Honoring Men’s “Moon Cycles.” ~ Shiva Rea

Via on Oct 24, 2012

lion on back

Women, it’s time to honor the “moon cycle” of our men.

I have come to observe through life, love and anecdotal conversations that men, too, have their own equivalent to a woman’s “moon cycle,” that is related to the release of their seed.

Within the theory of Ayurveda, men’s shukra (or seminal fluid), is the energetic equivalent to a women’s pushpa (the blood of their womb), as well as female sexual fluid (also shukra).

These fluids are distilled through many days of work from foods and liquids to become a precious, life-creating substance. Although semen is created daily (85 million sperm per day per testicle), it takes 72 to 90 days to develop mature sperm.

No wonder men in the after-flow of a love union are like big, lazy lions, completely reclining, with no interest in doing anything whatsoever—just like women, who feel the need to seriously chill at the onset and during their monthly flow.

Putting aside the many theories and practices about men releasing their seed, which is really very individual, seasonal, constitutional and unique to every man, there is a wonderful period of absolute lunar, yin, receptive, relaxed, content, open and loving space that men enter into, that deserves to be honored—particularly by women who are often the ones to start poking that Lion King get up and do something again.

Why do women disturb men when they are so beautifully resting in their lunar nature—a quality women long to be reciprocated, when it’s their turn in the cyclical flow?

Just as men are often resistant to honor their ladies on their “moon” or menstrual cycle, when they need the most loving and nurturing support, ladies need to be called out for disturbing men in their spontaneous—but very real release of precious essence—their own “mini-moon.”

For those precious few hours, to a few days, these Lions deserve to be served and adored as “Moon Kings” too; I have yet to meet a man who is not into this idea, as they know it to be innately true—and actually love the regal name, which gives permission to lounge around like a maharaja, in the way that those lovely “Moon Queens” also are waiting to be held and respected.

Male and female orgasm naturally produces a cascade of oxytocin and a regenerating rhythmic entrainment between our brainwaves and our heart rhythm, that creates the feeling of a downward stream of bliss that is healing for every level of our being.

The relaxation that follows after reaching this peak is a sacred time for men to experience the healing power of ida nadithe “lunar current” of our parasympathetic nervous system, by resting in the whole body surrender. A woman’s sexual release creates the same melting-into-being, but is often energizing, as it is not anywhere near as “depleting of essence” as for men; hence the rhythmic differences that can emerge post-union.

Men and women can begin to authentically recognize the beauty of ida nadi within the shukra-pushpa (seed-ovum) release cycle and give that support and love to each other, by creating a natural rhythm of serving the Moon King-Queen. This can be in the smallest of ways of royal treatment, like feeding them in bed or making a special ojas tonic (Ayruveda recommends warm almond milk with honey and cashews sprinkled on top—yum!)

You start to love both being and serving the Moon King-Queen (I made up these titles and they work!)

So ladies, take up this love revolution and put the fire poker away.

Love your Moon King up and he will come to know exactly what a Moon Queen needs to receive when your cycle arrives—not “to give to get” but to help evolve our collective culture to remember our instinctual bodies.

Prrr and grrrr! All Hail the Moon Kings!

*Excerpt from the upcoming book Tending the Heart Fire: Living In Rhythm with the Pulse of Life.  (Soundstrue, Fall 2013)

 

shiva rea

When not reclining like a tigeress, you can find Shiva’s global offerings, collaborations and yogadventures on the web (www.shivarea.com).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

~
Editor: Bryonie Wise

Like elephant love on Facebook.

 

*Photo of lion via google image searchphoto of Shiva Rea courtesy of Peggy Dyer from One Million Faces Project.

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53 Responses to “Honoring Men’s “Moon Cycles.” ~ Shiva Rea”

  1. greateacher says:

    mmmmmmmmmmmm, thank you.

  2. Jen says:

    I don't get it… Men are supposed to be treated as a "Moon King" every time they cum and women are supposed to get that treatment only when they menstruate? That pretty much means that if you are having sex on a regular basis, that said man is "Moon King" all the time. I don't buy it. If he wants warm almond milk after sex, he can go pop that shit in the microwave himself.

