Forget Coffee: Start Your Mornings with ‘Explosive Sexual Healing.’ {Adult} ~ Candice Holdorf

Via on Apr 10, 2013
Rob Boehle via Pinterest
Rob Boehle via Pinterest

Explosive Sexual Healing: three words that would pique anyone’s interest.

When I first heard it, I was taken a little aback at the audacity of the name. I mean, Explosive? Really?

Maybe I’m a chronic skeptic. Maybe I’m a little jaded. Or maybe I’ve just had my share of guys promising ‘explosive’ nights of ecstasy, only to end up seven minutes later with cum on my shirt and an unpaid dry-cleaning bill.

So when the neon sign unapologetically flashed Explosive Sexual Healing, all I could think was, “Buddy, you better deliver.”

What is Explosive Sexual Healing? According to husband-and-wife team (and founders), Ben and Jen Rode, it’s a “healing modality that empowers women through ecstatic states of full release G-spot orgasm.” Through clearing blocks in a woman’s sex, they also unblock her from having what she wants in the rest of her life.

The G-spot is typically known as this mysterious locus of pleasure (which may or may not have something to do with female ejaculation) to which only the lucky few have access. The Rodes work to educate women on their anatomy (yes, every woman has this power within her), as well as set the stage for her to experience the scope of her orgasmic potential: through coaching, intuitive tarot readings, Reiki and (you guessed it) massaging the G-spot.

I can see the comments section filling up already in a chorus of dissent:

You mean some random dude is going to touch my girlfriend’s pussy?
That’s fucked up.
What if I fall in love with him?
That’s immoral.
Why would I let someone touch me ‘down there’ if I’m not going to marry him?
Isn’t that prostitution?
I don’t want to get taken advantage of.

On the one hand, the concerns are legitimate. In our current climate of sexual shame, secrecy and fear (especially regarding female desire), it’s no wonder we are confused. Religion says women should be honorable and loyal and yet Cosmo tells us we better know how to ‘rock his cock’ lest we lose our chances at capturing ‘the one.’

Men don’t have it much easier. They are taught to be ‘players’ and base their self-esteem on successfully bagging chicks, but only have porn, hookers and their 13-year-old awkward fantasies as a reference (no offense to a gold bikini-clad Princess Leia).

Screen Shot 2013-04-06 at 4.12.54 PMHowever, it is because of our limited education and attitudes towards sex (and not in spite of them) that the Rodes created Explosive Sexual Healing. Admit it: as much as want to think we are all sexual rock stars, most of us still have a lot to learn when it comes to our erotic potential. Just as professional mechanics specialize in cars or professional accountants specialize in finances, we must also learn to make space for professional sex workers who know how to skillfully work with our sex.

Ben Rode is one such professional. As a Certified Sexological Bodyworker, he is trained in handling sexuality with the utmost care and integrity. As of now, this type of certification is legal in the states of California and Nevada.

He calls what he does ‘one-way touch’; that is, he touches the client’s genitals, but the client does not touch back. Ben never removes his own clothes and there are no other ‘strings’ that usually get entangled when we try to connect to pure, unadulterated orgasmic energy, i.e. romance, husband hunting, trying to impress, fear of looking ‘unladylike,’ etc.

Plus, Ben’s wife, Jen, is present and part of the healing process, thus making it psychologically ‘safer’ for many women to relax their ‘center of vigilance’, a.k.a. the reptilian part of the brain that keeps us in a state of fight-or-flight. When the center of vigilance is activated, women cannot enter a state of orgasm. Therefore, knowing that she is safe and well held is essential for a woman to tap into her orgasmic potential, which is why working with professionals is invaluable in this type of work.

The importance of what they do cannot be denied, and yet it’s also extremely cutting edge and goes way beyond many people’s comfort zones. Not only do they have to face cultural judgment around touching their clients’ genitals, but also they come up against antiquated and misguided definitions of orgasm.

