“Women don’t Lie.” ~ Anonymous

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This article comes via the mother of a longtime friend of mine, who I and many of us know to be a gentle bear of a man, far kinder and sweeter than me or just about anyone I know..! We here at elephant are happy to support this important dialogue. I would only ask that we conduct any discussion in a respectful manner, given the many painful and troubling questions it invites. We must all remember that while you and I are free to bike around and work and eat lunch and take our dogs for walks, friends of ours may be stuck in similar situations as the below. Right or wrong, this is a situation that calls for compassion and insight. ~ Waylon Lewis, ed.

I cannot tell you my name because what I am about to talk about is an ongoing legal matter. I will tell you that I am a feminist. That I fought for the rights of women to be believed. I worked for a rape crisis center in the 80s. I helped organize and participated in Take Back the Night events. I am friends with therapists and activists who have worked tirelessly for the rights of women and children. I was sexually abused as a child, and it defined my life for a number of years.

I am also a mother. I have raised a beautiful son, now a beautiful, caring man. He is honorable and strong. He has a deep spiritual practice. He is a man sensitive to the needs of women. Because of my involvement in “the movement” and because at some point he became aware of my own painful history, he is empathetic to women who have been abused.

Last year a woman, we’ll call her Sarah, accused my son of attempted sexual assault. She said, she thinks he tried to rape her. She and my son had been dating for a couple of months, but mostly they were consoling each other, I think. He, brokenhearted over the recent breakup of a long term relationship, she, confused over her on again, off again boyfriend who didn’t treat her very well.

This woman was also feeling a lot of conflict between her purported Christian beliefs and being attracted to two men. Discussions with her therapist didn’t help because, as she told my son, (let’s call him Robert), the therapist said, “what’s wrong with being attracted to two men?” But she couldn’t deal with that, and came to Robert’s house and told him she didn’t want to see him anymore. It wasn’t quite as clear cut as that because she lay down on the bed with Robert and there was flirting and fondling before she came to her decision. When she did, Robert agreed, and got up, walked her to the door. They hugged and he walked her to her car.

I know a lot of this because my son and I are friends. He had reservations about this relationship and had voiced his concerns to me. Sarah had told him that her father had abused her as a child and she had been in therapy for a long time. She had been on serious medications for bi-polar disorder for most of that time. Last summer while they were dating, she decided to get off of her meds. She told Robert she was experiencing blackouts. “Is that normal?” she would ask him. She had exhibited some strange behavior through the course of their relationship, but he had great empathy. I think seeing this reflected his own damaged soul and mine. But he was relieved when she called it off.

I have talked to therapists about bi-polar disorder, the meds that treat it and what happens when a person goes off those meds without a doctor’s supervision. None of it is good. One therapist I talked to said that false accusations skyrocket when someone decides to go cold-turkey. But because of rape shield laws that have been in place since the early 80s and because of defense lawyers’ fear of seeming to be “victim bashing,” these things more than likely will not be brought up. Nor can we bring up her litigious nature and her perception that a lot of other people, including a massage therapist, are out to hurt her.

That was the last of it for a month and then she began to think that Robert had ‘tried’ to rape her. She contacted the police. A policewoman wired her up and had her call Robert at 9pm one night. I have seen the transcript of that call and through the words on the page you can feel her desperation as she begs Robert to admit to something, anything that will “prove” her allegations.

You can hear Robert’s bewilderment as he denies over and over again her false accusations. At one point, he calls her sweetie (as he calls all his close friends), “Sweetie, I know you’re in pain.”

Despite no evidence, despite the fact that she is obviously a troubled woman, despite other attempts by her in the past to accuse people of hurting her in some way, despite her own admissions of wanting to sue others still, despite my son’s spotless record and the support of myriad women who have known him for years, the state has chosen to pursue this “case.”

If you think that women don’t lie to get back at men, how naive can you be? Yet we live in a culture of “women don’t lie,” a culture fostered by women’s groups since the 70s. A culture I helped create and support. A philosophy I believed.

Because why would women lie? The process of coming forward, going through the legal system was so horrific, so humiliating, why in the world would a woman put herself through it?

But that was then. Then, sexual abuse was hidden and women were maligned and humiliated if they dared come forward. And strong, brave women stood up for the rights of their children and themselves.

Now there are women’s groups with a strong political voice. There are women in political office, policewomen, and so on. Men and women now are predisposed to believe women when they accuse someone of rape. It is sometimes a knee jerk reaction that we have not evaluated for its veracity. We have not wanted to hear that women sometimes lie. The system has supported all women even those who lie. They’ve made it easy for them. If it is proven that a woman has lied, they are not prosecuted. They are at most sent to counseling. And being a “victim” can be intoxicating to some. It can let them off the hook for being responsible for their own actions.

But who is going to protect our sons? We who were on the front lines in the 70s when things were bad for women, we have raised good sons. Men we are proud of. Who will stand up for them?

I am now appalled to think that I was one of these women who thought that women don’t lie…and where there smoke there’s always a fire. Despite having raised a beautiful son, I was a sexist. Then I started doing research. There have been studies done since the 80s citing the percentage of rape allegations that are false.  Some studies say as high as 60%. People who have been dealing with this for years have tried to tell us that women do lie. But we haven’t wanted to hear.

(I will quote these studies but will not footnote them. They are listed at the end of this article.)

In a 1996 study published by the U.S. Department of Justice, “Convicted by Juries, Exonerated by Science” Peter Neufeld and Barry C Scheck co-founders of the Innocence Project stated:

“Every year since 1989, in about 25 percent of the sexual assault cases referred to the FBI where results could be obtained, the primary suspect has been excluded by forensic DNA testing… These percentages have remained constant for 7 years.”

Colorado’s own Craig Silverman, a former Denver DA and a zealous prosecutor of rapists, was also critical of what he calls the “politically correct victims advocate’s view” held by many prosecutors who want to “always believe the woman.” Silverman states:

“During my time as a prosecutor who made case filing decisions, I was amazed to see all the false rape allegations that were made to the Denver Police Department.  It was remarkable and surprising to me.  You would have to see it to believe it.  Any honest veteran sex assault investigator will tell you that rape is one of the most falsely reported crimes that there is. A command officer in the Denver police sex assaults unit recently told me he placed the false rape numbers at approximately 45 percent.”

Feminist rhetoric has merely replaced the old stereotypes. Now instead of being humiliated and scorned when we come forward, we are welcomed with an all-encompassing “Women Don’t Lie.”

“Due to the institutionalization of feminist ideology within the legal system – along with the political correctness that pervades our society – a lot of men have been defamed, imprisoned and/or fined due to the false accusations that were made against them by women.  For this reason, a lot of Divorce lawyers encourage their female clients to falsely accuse their husbands of rape, child abuse and/or domestic violence.” – Aaron Larsen

We have systematically refused to consider the possibility that women lie. We have even attacked those who wanted to discuss the possibility. Law professor Alan Dershowitz reports that he was accused of sexual harassment for discussing in his law class the possibility of false rape allegations. Some colleges with speech codes have equated talk of false rape allegations with “discriminatory harassment.”

Why would women lie?

Why wouldn’t women lie? They lie to protect themselves, to alleviate guilt, or because they are delusional. They lie because they can. For all the reasons that people lie, women lie.

“Empirical evidence does not support the widespread belief that women are extremely unlikely to make false accusations of male sexual misconduct. Rather the research on accusations of rape, sexual harassment, incest and child sexual abuse indicates that false accusations have become a serious problem. The motivations involved in making a false report are widely varied and include confusion, outside influence from therapists and others, habitual lying, advantages in custody, disputes, financial gain and the political ideology of radical feminism.” – Frank S. Zepezauer

But there is another reason women lie about rape. Rape is a deeply personal crime. Some women even harbor rape fantasies. Falsely accusing a man of rape can be deeply satisfying because it is sexual and even romantic. And it cuts to the heart of a male/female relationship. In his paper, Patients Who Make False Accusations, Dr. Richard C. W. Hall cites a particular case in which:

“We talked to a young borderline woman, who reported that she had made allegations to her county medical society that her psychiatrist had been sexually inappropriate with her. She reported that she was angry at him, that he had not given her the attention that she wanted, and that she made up the charges to get even. Although she candidly reported that he had never touched her, she said that she ‘was sure that he wanted to.’”

I have watched my son for 40 years. I have watched him grow from boy to man. I have seen him in his interactions with women and men. I have marveled at his sensitivity, his empathy. Many times I have thought, “Wow, he is a feminist’s dream. A man who listens. Who cares. Who is strong and deeply spiritual. A man who can be a woman’s friend. Who can comfort another in time of need. He is truly a good and decent man.

But if you would discount the word of a mother, what about all the women in his life? The girlfriend that has known him since high school to his most recent girlfriend? All have come forward on his behalf. All have remained his steadfast friend even after their romantic relationship ended.

And what of the word of their parents who have come forward? Including two psychotherapists who work with battered women. What of the casual dating partners and friends from far and wide, both male and female who have all come forward on his behalf? They too have spoken out for him. This man is not capable of doing this thing.

Never have I been to visit him that someone did not congratulate me on raising such a fine man.

Our good men are being harmed. This good man is being harmed.

“Due to immense pressure from rabid feminists, the state was placed in the position of convicting as many accused rapists as possible, or face an onslaught of abuse from second-wave-feminists….” – Aaron Larsen

The current climate in Colorado appears to be: Try them all. Let God sort them out. I have been told that there are political reasons for that. Reasons that have nothing to do with the validity of a particular case but with the fear of an attack by an opponent in an election. The District Attorney is an elected official. But doesn’t the state have better things to do than try meritless cases? Isn’t there a voice of reason somewhere?

Dr. Richard C. W. Hall in his paper, Patients Who Make False Allegations, The Role of the Forensic Psychiatrist, has created a checklist for the evaluation of patients’ allegations. It follows:

1)    Is accuser creditable?

2)    Is story consistent and believable?

3)    Is there a motive for revenge or mischief?

4)    Have other allegations been made previously?  Does a pattern of allegations exist?

5)    Has the patient been counseled in their charges by some professional who has a vested interest?

6)    Is there any physical evidence of misdeed?

7)    What is the reputation of the accused?

8)    How does the accused respond to the charges?

9)    Are there issues of custody, property settlement, divorce, or suit involved?

10) Is there a history of personality disorder – antisocial, narcissistic, borderline – in either party?

11) Is there a history of alcohol or substance abuse in either party?

If the state were to apply this or any reasonable checklist to the allegations against my son, this “case” would have gone in the trash bin months ago, we wouldn’t be out thousands of dollars, countless sleepless nights and the feeling that the system simply doesn’t work.

If anyone can accuse a good man of something like this and cause him so much grief, then what has our system become? The terms rape, sexual assault, sexual abuse have become so ubiquitous as to be meaningless (although still very much emotionally charged).  We have cast such a wide net that laws and statutes that were devised to protect us from the worst of the worst, the serial rapists, sexual predators and pedophiles are now being used to punish men who urinate near school yards or a boyfriend who takes the arm of his inebriated girlfriend to get her out of a party.

An article titled Feminists Fallacies Hurt Police Training states:

“If every incident between a man and a woman can be framed as a prelude to an atrocity, then all men can be branded as predators. The error in logic, that all men are potential rapists, allows feminists to link attitudes and behaviors for which there is NO connection and allows them to condemn the mild-mannered man given to the occasional caustic comment to sharing an axis with O.J. Simpson.”

That is not to say that there are not terrible crimes committed against women and children every day. According to Believe Her! The Woman Never Lies Myth, Frank Zepezauer says:

“This growing gap – between the  anguish suffered by the victims of traditionally defined sex crimes and what is suffered by victims of ideologically defined crimes – suggests that the crisis we face is not the result of a sexual misconduct epidemic but of the crisis mentality itself, an ever more hysterical vision of a ‘rape culture.’”

This hysterical crisis mentality has created a gap between our awareness of the now highly visible victims of sexual misconduct and the almost invisible victims of false allegation. The lesser known victims have their own stories to tell, enough to reveal another long ignored injustice that demands remediation. False allegations of sexual misconduct have deprived a rapidly growing number of men and women of their reputations, their fortunes, their children, their livelihood and their freedom. Wasting the time and money of families and communities, and have left some so desperate that they have taken their own lives.

Zepezauer concludes:

“For that reason, in the current revision of our sexual misconduct code, we must retain as a guiding premise the realization that women can lie because we know that, for several reasons, more than a few women have lied, more often than idealogues have admitted….too often, in any event, to be ignored by our jurisprudence, feminist or otherwise.”

It’s time that we admitted what is right in front of us. Not every woman tells the truth and not every man is a potential rapist.

Please someone, tell the State of Colorado.

~

Sources used in this article:

MND, mensnewsdaily.com, “During My Time as a Prosecutor I was Amazed to See all the False Rape Allegations that Were Made.”

North Shore News, Alana Mercer, “Feminist Fallacies Hurt Police Training?

Men’s Rights Online, Aaron Larsen, “False Accusation Issues”

Dr. Richard C. W. Hall Publications, Dr. Richard C. W. Hall, “Patients Who Make False Allegations”

Salon Newsreel, Cathy Young, Who Says WomenNever Lie About Rape?”

FoxNews.com, Wendy McElroy, “False Rape Accusations May Be More Common Than Thought”

IPT Journal, Frank S. Zepezauer, “Believe Her! The Woman Never Lies Myth”

Richardwebster.net, Richard Webster, “False Allegations: End This Cruel Injustice”

AND

The Witchcraft Trials in Salem:  A Commentary by Douglas Linder

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anonymous Aug 21, 2014 4:06pm

Add to this the story of the Glen Ridge rape case that happened in 1989 (in which the girl was initially not believed and treated badly by most of the town as 'being easy') and even I can see why the laws are like they are now, even with the risk of hurting an innocent person.

anonymous Aug 4, 2013 10:33pm

'Feminism' will eat the same gender it works towards!!! one day!!!
Feminists should work on Gender Equality instead of special rights for women, as it will increase the gap between the genders, so immense that it will damage the world women share with men, beyond the good that Feminists try to create.

anonymous Jul 18, 2013 11:52am

It has taken you far too long to come to this realization. Imagine the damage you have been doing to innocent males in the name of your rabid feminism. What is apparently to you and a lot of other females a shocking revelation, is as simple as 1+1=2 to the vast majority of males.

anonymous Jun 27, 2013 11:05pm

My experience with female lies started early, when i was 8 i had a child arguement with a 11 year old neighbor. She started throwing an iron lock on me, i kicked her leg. She went to her father and told that i had broken her arm, her father ran in my direction shouting threats. I ran faster and closed my door, he punched the door repeatdly saying he was going to kill me. Later on he said he was going to have my name permanently filed on the police. Needless to say at that age i was confused and scared.

A couple years later, her friend and also my neighbor knocked on the door and told my mother that she had her arm hurt prior and used it against me. Apparently, she was boasting about it to her.

Needless to say, this “small” lie could have had serious consequences and it certainly put a negative mark on my childhood. It changed my behaviour, i was so naive before i could not believe she would lie about something like this.

anonymous Apr 23, 2013 5:30pm

Maybe a sensitive young person should not get into a sexual relationship with someone he knows to be mentally ill and off of medication for the protection of BOTH of them?

Can a person be said to give free consent under that circumstance? Do we automatically NOT believe someone with a mental illness on or off their meds? (I think the consensus is that the mentally ill are far more often the victim of a crime than the perpetrator. Which is to make no claim about this particular situation.)

This sounds like a case for a fair and competent court to decide in my opinion. And, yes, it does ask different questions than this mom is asking. I cannot imagine anything more difficult than being in her position, and my heart goes out to her. Likewise, I hope for justice and wellness for ALL.

As for the claim that feminism, anybody's fantasy, or the current amount of power women have achieved in our society (Really?) are somehow to blame for rampant false accusations of rape that lead to conviction…..I see nothing in this article (or in our world) that establishes any of this as true. Widely available and commonly accepted statistics on rape from abundant conservative and well respected sources establishes clearly that here in the U.S. approximately 25% of females will experience rape, 90% of those know their accuser as a friend or relative, and less than 2% of these cases will result in any kind of trial. Conviction rates are minuscule. These are facts.

Any comments on rape that ignore them are simply uninteresting and much more suspect as being about emotion uninformed by wisdom and knowledge than efforts to deal with this reality.

I am not saying that fair trials are not necessary. If the author or any of those commenting on this article think that we should stay a culture that mistrusts the report of women automatically and routinely (as is currently typical in cases of acquaintance rape, especially, which accounts for the vast majority of rapes), they are those who would deny the public access to fair trials. That, I'm afraid, is the status quo.

anonymous Apr 22, 2013 10:20am

If you hadn't raised your son to be a sucker-ass feminist he probably wouldn't have ended up in this situation to begin with! Now he gets to learn what modern 'empowered' women are really like. BTW where's his father? Oh yeah that doesn't matter right?

anonymous Apr 21, 2013 7:09pm

My experience with women making false complaints for vindictive ends.

Decades ago, in the streets of Greenwich Village, I was approached by a loud and aggressive woman. When she got within 2 feet of me, she kept moving towards me. Believing that she was about grab and grope me, my arm shot out to keep her away by a stiff-arm tactic. She immediately began shouting that I was trying to grope her breasts. I looked over her shoulder and saw two men with a hand in their suit jackets starring intently at me. I immediately concluded that she was a hooker hepped up on drugs, and that these men were probably her pimps. I turned on my heels and walked away as fast as I could, ending the incident. I was with a friend, who praised my cool.

Move forward a few decades. I am having dinner in my sister's house. I see her only 2-3x a decade. I had a lovely 3 hour conversation with her young adult daughter about her choice of career. Soon after my niece goes home, my sister tells me in a hushed growl "one more crack out of you and I'm throwing you out on your ass." I replied "I have no idea what you are talking about." She immediately whipped out her cellphone, rang 911, and reported me to the police as a trespasser. I left promptly, fearing that I would be taken into custody and booked. The police did come promptly but I managed to convince them easily that there was no cause for concern. My sister yelled at the cop "don't pay attention to him. He's the sort that has to have the last word." I will never see my sister again. Because she will be the boss at our mother's funeral, I will not attend that funeral.

My sister has had psychiatric issues and a troubled life on several margins. If a middle aged woman with a graduate degree notifies the police that there is intruder or unwanted guest in her house, that is something they will take very seriously. No need to go as far as rape.

