Forgetting the Myth of My Broken Heart & Remembering the Truth of Love. ~ Darius Hickman

Via on Aug 10, 2012

 

(Love Dance Mandala by David Cohen)

The deeper I go, the closer I am to a quiet truth: I don’t have to find love.  It never left.

It’s not that my heart is broken…

It’s just that broken trust and promises, broken ties and failed relationships, a low tolerance for pain and fear-based beliefs have all done a fantastic job at convincing me to repress my heart’s propensity for freely giving and receiving love. In fact, I’m learning that the only brokenness my heart might actually be aware of is that of the shattered chains my sometimes-fearful mind uses to arrest it.

So my heart isn’t broken; my heart is in bondage. And because I am the one ultimately responsible for its imprisonment, I am the one solely responsible for its freedom, right? Well, sort of. Paradoxically, of course, the opportunity to satisfy said responsibility almost always presents itself as an opportunity to be in relationship. In other words, it often seems that the only way to set my heart free is to deal with the pain and terror—real or perceived because my perception is my reality—of making it available to/for another.

To my astonishment, however, my practice of opening myself up to loving and being loved by others has revealed itself as an opening to and offering of self-wisdom, love and liberation.

When I unblock the barricaded edges of my heart, in search of a home for the love of another, I unavoidably deepen into the home of very genuine and vulnerable spaces within. The deeper I go, the closer I am to a quiet truth that is being softly whispered every day of my life. I witness a syncopated dance between fiction and reality, in which the roles are reversed and the leading lies are compassionately replaced by an understudied truth. That’s when I discover how much love has been there all along—a simmering and savory juiciness in which my heart has long yearned to be steeped.

I allow what is there to be what it is and embrace it as such.

I open more, search higher, sink deeper.

Soaked in its own essence, my once trapped and denied heart begins to burst at the seams, overflowing with grace and graciously pouring magic into the mundane.

It is then that I realize that every moment is eternally filled with the spaciousness of love.

It is then that I come to know the steady rapping of my heart as a constant call to my soul to remember—every breath as inspiration for my spirit to trust and my mind to choose—to let go.

Then, in those moments, I am free.

Free from the bondage of the lies I choose to believe;

Free of the fears that I allow to deprive my heart;

Free to choose to fearlessly know, understand, embrace and offer that which has been there all along, not only waiting for me to steep myself in its juiciness, but also recognize its juiciness as myself;

In those moments, I am free to trust, let go and fall into myself as that which I have always longed for:

Love.

 

Darius is a Louisiana-Texan whose soul path has him currently residing in Boulder, where attends graduate school at Naropa University. Dancing, good food, good music, good company and good times all add to the richness of his life, as well as the daily practice of digging into the soils of the human experience, harvesting and indulging in the sustaining wisdom and succulent veracity of divinity. Darius’ favorite way of engaging in such work is through yoga—all eight limbs! In fact, the pull and effect of yoga was so strong in his life that he decided to become a certified and registered teacher. His work as a yoga teacher is fueled by his passion to share with his students what his personal practice continues to teach him: “That which brings me face-to-face with my true nature also lends strength to my ability to cultivate a profound capacity to courageously face, lovingly embrace, compassionately heal, deeply integrate, and authentically embody every aspect of my entire being—breath, mind, body, soul, and spirit.” Check out one of Darius’ classes at Om Time Yoga or email him for more information about private instruction, special group classes/workshops, or just to say hi.

~

Editor: Alexandra Grace

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29 Responses to “Forgetting the Myth of My Broken Heart & Remembering the Truth of Love. ~ Darius Hickman”

  1. Marilyn says:

    Wonderful article! Totally inspiring <3

  2. Elisa says:

    Such a thought provoking and beautiful piece …

  3. adam says:

    …love it! Amazing and juicy!!!

  4. Amelia says:

    This hits on many levels of self repair, and I would love to see more of this "series" into The Bondaged Heart…

  5. Darius says:

    Stay on the lookout, Amelia. There's definitely more to come!

  6. Jennifer says:

    Thank you…..thank you. Pierces the truth clearly…..directly….still, with eloquence.

    Thank you.

    • Darius says:

      Jennifer, you're welcome. Thank you for your kind words. It touches my heart that my truth touches somewhere on yours.

  7. Trina Hall says:

    This is beautiful. I have been dating myself to create a ritual around love. This piece echoes what my heart is revealing. Thank you for sharing!

    • Darius says:

      Thank you, Trina. Dating yourself to create a ritual around love…WOW! I think that's incredibly brave and absolutely brilliant. There's also something very spcecial and reassuring about knowing that different practices and paths can lead us to similar experiences. Thank YOU for sharing that!

  8. elizabeth says:

    sincere and poetic. a true joy to read… thank you.

  9. Vandi says:

    Insightful and interesting, Darius–I can tell it's going to take me a second reading to truly appreciate all you have captured with your words–something to look forward to!

  10. Darcey says:

    as always… beautifully expressed and felt deeply

  11. Yolanda says:

    Beautifully written…keep up the good work.

  12. Darius says:

    Thank you, Yolanda.

  13. Sharon says:

    Thank you Darius. You really capture the personal experience of moving forward by making a conscious decision to turn to bravery and self trust. Most all of us can relate to this familiar need, but it all too often feels overbearing. However, your words here make it feel like a beautiful ride to the next phase.

  14. MzLeigh says:

    Wonderful piece! I have been struggling with my own heart issues and this article helped me see my own heart ache in a different light. I'm now looking at healing myself and looking forward to putting my heart to use again. Thank you for the inspiration :-)

  15. Darius says:

    MzLeigh, I'm so sorry to hear about your heartache AND I'm very glad to hear that you've been inspired to reframe the pain and find the healing that's hidden inside of it. Best of luck to you, co-journeyer! :-)

  16. te_johnson says:

    Darius, this hit me straight through the heart. I am going through this as we speak and your article is very uplifting and helpful. I am so proud of you! Keep on doing what you do best, and continue being the person you have always been since I first met you. Much love, peace, and happiness hunie. :)

    • Darius says:

      Thank you for your undying support, love. It means so much to me that you find my words uplifting. Much love, peace and happiness to you, too! :)

  17. Ms. F. Kelly says:

    OMG!! You made some valid statements in your story Darius. I am a good friend of your Dad, and I was honored that he shared this with me. Your words was so inspiring, and I pray that God's Blessings Be Upon You Always, Keep Going!!

  18. jahjah says:

    beautiful darius.

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