If I Said You Had a Nice Body, Would You Hold it Against Me?

Via Kate Bartolotta
on Jun 11, 2012
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Pick-up lines are cheesy.

Want to start a conversation with someone and you don’t know how?

It’s simple.

1. Say hello.

2. Follow it up with your name and something relevant to the current situation and non-cliched.

(Please don’t resort to the weather. I have a theory about talking about the weather. There are two types of people: people who complain no matter what the weather is and people who love the weather no matter what it is. If you fall into the first category and start a conversation with me about the weather, you might note that I am nodding but my eyes have glazed over and I’m plotting my escape).

3. Do that amazing magical thing that your mom has been telling you to do since you were seven:

Be yourself.

But if that seems too daunting, you could always do like this guy and resort to song lyrics:

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Relephant, hilarious and NSFW bonus:

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About Kate Bartolotta

Kate Bartolotta is a wellness cheerleader, yogini storyteller, and self-care maven. She also writes for Huffington Post, Yoga International, Mantra Yoga+ Health, a beauty full mind, The Good Men Project, The Green Divas, The Body Project, Project Eve, Thought Catalog and Soulseeds. Kate's books are now available on Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble.com. She is passionate about helping people fall in love with their lives. You can connect with Kate on Facebook and Instagram.


14 Responses to “If I Said You Had a Nice Body, Would You Hold it Against Me?”

  1. Eric says:

    Kate~Blink 182 lyrics don't work well, or perhaps it was his delivery?

    Maybe he would have fared better with Led Zeppelin or The Rolling Stones:
    Zep~ "Hi!! Squeeze my lemon til the juice runs down my leg? (I go well with vodka and tonic)".
    Zep~ "Hey-hey mama said the way you move, gonna make you sweat, gonna make you groove!!" (maybe it sounds better in Swedish: Hej-hej mamma sa att vägen som du flyttar, gonna orsakar att du svettas, gör gonna dig spår!!)".
    Stones~ "Well, we all need someone we can cream on. If you wanna, you can cream on me." (unless you work on a dairy farm or in the porn industry, cuz then it would be like…boring)".

    I found the girl in the 2nd video annoying and I feel sorry for her dog.
    One velvet morning, she will wake up next to Tucker Max and think, "I have arrived, muthafckas".

  2. yogasamurai says:

    Kate, you're just stating your own preference! Which is sweet – and entirely cool. But none of that works with most women. Zilch. For one thing, you're assuming that most women are looking for something real!! Too much down to earth sincerity can strike a discordant note, suggesting some need for reciprocity, and that prospect is often extremely disconcerting to the modern urban female. It can even be viewed as an intrusion. Better just to make her laugh, gently compliment her on an element of her dress, and make sure you show her your bling. Did you hear about that big tornado in Iowa?

  3. Eric says:

    "Maybe I just know a lot of weirdos" ~Kate, I resemble that comment. And I don't remember meeting you :)

  4. […] but it seemed all at once there were three eligible men swarming around. I live in NYC and yes—dating is a scene. Also a friend from childhood who I hadn’t heard from in four years now works for a dating service […]

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