I doubt that 45% of rape accusations are false. But even if, say, 5% are, false accusations degrade real victims and poison the whole system.

anonymous Apr 21, 2013 6:02am

Your loyalty to your son is understandable, but misplaced. All the evidence suggests that women don't make false allegations – haven't you seen the research that brings this truth to light, despite every attempt by the rape culture to suppress it? If your son's ex-girlfriend feels she's been violated or taken advantage of in some way you can be sure there is some basis in fact. Do you presume to deny her experience? Don't you understand she knows whether she had sex or not and whether she consented or not? It is her body, her decision, and for her to say – not for you or your son! Decades of feminist research has established the validity of women's experience and the forces that act to deny that experience, and yet you still haven't got the message! More importantly, by suggesting she is not being truthful you are adding your voice in support to the culture which consistently invalidates women. You should be ashamed of yourself! Even if your son is innocent, he is ineluctably a part of the patriarchal system of power, and you should gladly sacrifice him rather than work against everything women have achieved to get their voices heard. He is guilty whether he intends it, knows it, or likes it or not! Furthermore, the cause is more important than some individual man! Why are you not calling for him to be castrated as an example to other men so they understand that women are no longer powerless? Have you not considered all the rape victims who may be doubted because of your denials? Where are your feelings for them? Where are his feelings, when you say you've brought him up to be empathetic to women? And yet he makes himself an agent of the system that works to undermine them for purely selfish reasons! You evidently haven't brought him up as carefully as you claim! This is what happens when women surrender to men – you have become a mere lackey to your son! Can't you see what he's doing to you – twisting your mind to betray your own sex! He raped her! And even if he didn't, he is part of a system that did! Why are you not testifying against him? Shame on you!!!

anonymous Apr 19, 2013 9:09pm

Your case is very unusual though because of your mother and step-sister turning on you.
If you would have had their support instead of them actively working against you I'm sure it would have taken much less time.
The system does want to believe girls/women but if they are doubted by their own mother it makes it a lot harder.
I'm deeply sorry for what you went through and I hope your mom and step-sister also spent some time in jail.
I'm a father and I can't imagine what kind of sick person could get on the stand and support their child's molester let alone turn a blind eye to the abuse of their daughter.
But this woman's story is hardly unique and too many times men are being put away without any evidence because the system is taking non creditable women seriously.
Also when you are on the stand of course the defense attorney is going to try to pull you apart that's the job it's awful for victims of crime but the only other choice is to not let accused persons face their accuser. (thus making false accusations much easier)
Unless you are saying the police or your own lawyer didn't believe you or the judge was harsh with you?

anonymous Apr 19, 2013 3:18am

I guess all I have to say to this woman, if she's still listening is please follow your reasoning to its conclusion. Ask yourself, where did this bias in the legal system come from? Hint, it didn't come from aliens. Rather, it came from political pressure applied by events such as "take back the night" farces that you were apparently part of. It came from rape hysteria generated by false statistics and incredibly hostile attitudes towards masculinity.

Feminists very intentionally created a pedagogy of "data" and "theory" which leads ineluctably to demanding a tilted the field in the favor of women. These ideas are steeped in the postmodernist and cultural marxist critique, so their support in the academy is far and wide. If this author really wants to take a stand, all I ask is that she go deeper in the root causes and be willing to see it for what it is.

anonymous Apr 19, 2013 12:12am

I feel no sympathy for the author.
Feminists need to understand and have empathy for the thousands of boys and men whose lives they are destroyed because of effects of out of control feminism. Of course fight for women's rights. But to destroy boys and men in the process is not the same thing. Feminism has lost its way and it took a personal situation for the author to actually get it.
That is very sad. The human rights of boys and men have been slowly eroded for decades under the ruse of 'women's rights'. Sweet justice that a feminist has a boy whose life was almost ruined by the unfair policies she helped create.

anonymous Dec 12, 2012 2:19pm

Sadly, there are still those who prefer justification of their world view over the truth. There are lives at stake here. Rapes happen; punish the guilty, console the victim. Lies happen; seek the truth. Restore the reputation of the falsely accused. Why is this difficult to pursue with equal vigor? Would not you expect the system to work this way on YOUR behalf, if you were personally involved on either side? Getting it mostly right is not adequate. Seek the truth.

anonymous Oct 11, 2012 1:27pm

I left the Canadian Forces because two of my senior shipmates raped me when my ship was deployed in Mexico. There were pictures taken by these two men of what they did to me that night, the camera was confiscated but mysteriously, all the pictures developed funny so you couldn't see anything and in the end were not submitted as evidence. There was a rape-kit taken within hours, before i showered… It mysteriously dissapeared. I didn't even report the incident myself… another ship-mate found me sobbing in the streets and knew what happened because of earlier events leading up to the incident, and in spite of my begging, he went straight to my ships captain and made a formal report. The rest if a very loooooooooong story, but in the end both men were aquitted due to "reasonable doubt" (lack of forenzic evidence ie. rape-kit and pictures), they were both promoted, and I was ordered back to the same ship to work with them again.

It's still a mans world.

anonymous Apr 17, 2012 10:41am

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anonymous Mar 15, 2012 7:47am

Has anyone had experience with Trazadone?
I’m currently on Prozac and Mirtazapine, both anti-depressants for symptoms of my depression and borderline personality disorder.
I’ve wanted to come off Mirtazapine for a while as it has caused a lot of weight gain for me and often makes me hungry and hard to feel full up despite what I eat. The drs at my old surgery were unwilling to change my prescriptions, saying they wanted me to be seen by a psychiatrist. However they wouldnt refer me as I was in the process of moving from a hostel into my own place, so the psychiatrist would be for a different area. Buy Trazodone without prescriptions . I’ve now registered at the surgery where I’ve moved to and my new GP is willing to adjust my meds. She said that once my notes have been transferred she thinks she will put me on Trazadone, as like Mirtazapine it has a sedative effect (I had bad sleep patterns before).
I realise everyone reacts differently to anti-depressants but would be grateful to hear people’s stories of Trazadone, what the common side effects are etc.
Thanks 🙂

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anonymous Nov 17, 2011 7:21pm

[…] […]

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anonymous Oct 16, 2011 10:30pm

such a nightmare when an ex girlfriend decides… for revenge;;… to do this to an innocent young man… because he broke off relatiohship.and basks in the attention is tis america???? if u think it cant happen to u like our family think again so easy for some women..and then the male is guilty before proven innocent..such trauma and financial devastation just because she can !!! its all true..change the laws

anonymous Sep 5, 2011 11:02am

There is in this article, and responses, some unfortunate truths. However, sliding down and into the pits of I told you so and you made your bed so lay in it does not address the dilemma. Because, the problem(s) of power and survival are not external to any of us but are instead part of the social structure we have all co created. In other words, regardless of fault, or whether the chicken came first or the egg there exists elements within every individual that are capable of being drawn upon that are not in the best interest of the human we can be as opposed to the animals we came from. Accepting and understanding that there are methods of physical and emotional control we have made available to ourselves over eons of evolution in order to survive is not easy.

We have all, to put it bluntly, left some pretty and not so endearing scars on one another, yet as this article has so bravely spoken out for, we can be better and do better for ourself. Does this mean there will not remain those who are confused, possibly ill-fitted and overwhelmed with the goals of pursuing a human nature, of course not, after all, a goose never lays a completely tame egg either. However, this article does suggest that we are beginning to see that if we do truly wish to fly we are going to need more realistic and solid ground from which to soar. And that this road of yesterday's struggles to tomorrow's path of understanding and knowledge will only be crossed when we do so together no matter where we came from.

anonymous Sep 5, 2011 10:59am

It is very, very sad to see all of the cynicism, bitterness, and vitriol here. I understand that many of you have had terrible experiences. But does it help you or anyone to spew this hatred and disgust all over the comments page?

anonymous Sep 4, 2011 8:47am

I don't think I've ever seen such scurrilous claims about feminists or such hostile comments about feminism this side of the Free Republic discussion boards. Someone sent me a link to a different article on this site that I thought was good, but clearly the hatred and hostility of feminism makes this a site I will not visit again.

anonymous Jul 19, 2011 11:46am

[…] I think it is important to note that she did all of this as a woman. […]

anonymous Jul 11, 2011 4:26pm

[…] right for ourselves, and at the same time trying to spare the other unnecessary pain. It meant some lying by omission. That wasn’t the yoga talking. That was the fear and we both had […]

anonymous Jun 24, 2011 3:37pm

Where's spell-check when you need it?

anonymous Jun 24, 2011 8:18am

All benefits aside: The creation of and funding of the creation of feminism was backed by the Rockefellers (globalists) ,. through the CIA for the purposes of 1. doubling the tax base 2. splitting up the family to get kids to identify with "The State"

we are kept in the dark…….about so many things.

anonymous Jun 16, 2011 11:16pm

Fabulous article!

anonymous Jun 16, 2011 7:54pm

[…] most hateful comments I’ve ever read have been right here on elephant. Oh say, here, here and here. Well I’m gonna call bulls%^t on all of that right […]

anonymous Jun 8, 2011 10:46pm

[…] […]

anonymous Jun 4, 2011 12:30pm

Hey I hope he gets what all men have been getting for years. Very ironic your BS had to come back and bite you where it hurts LOL. Why should anyone feel any compassion? Sounds like you raised a typical boy ripe for all sorts of exploitation by your types and those yoy helped empower with "take back the night" idosies.

So yay good going by the gf whoever she is. Infact I hope all your co-workers with boys get the same rude awakening. You were in such fantasy induced dreams that the reality is shocking you now???

anonymous May 31, 2011 4:03pm

Women hate men. They absolutely hate men. Except to get resources from them.

Somewhere, right now, a bunch of female shrews are reading that story of false accusation, their faces sporting beaming smiles of hate and pleasure.

Your mother loves you, usually. The rest of women hate you.

anonymous May 29, 2011 6:06pm

Huh? Is that your rant, or are you quoting some blog? Either way, such anger doesn't seem helpful, intelligent, accurate or…you know, nice. ~ Waylon

    anonymous Jun 5, 2011 2:13am

    We die you go back to your cave you bastard of a rapist and a whore.

    anonymous Jun 6, 2011 1:08pm

    If this woman’s son gets convicted, you will find out just how “accurate” my “rant” is.

    You will also find out what the depths of hell are, as far as anger goes.

    Like this feminist mother, you will also find out how little “intelligence” has to do with a court of law. . . or truth, for that matter.

    Colorado has a particularly cruel vigilante feminist pogrom waiting with claws bared should he be convicted.

    Ask ANY attorney what happens to an innocent person undergoing sex offender “treatment”. Go ahead – pick up the phone and call anyone of them. Colorado is known as being worst of the worst.

anonymous May 29, 2011 2:56pm

He underwent YEARS of abusive "offender treatment" because he couldn't pass a polygraph saying he did it – you are forced to confess in "therapy". After years of "treatment" it was recommended he be sent to prison for 6 years "because he hadn't taken responsibility for making his mother believe he is guilty".

He was a high school kid when this started. Over half his life has been spent on a sex offender registry.

This mother has NO idea what is in store for her son or she woldn't have said as much as she did. Yes. He CAN be punished for HER behavior.

Be afraid. Be VERY afraid.

anonymous May 29, 2011 2:56pm

Two years later her daughter suddenly "disclosed" instead of molesting her brother, my son had violently and repeatedly raped her – at knife point – two year before.

My son passed multiple polygraphs, her medical exam showed her hyman intact. All the past allegations and her abuse therapy were RAPE SHIELDED – aw was her mother's as a "victim by proxy".

The family left the state and refused to return to testify.

End of story?

No.

The end of the story was my son forced to accept an Alford plea (still maintaining innocence, but considered a guilty plea in the eyes of the law) for no jail time – then jailed anyway after passing yet another polygraph saying he didn't do it.

cont…

anonymous May 29, 2011 2:54pm

A few years later, after I caught her sneaking alcohol to a recovering alcoholic family member, she claimed my son molested her son.

In anger, I threatened to report her claim to the police – and include her prior history of being a molester. She immediately apologized to my son. I had a LOT to learn about the legal system, unfortunately.

cont…

anonymous May 29, 2011 2:53pm

As the mother of a falsely accused son, let ME explain to those who question why she chose to remain anonymous.

I didn't – and my son was horrifically punished for it.

My son's accuser was a family member. I have a 30 plus year history with her. I know her history of filing false police reports for attempted rape when caught sneaking out of the house as a teen. I know her history of molesting children she babysat as a teen – back in the days before child abuse awareness she actually laughed about it(after a few too many drinks).

My son was not the first boy she falsely accused. After getting into an argument with a neighbor, she accused the 5 year old son of raping her 4 year old daughter. The child attended sexual abuse therapy while the mother, the "victim by proxy" ,enjoyed unquestioned acceptance and sympathy.

cont…

anonymous May 28, 2011 1:51pm

Robin Juhl
I suppose the author of the article should be told that, because of the rant to which you linked, her son ought to be jailed. As Twain's Aunt Polly said, when finding she'd smacked Tom instead of Sid, "Didn't get a lick amiss, I reckon." I figure the author of the story and the author of the rant ought to have a discussion. It could be televised. Go viral on Youtube, by golly.
I don't suppose it would make any difference to point out that the justice system which hunts down, prosecutes, and punishes violent criminals including those who practice violence against women, is mostly made up of men…?
Then there's the view that, if I'm going to be called an asshole when I'm not, I may as well be an asshole and enjoy it because…what more are they going to do to me?

    anonymous May 28, 2011 5:27pm

    Richard,

    As a fellow GUY, I'm tired of being called a would-be-rapist, just because of my gonads. The author to whom I linked may have well had a sympathetic nod from the "anonymous" author — until it's her son now in the star chamber pit. Too many women get raped. But too many men get their lives ripped apart when falsely accused of it. Care to guess how many of the Duke professors who signed a letter excoriating the lacrosse players bothered to apologize once they had been PROVEN innocent? (Hint: The concept of zero was a major step in math.) These "feminists" should HATE false accusers. But no, they just hate men. And somehow, a man being mad about a proven false-accuser is made out to be misogyny. I feel sorry for the son of "anonymous" because he was raise by one of these nut-cases. Glad that mom is now seeing the light.

anonymous May 25, 2011 7:36am

Quite obviously, this is not the first time a man has been falsely accused of rape. It is probably likely–the author seems to think so–that it is not the first time that a man has been falsely accused of rape and had the entire process enabled by the narrative framing and legal aspects promoted by feminists, including the author.
It is, so far as we know, the first time a feminist has complained about a loved one being falsely accused of rape, in part because of the work she thought was a good idea.
Among those who have suffered a false accusation or know someone who has or who think false accusations are a bad idea and that some feminist work has promoted such things, there is a kind of schadenfreude. Not necessarily a good thing, but certainly to be anticipated. It would be hard to think of a way to "correct" them. Best you can do is whine about "hate", I suppose.

anonymous May 24, 2011 8:26pm

What is sad is she only gave a sh#$ is when it happened to someone she cared about. Karma sucks.

anonymous May 24, 2011 5:31pm

too neat
Two separate issues. The story is or is not true.
The commenters' reactions are to the story as if it were true. The commenters believe the story is true, thus their reactions are as if is true. If it were not true,their reactions would still remain as if the story were true. So we learn about the commenters.
Ceer. I watched that. Wonder if feminists think it's a feature or a bug.

anonymous May 24, 2011 2:57pm

@ Anonymous

I saw today about what this same court system is doing to our veterans. It's deeply disconcerting that the author of our original post would have ever thought of this as a good thing, much less actively work to bring it about.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_StCzStBy0&fe

anonymous May 24, 2011 12:29pm

Aubrey
Does it make a difference whether it is a fake? You make the point it still stimulates discussion and awareness. But what do you think of people who write purportedly nonfiction books falsely claiming to be a holocaust victim, or an American Indian child, or a drug addict, or a prostitute, etc? The defense of course is that the issues are valid and the story *could* have happened. The author vividly imagined the injustice. And yet most of us feel disgusted or cheated or think it somewhat sleazy and dishonest to claim victimhood falsely. When revealed it cheapens the real stories and provides encouragement to those who want to reject the message.

Again, I will recant in a minute with apology if "Waylon" can persuade the author to make it a verifiable account. Otherwise this is a site where fact and fiction cannot be distinguished and I wont be visiting again.

    anonymous May 24, 2011 8:22pm

    I find it fascinating how you are so disturbed by the damage that this unverified story could do, in your opinion, because it "cheapens the real stories and provides encouragement to those who want to reject the message. " And yet, you say this in opposition to those who claim false accusations of rape, IE, stories that "cheapen the real stories and provides encouragement to those who want to reject the message. " are destructive. Can you not see the hypocrisy?

      anonymous May 29, 2011 6:04pm

      Too Neat, I'm happy as an editor, I'd prefer to have her name on it. When the trial is resolved, perhaps she'll allow such. As it is, I think it's admirable she's not trying to use media to curry public sentiment and opinion, support for her son, though he is much loved in this community. Again, none of that love means anything in terms of whether we should or should not believe the story of this gentle giant. I know him well and have no idea, beyond knowing his character and the fact that, apparently, his ex-gfs all are psyched to testify for him. ~ Waylon

anonymous May 24, 2011 12:09pm

This was written by a man, and there is no indicted son with a story exactly as described. The voice is wrong. The details too neat. Real life is messier and more ambiguous. It would be far more persuasive if the author signed it, and far more supportive of "her" "son". The reason for anonymity is unconvincing. This does not mean most of the points and the overall argument are not valid— just that this letter is a fraud. Impersonating victims is common (as the author ironically points out).

Sorry I have not been a regular reader, nor do I know Waylon Lewis. I read this because it was linked from another forum. It is powerful, persuasive writing. But it smells wrong.

    anonymous May 29, 2011 6:01pm

    Well, Sherlock, hundreds of us in Boulder know the man in question. I obviously can't prove who he is, since it's in trial, but I have the emails from his mother and obviously made sure that he and she were for real as far as I could. Whether you believe her or his version of the events is, of course, up to you and each of us. ~ Waylon

anonymous May 23, 2011 10:49am

[…] “Women don’t Lie.” ~ Anonymous — This article comes via the mother of a longtime friend of mine, who I and many of us know to be a gentle bear of a man, far kinder and sweeter than me or just about anyone I know..! We here at elephant are happy to support this important dialogue. I would only ask that we conduct any discussion in a respectful manner, given the many painful and troubling questions it invites. We must all remember that while you and I are free to bike around and work and eat lunch and take our dogs for walks, friends of ours may be stuck in similar situations as the below. Right or wrong, this is a situation that calls for compassion and insight. […]

    anonymous May 29, 2011 10:48pm

    This woman’s son could be punished MUCH more harshly if she maintains her “denial”.

