Bring back the prude.
Sex. Sex sex sex sex… sex sex!
Have I captured your attention yet?
I pondered long and hard (pardon the pun) on using the word ‘prude’ in this article, as I thought it could be wildly misinterpreted. After deep contemplation I decided to keep it, as it is an expression that a couple of close girlfriends and I often use, and it feels personal.
According to Urban Dictionary, a prude is defined as “a girl or guy who’s afraid to do anything sexual.” On the other hand, dictionary.com describes the word as “a worthy or respectable woman.” I am going to go with the latter definition as relevant to this article.
Sex—a naturally occurring, biologically driven phenomenon—has been over exploited, labeled innumerable ways, shamed, used for power and status, abused and wrongfully confused as a manifestation of other emotions and thoughts.
I am not against sex. On the contrary, I am tremendously in favor of it.
However, I can’t help but feel the interpretation of what it really is has been blurred quite significantly. It has objectified rather than connected, placed emphasis on the act of gaining rather than giving and destroyed innumerable relationships due to obsessive and unhealthy behavior.
We live in a society where the emphasis is on instant gratification of all varieties—fast food, porn, shopping, gambling, social media, television, sex. We can blame our lingering primal instincts for this fascination with bottomless instant pleasure. Because of our deep rooted urges from back in the caveman era, the chemistry in our bodies has not yet caught up with our lightening speed advances in technology, modernism and the fragile evolution of our own human soul.
Sigmund Freud is quoted as saying, “The behavior of a human being in sexual matters is often a prototype for the whole of his other modes of reaction in life.” If you look around, sexual energy is an undercurrent in mostly everything in the modern day world—suggestive advertisements, pornography, movies, most of the songs that you hear on the radio, day to day interactions with the people in your life. What is Googled the most? You can sure as hell bet it’s not global warming or the current political status in Zimbabwe; it’s pictures of Kim Kardashian in her sexy workout gear. When we are driven by unchecked primal urges, our world has some serious priority issues.
Here’s a quick intermission: a hilarious video that perfectly illustrates my take on the silliness of shallow sexual motives:
The more something is repressed, the more it imbeds itself deep into the murky subconscious, and the more it manifests in strange and unhealthy ways.
A good example of this can be found in Japanese culture, where society dictates that everyone must work 14 hours a day, seven days a week, and keep up with a high standard of intellectual capacity and material wealth. This mindset is deeply ingrained into children from an early age, where they have to go to ‘after school’ and ‘after after school’ programs in order to compete with their peers. Tokyo presents this juxtaposition as a super-hub of lights and technology next to ‘love hotels’ with businessmen unabashedly rifling through sex toy vending machines and porn bins. In the city one can find ‘pink lantern’ salons where men can pay women just to massage them and pay them compliments. Sex stores exist to fit every fetish and fulfill any fantasy that could possibly exist—from urinary catheters to used underwear to sushi dildos. It seems that this is the way society has built outlets for these repressed undercurrent erotic sensations to come to surface. This manifestation can be found all over the world, except perhaps in a jungle tribe where a copy of Playboy would seem quite ludicrous.
There are a lot of broken-hearted, hardened and lonely people hoping that casual sex and one night stands will satisfy the human connection that they are truly seeking. I, personally, have experienced both sides of the coin—sex as a selfish and selfless act. I am in no way denying that sex is a biological need that must be met, but I truly do believe that under the proper positions (pun intended) of life situations, sex can be a rewarding and beautiful experience that just comes naturally. If society’s perspective could only change to embrace sex as a pure, organic act, the shamefulness, dogma and stereotypes would quickly dissipate.
I fully support the acceptance of romping intercourse. Romping, wild, earth-shattering, swinging-off-the-chandelier intercourse. Romping intercourse with love.
Partaking in sex with another human being is the most intimate experience you can share. It is wrong to degrade and objectify another person for your own selfish, short-lived pleasure; bodies should be enjoyed with the respect and appreciation they deserve. If treated as such, sex will turn from a loveless act into one blossoming with pure love, the way it was meant to be.
Veronica Ryl is an extreme adventurist, modern day philosopher and life-lover with a major interest in psychology. She is in the eternal process of defining herself and her beliefs (and is making up the rules as she goes). Her other interests include: travelling, physical fitness, the great outdoors, self expression and venturing outside her comfort zone. Passionate about life experiences and people; she would love to get to know you.
Editor: Olivia Gray
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July’s Full Moon in Capricorn: The Heart wants what it Wants. The 4 Stages of a Good Divorce. How to Love a Woman who Scares You. Our Soulmates are Rarely Who We Expect. I Still Think of You. Men, Let’s Stop Fooling Ourselves: Size Matters. To the One Who Tried to Break Me. An Open Letter to the Fixers. How your Stored Memories in the Amygdala can lead to PTSD. How My Sister’s Death Transformed my Self-Perception.