Thanks to my training in Orgasmic Meditation, I had a broader experience of orgasm, but most people the Rodes meet have never considered the possibility that orgasm is more than just a 30-second crashing climax or that it could last one minute, five minutes, thirty minutes or even longer. Explosive Sexual Healing throws grenades both into our mental and physical paradigms of sexuality.

But Ben and Jen don’t see this as a deterrent. Beyond the ‘orgasmic’ appeal, Explosive Sexual Healing truly is about healing. In addition to being a Sexological Bodyworker, Ben is also a Certified Hypnotherapist and Jen is a powerful clairvoyant and Reiki Master. They think of their work as a ‘calling’ and believe that their ‘Twin Flame’ partnership, both in marriage and in vocation, serves the greater healing between the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine.

Don’t misunderstand me. For all the woo-woo talk, Ben and Jen are two people with their feet firmly planted on the ground. More than that, they are also in alignment with their own sexuality and have clear and firm boundaries within their personal relationship. Therefore, the boundaries they have with their clients are some of cleanest and healthiest I have ever experienced.

From the moment I walked into their home, I knew I was in a place where I could surrender.

Over time, I had come to know Ben and Jen as genuine and loving people with a message similar to mine: sex and pleasure are our birthrights and what the world desperately needs are sexually empowered queens stepping into their greatness and sharing their gifts.

I threw my expectations out with the rest of my vanity and lay my naked body on the table. Ben proceeded to oil my legs and back and gently worked the muscles that held tension. Jen floated her hands over my body, performing Reiki.

As the minutes passed, I felt myself sink into deeper levels of relaxation.

Finally the time arrived. Ben put on his gloves, lubed up fingers and requested permission to enter me. I granted him access. He slipped in two cool fingers and slowly began to pulse the spongy area above my pubic bone. It wasn’t long before I felt an urgent swelling suckle his fingers. Jen reminded me to connect the softness of my heart with the nuclear power plant growing in my genitals.

Courbet's "L'Origin du Monde"
Courbet’s “L’Origin du Monde”

As per Ben’s instructions, I began to stroke my clit while he supported my legs and kept the pressure building inside. He told me to go to the edge of climax but stressed to not go over. He let me know that soon we’d be going into the first orgasm. I nodded my head, face dripping with sweat and pussy swollen with blood.

I released my clit stroking, barely hanging onto the orgasmic edge. I opened my throat, bore down onto his fingers and spread the energy down.

At first, I felt a widening sense of being, like hanging in the air, followed by a strange disconnect between my body and me. I looked down. Out of the rumbling pile of bones that I identified as ‘my body,’ a warm, sweet-smelling stream of liquid flooded his hands, the sheets and my legs.

The scream ebbed from my lips and shifted to a stunned, “Oh.”

In my sexual life, I’ve had dribbles or the occasional squirt. But I had never seen a river of that magnitude flowing from between my legs.

I laid my head back and started crying.  I felt I had been initiated. All the stories you hear about the power of a woman, the Source of Life, the Great Void, L’Origine du monde, all suddenly made perfect sense.

“Are you ready to go again?” he asked.
“More?!” I thought.

We started again, building the orgasm to an unbearable peak and this time I bared down even more, committed to extend to the edges of my capacity. Again, jets of fluid misted over us. I was stunned at what had been building (or should I say stagnating) inside my body all these years.

He asked once more if I wanted to stop, but I knew I had one more peak to go. This child inside demanded to spread her legs freely and I knew she had not yet quite been birthed. The labor built up to the highest peak yet. And when it came time to surrender into absolute, a spark shot from my clit to his fingers and spread into the most heavenly agony imaginable. Never wanting it to end and wondering if I had the strength to take another moment.

I convulsed on the edge of light and dark. Heaven and earth. Ethereal and chthonic. The veils lifted and inside was nothing…and everything.

At the end of the final release I fell back and started laughing. Endlessly laughing with wicked, wild, wet abandon. The orgasmic joke overtook me and one hilarious and dangerous truth emerged: this was only the beginning.