    • @undefined says:

      My thoughts exactly.

      • Kimberly says:

        I take it as when there is a sacred bond between two equally participating partners in their union or relationship there needs to be space held for BOTH the man and the woman to explore these amazing occurrences. To understand that they could be or are at different times but of equal importance and value and that should be honored and adored by their partner. We are here to celebrate and uplift and believe and encourage each other and make space for whatever happens on these paths, both as individuals and as a partnership. For so long the woman has been oppressed in her glory, seen by modern man as a nuisance during her moon and now that we are having a revolution as females and coming full circle we need to learn from these burdens and not hold wonderful men that value this in us as personally responsible for these injustices.

    • the dude says:

      We don't need to be waited on like some dandy fap. We just need to chill and have you not bug us about shit. I've been with too any women who think that just after sex is the best time to vent every little thing that has been bugging them. It is not the time for that shit. That shit is like an assault, sister.

      • Than says:

        >"I've been with too any women who think that just after sex is the best time to vent every little thing that has been bugging them."

        This, by the way, is because sex/orgasm is such an energetic and emotional release. But yeah, totally overstimulating right after such a thing…

    • Courtney says:

      Maybe this article should have been marked for "mature" audiences ;-) Or hopefully it gets a re-read and a minute of reflection along the way to soften and penetrate whatever is causing anger and confusion. I read it to be geared towards those interested and ready to refine/cultivate/play/explore their sexual-sensual experiences in a yogic way. I really enjoyed the insights Shiva shared with us. This one resonates in particular: "Putting aside the many theories and practices about men releasing their seed, which is really very individual, seasonal, constitutional and unique to every man, there is a wonderful period of absolute lunar, yin, receptive, relaxed, content, open and loving space that men enter into, that deserves to be honored" It is about the exchange of orgasmic energy, once you get into that place of relationship beyond the "me first" and one night stands, if that is something you want to do. Grr and Prr to the healing power of men and women in union! Love will save the world

    • stars says:

      I think what Shiva is saying here is that you gain mutual peace from respecting the natural, biological and perfect cycles of both our (the female and male) bodies. Why does the idea of giving to the person that loves you make you cringe? You, as a woman, deserve the same respect from your partner. It's not about the numbers. It's about the action.

    • anonymous says:

      haha this guy thinks that is funny! um, please don't lash out at for thinking so…

  3. Antler says:

    That's really cute, and all, but in addition to our menstrual cycles, we also experience a "mini-moon" after orgasm– WHEN/IF we orgasm. If my "Moon King" wants some almond mild, we can make it TOGETHER, AFTER he makes me cum. I'm all for adoring men and their essence but let's face it, if your "Moon Kings" want to be treated like kings, they needs to act like just and kind kings first. </rant>

  4. shiva rea says:

    Whoah ladies…I am sorry if you took that paragraph about mutual serving such as the post-love tonic as if it was fixed in one direction only towards Men. Let's add more right here and now. If anyone in a relationship does not feel a balance in the dance of giving and receiving whether in love union or in the day to day, that tension recirculates. As Antler, says women absolutely do not feel like "serving" any imbalance. I have been working with women's circles for 15 years and we could definitely post and articulate more about the need to really honor a woman's sexuality on all levels. Any anger or distaste women have at the idea of "serving men" is well-deserved and 5,000 years plus in the making. As a light-hearted article, this was meant for us to just pause and consider in healthy relationships (i.e. where there is no abuse) that men may be the most responsive to restorative and loving energy post-union as a way to learn to honor women's cycles when they are experiencing a similar dynamic. I am all for yoni power. The "them" in the paragraph is men or women to serve each other. It could have been more clear.

