Body Orgasmic: 7 Ways to Great Sex.

Via on Apr 26, 2013

black and white lovemaking

Yoga practice helps us feel better in body, mind and spirit but what if it also offered access to a deep, blissful, connected state through sex?

There are millions of women practicing yoga around the globe. We stretch, sweat and strengthen ourselves so we may be more radiant, powerful and beautiful on and off the yoga mat. Women have embraced Yoga as an empowerment tool (and I salute our male yogis too) but there is one final area yet to be embraced—our sexuality and our power as sexual beings.

Yoga may have changed your life in a myriad of ways but has it changed your sex life? The time is ripe to extend our practice from body beautiful to body orgasmic—great yoga on the mat leads to great joy on the mattress.

This article is not intended to be a dissertation on the power of sexuality but rather a joyful offering of how your yoga practice can help you experience ananda (bliss) through sex.

7. Know me, know my body.

Yoga increases your awareness of your body. You begin to know your body in new and wonderful ways which means you can know what is nourishing, strengthening and affirming for your body on the mat and on the mattress.

I remember a friend in university telling me she had no sense of where her body was most of the time and during sex she felt like a disconnected head.  Needless to say her level of body connection and therefore pleasure was non-existent. A relationship with your body is one of the most important steps to great sex.

The next time you are in Triangle Pose, ask yourself where your body really is in space. Notice exactly what feels good and what feels uncomfortable. Begin to know your body deeply so it may tell you what you truly need to feel fabulous.

6. The gateway drug.

Which brings us to a deep truth—great yoga and great sex is not just about technique but about a deep connection to presence. Presence can be described as that radiant life force or Divine power within us.

Remember a time you felt so alive in your practice; your body was a gateway to calm, beauty, sensuality and the Divinity within you. Your body is your tool for awakening. Embrace it. I guarantee this gateway will be one of the most euphoric drugs available to you—your own body.

5. Slow down baby.

Speaking of presence, yoga contributes to great sex because it teaches us to slow down. When we are rushing through our life, our practice and foreplay all with a sense of urgency to get it done we miss the deeper radiance within us as well an opportunity to make a deep connection with our self and our partner.

The average lov making session is less than seven minutes. I take longer to drink a cup of coffee!

What’s the rush? Perhaps it’s our addiction to “busy.” Remember you created your to-do list so you can decide what’s on it. Would you rather be busy or “get busy” with your lover? Perhaps joy, celebration and connection could be at the top of your list as you slow down and embrace joy.

4. Getting my sexy back.

Curvy YogiWithin a year of starting yoga I went from a size 14 to a size 6 and felt sexier than ever before. I am not suggesting in anyway that body size should indicate how women feel about themselves. I know size 20+ women who are some of the sexiest women on the planet. Self-deprivation, eating disorders and feeling worthless because we aren’t toothpicks is not what it’s about.

Skinny does not equate to sexy. However, all women know that when you don’t feel attractive you don’t feel turned on. Yoga helps balance our weight, our hormones and the way we feel about ourselves.

Now at a happy size eight I am not the skinniest woman in the room, nor do I need to be. I embrace my curves and feel confident in my skin which allows me to be confident and embracing in the bedroom as well.

3. Shameless.

Although we have come a long way baby we still carry a lot of shame about our bodies and sexuality. I think of myself as a free, alive and radiant woman but still remember a university party and the guy who called me a “slut” because I would not sleep with him, but had slept with his friend. I know this is a clear example of jerk-dom combined with a ridiculous premise but I also still feel the remnants of the shame of this experience.

Liking sex and wanting it for myself and not as a servant to men’s desires made me a “slut” in his eyes and made me question myself.

Women who are overt sexual beings in our society are often seen as “whores” so we lock our sexuality away to fit the good girl or virgin archetype. This compartmentalizing is not only extremely damaging as we deny ourselves, but also why we struggle as a culture for holism on our planet today.

Yoga is a tool that reminds us that all truly is one. We are the radiant sexual Goddess and the innocent girl. We do not need to sacrifice any part of our self or feel shameful as all is beautiful in the eyes of the Divine.

As I freed up my shame about my robust sexuality I felt a new confidence grow in myself. This allowed me to feel more fearless and therefore less protective and defensive, which in turn opened up a new depth of intimacy and joy in my relationship with my husband, which meant even better sex.

2. Saying yes to joy.

In ancient Yoga philosophy, kama, defined as pleasure, joy and desire was a high principle. It was one of the four highest goals of life along with service. As humanity embraced a punishing God and viewed life as suffering and the body as dirty, we moved away from the philosophy of life as a gift and saw detachment, self-denial and suffering as holy.

Tantric teachings remind us that we are here to experience joy in this life and in this body. Even current neuroscience confirms that the human brain is wired for connection, freedom and celebration. Your right hemisphere is all about the party—joy is your natural state! Yoga helps us experience and remember our joy.

Remember the euphoria you experienced after a great Yoga class? You were glowing with possibility and all was beautiful in the world. Your heart was open and you could not stop smiling. Stepping into our joy is one of the most powerful tools of healing available on this planet today.

Sex can also be a great source of joy if we embrace it as such. Part of this is letting go of our shame, fear and denial but also to see ourselves, our bodies and our union with another as a source of what we are here to experience—joy! So next time you say yes to sex, think of it as a way to say yes to kama.

1. I bow to you gorgeous one.

Yoga reminds us to honor each other. When we bow and offer a Namaste we are literally bowing to the Divine in each other. Our sexual union can also be a way of honoring the Divine in our selves and our partner. How do you honor your partner? How do you think about your lover? Do you seek the Divine within them?

