32 Truths Every Adult Should Know.

Via on Aug 28, 2012

Can I get an amen?

Okay, it’s silly, but put a number in the title and words like “should” and “must” and we just have to know what’s on the list. We steel ourselves to disagree with what was included or left out. We wonder what magical thing will we learn this time, when usually, magazine and internet lists are the same old thing over and over.

But this time? I’ll bet you laughed or nodded (except maybe to #30).

So let’s all agree:

There is no magical list of eight new ab moves coming out next month.

The top five amazing foods that fight aging are all fruits and vegetables so just eat more fruits and vegetables already.

The 10 things you can do that are going to make your life more wonderful?

The first one isn’t engaging in comment wars on the internet. It probably has more to do with letting go of anger. Or being grateful. Or being compassionate to yourself and others. Or realizing that all of this isn’t something to take seriously—so let’s laugh.

Let’s all laugh for a few minutes, forget all our grown-up worries and go out and look at the stars.

I guarantee you’ll feel better.

 

Relephant Reading:

15 Ways to Stay Human.

28 Ways to be Kinder, Gentler & More Compassionate.

 

Like elephant journal on Facebook.

About Kate Bartolotta

Kate Bartolotta is the strongest girl in the world. She is the love child of a pirate and a roller derby queen. She hails from the second star to the right. Her love of words is boundless, but she knows that many of life’s best moments are completely untranslatable. When she is not writing, you may find her practicing yoga, devouring a book, playing with her children, planting dandelions, or dancing barefoot with her heart on her sleeve. She is madly in love with life and does not know how this story ends; she’s making it up as she goes. Kate is the owner and editor-in-chief of Be You Media Group. She also writes for The Huffington Post, elephant journal, The Good Men Project, The Green Divas, Yoganonymous, The Body Project, Project Eve, Thought Catalog and Soulseeds. She facilitates writing workshops and retreats throughout North America. Heart Medicine, Kate's book on writing, is now available on Amazon.com You can follow Kate on Facebook and Twitter

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74 Responses to “32 Truths Every Adult Should Know.”

  1. outlanderfan says:

    Yep, I was laughing & nodding with most of them! Must share…

  2. Debbie E. says:

    I laughed until my stomach hurt on this one!!! Thanks and thanks again for this!!!

  3. perfect b4 bed reminder that life is a ride. THanks kate!

  4. Hilarious! Thanks Kate! I'll share this one up fo sho.

  5. randolphr says:

    Inarguable wisdom, top to bottom !

  6. melissa says:

    looked at the stars. thank you.

  7. Jade Doherty says:

    I was happily agreeing and laughing along until I realised “MY GOD! This means I’m an adult!”

  8. epyogamag says:

    Oh gosh! That was awesome! Great way to perk me up at the start of work!! Thank you. :)

  9. bikesandmath says:

    It's always nice to realize you're not the only one who thinks about these things!!! :)

  10. Barbara G says:

    So many of these were fun to laugh at but not number 30 about hating bicyclists. There is a great deal of road rage against bicyclists that must stop. No 30 perpetuates this hatred which can lead to people seriously hurt or dead. Yes there are bicyclists who don’t ride properly but same goes with pedestrians and drivers. But always the one with the car ‘wins’.

    • TonyVito says:

      I don't understand why motorists get inpatient with pedestrians and bicyclists… Even driving 30-40-50 miles per hour, you're going to arrive at your destination in good time. Biking and walking, is such a slow comparison to a car. Motorists need to understand that the pedestrian and cyclists are the right of way in every situation. If you have to wait, suck it up and just WAIT. Would you rather have an injured pedestrian laying in the road, with your only explanation: Well I wanted to get to Carvel and get my ice cream… I'm sorry he has a broken hip and is now on his deathbed, but I was hungry?

  11. Edward Staskus says:

    25 was my favorite!

  12. Kevin says:

    Cursive — making literacy and the everyday beautiful and personal. We should all look through a Victorian era "sentiment" book (their version of a yearbook) and marvel at the beauty. Oh, and great post, hilarious. :)

  13. Karen Hanegan says:

    Loved it, but I agree with Barbara about the bicyclists. They really do have it tough enough already.

    Agree totally with your comment as to how to make one’s life better. Have you ever noticed that those great people who have “gotten it” are laughing all the time – e.g., the Dahli Lama, Archbishop Desmond Tutu? Think of all they’ve gone through, yet they’ve let go of anger, etc.!

    A great post.

  14. Kate S. says:

    Superb!

  15. ann says:

    love love love this one! especially what you wrote at the end…guess i'm far from alone!

  16. livetstrae says:

    Love it SOOOO much – so funny!!!!!!!!!! Thanks

  17. @edemarco says:

    months ago I printed this list from an email I received from a friend. I posted it on FB with the caption, Can I get a amen. Odd to this this then appear here credited to another author. This list is old, and the last truth is missing, which was the point of the whole list, I am assuming she left it off because she worried it worried be offensive to men, but to repost a viral chain email as her own is plagerism. She did not come up with this list…..and here is the last truth missing:_The first testicular guard, the “Cup” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.__…………….Quit Laughing!

    • Wow! Actually, I didn't post it as my own at all…the photo/infographic is linked to its source. Interesting to learn that it was a viral chain email. Does anyone claim authorship of those things? I'd love to know where it came from originally & would be happy to credit if it originated elsewhere.

      • @edemarco says:

        I do not know who if anyone claims to be the author…I got it forwarded to me from a friend who received it from a friend. Good question about who ever claims authorship of the chain emails.

      • shlomo78 says:

        Aaron Karo wrote it. Of course you could have found that out if you did 5 seconds of work.

