We heal by believing ourselves well.

When we operate from a center of wholeness and wellness, rather than trying to correct a problem and sickness, then we are well.

Something forbidden. I had loved someone forbidden to me.

I held my secret in my heart, and it made me sick. My heart couldn’t hold it all, so it started to cough it up. It started tucking the pieces away in tubes, only those were the tubes air was supposed to travel through, and now there were traffic jams.

I held it in myself, and it was so truly visceral that my very joints swelled with the pain of it. My spinal column began to freeze, holding itself together to keep from flying into a million bits because of the thing lying deep within my core.

I hold it, still.

It has come out of my lips to a select few, but still it is my secret—still, I wrestle with it in the witching hours of the early morning—still, I fling myself about, trying to knock it out of me, yet holding on to it at the last minute.

It took writing these truths down for me to realize why I wasn’t getting better.

I thought, “I am not keeping this a total secret. Why, then, is it affecting me like one? It’s because I will not let it go. It’s because I still cling to a strange, strange dream.”

It’s because I still hope for the impossible.

~

Relephant:

The Secrets I Keep.

~

Author: Talley Beth Gale

Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock

Photo: flickr, flickr