    • I love the ideas in this article as it resonates with the whole aspect of sharing a couple's sexual fire and sexual as well as natural male and female tendancies. Honouring ourselves, our natural vibrations as well as our partners is surely th absolute in being a harmonious couple. Moving with and in rach other unique vibe. I don't take this to mean women need to serve their men more women and men need to listen to each other, breath and move together, honour each other. Love and light to you shiva

    • yogamatt says:

      Your article is deeply inspiring and really interesting. Thank you! It's important that we learn how to give and love one another. http://theyogablog.com/

  5. loveyogaonline says:

    Thank you Shiva, I think this is a very sweet, loving offering and brave to talk about areas of life which can be still, even in these times, challenging or taboo. You have certainly touched a soft spot in me and I would love to cultivate in myself, and in my relationship, the balance and generosity of spirit to give my man his lunar moments. This has been an inspiration – as are you xxx

  6. Karyn says:

    I like the idea of serving my lion king and have found. I too often do pick up the "fire poker" instead of lounging with him in our after glow. If I treat him as I wish to be treated it is all the sweeter and our love deepens. When I don't respect his needs and when he doesn't respect mine things drift and we are separate. I don't see anything at all off by serving him and honoring him, as he does for me. Thanks for the reminder shiva!

  7. Galie says:

    Thank you Shiva for posting such an illuminating article. I know many Men and Women will get this new way of viewing our sensuality. It appears the above comments were taken without fully reading the article and recognizing your point that this is a two way visceral communication process; one deep rooted in care, love and respectful offering from both Moon-King and Moon Queen. I encourage the above individuals to read again, reflect and discuss with their inner partner or partner in person. What is that we are yoking even in the most sacred of moments with our partners? What union is it that we desire, and with both ARDHA or half faces of Shiva and Shakti in one body. Let's shift the conversation back to LOVE TONICS.
    GJL

  8. Pau says:

    Shiva I totally agree with your article and your words resonate with my personal experience and perception about my men. It is beautiful to dance in between giving and receiving , recognizing and discovering everyone’s “moon moment or time ” . Thanks for helping us to understand our lives much better as universal rhythms and mandalas. Love to you.

  9. Selina says:

    Thank you Shiva for sharing this! I love the way you view the world through your heart, creating room and reason for us to follow our instinctual nature and when doing so to also tend deep respect for the needs of the other. This article (and I really look forward to your book!) will teach me to listen to my man and to make sure he can fully revel in his lunar moments, just as I do in mine. All love to you. xxx

  10. sarahyukie says:

    YES! As a feminist in a committed relationship, I have experienced huge evolution in loving and being loved through the organic unfolding of this awareness. Just as savasana (corpse pose) integrates and allows physical digestion of any asana practice, the natural nesting after orgasm (le petite mort) and downtime creates the space for energetic/physical/emotional digestion. I adore the softness and vulnerability I see in my strong partner and love nurturing him in this space.

  11. helena says:

    This is beautiful.Where there is Love there is compassion and what better arena than in the exclusive loving relationship of the ultimate Sacred Union. BE*Loved

  12. Yigadee says:

    Much respect to all Queens on/off their moon!!

    As a male who went for many years without the comforts of a woman [particularly YONI], I can say with all sincerity; the title of Moon King is a title to be earned.

    As I have re-entered a past relationship, I am proud to be labeled by my MOON GODDESS, a mere king. My GODDESS is a Moon Queen each and everyday. Those special moments I am permitted entry into the Jade Palace, I humbly serve my GODDESS because her passions demand my masterstroke to fulfill her pleasure peak…

    That said, when we are both of the heavenly realm we attempt to outlast one another for the climax; who reaches first is of no consequence if it happens at the same time. Her Moon is my opportunity to focus even more on pleasing her mentally…

    Moon Queen is a title to be earned as well; just because a man can cum & a woman menstruates doesn’t automatically make you a Queen or King.

    Thank you Shiva, XO

  13. @undefined says:

    love it! I have had my moments of fire poking! and do agree in giving that space! thanks for the awareness and reminder!

  14. Sonic Lauren says:

    I guess I'm one of the lucky ones, my man adores and worships me and my three year old daughter, and I must admit I have been guilty of picking up the fire poker instead of marinating in the after love glow. And, yes, Shiva is absolutely right on in her analogy of the man like a big lazy lion. Men are soft and vulnerable after making love, which is the place that women are always begging them to be, so why not "milk" this sacred time and snuggle in with your man. I don't think Shiva was neccessarily asking us to serve him, (although, I don't see why not, at least in my relationship, it balances things) but rather to honor and appreciate him. Deepening love and intimacy is the only downside to this. Thanks Shiva for being such an amazing role model as a partner and mother, whether serving or being served, it's all beautiful!!

