you and I'm throwing you out on your ass." I replied "I have no idea what you are talking about." She immediately whipped out her cellphone, rang 911, and reported me to the police as a trespasser. I left promptly, fearing that I would be taken into custody and booked. The police did come promptly but I managed to convince them easily that there was no cause for concern. My sister yelled at the cop "don't pay attention to him. He's the sort that has to have the last word." I will never see my sister again. Because she will be the boss at our mother's funeral, I will not attend that funeral.

    My sister has had psychiatric issues and a troubled life on several margins. If a middle aged woman with a graduate degree notifies the police that there is intruder or unwanted guest in her house, that is something they will take very seriously. No need to go as far as rape.

    I doubt that 45% of rape accusations are false. But even if, say, 5% are, false accusations degrade real victims and poison the whole system.

  23. dave843 says:

    If you hadn't raised your son to be a sucker-ass feminist he probably wouldn't have ended up in this situation to begin with! Now he gets to learn what modern 'empowered' women are really like. BTW where's his father? Oh yeah that doesn't matter right?

  24. Margaret R. Fleming says:

    Maybe a sensitive young person should not get into a sexual relationship with someone he knows to be mentally ill and off of medication for the protection of BOTH of them?

    Can a person be said to give free consent under that circumstance? Do we automatically NOT believe someone with a mental illness on or off their meds? (I think the consensus is that the mentally ill are far more often the victim of a crime than the perpetrator. Which is to make no claim about this particular situation.)

    This sounds like a case for a fair and competent court to decide in my opinion. And, yes, it does ask different questions than this mom is asking. I cannot imagine anything more difficult than being in her position, and my heart goes out to her. Likewise, I hope for justice and wellness for ALL.

    As for the claim that feminism, anybody's fantasy, or the current amount of power women have achieved in our society (Really?) are somehow to blame for rampant false accusations of rape that lead to conviction…..I see nothing in this article (or in our world) that establishes any of this as true. Widely available and commonly accepted statistics on rape from abundant conservative and well respected sources establishes clearly that here in the U.S. approximately 25% of females will experience rape, 90% of those know their accuser as a friend or relative, and less than 2% of these cases will result in any kind of trial. Conviction rates are minuscule. These are facts.

    Any comments on rape that ignore them are simply uninteresting and much more suspect as being about emotion uninformed by wisdom and knowledge than efforts to deal with this reality.

    I am not saying that fair trials are not necessary. If the author or any of those commenting on this article think that we should stay a culture that mistrusts the report of women automatically and routinely (as is currently typical in cases of acquaintance rape, especially, which accounts for the vast majority of rapes), they are those who would deny the public access to fair trials. That, I'm afraid, is the status quo.

  25. MyExperience says:

    My experience with female lies started early, when i was 8 i had a child arguement with a 11 year old neighbor. She started throwing an iron lock on me, i kicked her leg. She went to her father and told that i had broken her arm, her father ran in my direction shouting threats. I ran faster and closed my door, he punched the door repeatdly saying he was going to kill me. Later on he said he was going to have my name permanently filed on the police. Needless to say at that age i was confused and scared.

    A couple years later, her friend and also my neighbor knocked on the door and told my mother that she had her arm hurt prior and used it against me. Apparently, she was boasting about it to her.

    Needless to say, this “small” lie could have had serious consequences and it certainly put a negative mark on my childhood. It changed my behaviour, i was so naive before i could not believe she would lie about something like this.

  26. Matt says:

    It has taken you far too long to come to this realization. Imagine the damage you have been doing to innocent males in the name of your rabid feminism. What is apparently to you and a lot of other females a shocking revelation, is as simple as 1+1=2 to the vast majority of males.

  27. Rafique says:

    'Feminism' will eat the same gender it works towards!!! one day!!!
    Feminists should work on Gender Equality instead of special rights for women, as it will increase the gap between the genders, so immense that it will damage the world women share with men, beyond the good that Feminists try to create.

  28. Brian Macker says:

    Plus individual women can make multiple charges.

    Also a woman can believe she was raped when she wasn't, for example getting drunk with a man, consenting (to a drunk man), and having sex, then assuming that was a rape because she was not able to "give consent" when inebriated. Guess what, neither could the man. Of course, this PC thinking never was about thoughtful reasoning.

