March 31, 2011

How not writing about the cute twin baby boys taught me about freedom of expression

Whaaa!! I really want to write a post but I don’t feel inspired. I can’t make up my mind. Should it be something about the cute conversating baby twins? I realize I missed my chance there. Coincidently I was the 231st person to see the video on YouTube and it crossed my mind then to write about them. Now the video has over 6.7 million views and has been ‘analyzed’ by TV stations all over America. So that’s not original anymore and of course, being unoriginal is a big no-no for me.

Ah, there you have my topic of today. This post will be about how we are constantly limiting ourselves because of all kinds of fear, big and small. When you read back the first paragraph you can see fear at work, limiting me. It starts with being frustrated about not feeling inspired (Whaa..). What is projected there is the fear of not being good enough. “Without inspiration I cannot deliver” is the inner conviction. “An uninspired post will disappoint my readers, will reveal me as boring which will damage my image as a cool communicator”. “I might as well close my business and go hang myself” is the hidden thought behind that. My brain starts working, trying to find an escape from this unwanted state of no inspiration. I come up with an idea (write about the twins!) which is immediately rejected because it doesn’t meet my inner standards of originality. I proceed with putting myself down (I missed my chance) but ‘balance’ that by letting you know that I was part of the select group of people who saw the video before the masses, sending out a subconscious message of my uniqueness.

We are all doing this stuff all the time. Every thought, every action is being judged and weighed. Is this behavior in accord with the standards I have of myself?  Will it get passed my Inner Judge and my Inner Controller? They will check and analyze all the risks first.

You can imagine that the more you are unaware of these processes the more power and control they have over your life. Basically you are always safely operating within the bandwidth you allow yourself. But a limited bandwidth means a limited horizon, it means a limited experience of yourself and a limited experience of your life because you make yourself believe that this limited version of yourself is the real you. And of course, life is about living the full spectrum that is offered to us and not excluding many possibilities and experiences beforehand.

When I exaggerate in the example by saying “I might as well go hang myself” I am in fact not exaggerating. When we start looking closely at even our most subtle and futile fears we will find a hidden, deeply catastrophal view on the world. We are always afraid that the consequences of our failures and inappropriate behavior will lead to our death. What makes it even funnier: we call the source of these thoughts our rational mind. This is extremely important to acknowledge. It not only gives us insight but also allows us to be compassionate towards our limitedness. And compassion will allow us to expand.

You are a lot less limited than you believe you are. And so am I. Yay!

I will conclude with showing you the video of the cute baby twins having a conversation anyway. Because this is my post and I can do what I want with it. And it might be more relevant then I believed it to be 3 seconds ago: they are teaching us about freedom of expression. Enjoy!

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