  15. Nianna says:

    If one finds a mate that quenches and amplifies their soul then honoring one another in all ways before, after, and during sexual love play would be a natural and effortless dance of sharing in mutual love, respect, friendship, ecstasy, and service. I pray that all who seek it will have a partner that makes this post make sense. Perhaps then it wouldn't be so complicated to understand what it means to honor your lover as your king/Queen. Thank you Shiva for sharing this, it was clearly needed.

  16. Marcy Midnight says:

    Thank you Shiva! I know that my love experiences his own "moon" time. And I think it can be quite confusing for some men, and they may feel resistant to allowing themselves to feel the yin energy. Any practice that will help men to connect with Ida, yin and the moon essence is a good one! And as women we can reflect this to them, just as they reflect the yang. If there is resistance for some women to honor this in men, perhaps we must look at how we honor it in ourselves (as women) during our powerful moon time.

  17. James says:

    Nothing makes a man feel loved like his woman honoring his need to relax after a vigorous and blissful love making with his partner. If a man is making love frequently and he has a busy partner, it may not be practical for a man to expect his women to always want to relax and honor him after every love making time. I myself have discovered Tantra which has some of this be a moot point, as I no longer choose to expel energy/life-force 75% of the time or more. Mention to your man if he loves sex and he loves you his Goddess, why not try Tantra and have longer more blissful sex without needing the lunar time afterwards. Although, the bliss can be so wonderful he will likely want to relax with you, even though he won’t be in a particularly lunar state.

    I personally try to honor my beloved as the Goddess all of the time. The important thing from this article is that both men and woman should treat each other as Goddess or God and/or Moon Queen or Moon King, as Shiva so eloquently states!

    Namaste, James

  18. Sumita says:

    Beautiful Article, Well Said Shiva!!

  19. Svati says:

    Yes very nice artikel and very truth, thanks Shiva:-)
    Honoring each other Ida Nadi time is so important, in every form and every way :-)
    yes and yes :-) love it
    Let's spread the word and share this with others:-)

  20. Noeli Naima says:

    Thanks dear Shiva for touching such an intimate and beautifull subject like the sacred love afterglow.
    Yes..mens are like adorable Lions after sharing love and seeds ;)
    I used to be very angry seeing like my Aikido teacher “enslaved” his wife, she was such a sweety submiss litlle one!
    One day I´d asked her why she aloud him to be like this towards her, all the macho Sensei, and she told me: You are to young to understand the power of serving, isn´t??
    Of course at the time , the message didn´t arrived at all.I was shocked with her reaction.
    He showed me many times when she brought him food, a ready warm meal just to lift the fork and eat:”This is power” and I would be burning inside still in “how can she just be so servil?” She would slide like an Angel inside the Dojo, very silent and go to her knees in front of him, reaching him the food with absolute adoration.
    Now years gone, I understand some of the power of serving our “moon kings”, the shiva-shakti dance of life, sex and relationship, when to serve with recognition and love, when to be strong and stable, or just let go and rest, trusting the power of the moment, giving him time to be a big lazy lion nourishing his moon time,as I want to be honoured in the sensible days before my moon. It is a way of “milking” his power to surrender to my serving***LOVE***

  21. Beth says:

    I love the notion of serving and being open to our men in this time when they may be more open to saying yes to a deep nurturing. My husband is under a lot of stress right now and lives for his family. It's a nice reminder that in these moments he would be more open to receiving more love, more comfort, just more…. As he well deserves. Jai Ma! Blessings Shiva!

  22. Donna Lanni says:

    Soulful lovemaking leaves both with the feeling of Ida Nadi. Mutual service and compassion for the lion and lioness in this mutual act of offering turns a “roll in the hay” into a sacred, connected, blissful voyage. Momma always said that “honey is far better than vinegar” queens and kings!

  23. Karl says:

    As a personist, I read your article with great interest. It seems obvious that in a good relationship men and women, men and men, women and women, etc, would respond with love and respect for the needs of their partners, be it after sex, sleep, a hard day, etc. It seems the basis for any well grounded philosophy and life coachery. A well balanced union respects the needs of both partners. Sometimes that means sleep. Is there really any better way to finish than to fall asleep intertwined, perhaps with his LINGUM in her YONI.
    ps. Sorry to the guy with the long hiatus from YONI. Dude, that totally blows.

