She was Done.

Via Adrienne Pieroth
on Apr 28, 2015
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She was done not fully being herself.

She realized she was the only self she could be—and not being unapologetically true to herself was a disservice to her soul and the world.

She was done listening to the noise of the world. She realized the quiet voice of her own soul was the most beautiful sound.

She was done questioning her motives, her intentions, the call of her soul. She realized questions seek answers, and maybe she already knew the answers.

She was done striving, forcing, pushing through and staying on the hard path. She realized toughing things out might be a sign to pick another path.

She was done with friends that admonished her to be more light and breezy. She realized they didn’t understand she swam in the deep waters of life, she felt at home in their dark depths and died if she lived on the surface.

She was done with the distractions, the denials, the small addictions that pulled her away from the true desires of her soul. She realized that strength of character came from focus and commitment.

She was done not following the desires that yelled out in her soul every day. She realized if she did nothing about them, they died a quiet death that took a piece of her soul with them.

She was done with dinner parties and cocktail hours where conversations skimmed the surface of life. She realized the beverages created distortion and a temporary happiness that wasn’t real and disappeared in the light of the day.

She was done trying to please everyone. She realized it could never be done.

She was done questioning herself. She realized her heart knew the truth and she needed to follow it.

She was done analyzing all the options, weighing the pros and cons and trying to figure everything out before leaping. She realized that taking a leap implied not fully seeing where she landed.

She was done battling with herself, trying to change who she knew herself to be. She realized the world made it hard enough to fully be herself, so why add to the challenge.

She was done worrying, as if worry was the price she had to pay to make it all turn out okay. She realized worry didn’t need to be part of the process.

She was done apologizing and playing small to make others feel comfortable and fit in. She realized fitting in was overrated and shining her light made others brave enough to do the same.

She was done with the should’s, ought to’s and have to’s of the world. She realized the only must’s in her life came from things that beat so strong in her soul, she couldn’t not do them.

She was done with remorse and could have’s. She realized hindsight never applies because circumstances always look different in the rearview mirror and you experience life looking through the front window.

She was done with friendships based on shared history and past experiences. She realized if friends couldn’t grow together, or were no longer following the same path, it was okay to let them go.

She was done trying to fit in—be part of the popular crowd. She realized the price she had to pay to be included was too high and betrayed her soul.

She was done not trusting. She realized she had placed her trust in people that were untrustworthy—so she would start with the person she could trust the most—herself.

She was done being tired. She realized it came from spending her time doing things that didn’t bring her joy or feed her soul.

She was done trying to figure it all out, know the answers, plan everything and see all the possibilities before she began. She realized life was unfolding and that the detours and unexpected moments were some of the best parts.

She was done needing to be understood by anyone but herself. She realized she was the only person she would spend her whole with and understanding herself was more important than being understood by others.

She was done looking for love. She realized loving and accepting herself was the best kind of love and the seed from which all other love started.

She was done fighting, trying to change or not her accepting her body. She realized the body she came into the world with was the only one she had—there were no exchanges or returns—so love and acceptance was the only way.

She was done being tuned in, connected and up-to-date all the time. She realized the news and noise of the world was always there—a cacophony that never slowed or fell quiet and that listening to the silence of her soul was a better station to tune into.

She was done beating herself up and being so hard on herself as if either of these things led to changes or made her feel better. She realized kindness and compassion towards herself and others accomplished more.

She was done comparing and looking at other people’s lives as a mirror for her own. She realized holding her own mirror cast her in the best, most beautiful light.

She was done being quiet, unemotional and holding her tongue. She realized her voice and her emotions could be traced back to her deepest desires and longings. if she only followed their thread.

She was done having to be right. She realized everyone’s truth was relative and personal to themselves, so the only right that was required was the one that felt true for her.

She was done not feeling at home in the world. She realized she might never feel at home in the world, but that feeling at home in her soul was enough.

She was done being drained by others—by people who didn’t want to take the time for their own process and saw shortcuts though hers. She realized she could share her experience, but everyone needed to do the work themselves.

She was done thinking she had so much to learn. She realized she already knew so much, if she only listened.

She was done trying to change others or make them see things. She realized she could only lead by example and whether they saw or followed was up to them.

She was done with the inner critic. She realized its voice was not her own.

She was done racing and being discontent with where she was. She realized the present moment held all it needed to get her to the next moment. It wasn’t out there—it was right here.

