It’s the archetypical scene of every typical frat party: groups of girls dancing in the middle of the dance floor, surrounded by boys eyeing them out.
Sometimes, the guys make their move but most of the time they stand huddled around the edges of a big circle with their buddies. I’ve been to my fair share of frat parties and I can confess I never saw a girl reject any guy who has gone up to her and asked if she wanted to dance (politely, including a name-exchange, body contact (in moderation) and a direct eye-fuck).
For some reason though, a lot of the boys who are more hesitant about approaching girls at parties are the ones who are cute and genuine and would not have an issue with finding someone even just for the night if they tried.
Yet, they don’t get anyone for one simple reason: they don’t even try.
When was the last time you said,
“I’m awesome! I deserve to be treated like the great person I am,” or
“I should go and at try everything I can do to land that job because I know they would be lucky to have someone like me”?
I’d like to venture a guess: not during the last week…or year.
We all hear the buzz about climate change, global warming and specie extinctions. Without a doubt, these are huge problems that our policymakers and legislators need to try to solve.
But I believe there is a greater problem that is overlooked in the media, which directly impacts our generation in an overwhelming way: low self-esteem.
Ridiculous, right? How could not believing in yourself be a bigger problem than global warming?
Not accepting oneself doesn’t only mean that you are less likely to go and try to grind on that girl because you think she’ll reject you. Or that you won’t wear that revealing outfit because you think you won’t look good in it so you hide yourself under layers of needless clothing.
It also means that you are less likely to go ahead and try to do things that could have a glorious impact on the world.
You might not apply for that job where you could find the cure for cancer (that may be a slight exaggeration, but you get the point) or get going on that start-up that could save lives because you don’t think you can do it.
It is a great loss not only for you, it is a loss for our whole humanity. I deeply hope that we all realize what great and unlimited potential we possess. All of us are all intrinsically born unique and we cannot be scared to live up to the tools nature has provided us with.
Don’t be scared of victory; it may appear to be an overwhelming beast but it becomes your greatest asset once you tame it by acceptance.
Don’t live in fear of failure—live in fear of not living up to your name.
Kasia Budzen is a Polish (though she’d describe herself as European) native navigating her way through higher education in Boulder. She enjoys distilling college into a larger life perspective. She enjoys photography, reading, yoga,cooking delicious vegan food as well as taking in the many beautiful scenes that Colorado has to offer from up high. She always enjoys a pleasant surprise over a well-brewed cup of coffee, laughing and being around inspirational people.
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Assistant Ed: Terri Tremblett/Ed: Bryonie Wise
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July’s Full Moon in Capricorn: The Heart wants what it Wants. The 4 Stages of a Good Divorce. How to Love a Woman who Scares You. Our Soulmates are Rarely Who We Expect. I Still Think of You. Men, Let’s Stop Fooling Ourselves: Size Matters. To the One Who Tried to Break Me. An Open Letter to the Fixers. How your Stored Memories in the Amygdala can lead to PTSD. How My Sister’s Death Transformed my Self-Perception.