  24. Yeah, just like Shiva Rea said…

  25. Christina says:

    Shiva, I think you communicate a respectful and tender balance between the shiva shakti / male female relationship that some of us are having fun in ( these relationships). Love, , affection, and honoring your lover is a truly integral part of a good relationship! Jai ma!

  26. shiva weeva rea says:

    I really appreciate hearing people's comments and life stories. In a short blog, there is much to be untouched in this potent topic. Cutlivating our shukra-essence is a subtle awareness that is not well integrated in the west. I really enjoy the free dialogue space that elephant journal creates which is why this spontaneous post emerged. Keep the comments coming as it is liberating to hear. I love men and women dialoguing together. I love the call to integrate lunar energy in all ways in our lives in our culture of excess doing that is running rampant on the planet. I believe our loveunion is a microcosm of our relationships and the collective – what we find-create there we find everywhere.

  27. BrightTiger says:

    It makes sense that its a watery part of men's natural rhythms that men are drawn to return to again and again: to connect with the deep watery feminine, in the other and activiate it also in their own solar natures. Personally, I think we probably have various layers of phases. As women, we are not just lunar on our moon-cycle. Men too. But certain things in life are sure to bring us back to it over and over again. Probably women have a tendency overall to be a bit more lunar than the men but definitely the men must be returning there as Shiva describes here. I've also heard it said that the female orgams is important for men cuz by coming into contact inthis way with the female orgasm men bring part of the feminine nature into themselves just as women take some of the male energy inthe form of semen. Jai Ma! Men are Devi to. "You are Mother and Father you are a young boy and a young girl you are theh words of praise by which we are singing" Kali Puja.a song to Goddess.

  28. BrightTiger says:

    Also, lets please remember for those who are freakin out that men get a little credit for being sometimes more lunar and watery than others: lots of women are getting LOTS Of credit for being Solar these days with our careers and I've seen a very mothering side to men, that is very gentle, soft and lunar, whether they are ejaculating that moment or not. But I think what Shiva says here is making a lot of sense.

  29. Patroushka says:

    I am all in favor of mutual service to our partners. And letting our partners just BE when that is what they need. I am curious though about the equating of post-lovemaking for a man with a woman's lunar cycle. Men also have a hormonal cycle which is a month to six weeks in length, but much more subtle than a woman's as there is obviously no bleeding. So a man may experience mood swings, irritability, bloating for no clear reason. In my view, that is when they really need our extra sensitive and compassionate love, just as we need theirs during our more obvious moon.

  30. Qvintus says:

    I'm all for the communication and listening; attentively and affectionately tending to each others needs and emotional states, loving sweet talk and admiration, giving time and space for the natural cycles of energies and body fluids (which may not always be in sync with your partner), etc. — however, though I'm not a stranger to imagination, role playing and such things, personally I would usually rather dispense with the royalties (especially kings & queens) and cat names (generally I genuinely dislike royalties and absolutely see no need for those titles, but love cats), and instead call my (non-fairytale) lover by her real name and say what she means to me (things I don't care to express here) — and as a rule, ordinarily (in heterosexual relationships): the female orgasm should always have precedence to the male orgasm, because it really does matter — a lot. Given the subject of this article, I think that really needed to be said. Another rule I have, is to never have sex, unless I'm in love and we both really want to. That's important to me, both spiritually and in order to have a healthy sex life.

    • Joe Sparks says:

      For all of us, distresses about sex are tangled with having a real connection with someone. We have a difficult time separating sex and closeness, and they are separate. We can be completely intimate with someone, our full minds knowing each other, we can be committed to each other, be close physically, and it doesn't have to be sexual. But given what what happens to us, it can be difficult to see that. Sex often doesn't work as a way to bring us closer. It can work to keep us separated. We have to fight against acting out those frozen longings.