She was done seeing hurt as something to be avoided, foreseen or somehow her fault. She realized hurt shaped her as much as joy and she needed both to learn and grow.

She was done judging. She realized judging assumed the presence of right and wrong—and that there was a difference between using information to inform and making someone else wrong.

She was done jumping to conclusions. She realized she only needed to ask.

She was done with regrets. She realized if she had known better she would have done better.

She was done being angry. She realized anger was just a flashlight that showed her what she was most scared of and once it illuminated what she needed to see, she no longer needed to hold on to it.

She was done being sad. She realized sorrow arose when she betrayed her own soul and made choices that weren’t true to herself.

She was done playing small. She realized if others couldn’t handle her light, it was because they were afraid of their own.

She was done with the facades and the pretending. She realized masks were suffocating and claustrophobic.

She was done with others’ criticism and complaints. She realized they told her nothing about herself—only informed her of their perspective.

She was done yelling above the noise of the world. She realized living out loud could be done quietly.

She was done needing permission, validation or the authority. She realized she was her her own authority.

She was done being something she was not. She realized the purpose of life was to be truly, happily who she was born to be…and if she paused long enough to remember, she recognized herself.





Carpe Diem:

How I took the Leap and Found my Freedom.


Bonus: What to do after you’ve let go:

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Author: Adrienne Pieroth

Editor: Travis May

Photo: Flickr/Michael Goghlan


About Adrienne Pieroth

Adrienne Pieroth is a meditation teacher, single mother of two teenage boys, conscious co-parent, writer, mindful technologist and lover of all things human, mindful and heartfelt. Before leaving the world of high tech to raise her sons, she was a network engineer and systems designer. She still loves technology and works to raise people’s consciousness around their digital presence and the use of technology in their lives. She lives between Santa Fe, NM and Los Angeles, CA and can usually be found hiking in the mountains or walking on the beach.


124 Responses to “She was Done.”

  1. Dori says:

    Amazing, beautiful and soul touching!
    Blessings ~

  2. Robyn M Speed - Writer says:

    Oh my God … this is BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You speak the words that so many of us need to read, to remind us … We are done.

    Thank you.
    Robyn M Speed

  3. Wendy-luu says:

    Brilliant! This went right to the middle of my soul. Thank you so much for sharing these eloquent and profound words and thoughts Adrienne

  4. Jess says:

    She was finally in her 40's. Single mom….. :) I resonated so much with this.

  5. Tiffany Corry says:

    First of all I want to say that I really appreciated some of your points about being true to your own unique self. However, I do not understand how you can encourage the thought of being "done" with so many thoughts and feelings that in some cases actually help with the growth of your best self and relationships in life. Quoting your post "She was done questioning her motives, her intentions, the call of her soul…
    …She realized they didn’t understand she swam in the deep waters of life, she felt at home in their dark depths and died if she lived on the surface." These are from two separate paragraphs, but are contradictions. How do you "swim in the deep waters of life" if you are "done questioning motives and intentions"? Quite frankly I feel like your whole message is a contradiction. How do you expect to gain rich family and friend relationships with you are constantly and singularity only concerned about what makes you happy? Sometimes life is about compromise and self cristism to discover what you need to develop and work on. You are doing a disservice to anyone who reads this and thinks this is the thought process to happiness.

    • Dear Tiffany, you have expressed you point very well.
      I guess it is exactly about claiming this "outrageous" freedom expressed in all these contradictions. "Swimming in deep waters" at one point, AND allowing to stop questioning motives and intentions (that have usually been analysed to death by a person of deep waters anyway…) – all that is ok. That's in it for me. Thank you.

    • alpieroth says:

      This piece is not about happiness it's about being true to yourself, and being true to yourself is a long, slow, deep process…one I have been faithfully working on for years. It's especially hard when the world tries to tell you what your truth is, and in today's social media and technology world that constantly sends your mixed signals, it's even harder. I do swim in the deep waters of consciously trying to look at my choices and seeing if they come from my soul or the ego/world. Being done with the questioning my motives, intentions, etc. speaks to listening to my head rather than my heart, of not picking the shallow questioning, over the deeper knowing I already worked hard to find. Being done also doesn't mean that you don't gain rich family and friend relationships…in fact, quiet the contrary. When you are done and clear your life of the surface things, from the relationships that take more than they give, from friendships that don't feed either of your souls, etc. the ones you are left with are much stronger and deeper. My sole focus is not simply on happiness nor do I claim to offer the thought process for happiness. A life well lived has it's moments of happiness and joy, but it also has depth, connections, service and, yes, sometimes sacrifice and sorrow. I don't run from any of those things. In fact they add to my appreciation of the joyful moments, when they do arrive. I live my life in service in so many ways…but it is service from my true self…not the obligated, don't have a choice, or filled with resentment service…which often happens when your choices aren't made consciously. These are my choices that I am done with, that weren't choices of truth and awareness for me.

