I’ve been in a bit of a funk, beginning yesterday and carrying on into today.
I have been really good throughout recent challenges in keeping my emotions (mostly) in tow; as, I’ve realized there’s no sense wasting a moment to fleeting foolishness.
But, every once in a while, life….hits me…hard—and in this case, in the form of a voice mail message that I wasn’t able to respond to as quickly as I would have liked and/or intended.
I have learned (through much effort) to keep myself grounded in my moments—I don’t dream outwards too very far, and I don’t think too much about the things that have passed.
As a matter of fact, in the moment is my new ‘comfort zone.’
And, I’m finding that those close to me are having a difficult time understanding my new ‘orientation.’ Some, have even challenged that I’m too weak or too fearful for honest forward thinking.
But, it’s not that way, at all.
I stay in this moment, because…this is the best moment of all. It’s the best moment of all—because, there are no ‘what if’ scenarios here…no worrying or carrying on. It’s the time when I can most fully connect to everything all around me… keeping myself, most centered of all.
I like now. And I love my ‘this moment’ most of all.
When I walk outside, I want to close my eyes and know what ‘wind’ really feels like. And, coming in…when I hang up my coat, I want to savor that ‘outside smell’ that lingers still in the woven fabric.
I’m here in this moment; because, this is the moment that I love most of all.
And yet, yesterday—I felt a bit ripped from that coziness, and comfort…shocked awake from a deep, deep sleep. Disoriented…discouraged…and looking back at my ‘this moment’ and almost missing it quite a bit.
And, I miss my friend ‘this moment’ quite a bit.
Maybe, all these emotions—the upset, anger, frustration, worry, doubt…or for that matter, any sort of emotional unsettling—maybe, the true source of all of it is that we’ve just become a bit disconnected from ‘now.’
And, just how amazing would it be to make it all go away by simply getting back to self for just a bit?
One thing I have learned over this past year: our reality, is all and always what we want it to be.
Oh yes, and also (but, most importantly)—I think chocolate should always be the ‘prescription’ for funkiness.
Bonus Musings from Lao Tzu:
If you are depressed you are living in the past.
If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present.
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Ed: Kate Bartolotta
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