What am I enjoying the most? How I am spending my days? Where could my behaviour *do with a little improvement?
I spend too much time on the computer. I try too hard to make people like me. I panic about money. I don’t do enough exercise. I spend too much money on books and cake. Etc. Etc. Etc.
All of these traits are as familiar to me as the palm of my own hand. Why are they still present in my life? With all the self-development work I’ve done, all the therapy, all the spiritual improvement, shouldn’t I be near-perfect by now? Shouldn’t I at least be working with a different set of problems?
Of course, I have also changed beyond recognition. I feel more confident about what I’m offering to the world. I know myself infinitely better. I’m more relaxed. I have more faith.
Both these things are true. I have changed beyond recognition, and certain parts of me (‘solidified habit patterns’ or ‘ways of being’) have hardly changed at all.
These habit patterns formed SO early in my life, and are SO deep down, and were SO crucial to my survival as I was growing up, that they are hugely difficult to budge. Near impossible. The image I often use is of deep deep foundations, made of solid rock.
The good news is that fissures do form in this rock.
Sometimes a crack appears without warning. We might have spent years working with our compulsive need to control our appearance. One day we wake up and suddenly feel able to go outside without any make-up on.
Sometimes the change is more insidouous. After a life-time of panicking about money, we realise that we’ve been giving more and more away to charity without feeling any anxiety.
So how do we work on these deep-down rock solid ways of being?
We rain love on them. We love these parts of ourselves, and we allow others to love us.
Water takes a long time to soften rock. But rock does soften.
Have patience with yourself. Let the gentle rain fall.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
* “All of you are perfect just as you are… and you could use a little improvement.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Image by Tambako the Jaguar via Creative Commons, with thanks
hot on elephant
A letter to the Anger that refuses to Leave Me. 120 shares The Most Powerful Moon of the Year: New Moon & Solar Eclipse in Pisces. 64,198 shares A Relationship will only be as Good as the Sex. 10,746 shares Welcome to Pisces Season: A Love there is no Coming Back From. 14,064 shares How Women ruin Good Men. 4,576 shares If You Love an Intuitive, Old-Soul Pisces, Read This. 10,790 shares If You have to “Think About It,” then I’m Not the One for You. 5,018 shares We can’t Break Up with a Soulmate. 1,878 share What Rumi had to Say about Unhappy Love. 249 shares This Venus Retrograde could bring you a Fated Love. 768 shares