  29. LeeReynolds says:

    I appreciate what you have written, but you've made a mistake in claiming that your statement was not offensive.

    Anything can be “offensive” to anyone at any time and for any reason, including no reason at all. It is an argument that has absolutely no rigor attached to it. One that can be made without anything to substantiate it. This is why it is a favorite the left. Anyone can claim to be “offended” when presented with facts they cannot refute. Leftists love to shift the rules of evidence from the real to the subjective when they have a losing argument (and they cannot lie outright). Claiming to be "offended" is merely the easiest way for them to do so. Another favorite is to accuse the person of "racism" or something else equally vague and unprovable. They are deceitful by nature and have many ready lies at their command.

    When you claim that your statement was not offensive, you fall for the con, even as you attempt to argue against it. There is no objective standard by which something can be called offensive, and even if there were it is irrelevant. A statement must be judged by its factual merits, not by the subjective emotional response it elicits from someone (or which they pretend it elicits in order to manipulate you into being silent).

  30. elephantjournal says:

    Agree with you up until the last line. There was a lot of courage and deeply considered thought that went into what you (and I) love to casually, derisively call "PC thinking." It's just a matter of balance, no? ~ W.

  31. Bob says:

    Elephantjournal, I call shenanigans. There was no courage and no deeply considered thought that went into it. There were only shrieking feminist harpies doing what they do best and gutless politicians and law enforcement types proving their cowardice.

  32. Deoxy says:

    "There was a lot of courage and deeply considered thought that went into what you (and I) love to casually, derisively call "PC thinking.""

    Deeply considered thought? Sure – they deeply considered how best to get their way in as many things as possible, preferably screwing their enemies as much as possible in the process. That's what the vast majority of it is.

  33. Karma says:

    Exactly. No woman gives a s**t about the countless boys and men who get cut to ribbons by our man-hating society, until it affects them personally.

    Thankfully, men are waking up and women had better hope we treat them better than they've treated us the last 40 years.

  34. atlas says:

    so true

  35. hmLewis says:

    The vast majority of women never make false claims, so this silver bullet you speak of is rather ridiculous.

  36. guest says:

    I hate to say this, but, the question that comes to my mind, is that now, that the original author has had this land on her doorstep, will she show the same tireless dedication to punish those that falsely accuse (specifically to done maliciously)? Or will she just "go back to sleep" once this problem is resolved?(if it ever is)
    My other question is, if this had not landed on her doorstep (via her son's "friend"), would she have even bothered to realize there was a problem?
    .

  37. Scott Robinson YesuDas says:

    For Christ's sake, JustMe, at least have the decency to read the article first!

  38. TheIncredibleMoose says:

    Precisely my problem with her.

  39. atlas says:

    meintoo wrote of the feminist's silver bullet nether stating anything about the majority. the comment of yours is ridiculous.

  40. LeeReynolds says:

    Legitimate criticism is not "hatred of women."

    No one cares what you've got between your legs.

  41. Paul says:

    Laura, we are talking about people who have been falsely accused of rape- not rapists. We are talking about people who have falsely accused others of rape- not rape victims.

    It's people like you who make it hard for victims to come forward. You are the ones who make it easy for false accusations to happen, thus making it harder for real victims to find justice.

    The little boy can only cry wolf so many times, before the villagers refuse to listen.

  42. C.K. says:

    Has it never occurred to you that the cops put a stop to a false accusation before it goes any further ? That perhaps the D.A. recognizes a false accusation when he or she sees one ? That perhaps juries know a liar when they see one ?

    Just think for a moment : Maybe the reason that you erroneously believe that so few "rapes" are punished is because there are a lot more false accusations than you want to believe.

  43. Twirlip says:

    “my job was really fascinating because it put me at odds with my own stances”

    Well, Jillian, at least you admit you are biased. But admitting it does not make it go away. What would you think of an admitted white-supremacist being a investigator on black crime?

    The article above cites FBI and police data to make the case that “women lie” about rape. You counter by citing the group “End Violence Against Women International”, which is the source of the figures you offer. Frankly, I work on the assumption that the “research” of all such special interest groups is false until proven true.

    If you have any more credible sources of data I’d be interested in seeing them.

  44. Kratch says:

    Problem with that is that illegal recordings are generally inadmissible as evidence. All you get out of that is a second charge (possibly even a second sex charge IE making a sex tape without consent)

  45. Kratch says:

    Boys are more likely than ever to drop out of school and engage in delinquency and other problems.

