Sometimes I need to be pushed to the brink to take serious action; sometimes I need a fire lit under my ass to take action.
When struggling to find a balance between what serves me, what feeds my truth and, simultaneously, what provides security, sometimes I fall into panic and doubt just as my intentions and actions are about to come to fruition.
But who doesn’t? Who doesn’t get scared when facing things for the first time, serious things, like survival, shelter, food? When the basics are threatened, we are threatened at our base. Our foundation gets rocked, pushing us to do something about it.
That’s when faith and trust come in. That’s when we really need to know and believe that we’re supported every step of the way. That’s when we need to become silent, emptying ourselves of the physical and emotional toxins we ritually ingest and manifest and just let things flow.
Sounds like complete bullshittery. Yes, I am awares.
But when you’re at the bottom, struggling to make ends meet—to keep a roof over your head and food in your bell—you come to a point of surrender, realizing that all the stress you’ve been filling your mind and body with is actually what has lead you to this point. All this negativity and anger and blame and resentment and guilt that have been dominating your days and sleepless nights are the real culprits.
It’s your job to discipline your mind and keep them the fuck out. Hold that shit at bay. Be mindful of the thoughts and ideas and energies you let inside, then reinforce those walls and refuse to let anything less than inside.
And then flexibility comes into play.
What have stubbornness and refusal to change kept away? What opportunities have not been seized simply because the veil of stress and struggle kept us blinded to them? What are we willing to change in order to either sustain or transform our experience?
Heavy stuff. Jarring questions. I can literally feel my brain twisting and screaming at the mention of them.
But that’s good—that’s the stuff of greatness. That’s the stuff of huge growth and transformation.
That’s the stuff that creates the times that hold the most spectacular possibilities of surpassing all that we thought we were, literally dangling the seeds of what we could become in front of us, taunting us with the idea that if we could just get the fuck over ourselves and out of our own way, we might just be able to become what we’ve always known we could be.
Buck the fuck up, camperoo—it’s go time.
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Ed: Bryonie Wise
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July’s Full Moon in Capricorn: The Heart wants what it Wants. The 4 Stages of a Good Divorce. A Letter to my Children: You do not come from a Broken Home. Our Soulmates are Rarely Who We Expect. Men, Let’s Stop Fooling Ourselves: Size Matters. To the One Who Tried to Break Me. An Open Letter to the Fixers. Mom, can I Call her Mom, Too? How your Stored Memories in the Amygdala can lead to PTSD. Jon Stewart makes first appearance since retiring—”it’s not your country.”