    He is a dead man walking, and the more people who defend his innocence, and believe he did not rape the poor victim, thw worse it will go for him.

    He’s the Next Ted Bundy who can fool everyone BUT the “experts” – the “experts” being feminist advocates, of course.

    I have OFTEN spoken to women with sons, who spout off about women not having the right to vote (their gender didn’t fight, suffer or die for the right, they earned the “right by proxy”) and the disparity between what men and women earn. “YOUR son is earning more than a woman doing the same job? “OH NO! No MY son!”

    It’s ALWAYS someone else’s son that’s bad.

anonymous May 23, 2011 3:36am

This article is clearly written in a biased way from a mother trying to protect her son. I think the above case is irrelevant to the matter, as the girl truly believes that she was raped, and has deep psychological issues…I do not think she is aware of the ‘lie’ or that she intentionally set out to deliberately get her ex back. What is clear is that there needs to be a reformation of the law, in cases like this the accuser’s history of mental ill health should be disclosed and investigated, especially as changes in medication co-inside with her claim of rape. This should be done by state law practice before going to court…to protect the privacy of real victims within the court system.

But look how easily this article has opened up a very hateful bag of worms. Yes, everyone knows, male and female, that there are women who lie about being abused. I was the victim of sexual abuse myself, I told the truth and members of my family chose NOT to believe/support me. I think every case has to be looked at individually without emotional investment – as with other sensitive cases such as homicide – with level-headed judgement and fairness. I am disappointed by the responses her on this blog, clearly sexism is still powerfully engrained into many peoples psyches, just below the surface. I am also shocked that most people, both male and female cannot she the obvious bias in the article!!!!!

Last note: the point that people blindly accept cries of rape as truthful is BS!!!! I think you can give the general population a bit more credit than that and you might just find that there are a hell of a lot more open-minded level-headed people out there than you appreciate. At the end of the day, rape claims should be taken seriously, and -then- if found to be ludicrous – discarded.

anonymous May 23, 2011 2:14am

Exactly my point-

These women are illogical, emotional, and prone to emotional hysterics. They can't even see how they are undermining the very cause they are fighting to maintain. I probably should not even point out how they are pulling the rug out from under their own feet. As Napoleon once said "Never interrupt your enemy when he is busy making a mistake."

To that end:

Keep it up girls – You have my everlasting support. Never back down.

anonymous May 22, 2011 4:08pm

False accusations of rape only hurt real victims of rape.

    anonymous Jun 24, 2011 3:40pm

    Well they actually hurt all men especially the falsely accused

anonymous May 22, 2011 3:25pm

More BS language – the woman who is "terrified" for her daughter, the histrionic and estrogen-fueled screams of misogyny.

This is the bellowing of a bunch of spoiled brats who are losing the argument. And know it.

Many women here are proving that they cannot engage this topic like rational adults, resorting to fear-mongering, and displays of adolescent rage and name-calling.

Game over, gals – the guys are starting to figure you out.

Stop your hysterical ranting for a second and think about what kind of a message you are sending to reasonable, undecided male readers here:

You are displaying a tremendous disregard for those men falsely accused, and extending every benefit of the doubt to women. And us guys are supposed to go along with that? You think a bit of whining and foot-stamping will sway these men to your side? You're every bit as loony as crazy religious people, since you have an unwavering faith in your own unproven mythology.

If you were smarter, you would at least make a pretense of being reasonable, instead of emotional, since this would help your argument. But you can't help yourselves, you enter the discussion with a symphony of drama and hype, undermining your credibility with most people, except for those who are swayed by emotional outbursts – in other words, other irrational, emotional crazies.

This is what we call a "losing strategy".

anonymous May 21, 2011 11:49am

I feel empathy for the writer of this article having grown up at the hands of an emotionally and sometimes physically abusive mother. However, it is incredulous to me that feminists can’t see (or won’t acknowledge) the damage they are causing to society until it comes to their front door. Why would that be unless there is pervasive, profound misandry operant in our culture today. In a gender equal society the idea that “women don’t lie (and men do)” would be seen as outrageous garbage. We are all human beings after all, with all the imperfections of our human kind. Feminists are not, by any means, above those imperfections. And they never has been.

But the damage done to this unfortunate, good man will be with him emotionally for the rest of his life. It will also follow him for the rest of his life. Yesterday, women were branded with the scarlet letter of an “A”. Today, men are branded with the “tattoo” of an “R”. I work at a major airport where there is an abundance of high paying jobs demanding a high skill level. However, if a man has ever been convicted of sexual abuse of any kind the airport authority will not issue a security ID which he would need to work on the field. I’m sure that is the case with many companies in this country today.

If feminists have gone too far in their persecution of men, there is no sign that they are ready or willing to stop.

    anonymous May 23, 2011 11:56pm

    Why would they ever stop?

    If you keep throwing bailout money at the banking industry will they suddenly grow a conscience and start lending to small US based businesses at a reasonable interest rate?

    We all need to realize something right here and right now.

    They. Will. Not. Stop.

    Ever.

    I see a lot of comments along the lines of "well… you women broke it, now ya'll have to fix it 'cause we have no legal power…"

    You are going to be waiting a VERY long time for that to happen. I suspect the sun will turn into a black hole before that ever happens.

anonymous May 21, 2011 9:40am

[…] […]

anonymous May 20, 2011 9:34pm

It can be addressed in several ways. Usually the starting point for a society-wide change is in society-wide debate. This article is part of that, and I applaud the author for attempting to start that process with open, honest debate.

anonymous May 20, 2011 7:17am

That woman who sued your son probably wasn't lying. I would bet that she and many of the other women who made false rape claims had actually been raped or sexually assaulted when they were not in a position to do anything about it. She may be seeking resolution for deep, ancient wounds by claiming a lawsuit against your son, instead of the man (or men) who hurt her. What she needs is help dealing with whatever situation she is actually referring to when she says she was raped and healing so that she can let go of using litigation as a means of control.

    anonymous May 20, 2011 2:59pm

    "What she needs is help dealing with whatever situation she is actually referring to when she says she was raped and healing so that she can let go of using litigation as a means of control. "

    Baloney. What she needs is to be prosecuted for her crime and sent to prison for a good stretch. Then, after she gets out, she can talk to a counselor about her issues if she feels like.

    anonymous May 20, 2011 9:57pm

    And rapists need help dealing with whatever leads them to rape another person.

    anonymous May 20, 2011 11:23pm

    Jennifer. If you accuse someone of such a crime, you had better get the right person! Seeking resolution by accusing "someone" of the crime of rape, and not the person that committed the deed? So let me get this straight, you think that it is acceptable to accuse a person of rape when they were not the one WHO COMMITTED THE CRIME? This is acceptable to you? So, you have moved from getting the guilty party, to just "get someone/anyone"?
    Whether she has mental issues or has been hurt, is no reason to falsely accuse someone. That she needs help is very apparent, and that help should be in form of jail time, because no matter how you slice it she is the person who has made the accusation, this is HER RESPONSIBILITY Nobody else s, but hers.!

anonymous May 20, 2011 6:35am

Reading several pages of comments, I find the rhetoric and vitriol being spewed appalling. I think one of the largest problems I’ve noticed is the “Labels” that are being thrown around willy nilly and with abandon. Misogyny, Misandry, Feminists, Feminazi, Patriarchy, Bi-Polar and others. How about this? A young woman made claims against a young man, her claims are believed to be false, by the young man’s mother, however they must be proven to be false. Until then the young man is in the hands of the Criminal Justice System. If the young woman’s claims are proven to be false, she should be held accountable for them. That is the real issue here. The lack of accountability. When a person can make specious claims against another and has no repercussions from their actions when they are proven specious, we have a problem. The problem being the system of Checks and Balances has been skewed to favor those who would make such claims, against those who must defend themselves from them. We need to re-balance the scales of justice so those making specious, false, and malicious claims can be held accountable for their actions. Until such time as that happens, this young man’s story will be the story of many others.

Now where are the labels? I laid out the facts as I saw them. I did not use “Labels” to do so. However many Men and Women of varying beliefs hold on to those labels with a passion. They throw them out as a weapon to wound others. Where, in a proper system of Checks and Balances, do those fit? They do not. So men and women need to stop using those “Labels”. They only obfuscate the issue behind rhetoric, jargon and even hatred, instead of clearing the air so a real dialog can begin.

Rev. Mark L. Anderson

Fulton, TX

    anonymous May 20, 2011 7:18am

    "A young woman made claims against a young man, her claims are believed to be false, by the young man's mother, however they must be proven to be false."

    Really? Well, that's part of the problem. You see, for every other crime, the person making the claims must prove that the claims are true. Only with this crime is the accused required to prove his innocence.

    With "logic" such as that, I feel deep pity for your parishioners.

    anonymous Jun 24, 2011 3:36pm

    No her statements do not need to be proven false, her accusations have to be proven true. Oh but that is the probllme MEN ARE ASSUMED TO BE GUILTY!!!

anonymous May 19, 2011 8:19pm

Exactly. I have seen similar cases for years. A high school teacher in Orange County CA scolded two girls for not changing clothes for gym class. They concocted a fondling story and ruined his life. Eventually, these 14 years old girls admitted they lied or he would be in prison. That was 15 years ago.

anonymous May 19, 2011 7:02pm

I think its time we pass a law, that anyone who knowingly falsely accuses someone of a crime, shall be guilty of said crime and all punishments shall be imposed.

    anonymous Jul 18, 2011 4:39pm

    "…..I think its time we pass a law, that anyone who knowingly falsely accuses someone of a crime, shall be guilty of said crime and all punishments shall be imposed….."

    That's a great idea now, and it was a great idea 3300 years ago —

    "The judges must make a thorough investigation, and if the witness proves to be a liar, giving false testimony against a fellow Israelite, then do to the false witness as that witness intended to do to the other party. You must purge the evil from among you." Deuteronomy 19:18-19

    Interestingly enough, history's first recorded false rape accusation (which led to an undeserved prison sentence) occurred 3700 years ago; see Genesis 39:7-20 for the account.

    Truly, there is nothing new under the sun.

anonymous May 19, 2011 6:51pm

"[Sarah] came to Robert’s house and told him she didn’t want to see him anymore. It wasn’t quite as clear cut as that because she lay down on the bed with Robert and there was flirting and fondling before she came to her decision. When she did, Robert agreed, and got up, walked her to the door. They hugged and he walked her to her car."

The guy made a serious mistake in the first place by dating a woman who claimed that she had a history as an abused child, and who had a current history of mental illness. As soon as he found that out, he should have left her immediately, and never taken another call or text from her. Instead, he keeps the relationship going (even though he has reservations), and then gets into bed with her, at which point she breaks up with him.

Never mind that bed is not the best place to have this kind of conversation. But it should never have gotten to that point in the first place.

Sad to say, but "Robert" sounds like a typical "nice guy," one who didn't trust his gut (or common sense.) Your right hand is way better than dealing with both mental illness and drug-withdrawal psychosis.

anonymous May 19, 2011 5:59pm

All you folks shocked – SHOCKED – by the “misogynist” comments: Rape is a serious crime. You can go to jail for many years. Men are treated as second-class citizens in this area of the law, and in family law. When it’s clear that they aren’t getting justice, people tend to be very upset.

You want the misogynist attitudes to go away? Work for justice.

Isn’t that what started the hateful feminist rhetoric? Lack of justice? See if you can get the beam out of your own eye, for crying out loud.

anonymous May 19, 2011 5:00pm

You might also have mentioned Stephen Baskerville's "Taken Into Custody"
(The War Against Fathers, Marriage, and the Family), of which here is an excerpt:
http://no-pasaran.blogspot.com/2008/06/witch-hunt

"The regime of involuntary divorce, forcible removal of children, coerced child support, and knowingly false accusations is now warping our entire legal system, undermining and overturning principles of common law that have protected individual rights for centuries. The presumption of innocence has been inverted"

anonymous May 19, 2011 4:59pm

[…] as a problem with men generally. Well, women aren’t morally superior, their flaws just vary slightly. But don’t even think about drawing general conclusions about the moral worth of a gender from […]

anonymous May 18, 2011 11:08pm

I totally agree with Kimberly Johnson or what ever her name is. Women *never* lie about rape, and should be able to report it when they wish, as they wish, and should be able to change their mind at will about it at any moment when they are having intercourse. They should also be able to go into shady neighbourhoods wearing skimpy clothing, and NOT be raped (where rape is defined as anything from catcalls to penetration. Anyone who rapes said woman (rape as defined earlier) should be sentenced to death, or at the very least, prison for life. Only then will women be strong, powerful, and confident enough to report all the rape occuring in society of thousands of men staring at their half-exposed breasts.

anonymous May 18, 2011 2:08pm

Waylon, and other EJers, I am really disturbed by these comments. I hope that this is an aberration, and not a foreshadowing of what I can expect to find at Elephant Journal. I applaud you publishing the article, and I don't advocate censorship – but there's alot of hate here that I never expect to see at EJ. I know I will get reamed for writing this, but I want you at EJ to know how upsetting it is to see this kind of "dialogue" here.
Peace.

    anonymous May 18, 2011 7:10pm

    It's a foreshadowing of what you will begin to see everywhere. Good men are getting fed up with being treated like criminals based solely on our gender. The feminist movement had it's haters too, haters that got published repeatedly. The internet does not have such demanding standards for those that seek to write.

      anonymous May 18, 2011 10:24pm

      Lisa's just getting what she deserves. Remember she still has a problem with men.

    anonymous May 19, 2011 12:07am

    This is a foreshadowing of the world you've created by treating half the population as though they are contemptible scum. Hate bounces.

    Why are you acting so surprised? Any time one group of people starts believeing they're better than everyone else, the result is always the same.

      anonymous May 22, 2011 9:18pm

      Hate bounces? Then don't bounce back. I've deleted more rude comments on this post than in the past year, total. I don't mind disagreement, or any of these opinions, as long as thoughtfully, intelligently, respectfully expressed.

      We don't have to become dbags when we disagree with those we view as wrong, hey!? ~ Waylon

anonymous May 18, 2011 11:00am

[…] […]

anonymous May 18, 2011 1:13am

Sic semper tyrannis.

anonymous May 17, 2011 11:39pm

Wow! So you think that when a woman says she now sees that men can be victimised by the system which she in part helped to create, and that she wants the system and society to resolve this injustice, that calling her names and being angry at her is the right response?

Really? This encourages what, exactly?

    anonymous May 20, 2011 4:11pm

    This is what feminism has brought upon the world. The rage is only going to grow.

    There is a certain historical pattern which revolutions follow. It is, that when the ruling powers in a particular situation wait TOO LONG, until the situation becomes too catastrophic and the storm finally breaks out in all of its fury, then "appeasement" becomes futile. When that stage is reached, NOTHING will sate the bloodlust of the sansculottes, and the howling demand for vengeance grows and grows and spirals out of control until the tragedy finally runs its course.

    The wise policy is to undertake reform early, BEFORE things pass a critical stage. (E.G. the ruling class of Russia wisely liberated the serfs circa 1860, because they wisely knew just how savage matters would become if a full scale peasant war eventually broke out. Possibly the example of the French Revolution guided their policy. They were years ahead of the curve in their thinking!)

    The question is, have we entered the radical 'sansculotte' stage yet vis a vis feminism? Have we passed the critical threshold at which appeasement or reform measures can no longer stem the out-of-control spiralling effect?

    I do in fact believe we have reached that stage. I believe that the feminist "powers that be", in their overweening hubris, have sacrificed their early "window of opportunity" for reformist measures, and that from here on out an anti-feminist socio-political Jacquerie will form, which will demand progressively greater and greater retributive measures against feminism and feminists — and this will shoot straight through the roof!

    I believe that interesting times lie ahead.

anonymous May 17, 2011 3:06pm

Well, well, well! Your son has had his consciousness raised!

anonymous May 17, 2011 9:28am

Here in Los Angeles, we had a task force that completed the evaluation of a backlog of thousands of DNA rape kits. The evaluators proudly exclaimed that they were able to make several cases against men as a result. No one even asked how many men were exonerated by the new evidence. In fact, the very idea of finding evidence to exonerate men was never pursued.

anonymous May 17, 2011 7:53am

Bravo for this article! It sheds light on a myriad of issues gone too long overlooked. The theme that stood out to me is the issue of mental illness. Those living with a mental illness face challenges that, especially in this case, are treated as delicate and almost speculative. Truth is subjective to the mentally ill and that must be taken into account in criminal cases. I was raised by a bi-polar mother and as a grown woman, speaking with her today, we lived two separate experiences when I was growing up. I remember bringing up the issue of my mother's behavior with family and friends and I was told that I needed to straighten up and be a better child; that my mother worked very hard for what we had and I should have been grateful. I let the issue go and watched my mother spiral out of control, undiagnosed, until her life was a stake. Today, life is better for both my mother and I, but in the negligence we both lost so much. I hope Robert can forgive this poor woman for what she has done and I truly hope that governments will take note of these issues.

    anonymous May 17, 2011 12:56pm

    Why is it that when a woman does something awful it's a result of some mental illness and she needs treatment? When a man does something awful it's because men do awful things so he need punishment. Stop making excuses when women behave badly.

      anonymous May 19, 2011 9:23pm

      Have you not read the article? The woman making the accusation has an diagnosed mental illness. No one said that sane women never do anything awful, nor that whenever men do something it's because they are awful. But, in this case, this woman does indeed have a mental illness.

anonymous May 17, 2011 6:42am

[…] Hasselberger · 1 week ago That’s horrible! I have a 10year old son and your story–along with others I’ve […]

anonymous May 17, 2011 2:38am

Wonderful article. I'm glad abuse is being seen as something anyone can do, men and women, and that whenever opportunity and motive exists, some people will do it. Abusing someone by accusing them of rape is something that needs to be addressed. The systemic sexism in our legal systems needs to be confronted and abolished if we men are to be able to become fully fledged human beings without fear of punishment or ridicule for expressing our feelings in ways other than anger.

anonymous May 16, 2011 9:59pm

As a woman, let me say thank you.

anonymous May 16, 2011 9:20pm

To the Author (the mother). It is unfortunate that this has happened, and your son has my sympathies, but it was necessary in order to expose the truth to you. What you may still not realize is the emotional damage your son is going to suffer, but you are in several unique positions. First of which is as a victim yourself. false accusations are a deeply personal violation, perhaps not as much so as rape itself, but far more drawn out, and far more humiliating then rape ever was. And your son will be able to benefit from your experience dealing with that turmoil.