Ben pulled his fingers out of me. They stepped out of the room. I inhaled and surrendered into the sopping sheets, afterglow washing over my newborn body.

So, does Explosive Sexual Healing deliver? Yes. In more ways than one.

If OMing is like brushing your teeth, then Explosive Sexual Healing is like going to the dentist.

After the session, I found myself flooded with life. I was glowing and wanted to share my turn-on, as well as integrate and metabolize the energy. I took a yoga class, walked for 30-minutes through the Mission and went out dancing for three hours before collapsing into my lover’s arms that night.

Who needs coffee when you’ve got orgasm?

Think about all the little addictions we have to escape taking responsibility for our power: caffeine, alcohol, shopping, hard-n-fast sex, television, sugar, etc.

Or imagine the money we spend in endless therapy sessions, plastic surgery, punitive gym classes or pointless fashion magazines in the vain attempt to attain ‘perfection.’

What orgasm teaches us is that the nourishment we seek resides inside of us, and can never be found no matter how many ‘hot sex tips’ we learn or how many doughnuts we stuff inside our souls. And this orgasmic nourishment is a bottomless resource we can tap into anytime. All we have to do is say ‘yes’ to our pleasure and surrender to her wisdom.

As for the name? Well, according to the Rodes, ‘Sensual Hypnotherapeutic Release’ was too long for a web address. Plus, ‘Explosive Sexual Healing’ is simply one URL no one ever forgets.

**************************************************************************************************************

Ben and Jen Rode are currently taking clients. For women, they offer a 90-day Ultimate Self Empowerment Program for $4997 as well as a 5-day World Traveler’s VIP Rapid Transformation Retreat for $2997. For men (or women) who would like to learn how to give G-Spot orgasms, Ben offers a one-on-one training program for $1997. And for the curious but hesitant, Ben and Jen have a 90-minute, clothing-on intro session for only $147.

Email Ben Rode at Ben@ExplosiveSexualHealing.com for more info.
Or check out their Website and Facebook.

 

Like elephant journal gets sexy on Facebook.

Ed: Kate Bartolotta

About Candice Holdorf

Candice Holdorf is currently working on her book, “From 6 to 9 and Beyond: Widening the Lens of Feminine Eroticism.” You can pre-order your copy here. She is a writer for elephantjournal and The Good Men Project, as well as a performer and public speaker specializing in desire, sexuality and Orgasmic Meditation. She is also a former yoga teacher and recovering anorexic who has discovered that there is tremendous power inside of hunger. Find out more about Candice on her blog, follower her on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube

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32 Responses to “Forget Coffee: Start Your Mornings with ‘Explosive Sexual Healing.’ {Adult} ~ Candice Holdorf”

  1. Joe Mohr says:

    Great piece, Candice!

  2. stacy says:

    Amazing!!!!! I want to do this !!

  3. Alyssa says:

    There so much in here that I want to support and encourage, but I feel like the true message is utterly lost in the goal-oriented quest for the orgasm. The magic here is not in the orgasm. It is in accepting that we have the right and means to feel pleasure. And, more importantly, in acknowledging that we must carve out the time to experience pleasure. It is NOT in the orgasm itself. I get endlessly frustrated by people who continue to put the "goal" of sexual pleasure in the achievement of orgasm. This singular approach to sexuality leaves out many people who, for whatever reason, have a hard time achieving orgasm. It leads to a sense of failure and stress in many people. It leads many people to believe that either they are doing it wrong or worse, they ARE wrong.This is what leads to us pathologizing people who experience sex differently. Women need pills to orgasm, men need pills for erections, older people need pills to last longer, we all need to be doing it RIGHT otherwise we are literally sick. But worst of all, it ignores that sexuality, more than anything else, is about every tiny step along the way, not just the destination. It is about every sigh, kiss, caress , fantasy, smell and tingle. It is about the mere act of accepting pleasure as a right, and making room for it in your life. However it feels best to you. It is not about orgasm. It is about embracing the full spectrum of your sexuality, for yourself.

