Energy Vampires Suck.

Via Julia Lee
on Sep 10, 2010
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Energy vampires: a term used to describe those unsavoury individuals that creep in to our life and wreak havoc on our mental and emotional well-being.

They sweep in, all smiles and sunshine, blinding us with their seemingly perfect ways (albeit temporarily). Their transformation is slow and gradual so as not to raise suspicion (except among those closest to us, whose words ironically tend to become those we heed the least). They work vigilantly, carefully; planting their seeds and watching them thrive within the confines of our mind and our heart.

Energy vampires have the uncanny ability to target their victims’ weaknesses, and can make their victims believe that yes, I can change him for the better or yes, my love is all she needs. Energy vampires tease their victims with the promise of better days and titillate them with false fantasies of a future where “crying” and “fighting” are verbs that do not exist. Energy vampires induce guilt, and shame, and cause their victims to lie awake many sleepless nights, wondering why they are not good enough, will never be good enough, while the energy vampires cackle and plot their eventual demise. Energy vampires feast on their victims’ self-esteem and consume their personal time. Namely, they survive – no, thrive – off the energy of their victims.

Simply put, energy vampires suck. The sad part is, these “give and take” relationships that transform into “give and give” for the victim and “take and take” for the energy vampire aren’t helping either party. Moreover, anyone can fall victim to an energy vampire – they are masters of disguise and often manifest themselves in the form of a lover, dear friend, or beloved family member. Perhaps you’ve had an experience with an energy vampire in the past, or perhaps there’s one in your life right now. Maybe you feel like you’re losing someone close to you to an energy vampire of their own.

The good news is, one need not procure a silver bullet or a wooden stake to vanquish these bad boys. Energy vampires have a weakness that we can exploit – they require our energy to survive. And we have a choice: to direct our energies toward situations that drain us, or conversely, those that sustain us.

First, we must learn to recognize these energy vampires for what they are: individuals that use the energy of others to fill a wound they themselves have not yet learned how to heal. In fact, the energy vampires in our lives are often borne from other vampires that they themselves have fallen victim to. Next, we must forgive them – because after all, resentment and hate consume our energy like no other. Finally, we cultivate loving-kindness with ourselves, and then we learn to take a stand. There comes a point where we must be able to say – in the most loving manner possible – “I will not allow you to take me down with you.”

The more we become aware of the numerous ways in which we have the power to shape our lives, the more we can learn to support ourselves in a positive manner. And the more we support ourselves this way, the more positive energy we generate, which can then be directed toward actually helping energy vampires to change for the better rather than merely falling victim to them.


About Julia Lee

Julia is a yoga teacher, lover of all things, and dedicated student of life. She strives to be open to whatever the universe throws her way and practice her yoga off the mat at all times. Julia believes that the best lessons can often be found in the most unusual places. She writes about her experiences at and on Twitter @julialeeyoga.


7 Responses to “Energy Vampires Suck.”

  1. candicegarrett says:

    This offers new perspective to my recent dealings with another yoga teacher, thanks!

  2. Katerina says:

    This article makes some good points however I feel it describes only half the issue. Energy vampires are drawn in by people who have a need to give their energy away in order to feel good about themselves. People who give their energy away also do so because they're compensating for a wound they haven't healed. We all are disconnected energetically from our Divine Source – and therefore trying desperately to source energy from each other – either from giving or taking of energy.

    The highest healing is to source our energy from Divine Source ourselves. When we do that we no longer have a need to give our energy away and we lead by example how others can source their Divine Source of energy as well. People don't need to be afraid of energy vampires coming to suck out their energy; all they need to do is look at themselves and where they are sourcing and/or giving away their energy. If it's out of balance then correct it within yourself and the people in your world will shift to reflect that.

    Remember, life's a hologram; we "create" everyone & everything to reflect or show us our consciousness and where it needs to be healed. Despite the very enticing illusion to fix and change people & circumstances outside us it's really an inside job.

  3. catlyn777 says:

    You spoke from a deep level of truth. "My" hologram is showing me a lot right now, so thank-you for that timely reminder which is why I happened to read this article and also your reply. namaste

  4. yogadon says:

    back in the day, we called them psychic vampires

  5. You got very interesting debate started on your blog and its worth a lot of comments. Very less people are able to talk so well about this topic. A big thumbs up from me.

  6. […] types of people in my life as porcupines, my dear friend recently referred to them as emotional vampires. I think this made a lot of sense. Let me define it for you: an emotional vampire is someone who […]

  7. Nikki says:

    I am in awe of your post. It fits my last relationship to a T. Every time I tried to get out he would suck me back in with empty promises I’d hope he would keep this time. Four years of hell. Two affairs and an emptying of my bank acct. it was too late for me but at least I’m out. No more abuse. My only hope is that this finds it’s way to another who recognizes the signals, runs and never looks back! Thank you