The next reason you are in a unique position is your years of experience as an advocate. You know what needs to be done to accomplish things, and you know the truths and the lies that have been told (though it may take you some time to sort them out. Unfortunately, you will quickly find your colleagues, the people you believed in and trusted, turning their backs, or even attacking you. You can already see it in the comments of people like Kimberly and Laura. Despite your many years of activism, this new campaign, if you choose to fight it beyond the scope of your son, will require you to start from scratch as everyone you could count on abandons you for betraying their ideology. In addition to attacks by former peers, you will also need to sustain the anger of the very men you have spent decades persecuting as predators. These will be a whole new pain added to your existing turmoil, and I can only hope you can endure it. For yourself. For your son. And for all the innocent men who could benefit from your experience and drive, should you choose to champion against the injustice suffered by men and boys.

Just know that not all men will hate you for your past. And I wish you and your son strength to endure as both your lives fall apart in the days, months, years to come.

Mark Neil

    anonymous May 22, 2011 9:32pm

    Thanks for signing off, Mark. ~ Waylon

anonymous May 16, 2011 9:17pm

Want to help balance lots of horribly mean comments? Please:

#
Polly Lynn Unfriend the meanies…

#
Karen Nelson Mangold Wow. I don't know where to start tonight.. I feel a blog post in the making though. I will definitely comment.

#
elephantjournal.com I've already deleted four of the worst, as per our Mean Comments Suck policy.

#
elephantjournal.com
To be clear, I don't mind opinions either way. We're all about dialogue, genuine open dialogue. We are not about insulting, mean, degraded, vicioius, anonymous commenting. http://www.elephantjournal.com/2010/08/be-nice-or

#
Polly Lynn You are filling a gap desperately needed in on going dialog of life there is not one day that goes by that as part of my experience on line I find importance in what you post …I am grateful!

#
Karen Nelson Mangold Dang it Waylon.. You're gonna make me have to fire up the lap top tonight aren't you? Sigh. 😉

#
Rachel Kavita Steele
Okay, well, no one is saying women never make false accusations in rape cases (the Duke one comes to mind), and this woman and her family seem to be going through a horrible ordeal BUT, women, more so than they make false claims, still face… EXTRAORDINARY victim blaming (like the NYTimes talking about what a child who was gang raped was wearing). Sexual assault and rape have by no means lost their meaning as words or actions, even as false accusations hurt every woman (or man) who then must make a true "accusation." If anything, the popularity of rape jokes and acceptance of a date rape culture hurt the meaning of the words that describe a horrific traumatic event. The author has the right to her opinion, but when you, elephant journal, publish a link to the article, and ask people to outweigh negative feedback, you take an editorial standpoint that you agree with this article, which is part of the reason I no longer write for the magazine.See More

#
Lauren Hanna Foster What's funny, is that I didn't post to this BECAUSE I had too many wonderful things to say. I thought it would take too long. I'll write now!

#
Rachel Kavita Steele
For what's its worth, my feminism has nothing to do with, nor ever will, an assumption and broad generalization, such as "women never lie." I fight for equality, the end to patriarchy and msyogony, for queer rights, and i do all this to ma…ke a better future for present and future sons and daughters and every gender spectrum in between. Nor because of one case, does that change that most women attempting to charge and prosecute a rapists do not have the law or legal system on their side at all.

#
Beverly Mazzarella The article made me mildly concerned for my two sons, that something so unlikely could happen to them. The sheer hostility of the comments make me terrified for my daughter.

anonymous May 16, 2011 8:48pm

The confusion lies in the hatred demonstrated towards feminism. Laura is showing typical feminist arrogance in believing that feminism is representative of all women. that if a man hates feminism, he hates women. She is unable to divorce the idea that feminism is an ideology made up of both men and women, but does not include all women (and in fact, 3 out of 5 UK women bellow the age of 30 actually reject the label feminism). Feminism also tends to make the mistake of believing it has a monopoly on egalitarian thought, That if one does not believe in feminism, they are not capable of believing in equality.

    anonymous May 20, 2011 5:20pm

    "Laura is showing typical feminist arrogance in believing that feminism is representative of all women."

    She is also showing typical feminist arrogance in believing that feminism is representative of the world in general.

anonymous May 16, 2011 8:42pm

Vanessa and Kratch, I find myself in the awkward position of agreeing with both of you. The vitriol is sad and useless, and it is understandable as well. Hard to know how to proceed.

anonymous May 16, 2011 8:31pm

The rabid misogyny exposed in these comments is breathtaking to me. Reading the article, I am only mildly concerned for my sons – that something so unlikely might happen to them. Reading the comments, I am terrified for my daughter.

    anonymous May 16, 2011 9:38pm

    I've now deleted eight comments. I hate deleting comments—we love dialogue. I do, however, not want to be responsible for providing a platform for casual, lazy hate. If you have something to offer, here, make it thoughtful, and put your name on it. ~ Waylon

anonymous May 16, 2011 8:19pm

Okay, well, no one is saying women never make false accusations in rape cases (the Duke one comes to mind), and this woman and her family seem to be going through a horrible ordeal BUT, women, more so than they make false claims, still face… EXTRAORDINARY victim blaming (like the NYTimes talking about what a child who was gang raped was wearing). Sexual assault and rape have by no means lost their meaning as words or actions, even as false accusations hurt every woman (or man) who then must make a true "accusation." If anything, the popularity of rape jokes and acceptance of date rape culture hurt the meaning of the words that describe a horrific, traumatic event. The author has the right to her opinion, but when you, elephant journal, publish a link to the article, and ask people to outweigh negative feedback, you take an editorial standpoint that you agree with this article, which is part of the reason I no longer write for the magazine.
For what's its worth, my feminism has nothing to do with, nor ever will, an assumption and broad generalization, such as "women never lie." I fight for equality, the end to patriarchy and misogyny, for queer rights, and i do all this to ma…ke a better future for present and future sons and daughters and every gender spectrum in between. Nor because of one case, does that change that most women attempting to charge and prosecute a rapists do not have the law or legal system on their side at all

    anonymous May 16, 2011 8:45pm

    Well said, Rachel–except the part about EJ's solicitation of balancing viewpoint being tantamount to agreeing with the article; as far as I can see, Waylon just wants people to be respectful rather than bestial. But about the experience of most accusers, I think you are on the mark, and appreciate your speaking up.

      anonymous May 16, 2011 9:37pm

      Thanks, YesuDas. Yes, Rachel, I'm all for respectful dialogue whatever the pov…that's the point of publishing such a work as this—there isn't enough. It's too easy to slander and insult rather than contemplate, and offer helpful words so we can get our society out of such confusion and suffering. ~ W.

    anonymous May 20, 2011 6:10pm

    "I fight for equality, the end to patriarchy and misogyny…"

    Do you see the problem here? You are throwing feminist jargon in the faces of people who find your terminology problematic or even offensive. Not everybody is a feminist.

    The term "patriarchy" in particular, is DEEPLY offensive to a lot of people; it is a red flag word. Are you not aware of this?? We MRA types are hip to the pragmatic real-world meaning of this term: it is merely a codeword for male power. When you talk about "ending patriarchy", you are talking about ending male power, ultimately in whatever form it might appear.

    "Misogynist" is a cheap smear word that means everything and nothing — it has about the same degree of intelligence as "fascist", and far too many idiots throw this word around in lieu of actual thinking about what they are saying.

    As for "equality": just let's confine all use of that term to the realm of mathematics, OK? It is semantic garbage. It is the poison fruit of the French Revolution, and should have died with Robespierre & co. Whatever you feel you need to express via that word, see if you can't reduce it to descriptive phrases and operationalizable cases.

    So…I would advise you to drop feminist jargon from your speech, and resort to a more common vocabulary. Otherwise, you will only alienate the non-feminist sector and increase polarization.

anonymous May 16, 2011 7:32pm

To be clear, I don't mind opinions either way. We're all about dialogue, genuine open dialogue. We are not about insulting, mean, degraded, vicious, anonymous commenting. http://www.elephantjournal.com/2010/08/be-nice-or

Let's keep this intelligent, constructive, we can allll do it, whatever our worth opinions.

Yours,

Waylon

    anonymous May 17, 2011 4:44pm

    Apparently not. This is one of the most vicious set of comments I've ever read. I'm truly disturbed by this article and particularly by the hostility and aggression in the comments. I hope someone steps in with clarity, intelligence, wisdom, compassion, and balance because from what I can see, this is causing far more harm than good.

    I understand people wanting to be anonymous. People are getting slaughtered.

      anonymous May 22, 2011 9:24pm

      People would get less "slaughtered" if any of you had the guts to stand behind your own words. ~ Waylon

anonymous May 16, 2011 4:25pm

This is a tragic story (and one that has attracted rather a lot of embittered people), but it is also tragically common.

Please do check out the False Rape Society, avoiding some of the more inflammatory commentary that it attracts. They aren't reactionary hotheads, and they aren't pushing an adversarial stance.

anonymous May 16, 2011 1:55pm

What gets me is not just the false rape accusation.

It’s when I read a little deeper into this, and saw what had actually happened with the son she raised, the son called a “beautiful strong man” who was “sensitive to the needs of women”.

He was being used as a Small Emergency Backup Guy and emotional tampon by a bipolar woman, and after a couple of months (months!) of “dating” her, he tried to break out of the friend zone, and all hell broke loose.

I’m sorry, Ms., but you didn’t raise a “beautiful strong man”. You raised a cripple. I know you love him and wanted the best for him, but you have wronged him grievously.

You spent too much time worrying about the wrongs he might commit, rather than about the wrongs he might suffer. You have taught him not to assert himself, not to stand up for himself, not to be a man.

This is why he has to date emotional cripples. Because healthy women want healthy men, masculine men who will challenge them, and engage their femininity, not “sensitive nice guys” who “understand their needs”. Healthy women want a playmate, not a therapist.

Men like your son are unable to mate, or must scrape the bottom of the barrel, because women don’t respect them. Your son is dating a bipolar woman precisely because only a woman who needs that much niceness is willing to put up with the lack of assertiveness and of even (sexual) aggression that comes with it.

Feminism has begun to eat itself because the men that it has made are not attractive, even to feminists.

The fact is that this “on again, off again boyfriend who didn’t treat her very well” is more attractive to this woman than your son is. He may treat her badly sometimes, but his ability to assert himself appeals to her instinctive attraction responses in ways that your son cannot… or rather, is afraid to.

This is your fault. You treated your son like a potential problem, hazard, or risk, because he was born with a penis. You were more concerned about him than for him. You were so worried that he might become a hammer, that you made him into a nail.

You betrayed your own flesh and blood in the name of an abstract philosophy.

If your eyes were open, you might be able to help undo the damage. By telling him that you were wrong. By telling him that macho is a Good thing. By telling him that masculine power built civilization, and sustains it, and that real, healthy, beautiful, admirable women are drawn to, rather than repelled by, it. You could tell him that no doesn’t always mean no.

But I don’t think you are strong and secure enough to do that

    anonymous Jul 13, 2013 9:45pm

    THIS. THIS….

    This is why boys need fathers.

    anonymous Aug 12, 2013 6:21pm

    My thoughts exactly!

anonymous May 16, 2011 12:57pm

By the way, we only need to win over a majority of the men to change the political climate.

We do not need single woman to side with us, even though there are many traditional women who fully acknowledge that feminism has destroyed the character of women and made them too risky to marry.

Why am I so confident? Because I know that I can count on most feminists to maintain their stubborn, foolish attitude come what may. The inability or unwillingness of feminists to show even one ounce of conciliatory behavior means that they will eventually go too far and lose the support of all but the most willingly deluded.

To all you women who keep falsely accusing men of "hate". You are no better than women who falsely accuse of rape:

You have no moral code other than the desire to win at all costs. Men know that about you know and will avoid you, because you lack honor.

anonymous May 16, 2011 12:23pm

i worked as an investigator for a very large public defender's office this past summer in which i sat in on a particular rape trial. our client was the man who had been accused of rape– his nephew was the one who accused him. my job was really fascinating because it put me at odds with my own stances; on several occasions, we represented men accused of rape. in this case–the one with the uncle/nephew–our client was completely innocent. he was found innocent. which brings me to my point: the conviction rate for rape is extremely low. for accusations of rape for a person that a woman has known for more than 24 hours, the conviction rate is only 35%. (good article here on statistics: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27825997/ns/health-wo

anonymous May 16, 2011 11:11am

The problem here is not that women are bad, or that men are bad, but that our society has been poisoned by a flavor of Marxism that seeks to divide people up and set us at war with one another.

anonymous May 16, 2011 10:40am

This is one of the biggest reasons, more and more men are withdrawing from women, and going their own way.

When it becomes to men that interactions with women carry an overwhelming amount of risk with very extreme minimum of reward, more and more withdraw leading to a gulf between the sexes that may never be bridged.

anonymous May 16, 2011 9:01am

[…] now says she was naive to believe that women don’t lie about rape. Writing on a blog called The Elephant she […]

anonymous May 16, 2011 6:51am

Hello karma.

As you know, my mother is a bigoted sexist feminist. She and her coven of man-haters cooked up countless ways to humiliate and dehumanize men — and then they tested their cruelties on their male children.

I would welcome any one of these horrible women, if they chose to renounce thier hate movement and fight for the MRM.

This is a war in which we MRM have far fewer soldiers than the enemy. We cannot afford to be picky.

    anonymous May 16, 2011 3:40pm

    Agreed. It is unfortunate that it requires a personal tragedy for her to see the truth, but in fairness, it appears a personal tragedy is what blinded her to it to begin with. That factor should not be ignored.

anonymous May 16, 2011 5:18am

You say you spent time fighting for a womans right to be believed and organizing take back the night rallies…. the reason that women are treated with suspicion is that women lie about rape, abuse and victim hood, take back the night works by presenting a false and exaggerated reality about rape, in other words feminists groups lie about rape to the public.

The famous 2% or rape accusations are false, is also another feminist lie.

II. AT THE HEART OF THE TWO PERCENT FALSE CLAIM FIGURE
A. The Overwhelming Consensus
One highly respected legal academic, elected by her peers as
president of the prestigious Association of American Law Schools,
recently reported that “the overwhelming consensus in . . . research
relying on government data is that false reports account for only
about 2 percent of rape complaints.”
9
It is indisputably true that,
largely through the efforts of legal dominance feminists, there now
exists a consensus among legal academics that only two percent of
rape complaints are false.
10
This purportedly empirical statement is
ubiquitously repeated in legal literature. Dozens of law review
articles reiterate that no more than one in fifty rape complaints is
false.
11
This empirical fact, however, is an ideological fabrication.
12
http://ncfm.org/libraryfiles/Children/rape/greer….

If feminism wasn't to put the idea that women lie about rape and abuse to bed, a better approach would be to go after the women that do lie, and not lying about rape in order to achieve its goals.

    anonymous May 17, 2011 4:31pm

    Thank you so much for writing this.

      anonymous May 17, 2011 4:30pm

      oops, i meant to comment below, not here.

anonymous May 15, 2011 10:26pm

I am sorry to hear of your troubles, especially for your son. As a writer in the men’s movement one of the first pieces I wrote was an appeal to women to consider the fact that misandric feminism would not spare their sons or other men they love.

http://www.avoiceformen.com/2010/04/02/a-message-to-women/

This is not an “I told you so.” It is a “I wish you had listened.”

I hope, through the difficulties you now face, that you keep working to help other people listen.

    anonymous May 15, 2011 10:19pm

    Good God! That poor teacher. This is a perfect example of a travesty of justice. This man and his family have been royally screwed over by his employer, the whole investigative process, and the accuser. This is a stain that will never go completely away, and on top of it all, his employer sure comes across as having an agenda to get rid of him. Cowards, nothing but gutless cowards, all of the ones involved who put this family through this.
    Now, with the above being said, exactly who will pay for this screw-up, the child (not a chance, nor her parents), the cops/prosecutor (that will be a cold day in hell), his employer for screwing him around (unlikely, unless they really get stupid and he gets a good lawyer) and then the TAXPAYER will foot the bill for their mistakes.
    More peoples lives/reputations screwed over, and, with his legal bill and gutless employers game playing this is not over for this family. I guess that "nobody really" is responsible.
    Here is a start, sue the parents, that's right, sue the parents. As they are legally responsible for the underage child, let them get drug through the system and face the consequences/legal bills, just like this teacher and his family, but I sincerely doubt that will happen. Unfortunately, unless somebody takes them to task, then you can forget about personal responsibility.

anonymous May 15, 2011 4:06pm

I think it is important to note, that while there are certainly false accusations of rape in which there was no rape (or assault). Some of the instances that are falling under this supposed 60% seem to be cases in which the wrong person was accused, not cases in which nothing happened. This doesn't make a woman a liar. If someone is later exonerated by DNA evidence, because the technology is not available before, it does not mean that the woman lied about the rape, but instead misidentified her attacker. The incidence of misidentification, as in any crime, is highly elevated when they perpetrator is of different race than the victim and/or witness. Studies have shown that people often, maybe even the majority of the time, misidentify a suspect when that suspect is a different race. It doesn't make an accuser a liar.

    anonymous May 15, 2011 4:33pm

    I don't doubt for a second that you are correct about the mis-identification. However, if t really does
    no good once the accused gets "into the system". Why is there NOT a vehicle for erasing these wrongful charges form "the system" and all other related systems? Exactly, how do you safeguard the falsely accused, the damage has been done.
    And as for punishment, i think it SHOULD happen in provable cases, but I doubt it will happen. For false accusations there should be jail time, because if this is all about justice for the person who is raped/molested, why should there not be justice for the falsely accused. Even if exonerated the falsely accused will bear the stain of this more than likely the rest of their life. Rape should be punished harshly, but should false accusations.

      anonymous May 17, 2011 11:30pm

      It's presently necessary to punish false accusations because they result in the falsely accused losing their employment and being listed as a sex offender (at least those are the two that come immediately to mind). You could punish a lying accuser as deterrence. Or you COULD remove the reason that false accusations are so devastating. Either way works for me.

        anonymous May 19, 2011 1:32pm

        It's also perjury – contempt for the court.

    anonymous May 16, 2011 1:16am

    Actually, the 60% number comes from the military, if I recall correctly. You see, they aren't allowed to refuse a polygraph. The 60% number of false accusations is because of the number of recanted accusations when faced with a polygraph demand.

      anonymous May 19, 2011 8:38pm

      Since the author failed to cite her statistics as she went along, I didn't know where the 60% came from. It was made to seem that it was something that happened in society in general. There may be something about the military culture that leads to these elevated cases of false accusations. Or that lead women to recant. But, I imagine that having a polygraph about something like this, or retelling the experience when something did in fact happen, to a bunch of unsympathetic military men, would render someone extremely nervous, upset (what have you) and lead to some really wild polygraph results.

