“The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved.” ~ Mother Theresa
Mother Theresa had it right, loneliness is an expression of despair and a longing to be loved…loved by your self.
It is a dull, hollow ache that silently wails inside. It is often smothered and silenced on Friday nights by buckets of ice cream. Loneliness is synonymous with tracksuit pants, slippers and couches and fueled with the fear of the expected outcome of a hollow, empty old age devoid of all company, love and happiness.
So many people bounce from partner to partner or party to party for fear that when they stop they will be alone. Alone though is not the same thing as loneliness. When you think about loneliness you think of the concept in relation to being around other folk. But loneliness is a longing for love within. It’s an ache for self-acceptance, care and self-love.
You know the deal. You could be at a party with heaps of people, chatting, slurping and munching away and participating on the outside, but inside you are numb, hollow, disconnected.You go into blame mode. No one understands you. No one wants to really get to know you. No one could possibly like you.
Hang on there Tiger. This is your inner self-wanting you to reconnect with your own authenticity. This is your true self, asking you to spend some time understanding who you really are; caring for yourself. Learning to love your self.
It is not the fault of the people you hang out with. It is not fault of the family you are “stuck” with or your colleagues at work. To overcome loneliness, you most overcome your own perceptions, expectations and personas about yourself and settle into your own skin.
Once you start to love and care for yourself, to listen to that truest part of you, you will start to enjoy your own company. Then you just don’t care about the number of social engagements you have, getting a partner or a having the ideal connected family.
As a side benefit, you will start to spend time on things that really matter to you. New people will come into your life that you connect with based on authentic common interests. You will start to speak from a place of real truth and humour, and people will flock to you.
All you’ve got to do there matey, is meditate a bit each day and get used to just being with yourself. Start to hang out with you, doing stuff you love. Pack away the all the bullshit for a while that demands you look, act and talk a certain way and just see what happens.
Let me know how you go.
Zali is an Aussie writer and yoga teacher hibernating in Moscow for a few years. She specialises in personal development and holistic weight loss. You can get more of Zali’s articles at www.pathtocontentment.com .