  18. catholicuniform says:

    I love to ride my bike. But I have to agree with #30. I am afraid of them, especially the hardcore ones that fly out of nowhere because they are feeling so very awesomely fit and fast.

  19. Mamta Singh says:

    Just too good. I read it and was in splits..my husband got curious and he's grinning:) Thank you for sharing this.

  20. jaimehall says:

    I laughed until my stomach hurt on this one!!! Thanks and thanks again for this!!!
    Homeprotec gevelrenovatie en andere gevelwerken zoals schilderwerken, gevelreiniging, voegwerken en meer.

  21. mark says:

    Cursive was always seen as a right of passage. Ooo, next year we learn to write in cursive. And like many rites of passage, it was dumb. And still is demanded by those parents wanting it taught to their children when "kids really learned things in school". Right. Dumb then, dumber now. Now if we learned in cursive, perhaps there could be a reasonable discussion…

    • koice loman says:

      As a professor who has to give in class exam then go home and struggle to read what the students wrote I'm all for anything that will have them practice writing even if it is a "right of passage". The handwriting of stydents today look like they are writing with their feet and that's the good ones.

  22. Brooke says:

    Amen! lol

  23. redthread21 says:

    you were right about 30. the rest are hilarious! thanks for the laughs. happy friday. will share.

  24. thatmelchick says:

    I would imagine Waylon Lewis takes issue with #30. ;)

  25. Pensky says:

    Re edemarco's comment about plagiarism – it says at top of list it comes "via" Kate, which can simply mean she is making us aware of this very funny list, not that she wrote it. and it can't be that old, can it? how old is Blu-Ray?

    i decided i'm printing this out for several people for a Christmas present. it's FUNNY. funny rocks.

  26. genevieve eustis says:

    RE number 20, What if you live in "THE GHETTO" http://yoisthisracist.com/

  27. Ellen R says:

    I homeschooled my children and told them the reason to learn cursive was so they could sign autographs and checks. So they can all sign their names and otherwise print or use keyboards to communicate. Life is short – let those who love the curlicues learn cursive and go on to address wedding invitations for others – the rest of us will learn to cursive our name in case we achieve celebrity status and spend the rest of the time learning to type!

  28. yogabot says:

    #26: so you are one of those uptight interferers-with-progress in an emergency? mind your own business people- you don't know everybody's story! sometimes you have to let people flow & mind your own business :P you should be ashamed, patting eachother on the back when people are having their vehicles overheat or losing their jobs, or whatever makes them feel the need to escape a traffic jam. someday it will be your turn & i hope the smug, self-righteous people let you though anyway <3

  29. Cheryl A. Lowitzer says:

    Kate, you are a HOOT! Enjoy your posts AND your bio, every time :-)

  30. Mike says:

    Very true.

  31. Faye Stevenson says:

    Definitely # 12 is my fav

  32. nonny says:

    I like all -except #30. i have friends who areavid bicyclists. And they knew people who were killed by drivers. Just give bicyclist some space and share the road!

  33. Robert says:

    Regarding number 7: If you don’t want instructions on how to leave your neighborhood then HAVE YOUR POINT OF ORIGIN BE THE NEAREST CROSS STREETS OR INTERSECTION! I figured that out a LONG time ago. It’s really not that hard, people.

  34. Atlantisdreamer says:

    hahahahhaaH hilarious, putting it on my fb. :D

  35. Johnny Mo says:

    First 20 were funny. Should have stopped at 22. Nothing funny about texting and driving or hating cyclists behind the wheel. They go in the same category as joking about drinking and driving or pedophilia. Save all those jokes for your fellow inmates, they will appreciate them…

  36. Emily says:

    Youch. Can't believe that #20 got posted. Please reconsider before posting content that props up class segregation with more fear and selfishness.

  37. Grat says:

    Wowzers, #20 is crazy racist.

  38. JaimLH says:

    This is hilarious and so true!

  39. I'm still laughing. And yes, can someone PLEASE create a sarcasm font? sheesh.

  40. Maya says:

    Amen! This is awesome :)

  41. Tabitha says:

    Um, I loved this!

  42. d4mi4n.info says:

    I don’t even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was great.

    I do not know who you are but certainly you are going

    to a famous blogger if you aren’t already ;) Cheers!

  43. h4x354x0r says:

    Ha ha! Nice you called out #30 too; I was laughing down the list and then all the sudden, "Hey now, *I'm* that bicyclist!" Actually, even though I am the bicyclist, I still think it's funny. Truth hurts, if it makes you laugh hard enough. Plus, I could add to that: Drivers all hate each other just as much, too.

  44. rumi says:

    Aaron Karo didn’t write it, but rather it was a collection of ruminations from several contributors on his now defunct site, ruminations.com. I used to frequent the site and saw these posted at the time, but they’ve since then been circulated in emails as a list. Still funny, and clever, nonetheless, but that’s the true source.

  45. CAZZA says:

    Was totally enjoying it and nodding in agreement until I got to number 23….. :( PLEASE….No texting in the car…in Australia it is illegal, but besides that..I have a loved one in full time care after glancing at an incoming text message and as a result, having a head on collision with a large SUV.

  46. Nicki says:

    All these comments that are negative just goes to show that some people can’t take a joke anymore! The Ghetto comment wasn’t racist, I have plenty of friends white and black that will tell you straight up they live in the ghetto and we laugh about it! The bicyclist comment was truth, they hate pedestrians and people in cars just as well! No one can drive these days nor walk for that matter because they have they’re heads in their phones. That brings me to the texting and driving…it said to finish a text, I will start a text at a stop sign, put my phone down and hope for a red light to finish it. Y’all read way too much into something that is supposed to be funny and bring a smile to your face! Get over it!

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