      I know from male friends who were in the military the way some women are treated. And, it's not pretty.

        anonymous May 19, 2011 10:14pm

        Typical. Blame it on the big bad men. It couldn't possibly be women do bad things.

    anonymous May 24, 2011 10:37pm

    Good freaking Lord HMLewis. What the heck!?

    A wrong person is named – by WHOM!? A lottery? Lightning strike? Roulette wheel?

    No the person who named them is the person responsible for what happens to the man who is arrested, named in the paper, and locked up.

    "Gee, sorry, you kinda looked like him" isn't a defense.

    And, once AGAIN – were it YOUR life that was being torn apart to carelessly …. well golly, maybe you'd care. Seek help.

anonymous May 15, 2011 3:42pm

As a survivor of multiple false accusations of sexual harassment, I’ll say to the “feminists”: Welcome to the unintended consequences of your demands. By demanding more credence to the accusers, you’ve elevated the sociopaths in your ranks, at the expense of your own sons, your own flesh and blood. I hope you’re happy.

To those not yet falsely accused, I’ll offer this advice: Expose the career “victim” quickly. Don’t let yourself be put on the defensive. Instead, put the investigators themselves (the false accuser’s tools) on the defensive, and demand impartial evidence of wrong-doing, or else a total retraction of the accusation.

And to those women who have had to deal with real crimes, real attacks, real assaults: I’m sorry that your accounts are met with skepticism, but you have this article’s author and her ilk to thank.

    anonymous May 15, 2011 4:23pm

    Multiple false accusations by multiple women? Did this all happen at once, or over the course of years? If it is the latter, then I say that maybe you should watch what you say. You may not think you were being sexual or perverse, but your words deemed otherwise.

    As someone who has been sexually harassed on a regular basis since I was 11 years old (early bloomer). I can attest that what some people say in fun, or whisper behind others backs, is certainly hurtful, uncomfortable, and is sexual harassment. And, it's not just men that do it either. In fact, the only person I ever reported for sexual harassment was a woman in the work place. In my experience, men have usually kept their harassment of me in school or out on the town.

    If however, it all happened to you at once, then I can more readily see that it was some sort of gang-up on you for some "revenge" of some sort.

      anonymous May 15, 2011 6:42pm

      “Multiple accusations over multiple years” translates to multiple accusations in college, where three girls (I refuse to call them by any term denoting adulthood) decided, at separate times, that my public statements, in classrooms and in the student newspaper, were offensive to their pro-victim sensibilities.

      Oh, and don’t forget the female manager eight years later, who decided that my asking her what her wonderful perfume was, constituted sexual harassment. Another career victim, only this time, I told the company they needed to show clear cause for the accusation. They couldn’t, and their HR director told the two managers involved that they had to drop the matter.

      I refuse to play the game by their rules, when those rules are designed to make me a loser by default. You say my words “deemed otherwise”? No, YOU deemed my words otherwise, without even knowing what those words were. That makes you complicit in their false accusations against me, equally ready as they to presume me guilty.

      The end result of that thinking, is exactly what this article is all about.

      anonymous May 24, 2011 10:30pm

      Oh – gee, blame the victim huh?

      Since you were an early bloomer, by your logic, since you were harrassed by several people over several years, the common denomintor is YOU. Maybe you were showing too much skin and it was your fault?

      My comment is ludicrous isn't it? THAT is how ridiculous your comment was.

      The problem is that so many women in our society have been taught a one sided form of "being harrassed" that makes them "feel" harrassed.

        anonymous May 24, 2011 10:31pm

        And how ridiculous is that? God forbid all the catty degrading snotty snakry and demeaning comments women make to OTHER WOMEN were counted as harrassment : few women would survive in the workplace …. would they.

        Awful nice to sit in the "cat bird's" seat – nice safe and secure in the knowledge that those accusations will never be brought against you, huh?

        Imagine the situation, being reversed, that any outfit you wore that showed off your assets was considered sexual harassment, and it was completely subjective. Your career could be destroyed by any man (or spiteful or jealous woman) who decided they didn't like you for any reason – and even if proved false – you'd be out of a job, and nothing would happen to them.

        How'd that feel?

        Nice empathy you got going there HMLewis.

    anonymous May 16, 2011 8:38pm

    Wait a minute, gus3: actual victims accounts have always been met with skepticism–that's how the victim mentality was able to gain traction in the first place.

anonymous May 15, 2011 3:40pm

Ashely, I am with you. The massive hatred on both sides of the argument is overwhelming. I also agree with Waylon at the beginning of the article where he asks that we have compassion. I believe that means compassion towards all parties. I am a victim of child-hood sexual abuse, and have been studying psychology and mental disorders in school working towards my bachelor’s so that I can counsel. I think that compassion should be extended to the men who are so horribly impacted by being falsely accused and to the women who are dealing with massive mental disorders.
All these comments prove is that we are still separated (us against the world) which is a huge boost to our egos (by which I am referring to the yogic concept of the ego; the ego is all about survival and acts from fear, not compassion) When we react out of fear, there is no room for compassion. I believe the revolution of our society is not about fighting, or refusing to understand the other side of an argument, or reading/listening to comments with the express purpose of responding instead of understanding. The revolution of our society will come when we learn to love the unlovable and pardon the unpardonable.

    anonymous May 15, 2011 5:02pm

    Compassion huh? Well, instead of compassion why not try justice? You state that you think that compassion should be extended to men who are horribly impacted by this false accusation? Horribly impacted, try RUINED, I am not interested in the "compassion", I am interested in justice! When a person gets 'ruined" (and there are quite a few ways this happens) how do they seek redress? Are the supposed to "suck it up, and deal with it"?
    Here's a question, just what is supposed to be said to a person who is falsely accused, , and then new evidence shows this person was not guilty? What do you say, sorry, MY BAD? Really do you pay their legal bill, replace their good name, tell me what? And "us against the world", really? Then i guess YOU are the one that drew that line.
    For the people who have suffered rape/molestation/child abuse, I extend my sympathies, but, if you trash somebody wrongly, there should be a penalty for you. And the people who do this because they are mentally ill/disturbed/dazed and confused, they deserve no better than jail time if they falsely accuse someone. Harsh
    but, with an accusation like this, you had better be right.

anonymous May 15, 2011 3:14pm

Kimberly-

Here's the big lesson in all this – you and your type are losing this political battle, big time. And all the whining in the world will not change that.

Ellen-

I USED to believe that all those rapes were real. But I have seen so many false accusations successfully prosecuted, that I think that you are just a big dupe who listens to women craft their lies. You believe them out of an act of FAITH in your fellow women.

There are hundreds of innocent men in prison because some emotionally-challenged women decided that he "deserved" to be punished.

Feminists have institutionalized and made legitimate female lying.

    anonymous May 16, 2011 9:22pm

    Calling Kimberly a "type" doesn't help, either—I think the lesson from this article, if anything, is that each human being and case needs to be taken on its own terms, and not generalized, no? ~ Waylon

      anonymous May 16, 2011 9:41pm

      If there were consequences for those cases where an accusation is used to victimize, you may be right. Unfortunately, that isn't the case. If we can examine any number of cases, and only in the cases where a male is the violator, is justice served, then we must examine as a whole why the female victimizers walk away. That can't be done on a case by case basis until there is a system in place with which we can even do so.

anonymous May 15, 2011 3:06pm

NO Kimberly, we are NOT suggesting that women should not have a voice. You are being histrionic and combative.

We are suggesting that you are part of a political mechanism that basically assumes that men are all perps. Let's see your cred here – how long did it take you to acknowledge that the Duke rape case was a lie? Did you believe the lying stripper until the bitter end?

Should women who lie about rape be punished?

I know what you are thinking deep down, something like "sure a few innocent men may go to prison, but we gals have to stick together".

Well, use guys are going to take a page from that playbook and stick together as well. All you have accomplished is to solidify my suspicion of womens' intellectual honesty on this issue.

anonymous May 15, 2011 2:45pm

I'm appalled by the maliciousness of these comments. As a rape survivor I am nervous to post here at all for fear of your unmitigated hatred, even though I was the victim of that crime and not the perpetrator. It saddens me that there are false reports of rape. It also saddens me that a forum to discuss our response to sexual assault has become so aggressive and blaming.

I am disturbed if this is representative of the elephant community. I'm also disturbed that the moderator is only policing the feedback directed toward his friend.

    anonymous May 16, 2011 9:54am

    I too have been rape, which, unlike YOU, the idea of someone making a false accusation MAKES ME MAD!

    How can you say you have "survived" rape, then whine and complain about these responses to being falsely accused? Ad if THAT isn't a form of rape!

    Yes. Ashley. You ARE disturbed.

    anonymous May 16, 2011 9:21pm

    Ashley, can you explain your comment about the moderator only policing feedback from my friends? Who are my friends in this situation? I'm open to comments from either "side," it's not my job to police other people's opinions. I only moderate comments that don't manage to be respectful in their disagreement. I have deleted four comments here, more than a year's worth of other blogs…we're doing our best. Let me know if you see any other comments you think are rude, slanderous, unfair, vicious, and I'll look at them. ~ W.

    anonymous May 17, 2011 8:58pm

    Ah, the shaming language begins….

    anonymous May 17, 2011 10:54pm

    I am personally saddened by the fact that you were hurt as you were, and offer my sympathies.

    Given my prior comments that may sound incongruous (as I'll be the first to admit) but it isn't. At least not in my opinion. There are a lot of men that would rush to the defense of a victim such as yourself (I have done so).

    anonymous May 17, 2011 10:55pm

    This article in my view is more discussing false accusations, and a political and legal climate that have made this not only possible, but encouraged. This sort of legal environment detracts from you as much as it does men. The things I had to go through to help the victim I was assisting prove her case were truly unbelievable, and in the end the guy was convicted merely for assault due to eyewitness testimony.

    I really wonder if this would have been the case if it were not for the fact that it is becoming increasingly difficult to believe the allegations, due to abuse of the system. Due further to the encouraged abuse of the system.

    Is a system where physical evidence and eyewitness testimony are required (or else the perpetrator must be assumed innocent) perfect? Far from it, and many would go unpunished, but a system in which "guilty until proven innocent" is the rule of the day will generate this kind of backlash, and only harms actual victims. This is going to get worse, not better.

    I have an issue with any group that decides that their word is to be taken at face value sans evidence and vociferously, confrontationally, ensures that this is the case.

    anonymous May 17, 2011 10:55pm

    I have an issue with the author because in my opinion, she hasn't learned a thing. Yet. I say that because this… this is what it took for her to even begin questioning her belief system. I beleive she is in a position to present the argument and apologize, not instruct. She lost that right when it took this to partially wake her up. As would I lose that right under similar circumstances.

    My sincerest sympathies for your pain.

    anonymous May 20, 2011 6:51pm

    "It saddens me that there are false reports of rape."

    Well evidently, it doesn't "sadden" you nearly enough!

anonymous May 15, 2011 2:32pm

I am shocked by these comments, by Kimberly Johnson, why are you shocked? If you think that being falsely accused of rape is NOT a heinous crime, then, what?. I personally witnessed a terrible travesty of justice involving a woman who put her 2 daughters on the stand to accuse her ex-husband of YEARS of abuse (odd that nothing was ever reported), and he got dishonorably discharged from the military of 19 years lost a big piece of pension (that she would have half of) and damn near went to Leavenworth! Of course after it was all over, both daughters recanted and said their mother put them up to it (to which she admitted), and the mother served NO jail time! I bet that this man (who is now known as a sex offender by the state, and has spent a lot of time trying to get this erased from his record), really thinks it is great he has been put in the position of not being around his daughters for his protection due to false allegations. Yeah real funny.
For far too long the specter of false allegations concerning rape/abuse/molestation has been swept under the rug, and as a result many people are adopting a "prove it" attitude, and it does suck for the people who have been raped/abused/molested. However, why does the false allegations of these charges NOT result in prison time (like 5-10 years)?
To the author, I will say this, maybe it's time to become an advocate of jail time for ALL who are guilty of false allegations, not just women. So Kimberly, why is it so hard to understand many people are sick of being screwed around and lied about?

anonymous May 15, 2011 1:57pm

My son has been on Colorado’s sex offender registry for over 12 years – almost half his life – because of a false accusation.

It gets worse for him as time goes on, not better.

Time heals all wounds – except this one. A false rape accusation is the gift that keeps on giving – you can never escape the incessant punishment.

I have had to talk him down several times over the years from ending it all. The police harassment,trying to apply for jobs, neighbors acting like Ted Bundy has just moved in next door. Barred from seeing his son from threats of another false accusation.

I too, raised a good son. He is young, yet his life is essentially over. With all the new laws and sex offender hysteria mounting, it’s only a matter of time before he ends it, or someone ends it for him.

I tried telling people this was happening years ago, and was met with ugly derision and even threats.

If I knew then what I know now, I would have taken my son and fled this country – except this is getting to be a world wide epidemic.

God help the innocent. God help those falsely accused.

anonymous May 15, 2011 1:28pm

increasingly, i'm coming to believe that government is so supportive of feminism since it can be used as a convenient political tool that publicly can be rationalized to strip away our civil liberties, divide and conquer the sexes and families, create conditioners where even more people seek jobs, increase consumer spending and taxation, politically intimidate and financially oppress men, and vastly expand the size and power of government.

anonymous May 15, 2011 1:10pm

Ellen says: “dangerously uniformed generalizations and conclusions.”

Like the “all men are rapists” and “all sex is rape” that was so popular among the “feminists” not so long ago?

Yes, I know what rape does, because I have grown close to two different ladies who over the years have shared their stories. But too man “feminists” give a rats behind when a man is falsely accused.

False rape accusations, like rape, RUIN lives. The accuser’s name is withheld while the man’s is blasted. That, too, is wrong.

Both rape and false accusation of rape should have the same punishment, once proven!

anonymous May 15, 2011 12:38pm

I am deeply disturbed by this dialogue, the attack on progressive groups perceived to have contributed to this deep societal confusion and delusion around sexual assault, and the freedom people feel to bash and make dangerously uniformed generalizations and conclusions. I am shocked. In my actual experience of treating women (which for me is far more meaningful than poorly collected statistics) who have been assaulted sexually in their life, the overwhelming majority of the assaults go unreported or do not ever get prosecuted or resolved with justice in any way. The level of trauma is staggering due to this poorly recognized crime and the impact on it's survivors. As disturbing as this article is, and the comments, it does seem to be a reflection of what survivors of assault experience, and partly explains why this crime goes so unrecognized. What a devastatingly sad commentary on our society this dialogue is.

    anonymous May 16, 2011 6:57am

    So you are saying the women that lie about rape -somehow in your warped little female brain – help the women that DO NOT LIE ABOUT RAPE.

    Okkkkkkkkkkkkkay then……

anonymous May 15, 2011 11:42am

The "false Rape society" has a wealth of accumulated false rape accusations for those interested in studying them.

anonymous May 15, 2011 11:34am

Do feminists realize how many conservatives they’ve created?

While there are so many good reasons to reject the trainwreck that is collectivism, Feminism is the kick start for many well-intended, emasculated men, the kind who feel so comfortable in Boulder. Until Feminism pulls out their big gun & accuses the sap of rape or some other sex crime.

Fortunately I never had those big guns turned at me. I just grew weary of navigating the dangerous shoals in the giant gulf between what feminist women say they want & what they really want.

If Leftists could lie so big about something as basic as male female relationships, I wondered as a young Boulder SNAG (sensitive new age guy), what else might the Left be lying about?

Thus my journey away from the Left began.

anonymous May 15, 2011 10:52am

I am shocked at these comments. Some of them are so uninformed and hurtful, I am embarrassed for the Elephant community. And I am also shocked that there is no one who works at a rape crisis center, no researcher, no one at all that is going to speak about how this article speaks to and reinforces every stereotype and myth there is about rape itself.

This comment section has reinforced the exact environment that makes it so difficult to anyone who has been assaulted to come forward. I am the only person who has challenged the author (albeit not very articulately) and am racking up the negative signs. However the readers who suggest that the author is getting what she deserves because she believed women should have a voice and have control over our own bodies and because she was a "feminist" are racking up + signs.

Where is the compassion and discriminate wisdom? Yes, there are men who are falsely accused, yes there are ambiguities that become confused incidents. Yes there are mental ill and women with personality disorders who make false charges. Yes there are asinine incidents with 5 years olds kissing that become labeled sexual harassment.

But NO these are not the majority of reported rapes. The dynamic is not one where it is cushy and advantageous for a woman to make a claim.

    anonymous May 15, 2011 12:54pm

    Hmmmm.

    Isn't it? Mary Winkler shot her husband in the back with a shotgun, fled the state and yet she hardly spent any time in prison and even got a free house for it all.

    Yeah that's suffering that is.

    anonymous May 16, 2011 4:19pm

    "And I am also shocked that there is no one who works at a rape crisis center,"

    You mean, aside from the author herself? Or did you miss that part in your rush to condemn her son?

    "This comment section has reinforced the exact environment that makes it so difficult to anyone who has been assaulted to come forward."

    many women who have been assaulted AGREE with many of the comments on this board. You will find that those who have truly suffered sexual assault will deem false accusers amongst the worst humans out there, just above their own attackers. After all, it is those making false accusations that make it far more difficult to be believed, and not those who acknowledge false accusations exist. Your refusal to acknowledge false accusers, and your lack of sympathy for the victims of these accusers, who often suffer very similar emotional damage as rape victims themselves, not to mention the financial and career damage, shows you to be more interested in hurting the men then seeing justice done. If false accusations are recognized for what they are, and true false accusers are tried and convicted (using due process), that lends credibility to those who actually do come forward. But you oppose such an idea. You oppose protecting innocent men, and you oppose holding spiteful women to account. And that speaks a lot more about you then it does about the subject matter at hand.

anonymous May 15, 2011 10:42am

Haha-

I love the post where the one woman accuses the other of "clouded judgment".