  6. Lisa says:

    This is so where I am! Feeling free to be me! The ME THAT GOD intended! No internal rejections of my thoughts, perceptions or instincts and tuitions. Fully trusting that God made me as I am, for His reasons! My soul will lead me, to wherever I need to be!

  7. Stephanie says:

    So perfect.

  8. Barbara Hughes says:

    This totally hit home for me. I have been practicing exactly what you have written about and wanted to say thank you for sharing this with the world. Sometimes we aren't able to capture what we have learned and don't realize how far we've come until we see how someone else has so beautiful packaged their thoughts. It just resonates so well. It was so beautifully written. I would like to print it out as an inspiring way to write and to live! Thanks so much!

  9. Jason says:

    The part about this that gets confusing for most people (in my experience) is simply the perspective. From my perspective, after purging in much the same way that is explained above, I have found that everything in life comes exactly when it does, when it should, and for good reason. I’ve also kept track of a few times in life where I tried when I ‘thought’ it was right to do so, but felt otherwise, and ended up facing hardship almost instantly. Nowadays I just get up and don’t have plans. The day takes me where I need to go, for pain or pleasure etc., and I follow, using the skills I have learned. I know in my very being that I am here to become something which this world cannot truly understand and may never get the chance to witness, and, in the most paradoxical way possible, everyone else is here for the same reason. Most people don’t realize this, though, and that is the trick. So many people waste their lives attempting to gain materials when growing their spirit into something respectable is the true way towards material gain and physical happiness. We also view death as the end, or that there is just one way to salvation when the truth is simply inside us and every path is valid. So, what’s your favorite dream? Could that possibly be real? fun question: How can we think things which we have never seen? Last question: How, in this universe, which is full of so many different configurations of matter, yet decidedly limited due to our functional perspective, can one mind, in it’s apparent limitedness, understand at least the feeling of infinity and/or eternity. To never end, and never to have began, and only to have been. The precedent for such a being is the -[NOW]-

  10. LISSA says:


  11. Kate says:

    This changed my life! Thank you so much for your inspiring words! As a mother of 4 , I haven’t focused on myself enough, and your words have woken me up to that. Now I’m ready to change! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  12. Eloquent and soul touching! Every woman should read and take this to heart.

  13. Mel says:

    This touched my soul so very deep it brought a tear to my eyes. Beautiful. I am so done. x

  14. julie says:

    amazing… touching and something everyone should read:) thank you

  15. Sandy says:

    Wow. Perfect for me right now. I'm also forwarding this to some friends who I know are done. I'm sure they'll appreciate this as much as I did!!! Thank you!!

  16. Emma says:

    Would you read this differently if the photo at the top were different?

  17. Lu Ann says:

    Funny, how things happen in your life. I too am done and mostly for the same reasons. Because I have reached that point in my life, I have also put in for retirement. Eight nine days and I am truly free to be. Life is too short to have to live by someone else's standards and ideas. You can't please anyone anymore, so be true to yourself. You are the one that truly matters. Here's to living in the light.

  18. Letitia parashis says:

    I think after all the explanation and introspectionism that the Lord would wisely and lovingly say to us we must die to self
    We are to make it about our Lord Jesus Christ and only then will we be safely on the path to follow Him Blessings to all. PS. I was very moved by thee initial “I am done… And also with everyone’s comments

  19. Melissa says:

    This article is so spot on and very well said! This is exactly what I’ve been slowly doing in my life and it feels great :) thank you!

  20. Robin Sagara says:

    Profound. True. Life-changing. I know well the feeling of being “done.” Thank you!

  21. Darla says:

    Absolutely beautiful!! Brings my life back into perspective to where I want to be. Thank you! Amazing words to forever hold on to, to reflect back on when needed.

