You might be a hooker (or a yoga teacher) if… ~ Bart Shuler & Bret Alexander

Via on Aug 30, 2011

 Originally published on Recovering Yogi on August 19, 2011. 

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You might be a hooker (or a yoga teacher) if… 

By Bart Shuler and Bret Alexander

  1. You work barefooted
  2. You go to work and say things like, “downward, dog” and “lie on the floor, hands by your side” and “$125 an hour”
  3. You give a cut of your earnings to the proprietor of your working space
  4. You measure success by the number of clients you can work with in a day
  5. You have a group rate
  6. You consider flexibility an occupational talent
  7. You have regulars that come back for their fix each week
  8. Your clients always leave sweaty… and satisfied
  9. You carry the tools of your trade under a single arm
  10. You can touch, but no kissing

About the writers

Bret Alexander is an amateur (but really very good) karaoke artist who splits his time between his home in Los Angeles and his job in NYC. When he is not serenading ladies to the lyrics of Lionel Ritchie, he can be found tracking down the best steak in a 30-mile radius.


Bart Shuler lives in Santa Monica, CA, where yoga studios outnumber the homeless. In his free time you can find him watching every movie ever made and then quoting the lines back to you, or supporting his Midwest heritage by wearing a cheesehead and cheering on the Green Bay Packers.


 

About Recovering Yogi

Far from the land of meaningless manifestation, vacuous positivity, and boring yoga speak lives Recovering Yogi, the voice of the pop spirituality counterculture and an irreverent forum where yogis, ex-yogis, never-yogis, writers, and readers converge to burst the bubble of sanctimonious rhetoric. We are critical thinkers and people who just love to laugh. Visit us on our web site for some straight talk, join the discussion on Facebook or Twitter, or buy a t-shirt and support our mission.

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9 Responses to “You might be a hooker (or a yoga teacher) if… ~ Bart Shuler & Bret Alexander”

  1. Vero Barnes says:

    Ha ha ha ! I like it !

  2. Tanya Lee Markul says:

    Just posted to "Featured Today" on the Elephant Yoga homepage.

  3. Tanya Lee Markul says:

    The title of this alone is hilarious!

    Posting to Elephant Yoga on Facebook and Twitter.

    Tanya Lee Markul, Yoga Editor
    Join us! Like Elephant Yoga on Facebook
    Follow on Twitter

  4. Lyra says:

    who the hell is making $125 an hour teaching yoga, other than yoga celebs, and what is their secret?

  5. Rana Ortan says:

    That is awesome and so brilliant ! By the way I am also wondering who is making 125 an hour ?

  6. Tanya Lee Markul says:

    Just posted to "Popular Lately" on the Elephant Yoga homepage.

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