Remember your first crush?
My first crush involved a girl named Kim in the eighth grade. She was cute, popular, and because the first initials of our last name were close together in the alphabet, and catholic schools seated people alphabetically, she always sat in front of me.
After a year of staring at her curly brown hair during religion class, I finally got up the nerve to ask if I could call her over summer break. She said she couldn’t give out her number but she could take mine.
I was so excited and all I had to do now was wait for Kim to call.
And boy oh boy, did I wait! I sat next to the phone in the early days of summer. I harassed my older siblings not to use the phone because Kim might call. When I got exhausted I would sleep on the floor under the phone. You have probably guessed by now Kim never called. I was bereft at 13 years old. For many years to come my mom would refer to that summer as the “moping summer.” Now, I just chuckle when I think of all the hours I spent waiting by the phone for someone that was never going to call.
I’ve been thinking lately how much time people spend waiting for the phone to ring. How someone waits for the new career to find them. How a parent waits for someone else to suggest they take the trip of a life time.
More importantly, I wonder, what may I have missed by waiting for the phone to ring?
A good friend of mine who recently lost someone very dear to her is waiting. In her mourning, she didn’t have the capacity to reach out or plan activities as the logistics of closing out a life can be overwhelming and time consuming. When her friends asked her what support she needed, she said, “Call me. Take me out to distract me. Invite me to activities.”
Her phone never rang.
Now, lonely, as the tide of grief subsides, and the shock of the insensitivity that her friends showed sets in, she is left with the question: How long does she wait for the phone to ring? Does she call them? Shouldn’t her grief and mourning during one of the most difficult times in her life have trumped her friend’s inability to reach out and connect? How long should she wait for them the phone to ring? If she waits too long, will she lose the friendship?
If they couldn’t call during the most difficult time of her life, do they deserve her friendship?
I’ve been a writer for a long time; however the last few years not so much. I kept waiting for the writing opportunity to find me. Even this article—yes, you guessed it—the phone rang with a friend asking me to write something. So, thanks Friend!
I won’t wait for the phone to ring next time.
So, here’s to a summer of not staring at the phone hoping it will ring. Not waiting for someone else to suggest planning that trip. Not waiting to start that new creative endeavor with a long time friend. Even if someone says they are going to call, wait. Just don’t wait too long.
Don’t worry Kim, I’m not going to call–after 30 years, we all know that would be creepy!
Rick Fiori is yoga teacher in Maryland and Washington, DC area who believes that yoga should be a heart-opening experience that is supportive as well as empowering to the student. He teaches in a way that creates and develops mindfulness, is physically challenging and ultimately therapeutic. After years of struggling with back pain Rick started to explore the healing qualities of yoga. What started out as a purely physical practice quickly turned into a spiritual endeavor. He full-heartedly teaches from his belief that yoga is a pathway in to the patterns that get lodged in the mind and body over a lifetime, no matter how short or long that lifetime is. It’s these patterns that prevent us from being who we are truly designed to be. And through the consistent physical practice of poses, meditation and breath work, the body and mind is proven to be amazingly adaptive and resilient. He is committed to every student leaving his classes feeling better then when they walked in.
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