    Of which suicide is a significant problem. I believe that states suggest that for every 100 girls who commit suicide in that age range, over 500 boys will also take their lives. And yet, you will never see a call to investigate why. You may see calls to look into suicide in general, worst yet, calls to look into only female suicide, but never for the boys. Are children's lives really worth so little if they are male?

  46. Kratch says:

    Things have gotten worst, as now a mere accusation can get you ejected from school permanently, even if the accusation is later rescinded. At least, in the US. You can thank Biden for that.

  47. Kratch says:

    Because feminists have spent several decades telling them they won't be believed and that their attacker will walk free anyways. With that kind of fear mongering coming from such a "trusted" source (after all, feminists couldn't possibly do anything to hurt women), would you be willing to come forward?

  48. Scott Robinson YesuDas says:

    How about organizing a march, Another Fellow?

  49. Scott Robinson YesuDas says:

    Well said, Lauren.

  50. Kratch says:

    "and all I can say is: This Too Shall Pass."

    Will it? the scare to her son will last for a long long time, assuming he has the strength to endure and keep living. The guilt the mother will endure, and the destruction to her personal friendships as colleagues abandon and turn on her, and disruption to her life if she choose to pursue the truth as a new cause, will forever change her life.

    "this too shall pass". Is this what you tell to rape victims?

  51. Scott Robinson YesuDas says:

    Is this a joke, Roosh? Or are you seriously throwing the rule of law under the bus?

  52. Kratch says:

    Sexual consent forms are pointless. Consent can be withdrawn at any time, including mid coitus. And women like Mary Kellett will have no problems prosecuting men based on the accusation consent was withdrawn and the man didn't stop.

  53. elephantjournal says:

    Good, god people…how could you thumb down the above comment asking for mindful commenting!? ~ Waylon

  54. Reap what you sow says:

    "You helped make this problem, your son is paying for it."

    You may not like to hear it, you may find it too harsh, but it's true.

    There is quite poetic justice in the events, assuming they are being reported accurately.

  55. KratchO says:

    It was written by a personal friend of Waylon Lewis, ed..As such, base it's credibility (for you) based on them.

    As to being insulting to those that use their real name… I see no last name Tamara. Waylon Lewis included his full name. As did I in my post bellow.

  56. Kratch says:

    "Only recently have we begun to punish some women for making false allegations but we do so not because she ruined a man's life but because we want to discourage other false accusers from somehow making it "harder for women to come forward.""

    Actually, the punishment is usually due to the amount of time, money and manpower that got wasted in the investigation. The harm done to the man is never even considered.

  57. Roosh says:

    Male genocide is a very intriguing idea. I never thought of that as an idea to eliminate rape once and for all. How feasible do you think this is in the next 10 years?

    No men = no rape

    I like how that sounds. Finally, a rape-free world where women can walk around like hookers and not be treated like one.

  58. GUY says:

    Also not religious so i would not know.

    But no what she is doing is bitching on how HER son would not do such things. what makes her son so special? women lie about this shit everyday why is she not talking about the rest of the men being lied on? men that because of this bullshit she believes and fights for are getting raped in jail for.Took her son being called a rapist for her to even think about the things she strongly fights for. Women wake up most of these feminist are lesbians who hate men and if you aren't that,wants kids marriage etc stop this bullshit! You cant have your cake and eat it too.

  59. Scott Robinson YesuDas says:

    Your integrity is impressive, Moose; I don't think many of us would be able to accept such an outcome so stoically.

    No, I'm not referring to a burden of proof–I have argued, elsewhere in these comments, in defense of the burden of proof, in response to a comment that said (incredibly) that a man must prove he did *not* rape a woman, and that a few innocent men going to jail is OK. Appalling.

    What I am referring to is the entrenched "blame the victim" mentality that 1) is very real (I've seen it in action) and 2) is, it seems to me, what enabled the feminist backlash, with its "all men are potential rapists" mentality, to gain strength in the first place.

  60. Another Fellow says:

    Are you serious?

