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Oxytocin: the Love Hormone.

The Chemistry of Love.

Jealousy: Why Women can’t have Affairs & why Men can’t handle Open Relationships.

The Love Hormone.

When women have affairs they become emotionally bonded whether they like it or not, my friend Lisa said this morning. She told me to look up Oxytocin.

On the other hand, Krystal, who wrote an article about the pros of cons of her considering an Open Relationship, points out that while men may want to play around, they also quickly reject the idea upon seeing that, generally, their ladyfriends find it much easier to find partners.

So if women more easily and deeply bond, and men may think they’re more promiscuous, men are also more protective, jealous, insecure, and unwilling to handle the razor’s edge of non-attachment that an open relationship might require.

And so, in the end, we as a society continue to marry, or stay single, or have affairs, and it’s all so messy and silly and sad and exciting.

Oxytocin: the Love Hormone.

Strange Rumors & Facts about Oxytocin.

Did you know? Hugging for 20 seconds releases Oxytocin, which can make someone trust you more. It also can make you seem creepy or New Agey.

Update:  A single dose of the hormone oxytocin, delivered via nasal spray, has been shown to enhance brain activity while processing social information in children with autism spectrum disorders, Yale researchers report in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. (psychologytoday.com)

Update: Women can have affairs, and do, of course: there’s an entire web site devoted to hooking up under-oxytocinized philandering women):

Did you know? Love hormone Oxytocin can cause emotional pain, new study says. “Oxytocin strengthens negative social memory and future anxiety by triggering an important signaling molecule called extracellular signal regulated kinase (ERK) that becomes activated for 6 hours after a negative social experience” (sci-news.com)

Did you know? Oxytocin could provide new treatment for anorexia: Oxytocin, also known as the ‘love hormone’, could provide a new treatment for anorexia nervosa, according to new research by a team of British and Korean scientistsNeuroscience (kcl.ac.uk)

Study: Abused girls have very high oxytocin, which may motivate them to engage in sexual behaviors earlier than their peers (news.wisc.edu)

A single dose of the hormone oxytocin, delivered via nasal spray, has been shown to enhance brain activity while processing social information in children with autism spectrum disorders, Yale researchers report in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. Neuroscience (psychologytoday.com)

Hugging for 20 seconds releases Oxytocin, which can make someone trust you more. (news.bbc.co.uk)

Chimpanzees who share their food with others have higher levels of the hormone oxytocinBiology (mpg.de)

In FASEB Journal today: Serotonin, oxytocin, and vasopressin, three brain hormones that affect social behavior, are all activated by vitamin D hormone. Relevance for autism. Biology (fasebj.org)

Unfaithful:

And:

“Unfaithful”

Story of my life
Searching for the right
But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow in my soul
Cause it seems that wrong
Really loves my company

He’s more than a man
And this is more than love
The reason that the sky is blue
The clouds are rolling in
Because I’m gone again
And to him I just can’t be true

And I know that he knows I’m unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

I don’t wanna do this anymore
I don’t wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don’t wanna hurt him anymore
I don’t wanna take away his life
I don’t wanna be…
A murderer

I feel it in the air
As I’m doing my hair
Preparing for another date
A kiss upon my cheek
As he reluctantly
Asks if I’m gonna be out late
I say I won’t be long
Just hanging with the girls
A lie I didn’t have to tell
Because we both know
Where I’m about to go
And we know it very well

Cause I know that he knows I’m unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

I don’t wanna do this anymore
I don’t wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don’t wanna hurt him anymore
I don’t wanna take away his life
I don’t wanna be…
A murderer

Our love, his trust
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head
Get it over with
I don’t wanna do this
Anymore
Uh
Anymore (anymore)

I don’t wanna do this anymore
I don’t wanna be the reason why
And everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
And I don’t wanna hurt him anymore
I don’t wanna take away his life
I don’t wanna be…
A murderer (a murderer)

No no no no

Yeah yeah yeah

Oxytocin videos:

Bonus:

 ~

Relephant links:

The Science of Arousal: Men versus Women. {Adult}

The Science of Our Brains on Sex.

Image: Flickr

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Sherry Apr 15, 2015 12:58am

This article was completely unhinged, unsourced and a cluster of ramblings with no coherent structure.

Deborah Bountifull Davis Aug 26, 2014 3:06am

Waylon, not your most comprehensive piece, nor your best, but definitely an interesting discussion.

hbb2014 Aug 6, 2014 1:29am

estrogen is necessary for oxytocin bonding so women pre menopausal and men over 45 or 50 are both very bondable and need to be careful with casual sex…specifically intercourse!
young men (studs) and older women (cougars) can have sex and walk over the body on the way out (as both are on testosterone/progesterone. oxytocin bonding is real… gestating, lactating and now we know fornicating can create the bonding effect. this is not far out…it's science biology and based on brain differences between men and women!
carla holden

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Waylon Lewis

Waylon Lewis, founder of Elephant Journal & host of Walk the Talk Show with Waylon Lewis, is a 1st generation American Buddhist “Dharma Brat.” Voted #1 in U.S. on twitter for #green two years running, Changemaker & Eco Ambassador by Treehugger, Green Hero by Discovery’s Planet Green, Best (!) Shameless Self-Promoter at Westword’s Web Awards, Prominent Buddhist by Shambhala Sun, & 100 Most Influential People in Health & Fitness 2011 by “Greatist”, Waylon is a mediocre climber, lazy yogi, 365-day bicycle commuter & best friend to Redford (his rescue hound). His aim: to bring the good news re: “the mindful life” beyond the choir & to all those who didn’t know they gave a care. elephantjournal.com | His first book, Things I would like to do with You, touches on modern relationships from a Buddhist point of view. His dream of 9 years, the Elephant “Ecosystem” will find a way to pay 1,000s of writers a month, helping reverse the tide of low-quality, unpaid writing & reading for free online.