  31. shiva rea says:

    I really love all of the variation and all of the subtleties that are being offered. No name is needed as you, Qvintus, has pointed out is needed particularly in this global climate where people power continues to be our evolutionary call. We are all of royal blood. Whatever brings one to a place of be able to receive fully, to ask tenderly for what you may need while in a surrendered energetic state and for that to lovingly honored with no attachments. So many really great comments from men and women. Keep em coming…

  32. PadmaVajra says:

    I really appreciate that most of the women here see the man on the moon! Ms Shiva raises a needed topic to be discussed and contemplated among those of us who seek to have healthier and happier relationships. If a picture could tell a thousand words, what i feel after a wild session of lovemaking with my wife is embodied in that photo of the blissed out lion above. Take a good look ladies and get the darshan of that body language. His legs are spread wide exposing himself in the most vulnerable way as normally we associate fierceness with the lion. But there is absolute openness captured in this moment. Look closely and he seems to be smiling in elation! Especially after being coiled in for so long, when i make an offering to my lover by releasing, this is precious time to be savored, when i want to be hold her, bathe in the after glow of our heated passion. And if i don't convey that i really need her to allow me to relax before any activity begins she may not realize how important this is to me, doesn't pick up on that energy and starts to talk about an agenda of obligations then i feel a disconnect. On the other hand if she asks if there is anything i need i'm truly feeling like king for a day and will do anything to reciprocate that expression of understanding and worship her as moon queen not out of a sense duty but out of desire.

  33. Rain says:

    I’ve always thought men had cycles like women! We all need to honour the cycles of both genders. We are all Monn Kings and Queens!

    Thank you, Shivaji, for explaining this!

  34. Bryan says:

    I'm trying to understand the logic here. A women's cycle has some type of cleansing and purification associated it while the men's "cycle" is generally just a wastage of ojas and spiritual energy from an Ayurvedic / Yogic and depletion of energy / soma. It might make more sense if it had to do with a women's sexual vaginal secretion but even then it is wastage unless your practicing some advanced tantric techniques to conserve the energy. Could you get a little more specific how it's connected? Thanks!

  35. saracarly says:

    yes shiva! so insightful and true. i think that this simple, yet powerful honoring can help create understanding and harmony on deep levels!

  36. Jenny says:

    great article Shiva. I totally agree that when we are in a healthy relationship it feels natural to let our man to relax & restore just as we deserve to be treated with much love during our cycle. And I always wondered that somehow men had their 'cycle' too!! this explains it nicely….Love the title Moon Queen & King :)

    Jai!

  37. Emma says:

    I have to say the conflation of men’s post-orgasmic fatigue with a menstrual period is a bit far fetched and slightly offensive. Orgasm is a common experience and a man’s orgasm is not more sacred or a good comparison to menses in a physical or emotional sense. Post orgasmic pampering is fine if it goes both ways regardless of the genders of the partners involved.

  38. Carole says:

    Shiva, this is a most beautiful post. I am totally open to trying something new, and think that any way that we can honor our partners is a blessing.
    Thank you for always blazing the way… and saying what truly needs to be said.

  39. Carole says:

    Shiva, this is a most beautiful post. I am totally open to trying something new, and think that any way that we can honor our partners is a blessing.

  40. Eric Shaw Eric Shaw says:

    This is a brave article, Shiva. it feels great to have a public acknowledgement of the vulnerability of men that also acknowledges our strength and breadth of feeling. Thanks so much.

  41. [...] as having the same energetic effect as women’s uterine blood; the belief is that ejaculation leaves men with the need to rest rebuild those energies. Western medicine? We still don’t know. The data doesn’t support the idea that too much sex [...]

  42. lilppa44 says:

    It isn't that complicated !

    As a Christian, I have been taught to love others as I wish to be loved.

    It appears from what I am reading here about the thousand of years some women feel they have been oppressed that many woman have a problem with the "R" word like reciprocity, respect and relationship.

    Could it be that women are innately insecure and seek out an Alpha Male until they take him home and find they can't turn him into the subservient that they will ultimate come to abhor.

    I'm an alpha male seeking a REAL woman without all this feminist baggage who knows how to please a woman and will not disrespect her if she should reciprocate.

    After all, isn't that what true love is all about ? Mutual Respect ?

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