[Author’s Note: Sometimes I read a piece that is absolutely lovely, but absolutely not me. Sometimes I wish to respond to it—to offer another perspective. I intend to do this in a mindful, constructive and meaningful way. This is one of those times.]

If you have found a woman (or man!) who knows exactly how to be loved, don’t run away.

If she intimidates you, tell her. She will laugh—a real, genuine laugh—with surprise, and you will immediately feel more comfortable.

You must realize that the qualities some would call “demanding” or “high maintenance” are simply confidence. This woman will not settle for anything less than the love she deserves; she expects to receive love in equal measure to that which she freely offers.

A woman who knows exactly how to be loved is “pushy.” She is fierce. She is lovably, infuriatingly stubborn. Love her for it. (What else could you do?)

Love her as she loves herself and as she might love you: without reservations.

She is the free spirit dancing on stage. She is the stranger who holds eye contact far longer than normal. She is the wild one who chooses when—and if—to approach. She is the quiet one whose heart yet burns with self-knowing.

Does she know everything?

No. She knows nothing at all. She knows that she knows nothing.

Only, she knows what she needs.

This woman—this unabashedly open, introspective being—might seem fearless.

Is she afraid?

Yes. She is as scared of love and heartbreak, as vulnerable as everyone else.

And still, she embraces it all.

The walls she builds are of straw—in the face of passion they quickly burn.

She will tell you exactly how she needs to be loved because she knows this. You will not need any other how-to’s; after all, who could better instruct you than your lover herself?

If you listen carefully, you shouldn’t be too confused. She will probably repeat herself often and might write verses on “how to love a woman who knows exactly how to be loved.”

She is a letter-writer, a note-leaver, a poem-sharer. She loves to understand the world through words—not least of all herself.

She loves for the world to understand her through words.

Now, do you know how to be loved? Do you know what you need?

A woman who knows exactly how to be loved will want to know. She will ask you these questions and be surprised when you cannot answer as quickly as she.

Ask for her patience as you take time to think about it.

Finally, if you want to know how to love a woman who knows exactly how to be loved, go ask her. She will tell you all you need to know.

 

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Relephant Read:

How to Love a Girl Who Doesn’t Know How to Be Loved.

 

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Need more love?

 

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Author: Toby Israel

Editor: Travis May

Photo: Sandy Manase