  61. Kratch says:

    Actually, she makes note of how other men are also suffering from this problem. Might want to read the article again

  62. Kratch says:

    I most certainly am nether a woman, nor a mangina, and I tend to agree with Better. Sure, it's possible you are right, but from what I read in the article, she started researching and found just how damaging this can be. She makes references threw-out her article to men in general, not just her son, and she should not be denied the chance to redeem herself just because you and guy have some hate-on, some inability to allow for redemption, as if you have never once done anything you later came to regret, even if that realization only came for selfish reasons.

  63. betterdeal says:

    Oh, get you and your name-calling. What next? Handbags at dawn? Hissy fits and SHOUTING are not going to persuade me of anything other than, you're a bit upset about something.

  64. TheIncredibleMoose says:

    You support an ideology that advocates:

    1. Killing children (post 3 months pregnancy) on a whim
    2. Divorcing your husband for no reason and taking half his pay and his assets completely unearned
    3. Telling ALL men thay are rapists waiting to happen
    4. Lobbying politicians until it becomes legally fine and dandy for everything that comes out of your mouth to be gold, and everything that comes out of any man's mouth that has the audacity to contradict you perjury
    5. Insisting that 9 months of pregnancy is more of a hardship than 18 years of financial slavery and thus any decision regarding opting out (early term – first feew weeks) is yours and yours alone

    And you don't expect people to get upset? The French Revolution started over less.

  65. LeoVirgomale says:

    Lisa, civil rights for African-Americans and other nonwhites attributed to their BIOLOGICAL RACE, and sexual orientation minorities attributed to their ATTRACTION TO THE SAME SEX, have legs to stand on. Feminism, especially when espoused by white females, does NOT because "male power" and "male privilege" are myths and "male responsibility" is a REALITY.
    Most men in the colonial era DID NOT have the right to vote as they were either enslaved, Native Americans denied the franchise, or they did not own property. Widespread franchise only became the law of the land in 1971 when eighteen-year-olds could vote. Men have been dying on the battlefields of history for time immemorial but feminists are not advocating all-female selective service registration. S
    ounds like intellectual laziness, and coming from a librarian, albeit a children's librarian, I would expect a lot better. BTW, who do you single out for punishment more at your library, girls or boys? The latter, right?

  66. Fidelbogen says:

    Lisa: "Misogynist" is a cheap, ignorant feminist smear word. I will thank you not to use it.

    Furthermore, you should understand that feminism itself is directly responsible for fostering the social conditions that make the growth of so-called "misogyny" a foregone conclusion.

    And every time you throw the word "misogyny" around with ZERO CRITICAL AWARENESS of all this, you too are guilty of fostering the said growth.

    Words to the wise.

  67. LeoVirgomale says:

    Yeah, Kratch, like I really throw large numbers of females in jail for long periods of time, all of whom have little ability in trial to defend themselves against spurious accusations from members of the opposite sex. Redemption for this anonymous cunt who won't even reveal her name because she knows the lynch mob that would come for her is not going to happen. There is no point in playing nice with a feminazi.

  68. HMLewis says:

    Men make false accusations about women abusing children too.

  69. Eris says:

    I cannot understand that there are people who give a thumbs up to somebody who hopes a man will get raped in prison so his mother will suffer. I'll hope you all find some compassion soon.

  70. jillian says:

    wow, you've done an excellent job reading into my remarks intentions that were never there. what's my own personal agenda? the only personal anecdote i offered was that i have actually witnessed a trial in which a man was falsely accused of rape. in what part of any of my writing did i "champion to ensure every guilty woman remains free"? and your comment about my statistics is completely misguided: i myself was the one who offered 25% as the arrest rate. YOU responded that "someone else above said it was 50.8%" my response was to clarify that the 50.8% statistic was referred to as the conviction rate, NOT the arrest rate, which is what i was discussing. you might want to make sure the person has actually made the mistake you accuse them of making before engaging in the "statistics are so inconsistent!" rhetoric.

  71. Lewie says:

    Arrest and conviction are totally different. Someone must first be arrested before they are prosecuted. The arrest rate is the rate, that after an accusation is made, those people are arrested. Of those, a certain percentage are actually brought to trial (prosecuted), of those prosecuted a certain percentage are actually convicted.

    Being found innocent of a crime, also doesn't make you innocent. Just as being accused doesn't make you guilty either.

  72. Deoxy says:

    Yes, they do… but not nearly as often, for the simple reason that it seldom works. The legal system believes women, often even when they are obviously lying, while it gives no such benefit of the doubt to men. Follow the incentives.