    • I wholeheartedly agree that equating the goal of CLIMAX to our personal validation is what is utterly destroying the sense of play, freedom and acceptance in our sex. However, what this method (and others) teach is an expanded definition of orgasm–one that goes beyond climax and includes every sigh, kiss, caress, fantasy, smell and tingle.

      What these people do right is usher women in to deeper levels of their sexuality and take them to the edges of their potential. So that they have a visceral experience of what is inside of them and can come to create a personalized definition of orgasm–one that fits the full spectrum of their sexuality.

      Although there wasn't enough space here in an article, a good two thirds of the session was spent just receiving pleasure in the form of massage and deep breathing and repeating affirmations about how it was safe to let go and that I deserved pleasure. At no point did I feel pressure to perform or create a result or reach a goal.

      And FYI, I never climaxed at all during the session. Yes, the orgasm was wide and I was gushing, but it was a totally new sensation for me–more like birthing the orgasm rather than drawing up and crashing over the edge in climax.

      • vixenne87 says:

        Hi Candice,
        As someone who just recently went through a two week intensive training for Sexological Bodywork, I really wish you had mentioned in your main article that " a good two thirds of the session was spent just receiving pleasure in the form of massage and deep breathing and repeating affirmations about how it was safe to let go and that I deserved pleasure." I think that is extremely important and stressing the fact of including the whole body, conscious breath, movement, and sound rather than (just) getting off.
        I appreciate that you mentioned clothed, gloved, one-way touch (super important!). Sexological Bodywork is an umbrella term for many different experiences. Sexological Bodyworkers are there to facilitate those experiences for their clients which can look different session to session and client to client.

    • slp says:

      i disagree. it is absolutely about the orgasm. this is the space of powerful spiritual transcendance and healing. every woman deserves to orgasm.

  4. Monkey says:

    I love the focus that exists on womens sexuality, on developing, growing and connecting with that fountain that is womans sexuality….

    And I find myself also disappointed that the reverse emphasis is lacking.

    OMing has become a hit… yet there is actually a complementary practice that focuses on a mans orgasm (which is distinct from a womans yet I believe, and have had small experiences of, equally as capable of being immense, powerful and transformative), where has it disappeared to?

    For us men there seems to be a deepening of the already present disparity in sexuality. Not only do we need to be sex gods, yet now there is a new space to step in to to match the radiantly spiritual opening of empowered women these days… now we can hold the space for OMing, and explosive sexual healing and we can be there to to be the space for a womans opening.
    And I love that and am fully for that…

    And I would equally love to see an emerging focus on men's sexuality that is MORE than ejaculation or massaging a woman to orgasm.

    As women it is also possible to hold space for us men to work with our own shame and to open our bodies to the potential of non-ejaculatory male multiple orgasms (which are very real).

    • You are right Monkey. There are practices which focus on stroking a man's genitals, which are lovely and wonderful for all. And I encourage men to go and learn about non-ejaculatory orgasm (which is, by the way, an expression of feminine orgasm–which is very different from a woman having an orgasm).

      The recent boom in female sexuality is, as I see it, a swing of the pendulum in the other direction–to allow women and the feminine a place to rest and surrender. It was only 100 years ago that accredited MEDICAL JOURNALS believed that the clitoris was a useless organ and that women did not ejaculate.

      I am also noticing in your language the belief that when a woman is stroked, it is HER orgasm and when a man is stroked it is HIS orgasm. In fact, neither is true. What is happening is the two people are connecting and tapping into the SHARED orgasm between them.

      The focus on the feminine (not woman) orgasm also expands the definition from a crashing climax to so much more.

      And finally, don't worry. Men will still have plenty sex. In fact, if you stroke your woman, you will be having more sex than you can probably handle. And there is nothing more horrible than being stroked by a starving angry woman. You don't want to be around her passive aggressiveness or her outright nastiness.