The circle of female self-delusion is complete, and no truth can be known.

Truth is, very few men rape. The answer to this particular question is provided by all the female character witnesses.

Don't forget, most women want a guilty-until-proven-innocent standard for rape, since they want their word to be unimpeachable.

The real corrective measure will come from men, who are getting wise t o the lies of women. When we sit on juries, we will no longer believe the crying little woman just because we are "supposed to". The Duke false rape case opened many eyes.

The woman whose son is in trouble deserves every ounce of heartache she is experiencing, because she is getting her karma for all the other men who have been falsely accused.

All the self-righteous religious fury of the take-back-the-night marches, the very fashionable protests (women are about nothing if not about fashion) and all the political correct enforcement SHE HELPED CREATE are now destroying her son's life.

He does not deserve this injustice – but she is reaping what she sowed.

    anonymous Aug 4, 2013 10:39pm

    well said!! but David, I am very sure Feminists will never learn and this will get worse.

anonymous May 15, 2011 9:55am

It takes a particular kind of obtuseness to have done all the author describes and not anticipate the results. One has to think the reality is that she anticipated the result and didn't seem to think it a problem. Possibly thought it was a good idea. Until she had to pay the price.
Sorry about her son.

    anonymous May 16, 2011 4:02pm

    it can never happen to me is a belief far to many seem to believe. That said, remember that she herself was (allegedly) a victim. It is far too easy in such cases to NOT see the consequences to others, if the actions promise some kind of comfort to oneself. I hold no ill will towards the author. She understands her place in the problems her son is suffering. She is suffering alongside him, more so for her role in it. And she is (apparently) taking actions to rectify it (and presumably, not just for her son, but to atone, so that all men need not endure this).

anonymous May 15, 2011 9:45am

Some years ago before cell phones, a friend of mine, a military psychiatrist, pulled over on the way home from the base to help a stranded motorist. The young lady, whom he had never met before, accepted a ride of about two miles into our town and was dropped off at her apartment, after which my friend went home to his wife and kids. Two hours later, the police came to question him about his alleged sexual abuse of the young woman, who said he had tried to molest her. Because of the seriousness of the allegation, the police reported the situation to the military and my friend was forbidden from seeing any patients, even men, for over 18 months, until the system finally decided there was no evidence of any wrongdoing. By that time he was deeply in debt from lawyer bills. Even worse, he was subsequently passed over for promotion, as would anyone with such an unexplained gap in his work record. He was eventually transferred and then required to retire early.

Nothing was ever done to the young lady, despite the pain and suffering her allegation had caused my friend and his family. My friend, of course, learned a valuable lesson – any stranded motorist is strictly on her own.

    anonymous May 16, 2011 7:09am

    There is a problem with the women in this culture. part one

    Yes, I know, there are problems with men, too. Believe me, I have heard about them for the last forty years. Some of it true and fair, much of it neither. It was a necessary dialogue just the same. So is this.

    To understand this we need a brief look at history. Women, in the past, were denied voting rights, couldn’t own land and didn’t have much access to employment that would give them the freedom to make it on their own.

    This needed to change, and of course, did, as can be confirmed with a cursory glance at the world around you. I laud those changes. But the problem was in how we got here.

    The reality is that the gender roles of our history were traps for both men and women. Women were relegated to home and children; men to sacrificial roles as protectors and providers. It wasn’t a conspiracy. It was just a matter of survival, and for many thousands of years it worked quite well to that end.

    But once men made the environment safe enough for women to metaphorically "leave the cave," it was only natural and right that men change and allow that to happen.

    And ladies, we did.

    This is the simple but accurate truth of the matter. Men and women developed gender roles that facilitated the survival of the species. And once those roles were not necessary, they did begin the often complicated path to change.

    The problem here is that your knowledge of these historical events is largely shaped, convoluted rather, by feminism. Feminists taught you that your history with men was of unremitting evil; that you were chattel, slaves to men who held all power and shut you out with extreme intent. They even gave it a name.

    Patriarchy.

    It is a word that has become synonymous with oppression. But feminists were loathe to remind you that “Women and children first,” was the patriarchal mantra, and that much of the social norms, even when misguided, were a product of a code adopted for the sole purpose of preserving your life. It wasn't always fair, but the unfairness wasn't always yours. Men died by that code, and trained their sons to do the same.

    The fact that we still do is the subject for another essay.

    So what happened? As feminist distortions were increasingly embraced, and intertwined with the legitimate need for change, men did what they usually do. They reacted to the message and not the messenger and unblocked the entrance to that cave.

    Many of you spit on us on the way out. Many of you still do.

    It has to stop.

    This isn’t just about decency. And it is not just about the chasm of mistrust that separates us from each other, or the legions of the walking wounded from this godforsaken gender war. It is about our future. The vilification of men that you have accepted as appropriate now translates to catastrophe for our sons, for your sons.

    The problem is that what we say, think and feel about people invariably translates into what we actually do to them. Nowhere is this more evident than with our sons, in the here and now.

    If you take an honest look at the academic environment to which our boys are subjected, you will see that their masculinity itself is under attack with ideology that teaches them they are inherently flawed.

    Christina Hoff Sommers documented this in her highly recommended book "The War Against Boys." She writes, "The pedagogy is designed to valorize females, such as teaching history in a woman-centered way. Boys are to be inspired to revere Anita Hill and to “enjoy” quilting. At the same time, schools discourage activities that are natural and traditional to boys, such as playing ball together."

    She goes on to say, with sad accuracy, "Most parents have no idea what their children are facing in the gender-charged atmosphere of the public schools.”

anonymous May 15, 2011 9:11am

To the author, I hope you enjoy the new world you helped create.

    anonymous May 15, 2011 10:15am

    Does it make you feel superior to try to hold her personally responsible for this? The system is stacked against men and the feminists wanted it set up that way. However, I believe they started out with good intentions. She (the author) was a victim, so it is natural that she identified with other victims. She has learned this lesson in a very hard way and is trying to save all innocent men – not just her son.

      anonymous May 16, 2011 6:44pm

      It’s not like she and other Feminists were not warned. Feminists have been told time and time again that they were taking it too far. It was a conscious, deliberate decision on their part. They were not carried away by “good intentions.” They were carried away by their hatred of men.

      Feminists tell men all the time that their intentions don’t matter when it comes to being sensitive to Feminists – rather, that the effect of insensitivity is just as wrong as the intent. Why should “good” intentions save Feminists, when the effect they have created is gender apartheid?

      This Feminist may be better than the rest, and for this I may be kinder to her. But to Feminism in general? No way.

        anonymous Feb 13, 2015 1:15pm

        She is not kinder than the rest, she is merely reaping what she has sowed and so decides to back track in all her hate speech on this one subject-her own son. Any other man, same old hate speech still applies. Don't let her seemingly logical approach from this personal experience to other people's experiences fool you-she only threw that in to press the issue about her own son being innocent. As soon as this has past, it's game on again until all men are incarcerated from sex crimes they didn't commit.

      anonymous May 17, 2011 9:24pm

      He doesn't have to FEEL superior. He simply IS superior.

      Bob, raise your hand if you personally helped ram a system into law that has been responsible for the destruction of so many lives.

      Didn't think so.

anonymous May 15, 2011 9:09am

The whole problem begins with treating individuals as being part of a group. Our society was on the way to getting over this when some folks realized that there was a political benefit to be had from delaying this phenomenon a bit and began ascribing victim status to certain groups. Then the whole political-correctness thing happened, and here we are, no better off than we were in the fifties. Only white men are the group it is OK to oppress now. One other point: sanity is a completely individualized state. It takes quite a bit of investment of time to determine whether or not someone is sane. In our society we are always in a hurry. If we simply take more time before getting intimate–say two or three years, we are more likely to find out. People can't cover up their true selves that long.

    anonymous May 16, 2011 10:28am

    "If we simply take more time before getting intimate–say two or three years, we are more likely to find out. People can't cover up their true selves that long."

    Anyone who wants to wait 2 or 3 years is already revealing their true self – sexually dysfunctional.

      anonymous Jul 18, 2013 12:06pm

      Or maybe they are showing themselves to be more than just another animal.

anonymous May 15, 2011 7:37am

Over 3,500 years ago, the Bible (Genesis chapter 39) records that Jacob's youngest son Joseph, sold into slavery by his brothers, was taken to Egypt where he was sold to Potiphar as a household slave. Potiphar, recognizing Joseph as a great, God-fearing man, made him the head of his household. Potiphar's wife was furious at Joseph for resisting her relentless attempts to seduce him into sleeping with her, and accused him falsely of rape. Potiphar cast Joseph into prison for years.

Fortunately, what (wo)man meant for evil, God was able to use for good in the long run. I pray that God does the same for your son, as I always hope he will do for mine.

anonymous May 15, 2011 7:04am

Years ago, I was dating a woman. I had known her for about a year and we had been going together for several weeks. One day, after work, I stopped by her apartment. We were making out when she suddenly called her sister and began describing what we were doing. I found that odd and told her I had to leave to get home because I would be on call for work (true). As I moved towards the door, she continued to rub herself against me and we began passionately making out until I noticed she had gone still. I asked her what was wrong and she told me in a cold voice that it was time for me to go. I sat in my car wondering what had just happened. So I went back and knocked on her door. She opened the door wearing grey sweats with her arms folded tightly around herself. When I asked her what just happened, she replied that the last guy who treated her like that she had put in prison. I quickly left and avoided her after that. Looking back, I think she may have had mental health issues, but I don't know. I'm just glad I got out of that relationship as easily as I did.

anonymous May 15, 2011 5:42am

In my experience, the vast majority of women are perfectly capable of believing anything that will allow them to manipulate people.

anonymous May 15, 2011 4:00am

I’ve adopted two practices for years that have stood me in good stead.

1. If there is no evidence of actual physical force, there is no rape or molestation. Period.

2. I am never alone with any woman unless I have video and audio equipment I control running. Period. She may not know about it, but it WILL be there.

Until guys start adopting those two rules 100%, they will continue to be vulnerable.

    anonymous May 15, 2011 9:32am

    Just be careful with number 2. The wiretapping in some states require that both parties must be aware that recording is taking place.

    anonymous May 16, 2011 6:46am

    "I have video and audio equipment I control running. "

    Most US states allow recording equipment in your home. Most US states do NOT allow recording equipment outside of your home, unless you have consent of all parties.

    I have a recording of a woman that I dated 13 years ago, calmly stating that if I ever left her, she would accuse me of domestic violence and rape. Later, I recorded her holding the phone, threatening to call police, and hitting herself on the lips with the phone receiver hard enough to draw blood. All the time she is saying, "do you think anyone will believe you NOW?"

    She called the police, falsely accused me, and my illegal recording saved my behind (I paid the rent, but the apartment was leased in her name).

      anonymous May 16, 2011 8:05am

      All the time she is saying, "do you think anyone will believe you NOW?"

      2011 version….well honey there are thousands of viewers watching us on YouTube right now.

    anonymous May 22, 2011 11:41am

    anyone remember the day when you didn't need video and audio recording equipment present to be alone with a woman? remember when women were trustworthy enough to spend time alone with?

anonymous May 15, 2011 3:46am

Very sad about your son. Few accusations leave such a stain as "rapist." It is like being called a racist or a sexist in that there is really no defense. People's perceptions will always be tainted.
When any crime is politicized, justice goes by the wayside. While we do have a problem with sexual violence-and we always will- the solution has done nothing to remedy the problem, it has just created a new group of victims.
We have tried to solve the problem by setting aside our traditional reservations about assuming guilt. That just made rape allegations a tool for the wicked.
We have tried to solve it by redefining rape. We so blurred the line that regret can retroactively create rape. That just generated statistics that reinforce the idea that every man (your son very much included) is a rapist. Take a look behind that stat about the epidemic of rape on college campuses: "Of the college women who are raped, only 25% describe it as rape." Who are these Solons who are wise enough to know more about a sexual encounter than the participants?
I hope that your son is telling the truth, and that his nightmare ends soon.
I hope the girl gets her head straight so she doesn't thrash her way through life destroying everyone who strays into her orbit with the emanations of her psychosis.

anonymous May 15, 2011 1:35am

Tell us, how would you have reacted to a report of an attempted rape where the male's former girlfriends stayed friends with him? That his mother said he deep spiritual practice, and was strong and honorable. I would guess that you would have believed the "victim". Why should we believe you now? Why is your son different than every other male out there who you have told us year after year, at take back the night, is a potential rapist?

You say "a good man is being harmed". Let me tell you that many good men have been harmed for decades. Why is your son differnt? You helped make this problem, you son is paying for it.

    anonymous May 15, 2011 8:00am

    Again, we can criticize without being destructive—let's keep this kind, please. ~ W.

      anonymous May 17, 2011 6:32pm

      Again, why?

      Let's be kind to Bernie Madoff and Ben Bernake while we're at it.

anonymous May 15, 2011 12:02am

While I can appreciate the perspective of a distraught mother, in what appears to be an unfair situation, I cannot appreciate the need to then call the majority of women liars

According to the FBI DNA stats it is only 25% of women who make the other 75% look bad. So I guess that women are off the hook. Mostly. Except for a few bad apples.

“During my time as a prosecutor who made case filing decisions, I was amazed to see all the false rape allegations that were made to the Denver Police Department. It was remarkable and surprising to me. You would have to see it to believe it. Any honest veteran sex assault investigator will tell you that rape is one of the most falsely reported crimes that there is. A command officer in the Denver police sex assaults unit recently told me he placed the false rape numbers at approximately 45 percent.”

Well that is a bit worse. But still not over half.

    anonymous May 15, 2011 6:08am

    The majority of women are not being called liars, merely the majority who accuse men of rape. Since most women never make such an accusation, their reputation is not being blemished.

    anonymous May 16, 2011 7:55am

    You going to post a link or five?

    "only 25% of women " That's one in four you low IQ meat head!!

      anonymous May 19, 2011 8:13pm

      Evidently you are a VICTIM of unannounced sarcasm. My condolences.

      As to a link? They are in the article. The FBI reports. The Colorado prosecutor etc. Evidently you are also a VICTIM of poor reading comprehension. My condolences.

      Funny thing is that I used all those links and references when arguing the Duke Lacrosse case. The person writing the article is way late to the show.

anonymous May 14, 2011 11:55pm

A progressive is someone who lives inside their head, in the fantasy world of theories and narratives. A progressive is someone who has not yet been mugged by reality. Unfortunately, when that inevitably occurs, it is far too late to undo the damage they have already perpetrated on society.

    anonymous May 15, 2011 6:06am

    I sometimes wonder if they even qualify as sentient life. I think that they are the direct result of man's escape from the forces of natural selection. Psychologically defective human beings are no longer culled from the gene pool.

anonymous May 14, 2011 11:54pm

actually the statistics say that the vast majority of sex crimes are NOT even reported

Really? What “statistics” exist on crimes which were “not even reported”? Where can one access these “statistics” and how were they compiled?

    anonymous May 15, 2011 5:51am

    Via surveys which are also subject to lying. If 60% of actual rape accusations are false, imagine how much higher the rate of lying when all you have to do is fill out a survey form with no examination of the credibility of the claim.

      anonymous May 16, 2011 2:47pm

      Not to mention the varied definition of rape on those surveys, some of which would include inappropriate catcalling amongst the examples of sexual assault.

anonymous May 14, 2011 11:31pm

Ironic, isn't it? As a feminist, rape crisis worker and abuse alumni, you helped usher in the very mode of thinking that now threatens your son. I'm sure it seemed all correct and proper, right up until the moment that one of yours took the hit.

    anonymous May 15, 2011 7:57am

    Great observation, but let's keep these comments kind, rather than biting. There's enough pain going on. ~ W.

      anonymous May 15, 2011 9:51am

      Oh come on. How "kind" has our society been to countless boys and men over the years who run afoul of an evil woman?

      The anger is justified.

      anonymous May 17, 2011 6:11pm

      The author actively promoted an ideology that directly led to countless innocent men's imprisonment, including her own son… and you don't think she deserves to feel some pain?

      Just her son, eh?

      White Knighting for the win.

        anonymous Apr 19, 2013 9:28pm

        I think it's pretty clear that she is already in pain not only that her pain has lifted the fog from her eyes and she sees the danger of feminism.
        So insult her if you want but it will accomplish nothing at this point.

      anonymous May 20, 2011 7:27am

      This "pain", depending on the case, is either deserved or undeserved. So I would seek to redistribute the pain to those who deserve it, and away from those who don't. To reference Catherine Comins, certain people may "possibly benefit" from this pain.

anonymous May 14, 2011 11:09pm

A woman's capacity for falsehood is exceeded only by her capacity for self-delusion. If a woman is convinced that someone "tried to rape her" no power on Earth will ever convince her otherwise. All men know that women lie, and do so far more easily and convincingly than any man; what most men don't realize is the extent to which women believe their own lies.

anonymous May 14, 2011 10:47pm

It’s about time that reasonable people come to the understanding that feminism has become yet another corrupt ideology. What once started as good and just has transmogrified into an ugly beast.

That is the pattern followed by all the old “equality” movements, as their liberal philosophic base was co-opted and inverted from underneath them by its enemy, the Left.

What started as an effort to secure individual rights now finds itself transformed into a movement dedicated to destroying them. What once sought to bring together, now seeks to segregate. What once sought to highlight the relative unimportance of gender and skin color, now stresses them.

Where once there was Susan B. Anthony, there is now Carol Gilligan; where once there was Martin Luther King, there is now Al Sharpton.

It is important to grasp that this “transmogrification” didn’t just happen, like the weather; it was a deliberate act.

    anonymous May 16, 2011 4:29pm

    I totally agree with your general comment (so upvoted) but I disagree with you saying that the enemy is "the left." The same thing happens to ALL organizations and movement, including those on the right.

anonymous May 14, 2011 10:42pm

The Duke Lacrosse men's team was falsely accused of rape. This article is no surprise, but the author — and especially her son — have my sympathy.

    anonymous May 15, 2011 9:26am

    My sympathy begins and ends with the son.

      anonymous May 16, 2011 12:03pm

      I concur.
      The mother helped creating the system that is now engulfing the son.
      -How's that for maternal love?

anonymous May 14, 2011 10:42pm

If the son of the author is indeed innocent, I am very sorry.