  73. Fidelbogen says:

    "This is not about revenge, it is about justice."

    That is a noble sentiment. Yet I must be honest: revenge (i.e. punishment in one form or another) is quite justified in this case.

  74. Fidelbogen says:

    "The forgiveness, as I said, even of the unpardonable, is what brings peace."

    No justice, no peace.

  75. Mikeinthedirt says:

    I am impressed with your reasoning. If only our schools taught this, the problem being discussed would hardly arise. Thanx.

  76. Jso says:

    you got linked to by some other blogs interested in the story

    it's actually kind of surprising how easily you can find falsely accused men, just in a comments section of a blog post

  77. elephantjournal says:

    I responded to Tamara, a friend, personally. This article is about a friend, by his mother, whom I've never met, but we've emailed throughout this process. That this article is about a friend who I do know to be decent in no way tells me whether or not he's innocent, or there's some gray area.

    The point of publishing this was not to determine his innocence, of course—but rather to explore whether or not he is getting a fair trial; innocent before being proven guilty. If the testimony of every one of his ex-girlfriends isn't even counted, I can't see how this is a fair case.

    Respectful dialogue about such painful issues is vital. Vitriolic rhetoric is too easy, and not helpful to either "side". ~ Waylon Lewis

  78. elephantjournal says:

    Well, we almost never publish anything under anonymous…I can't think of any other article in which I've agreed to "anonymous" as a byline. Well, maybe one or two over 3 years' time.

    But in this case, I know the woman's name and the young man in question, and it was established in my view that they were taking responsibility for their words—but that because the story was currently in court they could not use their names. ~ W.

  79. Kratch says:

    Feminism usurped and built the DV industry by lying about perpetration and victimization. They have identified DV as a male perpetrator, female victimizer phenomena, and that's a lie. They make insistences that prosecuting false accusers would only make things more difficult to true victims, while then using those false accusers as statics to show not enough is done about rape, in order to scare people into funding them… but, as a side effect, also scare true victims into not coming forward out of fear of not being taken seriously. Feminist DV and rape industries (and they are feminist industries) do, indeed, perpetuate and protect false accusers by calling for them not to be held to task. And as a participant of both industries, the author is in a position to know just how much. The dismissal of both her and her son throughout the comments section by feminists and activists only goes to demonstrate the fact, that much more.

  80. Reap what you sow says:

    Here's a doctor on the receiving end of a false accusation.
    http://www.pulitzer.org/archives/6414

    It ruined his career, and his life.

  81. Kratch says:

    Waylon has already explained that she is not allowed to discuss the case for legal reasons.

  82. Kratch says:

    Then you are as much a part of the problem. As you are as dedicated and unwavering in your hatred as you claim she is in hers.

  83. vanessafiola says:

    Hi Reap,

    I am not making an emotional plea, nor am I interested in debating the veracity of the comments.

    My points were simply that: 1) anonymous commenting is a great way to absolve oneself from social responsibility; 2) confusing anecdotal experience for universal truth is short-sighted; and 3) even if you ignore 1 and 2, we are on Elephant Journal, a website billed as a forum for the mindful community. Pausing to figure out if what we want to type either elevates or contributes constructively to a discussion seems like the least we can do. Well, that and buying an EJ subscription. :-)

    Vanessa

  84. LSBeene says:

    Wow – and once AGAIN HMLewis misses the other side of the coin. Yes, some recant because they can't go through with it.

    And some men plead guilty to avoid decades in jail.

    Kinda missed your radar screen huh? But that would require of you empathy for the true victim of a false accusation : the man falsely accused.

    Never occured to you – did it?

  85. LSBeene says:

    Tell me these posts are a joke …. this has GOT to be a joke.

    A royal aristocracy of actions with impunity is being proposed.

  86. Dan says:

    I know these are a joke but I did have a thought about what you were saying with male genocide equals no rape, which CLEARLY would not be the case. Feminists conveniently don't touch lesbian rape/sexual assault/abuse because it doesn't fit the story of all men are rapists and only men can commit rape because it is somehow inherent in their nature.

    They also skip over homosexual (including lesbian obviously) domestic violence statistics when they go on about how all men are abusers and batterers, etc. In fact, domestic violence in homosexual relationships has a higher prevalence and are often more violent.

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