      Stroke her first (and learn to release the transactional nature of orgasm) and you will then find that your liberation comes with her pleasure. Then it doesn't matter what part of the body is being touched. Your every cell vibrates with orgasm.

    • FeatherStory Aniweda says:

      Tantric healing goes into exactly what you speak of Monkey. Not everyone's definition of tantra is the same of course but there are tantrikas and dakinis who specialize in the other side of the coin and I wouldn't exactly say it's lacking.

  5. Jan Cay says:

    Correction. Penal Code section 647(b).

    • Candice Holdorf Candice Holdorf says:

      Actually you are incorrect. As mentioned in the article, with a Sexological Bodywork Certificate, what they do is legal in the states of CA and NV, as long as the sexual contact is not purely for the purpose of “gratification”.

      • Jan Cay says:

        No, you are incorrect. I have been a criminal defense attorney for 17 years. I can assure you having a sex worker certificate does not create an exception to the prohibition against prostitution which is mandated by statute. The jury instruction for this offense reads "A lewd act means touching the genitals, buttocks, or female breast of either person or customer with some part of the other person's body for the purpose of sexual gratification of either person."

        Given that you are describing having an orgasm as a result of this man touching you, you would have a harm time convincing anyone, much less a jury, that you were not seeking sexual gratification. That you were also seeking a spiritual experience does not nullify that you also were trying to have an orgasm. Really, consult a criminal defense attorney.

        • Jan Cay says:

          Your statement that these activities are legal so long as they are "not purely" for the purposes of sexual gratification is not the law in California. As long as sexual gratification is one purpose, even if not the sole purpose, is sufficient for liability to attach under the prostitution statute. I say this only to warn your readers against contacting this couple without first obtaining legal advice.

      • As an assistant faculty member for the United States Certification course in Sexological Bodywork I want to clarify the legality issue. Sadly, Sexological Bodywork IS NOT legal in CA. It is not legal to touch people's genitals for money. But the state of California has agreed that the training is academically sound and has granted the Institute for The Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (where we teach this course) to confer certificates to its Sexological Bodywork graduates. But it's still a federal offense to charge people money to touch their genitals. Were a certified Sexological Bodyworker to get prosecuted (its never happened to date) they would arguably have a stronger process to acquittal if they can prove that they were engaging in practices within the ethics specifically stated by the Association of Sexological Bodyworkers (gloved, one-way touch etc). So no Candace, it is not legal. It should be, but it's not.

        • Jan Cay says:

          Again, as an experienced criminal defense attorney I disagree that you would have a greater chance of acquittal for prostitution as a Sexological Bodyworker. The sole issue for the jury would be whether the worker touched another person's genitals or breasts for the purpose of sexual arousal or sexual gratification of either person, in exchange for money or other compensation. Ethical codes and the undoubtedly good intentions of the workers are irrelevant. Christiane, I reviewed your school's application for certification at EDD, which appears to have licensed your school for a Sexological Bodywork class. In your application, your organization did not disclose that touching genitalia in exchange for money was part of your curriculum. Therefore, any argument that the State of California sanctioned your curriculum to include this conduct is incorrect. That said, I completely and totally agree with you that this should be legalized.

          • Well Jan, I appreciate your diligence here, yet you are misinformed about your assessment of the veracity and thoroughness of the state of CA's certification process. In fact, they viewed over twenty hours of explicit educational video material, the very videos we still use today to teach students and based on that viewing and the written curriculum they approved the certification. Still, it's barely a foot in the door of legalizing but we must start somewhere.

  6. Adam says:

    "Explosive Sexual Healing literally throws grenades both into our mental and physical paradigms of sexuality."

    Utilizing the new definition of "literally", eh?
    If enough people use a word incorrectly, it becomes standardized. Great.

  7. Muks says:

    Thank you for this article. Just today I got very annoyed when two male Facebook friends liked and shared articles written from women for women against premarital sex and abortion. As these guys are not close friends and obviously not on a wave length with me, I unfriended them. I am quite irritated that these articles were mostly liked by men. Your writing just restore my faith in society, even in the American society. Our bodies and our sexualities are ours in the way that we decide what to do with our bodies and when to surrender and connect. Thanks again.