That said, I think the author's pain in experiencing this has severely affected her judgment. The message alone, that WOMEN DO lie, reminds me of "Jackie Onassis poops." Of course, women lie sometimes. But 60% of the time? I would like to see that statistic measured up against the number of sexual assaults that go unreported. While there may be a percentage of women who have mental illness, or personality disorders, (the cases she is citing,) who make false accusations- actually the statistics say that the vast majority of sex crimes are NOT even reported. These sources cited are not reliable sources. Fox News?

"Some women even harbor rape fantasies. Falsely accusing a man of rape can be deeply satisfying because it is sexual and even romantic." This statement is harmful and offensive.

Waylon, I know that you ask for respect in this conversation, but I am not sure that your friend's mother deserves more respect and kid-gloved handling than sexual assault victims/survivors who read this and are deeply confused at so many misunderstandings and the perpetuation of so many false stereotypes. Accusing a man of rape is "romantic." Surely she has never sat in a room and been grilled hour after hour over minute details so that she can be proven an incompetent witness. Surely she has never sat in a hospital waiting room in glaring neon lights waiting to be swabbed and probed while in shock after already having experienced trauma.

While I can appreciate the perspective of a distraught mother, in what appears to be an unfair situation, I cannot appreciate the need to then call the majority of women liars nor the blaming of feminism for a large oversight for the difficult position of the falsely accused man.

    anonymous May 15, 2011 1:01am

    "Some women even harbor rape fantasies. Falsely accusing a man of rape can be deeply satisfying because it is sexual and even romantic." This statement is harmful and offensive.

    Kimberly, so is a false accusation of rape. Given the flexibility of definitions — consider, for example, that some studies used for high statistics of "sexual assault" have such broad definitions of sexual assault as to include a stolen kiss, or a mutual hookup after too much to drink — it's hard to see how any statistic can be taken at face value.

    On the other hand, after the Duke Lacrosse case, and the number of studies in which DNA evidence eventually exonerated a black man convicted of raping a white woman, it's clear that there is a significant problem of false accusations.

    anonymous May 15, 2011 6:00am

    Another area you have made a mistake is in assuming that statistics on unreported sex crimes are not as if not more susceptible to distortion by lying than reported crimes. There are many factors that make lying on surveys or to ones psychiatrist as if not more likely.

    The only statistics I would trust on the percent of unreported rapes would be the number of actual sexual assault victims examined by hospitals vs those that then followed up by the police.

    We have no means of assessing the likelihood of lying for unreported rapes. Is it lower or higher? Unknown. You can't just assume that surveys on unreported rapes is going to have a rate lower than 60%, and it would have to be in order to lower the overall statistic on women lying about rape in general.

    anonymous May 15, 2011 12:01pm

    'Of course, women lie sometimes. But 60% of the time? I would like to see that statistic measured up against the number of sexual assaults that go unreported'.

    unreported rapes are not the discussion here. your comment is sidetracking this issue that women do lie about rape. 50-60%+ is a minimum that are routinely proven false as in lies with facts and/or the female later admitting she lied. a number beyond that simply are not provable false (or true).

      anonymous May 16, 2011 5:55am

      Off the topic of rape and accusations but OT with lying – How about the lie "it's your baby"? Let's paternity test every child and see just how truthful women can be 🙂

      anonymous May 16, 2011 6:37am

      Feminist cries for protection have resulted in laws making paternity testing illegal in many parts of the world. For example, New York state prohibits paternity testing, as does all of Britain.

        anonymous May 16, 2011 3:51pm

        Say what? Paternity testing is NOT banned in Britain. I had a paternity test 6 months ago to prove I was the father of my daughter, so I could fight for custody from her drug addicted, alcoholic mother (I won!).

          anonymous May 21, 2011 10:39pm

          Congratulations! Every child is our future, you honor hope with your actions.

        anonymous May 16, 2011 4:25pm

        That New York claim is BS as well. Here's a google search showing a gazillion places in NY that do paternity tests.
        http://www.google.com/search?q=%22paternity%20tes

        anonymous Apr 19, 2013 5:31am

        It isn't banned in NY either. I live here.

    anonymous May 16, 2011 7:51am

    By Paul Elam

    Tomorrow, Monday, May 16th, from 11:00 a.m. to -12:00 noon, PDT, Steve Berkimer of the False Rape Society will be on Newstalk 1380 broadcasting from Southern California discussing false rape/sexual assault claims, with Andrew Pari, on his "Chasing the why" show. The show can be listened to live at http://tunein.com/radio/KOSS-1380-s26278/.

    A copy of the broadcast will be posted to FRS shortly afterward, which I will also steal and post in the sidebar here (if they let me).

    Way to go FRS! This movement is moving because of men like Steve and Pierce!

    anonymous May 16, 2011 3:23pm

    "While I can appreciate the perspective of a distraught mother, in what appears to be an unfair situation, I cannot appreciate the need to then call the majority of women liars nor the blaming of feminism for a large oversight for the difficult position of the falsely accused man. "

    And yet, you are part of a system that routinely calls all men potential rapists, abusers and pedophiles, And don't seem to have an issue with that.

    "Accusing a man of rape is "romantic." Surely she has never sat in a room and been grilled hour after hour over minute details "

    You confuse the consequences of the accusation with the accusation itself. There are some false accusers who never even consider the harm they will cause, claiming to have never wanted to hurt the man. I've heard one story of a man who was charged with rape because he slept with a military officer, and she ended up sleeping in and being late, so she cried rape (of all things) in order to avoid the consequences of being tardy. She claimed to have "not known it would go that far", and that "it quickly spun out of control, and she was too scared to reveal the truth".

      anonymous Apr 19, 2013 5:34am

      To some women….yes. All that attention is intoxicating. Just like the parents and caregivers who have Munchhausen syndrome. Some people will go to great lengths to get attention. They are like a child or a dog who will take negative attention over no attention.

      Most women would never do that. Most men would never rape, either.

    anonymous May 19, 2011 8:03pm

    A "true believer" in the cult of feministas, eh?
    Freedom Riders, defending a ravaged land from corrupt carpetbaggers, became The Klan. Students for a Democratic Society became the cop-killing, bank robbing terroists of the SDS-WeatherMEN. Jim Jones ministry to societal outcasts became Jonestown massacre.
    Slavish, blind devotion to an ideology that allows such a foolish response to clear-cut facts and evidence only serves to prove the point this poor, now-undeluded, woman is making.

      anonymous Aug 21, 2014 3:38pm

      SDS didn't become the Weathermen, they were a faction of SDS that did what they did. Are you always going to be blaming the left for everything?

    anonymous May 20, 2011 7:15am

    Yes, women do indeed lie "sometimes" — in fact, quite a lot. But the myth that women DON'T lie is what empowers the feminist false rape industry. THAT is the point at issue here, and that is the point you wish to obfuscate by tossing red herrings into the discussion.

    The blame for the present crisis settles squarely onto the shoulders of feminism. Feminists have created the situation, and feminists continue to duck responsibility for it, or to make excuses for it, or to trivialize it in one way or another. More and more people are aware of such feminist behavior and are speaking their minds accordingly. It shall not be possible to stem the rising tide.

    One more thing: we all know that X number of rapes go unreported. Yet it serves no purpose, other than emotional manipulation, to repeat this over and over. Certainly, it has NO BEARING WHATSOEVER upon the adjudication of evidence during a rape trial. Either the defendant can be proven guilty to a clear and convincing standard of evidence in a given case, or he can't — and spotlighting the issue of unreported rape in that context is utterly irrelevant.

    anonymous Apr 21, 2013 7:48am

    Very well put! The author of this piece is allowing her own personal experience to distort her judgement, albeit very understandably. She is probably in denial, which is horribly sad for her, but accounts for her rash claims. What a horrible situation she must be in having a rapist for a son. Thank God for daughters!

    anonymous Aug 6, 2013 1:20pm

    Difficult position of the falsely accused man? Like how his entire life goes down the drain? His neighbors shun him, he loses his job, he loses his family, he ends up out on the street, alone? That kind of difficult position?

    I've seen it first hand. My gym teacher back in highschool was falsely accused of molesting a young girl. Evidence eventually proved otherwise, but by then, the damage was already done. He was already dead, a homeless, divorced man trying to beg or work enough to feed himself and was shot over a sandwich BECAUSE A YOUNG GIRL DIDN'T WANT TO PARTICIPATE IN CLASS!

    If we're going to spend so much time and energy protecting victims of rape (and we should) we need to protect the victims of false accusations as well.

anonymous May 14, 2011 10:23pm

It’s about time that reasonable people come to the understanding that feminism has become yet another corrupt ideology. What once started as good and just has transmogrified into an ugly beast.

Who better to reform that beast than those who breathed life into it?

Every ideology needs a reformation to return to usefulness, and if there is any intellectual or moral honor among women, then they will begin the reformation of feminism post haste before more craziness can be done.

Let the scales fall from their eyes, that they may see……….

    anonymous May 15, 2011 9:44am

    Feminism was never "good." Read "The Flipside of Feminism" by Venker & Schlafly.

    It was a scheme cooked up by mentally ill women and open Marxists in the '50s and '60s. It was created for the purpose of destabilizing our society, growing government , and empowering collectivists.

    anonymous May 16, 2011 7:50am

    By Paul Elam

    Tomorrow, Monday, May 16th, from 11:00 a.m. to -12:00 noon, PDT, Steve Berkimer of the False Rape Society will be on Newstalk 1380 broadcasting from Southern California discussing false rape/sexual assault claims, with Andrew Pari, on his "Chasing the why" show. The show can be listened to live at http://tunein.com/radio/KOSS-1380-s26278/.

    A copy of the broadcast will be posted to FRS shortly afterward, which I will also steal and post in the sidebar here (if they let me).

    Way to go FRS! This movement is moving because of men like Steve and Pierce!

    anonymous May 17, 2011 6:00pm

    Correct. This was never a "good ideology" of any kind. It was based in supremacism, not egalatarianism. You might as well say that Nazism was a "good ideology" because at its core, it was aimed at ending the economic impossibility of the Weimar Republic post Versailles treaty.

    Was there a problem in the Weimar Republic? Sure. Was radical militant supremacism the answer? You tell me.

    Asking old school Feminists to fix the problem is like throwing more gasoline on the fire (or to use a more modern analogy, like throwing a couple billion more at Wall Street bankers). If they want it fixed, they can publicily repudiate as an ideology, they can stop lobbying as a special interest group (see VAWA), and they can issue an apology publicly and then shut up and go away.

      anonymous Aug 21, 2014 3:30pm

      Was there a problem in the Weimar Republic?

      Aside from the economic problems cause by the Versailles treaty and the Great Depression, not really that much, unless you mean all of the bullshit that Hitler & Co. believed (including the bullshit Dolchstoßlegende meme and the other nonsense spewed by the German right-wing used as justification for Hitler & Co. doing what they did to Germany later, and what right-wing Tea Party American are using now to justify what they want to see happen to the USA.) Please don't use this sad and unfortunate incident to further your agenda.

anonymous May 10, 2011 2:46pm

What a powerful, informative piece. Thanks for the eye-opener, and best of luck to you and your family.

    anonymous May 16, 2011 7:50am

    By Paul Elam

    Tomorrow, Monday, May 16th, from 11:00 a.m. to -12:00 noon, PDT, Steve Berkimer of the False Rape Society will be on Newstalk 1380 broadcasting from Southern California discussing false rape/sexual assault claims, with Andrew Pari, on his "Chasing the why" show. The show can be listened to live at http://tunein.com/radio/KOSS-1380-s26278/.

    A copy of the broadcast will be posted to FRS shortly afterward, which I will also steal and post in the sidebar here (if they let me).

    Way to go FRS! This movement is moving because of men like Steve and Pierce!

anonymous May 9, 2011 7:01pm

You make a great case, and of course, as a reader, I am not be in a position to "know" whether he did anything or not. I can say that I have worked with borderline clients who would accuse anyone of anything if they thought it would get them what they wanted.

I was struck by you comment: "If anyone can accuse a good man of something like this and cause him so much grief, then what has our system become?" But, of course what look like "good men" DO rape women and children. Men who "look good" can be the classic pedophile, for example. The truth is that anyone can and should be able to make an allegation, and one hopes that the justice system will be unbiased in hearing and ruling on these cases such that only a small number of cases will be heard and/or ruled on in error. Your article raises serious questions about whether that is what is actually happening, or whether the "women-as-victims" has swayed the judicial and political system. Thank you for that.

I am deeply sorry to hear about what you and your son are going through, with the assumption that what you see and say here is correct. Simply defending oneself is an enormous financial and emotional catastrophe, as I well know from my own life experience.

    anonymous May 20, 2011 7:51pm

    "The truth is that anyone can and should be able to make an allegation, and one hopes that the justice system will be unbiased in hearing and ruling on these cases such that only a small number of cases will be heard and/or ruled on in error. "

    NO…A SMALL NUMBER OF LIVES RUINED BY FALSE ALLEGATIONS IS TOO MANY! THIS WAS THE BEGINNING OF THE SLIPPERY SLOPE THAT GOT US TO THIS POINT IN THE FIRST PLACE.

    anonymous Aug 6, 2013 1:14pm

    "But, of course what look like "good men" DO rape women and children. Men who "look good" can be the classic pedophile, for example."

    "The truth is that anyone can and should be able to make an allegation, and one hopes that the justice system will be unbiased in hearing and ruling on these cases such that only a small number of cases will be heard and/or ruled on in error."

    Are you kidding me? So because someone who looks like an average, everyday man COULD be a rapist, it's completely ok to accuse him of rape, completely destroy his reputation, his family, his relationships, his entire life, even though you admit that you work with "borderline clients who would accuse anyone of anything if they thought it would get them what they wanted" just in case he actually is a rapist? What ever happened to justice in this country?

anonymous May 9, 2011 5:07pm

That's horrible! I have a 10year old son and your story–along with others I've heard from moms with boys in high school–prepares me for what's to come. I wish you and your son the best.

    anonymous May 16, 2011 7:49am

    By Paul Elam

    Tomorrow, Monday, May 16th, from 11:00 a.m. to -12:00 noon, PDT, Steve Berkimer of the False Rape Society will be on Newstalk 1380 broadcasting from Southern California discussing false rape/sexual assault claims, with Andrew Pari, on his "Chasing the why" show. The show can be listened to live at http://tunein.com/radio/KOSS-1380-s26278/.

    A copy of the broadcast will be posted to FRS shortly afterward, which I will also steal and post in the sidebar here (if they let me).

    Way to go FRS! This movement is moving because of men like Steve and Pierce!

anonymous May 9, 2011 4:25pm

#
Chris Tashi by only revealing what they want you to know, technically…they are not lying

#
elephantjournal.com Chris, did you read the lady's article before commenting? I can't tell, my bad. ~ W.

#
Lolly Galvin I know a similar duration. Women do lie

#
Jennifer Imme I read the article. Very informative & shocking to me, but I will always respect the truth, no matter how incriminating or sad it may be. Great article.

#
Cindy Wells Yaple That is so sad…..

#
Chris Tashi regarding the truth, discrimination is always the best policy

#
J.J. Arrant The fact is only rich men are in power, the rest of us live as second class citizens. We are told we are in power, while women own the mantle of victim, prohibiting us from having any chance to change the places we lack power. I really liked the author's writing but couldn't help thinking a man writing an article about going through this situation wouldn't get published.

    anonymous Jan 28, 2014 6:55pm

    > Chris Tashi by only revealing what they want you to know, technically…they are not lying

    Sure they are. It's called a lie by omission. The intent is deceit, the method is immaterial.

anonymous May 9, 2011 2:57pm

Something similar happened to my cousin- one of the most gentle, respectful people I know. He's a history teacher who was babysitting a study hall. A girl was standing next to him while he was seated, and began talking on her cell phone. He tapped her knee to get her attention silently and asked her to put the phone away, as per school policy. And this girl, despite the room full of watching students (none of whom backed her up), accused him of groping her butt and making a lewd comment. It turned out the girl had made similarly hysterical accusations before and was known as a drama queen and an instigator. She called her mother, someone with influence on the school board, who then came down to the school and grabbed my cousin by the shirt to scream at him in front of other kids. One child pulled out his cell phone and filmed the incident, only to have his phone confiscated by the principal and the video file erased.

My cousin was lucky- the judge was sensible enough to look at the sheer improbability of the accusation (really? A teacher groping a girl in front of a classroom of about 30 watching kids?), the wildly fluctuating, changeable story, and the previous behavior of both accuser and accused, and dismissed the case. He was able to keep his job. But for a while there, he thought he was going to lose it, and that his new wife's ex husband would be able to use the case as fodder in their ongoing custody battle over their young daughter. His life was almost ruined because one girl decided to make a teacher pay for telling her to put her cell phone away.

I do hate the blame the victim mentality that causes people to ask what a rape victim was wearing, or how she was behaving. Rape and sexual assault are never okay. But lying about rape and assault? That is also heinous behavior. It ruins lives, and it belittles true victims.

    anonymous May 16, 2011 7:48am

    By Paul Elam

    Tomorrow, Monday, May 16th, from 11:00 a.m. to -12:00 noon, PDT, Steve Berkimer of the False Rape Society will be on Newstalk 1380 broadcasting from Southern California discussing false rape/sexual assault claims, with Andrew Pari, on his "Chasing the why" show. The show can be listened to live at http://tunein.com/radio/KOSS-1380-s26278/.

    A copy of the broadcast will be posted to FRS shortly afterward, which I will also steal and post in the sidebar here (if they let me).

    Way to go FRS! This movement is moving because of men like Steve and Pierce!

    anonymous Apr 28, 2013 12:50am

    SINCE YOU WERE WRONG, AND YOUR FEMINIST IDEOLOGY HAS BEEN THE CREATION OF THIS CONTINUED ATTACK ON INNOCENT MEN BY DYSFUNCTIONAL WOMEN THAT HAVE NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR ACTIONS: WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT? WILL YOU SUPPORT EQUALITY FOR MEN? WILL YOU SUPPORT THE CHANGE FROM POLITICALLY CORRECT INSANITY TO A BALANCED UNDERSTANDING THAT WOMEN DO LIE AND THEY DO PREFER TO PUT AN INNOCENT PERSON IN JAIL JUST TO GET EVEN. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT? PROBABLY NOTHING…

    anonymous Jun 10, 2015 5:27am

    "I do hate the blame the victim mentality that causes people to ask what a rape victim was wearing, or how she was behaving."

    Was that ever really a victim-blaming mentality, or was it just prudent people asking questions about the character and circumstances of both the accuser and the accused? Perhaps "victim-blaming" was never more than a feminist narrative created to stifle the free speech of feminist dissenters and bolster the case for rape shield laws (which are precisely the cause of the problem that we now face).

anonymous May 15, 2011 5:49am

Plus individual women can make multiple charges.