  22. Tanya says:

    This is awesome – I have printed and pasted into my journal(the old fashioned way) to read daily. I hope i can use parts of it in the workshops that I run for teens girls – they need to know this stuff early – beautiful and so very wise – thanks you for sharing x

  23. Katie says:

    This could not have come at a better time. This is exactly how I feel. I literally said the other day I am just done. Although the high road is a lonely place it is what is in my heart. I can’t be responsible for how people feel of how they react or respond to me, I can only be responsible for me. Love this so so much!!

  24. Tracy says:

    Wow. Every day I say "I am done" in reference to the way my life seems out of my control. Maybe it's time to do something about it!

  25. Ying Ho says:

    Thank you so much for sharing your insightful wisdom! May all beings be benifited from your sharings!
    Manny blessings!
    Metta _()_

  26. Belinda says:


  27. Patsy Mitchell says:

    Loved it…every single word. Thank you.

  28. Helen says:

    Are you living inside my head? If i was as eloquent, i might have writren that word for word. Fantastic.

  29. Harjit says:

    Took my breath away. I felt as if I was reading my very own inner thoughts. So well written out. Thank you from the deepest part of my soul.

  30. angie says:

    I have been here for a while now. Exactly where Iam. Tired of everyone around me bringing me down to there level. The past few years I feel like I have gone backwards in life. Its time to start thinking of yourself. That's what people are telling me. And I think they are right. My kids are grown now and I think I need to find myself again. Not sure how to do that.

  31. Ashley says:

    this is so beautifully written and soul touching. I can’t tell you how much I identify with each statement and how perfect it is to read and listen to. You touch so many hearts and they all have the choice to recondition their intentions after reading this. Thank you for giving them, and myself, that opportunity. I will read this time and time again when I need to be reminded of who I am, and that it’s perfect to be exactly that. Saying “thank you” nearly scratches the surface.

  32. Ashley says:

    this is so beautifully written and soul touching. I can't tell you how much I identify with each statement and how perfect it is to read and listen to. You touch so many hearts and they all have the choice to recondition their intentions after reading this. Thank you for giving them, and myself, that opportunity. I will read this time and time again when I need to be reminded of who I am, and that it's perfect to be exactly that. Saying "thank you" nearly scratches the surface.

  33. cecarow says:

    Thank you for this.

  34. Holly says:

    I was sharing some thoughts and pondering with a close friend when he stopped me mid-sentence. He said, "Oh my God! She Was Done. You're telling me everything in this piece I recently read." He sent me to this page and I cried. I wasn't yet able to put it into words. Thank you for helping me to get to that place with the gift of your words! I have shared this with so many other dear friends, all who were stopped in their tracks as well. A collective deep breath. Namaste

  35. Jill says:

    Without getting into all the details of WHY, this piece speaks to me – profoundly and deeply. Thank you so much for writing it. I started to read the comments but realized they mean nothing to me and what I personally received from this article – which, I think, is precisely your point :)

  36. Dani says:

    Thank you. I'm 26 and needed this.

  37. Garima says:

    Thanks for sharing this… it brought me a lot of peace ! I am truly inspired!

  38. danicalifornia74 says:

    Wow, can't believe I've come across this now…what a great timing…I hadn't been fully aware of it, but it is exactly how I am feeling at the moment, it hits the nail on the head! Thanks you for this wonderful piece! May it inspire many women!

  39. Micah says:

    Wonderful! Resonates beautifully with me…

  40. Robin says:

    My mother is passing and I had been searching for days for something poignant to read at the service. I had taken a break from finding the right piece that would honor her when I came across this incredible writing. It's so poetic and Mom could have written this about herself. The beauty of your words have touched me and I want to share with my family. I will be going back to the hospital shortly and will read this to my mother. Although we will not see her smile, I know she can hear and her spirit will be touched. Much gratitude.

  41. Tergali says:

    Thank you for remind us that the end of many things that use to be important is only the beginning of a new life no matter if we are 20, 40 60 at some point we realize life is full of colors moments and opportunities waiting for us to enjoy and share

  42. Bijou says:

    Totally wonderful! Thank you.

  43. Monique says:

    I have been feeling “done” for the last year now. I know my life is moving slowly in a new direction and I am ready. Thank You for putting my feelings into words.

  44. Laura Guthrie says:

    Beautiful! Thank you ❤️

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