  8. Freya Watson Freya Watson says:

    Being on the other side of the Atlantic, I won't contribute to the debate on the legal issues above, fascinating though it has been to follow it. Candice, I just wanted to leave a brief comment to say thank you for writing and sharing the experience. If all of us who have ventured into that territory speak openly and freely about what it's like, it offers an opportunity for those who haven't yet had the opportunity to do so to at least start to take steps in the direction of a fuller, more engaged, relationship with their sexuality. It may not be for everyone to visit experienced bodyworkers, but hearing about the possibilities that lie deep within the body can lead to greater exploration and sharing within loving relationships and also alone.

  9. KAK says:

    I'd rather explode with someone I care about instead of a stranger.

  10. Bannigan McDade says:

    As someone who recently finished the intensive part of the 2013 Sexological Bodywork certification course in San Francisco, it's heartening to see the discussion about this topic reaching a broader audience. It is also unfortunate that Ben's marketing diverges from transparency around at least one key concept that underpins Sexological Bodywork. Sexological Bodywork is not a healing modality (hypnotherapy and Reiki aside). The certification is state approved for educational purposes only, and Sexological Bodywork is purposefully framed as educational, not for healing or entertainment. Joseph Kramer, the founder, has stated that a better name for the practice would be Somatic Sex Education(however, Sexological Bodywork is name by which it is certified by the state). This is an important distinction for many reasons, not least of which is empowering the clients and placing the locus of any newfound potential on them, rather than the practitioner. With the amount of integrity this relatively young practice requires on many fronts, I feel it is even more essential that the marketing be transparently connected to the core principles of the modalities utilized, particularly when one of the modalities is meant to form the legal basis for the practice, memorable URLs aside.

    • Ben Rode says:

      You’re missing something important, Bannigan McDade. Explosive Sexual Healing consists of many modalities and styles, and we use all of them at different points in our sessions. The part of our session that is sexological bodywork is the somatic sex education part, and Not the “healing” part. Conversely, the part of the session that is the energy work is not the sex education part. Make sense?

  11. I do believe all of the concepts you have presented in your post. They are very convincing and will definitely work. Still, the posts are very brief for beginners. May just you please prolong them a bit from next time? Thank you for the post.

  12. I had a friend that use to tell anybody that spended a little time with him, that all problems in the world would dissappear if people had sex instead of coffee ;)

  13. Nick says:

    this is basically really stellar prostitution for women. If guys could meet up with women who could give healing hand jobs I'm all in.

  14. Ben Rode says:

    Hi again, Jan!

    I just want to be clear, the genital touch is not part of the program. Nobody pays for genital touch.

    Thanks for your concern :)

    Much love,
    Ben

  15. Brian says:

    Kamala Harris, current Attorney General of California, has been quoted in mainstream media as saying that Surrogate Partner Therapy is not illegal. Surrogate Partner Therapy is not the same thing as sexological bodywork, but it does involve touching clients' genitals, and the surrogate partner does get paid. Is the Attorney General mistaken? Do you think a public statement by the AG that something is not illegal would be useful in a criminal defense?

  16. Brad says:

    “Is surrogate partner therapy legal and ethical?

    No state has any laws which prohibit surrogate partner therapy. In California, at least two cases involving a therapist referring to a surrogate partner were reviewed by the CA State Licensing Review Boards and in each case the board determined that no unethical behavior was present. According to an article in the San Jose Mercury News, Kamala Harris of the Alameda County DA’s Office (and later, California Attorney General) stated unequivocally, ”If it’s between consensual adults and referred by licensed therapists and doesn’t involve minors, then it’s not illegal.” Additionally, in August 2010, the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT) affirmed that if the surrogate partner is properly trained and educated, surrogate partner therapy is not unethical.”

    Source:
    http://www.thesexsurrogate.com/?page_id=137

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