Also a woman can believe she was raped when she wasn't, for example getting drunk with a man, consenting (to a drunk man), and having sex, then assuming that was a rape because she was not able to "give consent" when inebriated. Guess what, neither could the man. Of course, this PC thinking never was about thoughtful reasoning.

anonymous May 15, 2011 5:57am

I appreciate what you have written, but you've made a mistake in claiming that your statement was not offensive.

Anything can be “offensive” to anyone at any time and for any reason, including no reason at all. It is an argument that has absolutely no rigor attached to it. One that can be made without anything to substantiate it. This is why it is a favorite the left. Anyone can claim to be “offended” when presented with facts they cannot refute. Leftists love to shift the rules of evidence from the real to the subjective when they have a losing argument (and they cannot lie outright). Claiming to be "offended" is merely the easiest way for them to do so. Another favorite is to accuse the person of "racism" or something else equally vague and unprovable. They are deceitful by nature and have many ready lies at their command.

When you claim that your statement was not offensive, you fall for the con, even as you attempt to argue against it. There is no objective standard by which something can be called offensive, and even if there were it is irrelevant. A statement must be judged by its factual merits, not by the subjective emotional response it elicits from someone (or which they pretend it elicits in order to manipulate you into being silent).

anonymous May 15, 2011 7:58am

Agree with you up until the last line. There was a lot of courage and deeply considered thought that went into what you (and I) love to casually, derisively call "PC thinking." It's just a matter of balance, no? ~ W.

anonymous May 15, 2011 9:30am

Elephantjournal, I call shenanigans. There was no courage and no deeply considered thought that went into it. There were only shrieking feminist harpies doing what they do best and gutless politicians and law enforcement types proving their cowardice.

anonymous May 20, 2011 8:23am

"There was a lot of courage and deeply considered thought that went into what you (and I) love to casually, derisively call "PC thinking.""

Deeply considered thought? Sure – they deeply considered how best to get their way in as many things as possible, preferably screwing their enemies as much as possible in the process. That's what the vast majority of it is.

anonymous May 15, 2011 9:39am

Exactly. No woman gives a s**t about the countless boys and men who get cut to ribbons by our man-hating society, until it affects them personally.

Thankfully, men are waking up and women had better hope we treat them better than they've treated us the last 40 years.

anonymous May 15, 2011 11:56am

so true

anonymous May 15, 2011 4:12pm

The vast majority of women never make false claims, so this silver bullet you speak of is rather ridiculous.

anonymous May 15, 2011 4:41pm

I hate to say this, but, the question that comes to my mind, is that now, that the original author has had this land on her doorstep, will she show the same tireless dedication to punish those that falsely accuse (specifically to done maliciously)? Or will she just "go back to sleep" once this problem is resolved?(if it ever is)
My other question is, if this had not landed on her doorstep (via her son's "friend"), would she have even bothered to realize there was a problem?
.

anonymous May 16, 2011 8:40pm

For Christ's sake, JustMe, at least have the decency to read the article first!

anonymous May 17, 2011 11:31pm

Precisely my problem with her.

anonymous May 15, 2011 6:21pm

meintoo wrote of the feminist's silver bullet nether stating anything about the majority. the comment of yours is ridiculous.

anonymous May 16, 2011 10:46am

Legitimate criticism is not "hatred of women."

No one cares what you've got between your legs.

anonymous May 19, 2011 12:47am

Laura, we are talking about people who have been falsely accused of rape- not rapists. We are talking about people who have falsely accused others of rape- not rape victims.

It's people like you who make it hard for victims to come forward. You are the ones who make it easy for false accusations to happen, thus making it harder for real victims to find justice.

The little boy can only cry wolf so many times, before the villagers refuse to listen.

anonymous May 16, 2011 1:55pm

Has it never occurred to you that the cops put a stop to a false accusation before it goes any further ? That perhaps the D.A. recognizes a false accusation when he or she sees one ? That perhaps juries know a liar when they see one ?

Just think for a moment : Maybe the reason that you erroneously believe that so few "rapes" are punished is because there are a lot more false accusations than you want to believe.

anonymous May 19, 2011 6:11pm

“my job was really fascinating because it put me at odds with my own stances”

Well, Jillian, at least you admit you are biased. But admitting it does not make it go away. What would you think of an admitted white-supremacist being a investigator on black crime?

The article above cites FBI and police data to make the case that “women lie” about rape. You counter by citing the group “End Violence Against Women International”, which is the source of the figures you offer. Frankly, I work on the assumption that the “research” of all such special interest groups is false until proven true.

If you have any more credible sources of data I’d be interested in seeing them.

anonymous May 16, 2011 3:31pm

Problem with that is that illegal recordings are generally inadmissible as evidence. All you get out of that is a second charge (possibly even a second sex charge IE making a sex tape without consent)

anonymous May 16, 2011 3:57pm

Boys are more likely than ever to drop out of school and engage in delinquency and other problems.

Of which suicide is a significant problem. I believe that states suggest that for every 100 girls who commit suicide in that age range, over 500 boys will also take their lives. And yet, you will never see a call to investigate why. You may see calls to look into suicide in general, worst yet, calls to look into only female suicide, but never for the boys. Are children's lives really worth so little if they are male?

anonymous May 16, 2011 4:22pm

Things have gotten worst, as now a mere accusation can get you ejected from school permanently, even if the accusation is later rescinded. At least, in the US. You can thank Biden for that.

anonymous May 16, 2011 8:12pm

Because feminists have spent several decades telling them they won't be believed and that their attacker will walk free anyways. With that kind of fear mongering coming from such a "trusted" source (after all, feminists couldn't possibly do anything to hurt women), would you be willing to come forward?

anonymous May 16, 2011 8:30pm

How about organizing a march, Another Fellow?

anonymous May 16, 2011 8:46pm

Well said, Lauren.

anonymous May 16, 2011 10:05pm

"and all I can say is: This Too Shall Pass."

Will it? the scare to her son will last for a long long time, assuming he has the strength to endure and keep living. The guilt the mother will endure, and the destruction to her personal friendships as colleagues abandon and turn on her, and disruption to her life if she choose to pursue the truth as a new cause, will forever change her life.

"this too shall pass". Is this what you tell to rape victims?

anonymous May 16, 2011 8:49pm

Is this a joke, Roosh? Or are you seriously throwing the rule of law under the bus?

anonymous May 16, 2011 8:55pm

Sexual consent forms are pointless. Consent can be withdrawn at any time, including mid coitus. And women like Mary Kellett will have no problems prosecuting men based on the accusation consent was withdrawn and the man didn't stop.

anonymous May 16, 2011 9:26pm

Good, god people…how could you thumb down the above comment asking for mindful commenting!? ~ Waylon

anonymous May 24, 2011 2:34pm

"You helped make this problem, your son is paying for it."

You may not like to hear it, you may find it too harsh, but it's true.

There is quite poetic justice in the events, assuming they are being reported accurately.

anonymous May 16, 2011 9:35pm

I'll leave this comment as a wonderful example of "what doesn't help" any of us, or those concerned. ~ Waylon

anonymous May 17, 2011 6:02pm

I agree

anonymous May 16, 2011 9:56pm

It was written by a personal friend of Waylon Lewis, ed..As such, base it's credibility (for you) based on them.

As to being insulting to those that use their real name… I see no last name Tamara. Waylon Lewis included his full name. As did I in my post bellow.

anonymous May 16, 2011 10:29pm

"Only recently have we begun to punish some women for making false allegations but we do so not because she ruined a man's life but because we want to discourage other false accusers from somehow making it "harder for women to come forward.""

Actually, the punishment is usually due to the amount of time, money and manpower that got wasted in the investigation. The harm done to the man is never even considered.

anonymous May 17, 2011 10:23am

Male genocide is a very intriguing idea. I never thought of that as an idea to eliminate rape once and for all. How feasible do you think this is in the next 10 years?

No men = no rape

I like how that sounds. Finally, a rape-free world where women can walk around like hookers and not be treated like one.

anonymous May 18, 2011 1:07am

Also not religious so i would not know.

But no what she is doing is bitching on how HER son would not do such things. what makes her son so special? women lie about this shit everyday why is she not talking about the rest of the men being lied on? men that because of this bullshit she believes and fights for are getting raped in jail for.Took her son being called a rapist for her to even think about the things she strongly fights for. Women wake up most of these feminist are lesbians who hate men and if you aren't that,wants kids marriage etc stop this bullshit! You cant have your cake and eat it too.

anonymous May 18, 2011 5:36am

Your integrity is impressive, Moose; I don't think many of us would be able to accept such an outcome so stoically.

No, I'm not referring to a burden of proof–I have argued, elsewhere in these comments, in defense of the burden of proof, in response to a comment that said (incredibly) that a man must prove he did *not* rape a woman, and that a few innocent men going to jail is OK. Appalling.

What I am referring to is the entrenched "blame the victim" mentality that 1) is very real (I've seen it in action) and 2) is, it seems to me, what enabled the feminist backlash, with its "all men are potential rapists" mentality, to gain strength in the first place.

anonymous May 18, 2011 2:01pm

Are you serious?

anonymous May 18, 2011 4:59pm

Actually, she makes note of how other men are also suffering from this problem. Might want to read the article again

anonymous May 18, 2011 5:04pm

I most certainly am nether a woman, nor a mangina, and I tend to agree with Better. Sure, it's possible you are right, but from what I read in the article, she started researching and found just how damaging this can be. She makes references threw-out her article to men in general, not just her son, and she should not be denied the chance to redeem herself just because you and guy have some hate-on, some inability to allow for redemption, as if you have never once done anything you later came to regret, even if that realization only came for selfish reasons.

anonymous May 20, 2011 9:44pm

Oh, get you and your name-calling. What next? Handbags at dawn? Hissy fits and SHOUTING are not going to persuade me of anything other than, you're a bit upset about something.

anonymous May 18, 2011 10:20pm

You support an ideology that advocates:

1. Killing children (post 3 months pregnancy) on a whim
2. Divorcing your husband for no reason and taking half his pay and his assets completely unearned
3. Telling ALL men thay are rapists waiting to happen
4. Lobbying politicians until it becomes legally fine and dandy for everything that comes out of your mouth to be gold, and everything that comes out of any man's mouth that has the audacity to contradict you perjury
5. Insisting that 9 months of pregnancy is more of a hardship than 18 years of financial slavery and thus any decision regarding opting out (early term – first feew weeks) is yours and yours alone

And you don't expect people to get upset? The French Revolution started over less.

anonymous May 19, 2011 8:27pm

Lisa, civil rights for African-Americans and other nonwhites attributed to their BIOLOGICAL RACE, and sexual orientation minorities attributed to their ATTRACTION TO THE SAME SEX, have legs to stand on. Feminism, especially when espoused by white females, does NOT because "male power" and "male privilege" are myths and "male responsibility" is a REALITY.
Most men in the colonial era DID NOT have the right to vote as they were either enslaved, Native Americans denied the franchise, or they did not own property. Widespread franchise only became the law of the land in 1971 when eighteen-year-olds could vote. Men have been dying on the battlefields of history for time immemorial but feminists are not advocating all-female selective service registration. S
ounds like intellectual laziness, and coming from a librarian, albeit a children's librarian, I would expect a lot better. BTW, who do you single out for punishment more at your library, girls or boys? The latter, right?

anonymous May 20, 2011 4:24pm

Lisa: "Misogynist" is a cheap, ignorant feminist smear word. I will thank you not to use it.

Furthermore, you should understand that feminism itself is directly responsible for fostering the social conditions that make the growth of so-called "misogyny" a foregone conclusion.

And every time you throw the word "misogyny" around with ZERO CRITICAL AWARENESS of all this, you too are guilty of fostering the said growth.

Words to the wise.

anonymous May 18, 2011 10:28pm

Yeah, Kratch, like I really throw large numbers of females in jail for long periods of time, all of whom have little ability in trial to defend themselves against spurious accusations from members of the opposite sex. Redemption for this anonymous cunt who won't even reveal her name because she knows the lynch mob that would come for her is not going to happen. There is no point in playing nice with a feminazi.

anonymous May 19, 2011 8:07pm

Men make false accusations about women abusing children too.

anonymous Jun 10, 2011 6:52am

I cannot understand that there are people who give a thumbs up to somebody who hopes a man will get raped in prison so his mother will suffer. I'll hope you all find some compassion soon.

anonymous May 19, 2011 8:48pm

wow, you've done an excellent job reading into my remarks intentions that were never there. what's my own personal agenda? the only personal anecdote i offered was that i have actually witnessed a trial in which a man was falsely accused of rape. in what part of any of my writing did i "champion to ensure every guilty woman remains free"? and your comment about my statistics is completely misguided: i myself was the one who offered 25% as the arrest rate. YOU responded that "someone else above said it was 50.8%" my response was to clarify that the 50.8% statistic was referred to as the conviction rate, NOT the arrest rate, which is what i was discussing. you might want to make sure the person has actually made the mistake you accuse them of making before engaging in the "statistics are so inconsistent!" rhetoric.

anonymous May 19, 2011 9:07pm

Arrest and conviction are totally different. Someone must first be arrested before they are prosecuted. The arrest rate is the rate, that after an accusation is made, those people are arrested. Of those, a certain percentage are actually brought to trial (prosecuted), of those prosecuted a certain percentage are actually convicted.

Being found innocent of a crime, also doesn't make you innocent. Just as being accused doesn't make you guilty either.

anonymous May 20, 2011 8:27am

Yes, they do… but not nearly as often, for the simple reason that it seldom works. The legal system believes women, often even when they are obviously lying, while it gives no such benefit of the doubt to men. Follow the incentives.

anonymous May 20, 2011 4:40pm

"This is not about revenge, it is about justice."

That is a noble sentiment. Yet I must be honest: revenge (i.e. punishment in one form or another) is quite justified in this case.

anonymous May 20, 2011 5:33pm

I believe it DOES help, if it puts the world on notice about the ugly, scary reality that is developing. No point in sweeping such things under the carpet. It needs to be set out in the open where everybody can know about it and hopefully be inspired to take remedial action before things pass a catastrophic threshold.

anonymous May 20, 2011 6:57pm

"The forgiveness, as I said, even of the unpardonable, is what brings peace."

No justice, no peace.

anonymous May 21, 2011 10:34pm

I am impressed with your reasoning. If only our schools taught this, the problem being discussed would hardly arise. Thanx.

anonymous May 22, 2011 12:02pm

you got linked to by some other blogs interested in the story

it's actually kind of surprising how easily you can find falsely accused men, just in a comments section of a blog post

anonymous May 22, 2011 9:23pm

We can be open and not suppress such, I agree. But we don't have to be violent about it—doesn't help anything, hey? ~ Waylon

anonymous May 22, 2011 9:29pm

I responded to Tamara, a friend, personally. This article is about a friend, by his mother, whom I've never met, but we've emailed throughout this process. That this article is about a friend who I do know to be decent in no way tells me whether or not he's innocent, or there's some gray area.

The point of publishing this was not to determine his innocence, of course—but rather to explore whether or not he is getting a fair trial; innocent before being proven guilty. If the testimony of every one of his ex-girlfriends isn't even counted, I can't see how this is a fair case.

Respectful dialogue about such painful issues is vital. Vitriolic rhetoric is too easy, and not helpful to either "side". ~ Waylon Lewis

anonymous May 22, 2011 9:31pm

Well, we almost never publish anything under anonymous…I can't think of any other article in which I've agreed to "anonymous" as a byline. Well, maybe one or two over 3 years' time.

But in this case, I know the woman's name and the young man in question, and it was established in my view that they were taking responsibility for their words—but that because the story was currently in court they could not use their names. ~ W.

anonymous May 22, 2011 10:46pm

Feminism usurped and built the DV industry by lying about perpetration and victimization. They have identified DV as a male perpetrator, female victimizer phenomena, and that's a lie. They make insistences that prosecuting false accusers would only make things more difficult to true victims, while then using those false accusers as statics to show not enough is done about rape, in order to scare people into funding them… but, as a side effect, also scare true victims into not coming forward out of fear of not being taken seriously. Feminist DV and rape industries (and they are feminist industries) do, indeed, perpetuate and protect false accusers by calling for them not to be held to task. And as a participant of both industries, the author is in a position to know just how much. The dismissal of both her and her son throughout the comments section by feminists and activists only goes to demonstrate the fact, that much more.

anonymous May 24, 2011 10:46am

Here's a doctor on the receiving end of a false accusation.
http://www.pulitzer.org/archives/6414

It ruined his career, and his life.

anonymous May 24, 2011 8:30pm

Waylon has already explained that she is not allowed to discuss the case for legal reasons.

anonymous May 24, 2011 8:40pm

Then you are as much a part of the problem. As you are as dedicated and unwavering in your hatred as you claim she is in hers.

anonymous May 24, 2011 9:32pm

Hi Reap,

I am not making an emotional plea, nor am I interested in debating the veracity of the comments.

My points were simply that: 1) anonymous commenting is a great way to absolve oneself from social responsibility; 2) confusing anecdotal experience for universal truth is short-sighted; and 3) even if you ignore 1 and 2, we are on Elephant Journal, a website billed as a forum for the mindful community. Pausing to figure out if what we want to type either elevates or contributes constructively to a discussion seems like the least we can do. Well, that and buying an EJ subscription. 🙂

Vanessa

anonymous May 24, 2011 10:40pm

Wow – and once AGAIN HMLewis misses the other side of the coin. Yes, some recant because they can't go through with it.

And some men plead guilty to avoid decades in jail.

Kinda missed your radar screen huh? But that would require of you empathy for the true victim of a false accusation : the man falsely accused.

Never occured to you – did it?

anonymous May 24, 2011 11:03pm

Tell me these posts are a joke …. this has GOT to be a joke.

A royal aristocracy of actions with impunity is being proposed.

anonymous Aug 11, 2011 2:19am

I know these are a joke but I did have a thought about what you were saying with male genocide equals no rape, which CLEARLY would not be the case. Feminists conveniently don't touch lesbian rape/sexual assault/abuse because it doesn't fit the story of all men are rapists and only men can commit rape because it is somehow inherent in their nature.

They also skip over homosexual (including lesbian obviously) domestic violence statistics when they go on about how all men are abusers and batterers, etc. In fact, domestic violence in homosexual relationships has a higher prevalence and are often more violent.