I have been married for nearly 10 years and I still have amazing sex and yes, with my husband. Not only am I still in love with my husband, I am also extremely attracted to him. Why did this attraction last? Well, I look for things to appreciate, to love and to honor. I purposefully choose to get turned on about him rather than to think about the things that annoy me. Moreover I honor the Divine in him and seek to affirm it in and out of the bedroom. I see him as the Divine in gorgeous form.

In Yoga philosophy our Ishta Devata is the Divine in beloved form. My husband is a powerful living breathing emanation of the Divine to me as I am to him. Who would not want to have sex with a god?

It’s time for us to embrace our sacred sexual current and free ourselves to experience ananda (bliss) on our mat and on our mattress.

 

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Assistant Editor: Jennifer Townsend/Ed: Kate Bartolotta

About Shasta Townsend

Shasta Townsend Shasta inspires people by helping them make more sense of their world and flourish in it. Thanks to her emboldened but down-to-earth teachings and her passionate campfire style story-telling, she provide students and readers with the clear know-how to experience inspired possibility and real joy. Focusing her expertise in sacred sexuality and love, Shasta's breakthrough methods awaken and empower individuals to embrace intimacy as a source of transformation, joy and spirit. She fearlessly offers up the sacred cows of sexuality and romance, as she transparently and meaningfully speaks, teaches and writes to the power of true connection as a catalyst to experience our innate wholeness, happiness and freedom. Evidence of her gift is apparent in a multitude of success stories from her happy readers and students. She calls her self the “untantric Tantric” teacher and encourages you to release dogma and become your own guru. She offers many opportunities for you to flourish in the bedroom, the boardroom or wherever your life takes you. She is a Featured Columnist for Elephant Journal, Rebelle Society and Vivid Life, she speaks and teaches worldwide and is completing a book on the power of sex. Visit www.shastatownsend.com to learn more or connect with her on Facebook at Happy, Sexy, Shameless.

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15 Responses to “Body Orgasmic: 7 Ways to Great Sex.”

  1. Trish says:

    Simply beautiful.

  2. sheri says:

    "Your right hemisphere is all about the party—joy is your natural state! "

    I particularly like #2
    enjoyed your article, Shasta
    thank you

  3. @Suzy_Cherry says:

    Love this. I think a size 8 is pretty tiny, though! At 15 I was a size 5; after 3 kids I was a size 12. Now. I'm afraid I'm a 16. I'm practicing what yoga I know (which is just a little) and doing the hula hoop. When I do this, I feel better – I'm just waiting for the size to change…

  4. Everett says:

    I think all this applies equally to men

  5. J. Thompson says:

    Speaking from a man's perspective, there's nothing hotter than to see your woman being so connected to and confident with her body during sex. Yoga certainly can give that to both men and women; the nice body, the better circulation, and the awareness of your body parts.

  6. Dale says:

    Loved this piece. And, I've been wanting to try yoga forever and may have finally gotten the final push I need!

  7. robert says:

    thank you for sharing !!!! great read

  8. camilleshirley says:

    I liked the balanced nature of this one! xo

  9. Amy E says:

    Good read. I can't relate sexual pleasure with yoga, but, I can with a runner's high and stretching afterwards. Weight training is a bit like yoga…focus on breathing with movement. I appreciated #3 where you alluded to the Madona-Whore complex. Some women struggle with that in their marriages. It's great until the kids come; then your sex life is over. Thanks for the reassuring advice.

  10. YogaSnob says:

    I like the content, and it would be even more beautiful with proper punctuation. Is editing non-existent on this site?

  11. Nancy says:

    I love #6 The Gateway Drug. I am getting over an indescribable passion that I attributed to his skill, but your article made me realize how much I brought to the plate. Maybe in fact, it was my yoga that made me so addicted. If that is the case, I can look forward to much, much more – without him.

  12. kotfrank says:

    Sadly there is no mention of circumcision, male or female. As if circumcision is not to be discussed, and why? or that it, the cutting off of up to 85% of the male exquisite fine-touch receptors don't have any bearing to great sex?

    Let's start with the basics from the beginning.

    First, let's first look at the message imposed on a boy – you and your penis are not perfect. We don't trust you to clean and to be responsible sexually. Why because males are filth in every way. Snips and snails and puppy dog tails. This is the original Body Dysmorphic Disorder. So bring on those steel urinal partitions and better yet make them cinder concrete block walls. Intact societies don't have this problematic hang up, search images.

    Second, on sensitivity, the penis has outer skin, dartos muscle, then mucosa which is sometime referred to erroneously as inner skin. The mucosa is continuous to include the glans. So what covers the glans is no different than the rest of the "inner skin". Just inside the foreskin is the ridged band which is continuous with the frenulum. This noose is contains 85% of the fine touch sexual receptors. The other 15% is located in the glans corona. BUT this 15% is ONLY 5% of the receptors in the glans. The other 95% are primitive pain/ thermal receptors, not capable of fine-touch. This is why when men say "If I felt anymore sensation, I think I would die of a heart attack!" (Larry David). Because these men are feeling more unpleasant sensation than true pleasure sensation. Also intact men who have all there pleasure receptors are ready to go and go and go again, multi orgasmic with the same erection. Yet ONLY circumcised men will say "Stop! Don't touch my glans." Because they don't have the pleasure receptors to override the glans pain receptors.

    So I see that it is best said the foreskin protects the mucosa.

    Not just the glans but this and the more sensitive ridged band and frenulum.

    Yoga is great to be mindful of ones body and get it stretched, ready, and blood flowing.

  13. Lonewulfie says:

    There are three primary positions to hit the G spot really good and give any woman many amazing spectacular gushing orgasms and that's all you need to give any woman the most awesome sex.

  14. Your site is exactly what I have looking for!! Keep up with the good work.

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