So, we’ve just had the big V-Day. Maybe you had bubbly and chocolate panties, maybe you organized your lover’s most favorite meal, or (like us) maybe you laid off your entire work force and spent the evening drinking your sorrows away.
Whatever your Valentine’s Day was (or wasn’t) this is a unique opportunity to keep things smokin’ hot in your relationship. V-Day naturally inspires a spark in our love making, even for those of us who had a crappy to non-existent celebration; the sex was still ah-mazing!
It is a simple fact that this holiday, however contrived, reminds us that we do like each other, we want to be intimate and connected and we enjoy our bodies… especially covered in chocolate sauce.
That sh*t is down right inspirational.
The relationship spark naturally erupts this time of year, and we can use it to burst our intimacy into flame and keep the good times rollin’.
How, exactly, do we do that? These five simple tips have been used in my own relationship, with my clients, and in workshops I have facilitated. I have seen these beautifully simple methods work time and time again and I want to share them with you.
1. Listen with your Heart
Give genuine attention to your lover, partner, boyfriend or wife. Stop what you are doing, right now, and breathe into your heart space. You do not have to hear their words to respond. Listening with your heart means you are hearing more than their words. You are hearing who they are. And that is genuine intimacy.
2. Use Their Love Language
Ever heard of The Five Love Languages? The theory goes like this: we all express and receive love differently from one another and knowing what our love language is and the language of our partner helps us more readily give and receive quality affection. Try out their handy dandy quiz to determine your language.
3. Spontaneously Make Out
This is not like spontaneous combustion. It’s fun! Remember when you first started dating and making out was totally hot? It can be so again, my friends! Surprise your partner with a spontaneous make out, kiss passionately, feel their curves and muscles beneath your palms, inhale them like there is no tomorrow. After all, you never know if there will be a tomorrow. Express your passion now. It is the only moment you truly have.
4. Get in the Habit of Regular Love Making
We want to connect with each other, both physically and emotionally. Sex bonds us using various brain chemicals and endorphins but it also bonds us to each other’s spirit. When we are making love we are in the act of union, grace, and creation. We are in the throes of passion and in the arms of our beloved. It is a special and, of course, highly pleasurable experience that unites us in secret longing. We have varying libidos and tastes, but how we have sex is just a habit—like eating your daily fruits and veggies. It’s good for you! Do it regularly.
5. Love Your Self First
We cannot know or love another until we first know and love our selves. We cannot give attention, sexual or otherwise, to any one else until we have taken care of ourselves first. This may be as simple as a hot bath or time alone to think. What ever you need to feel full, satisfied and content with life is imperative to your relationship. Your sexual and emotional connection will be stronger if you are strong in the love you have for your Self.
Simple, effective and doable, these five simple tips have the potential to flame the fires of your romance. We all want love and connection, and life is just too damn short to not have the kind of love you want in it.
You can have intimacy exactly as you desire – and I hope you do!
Want one more tip?
Dig in deeper at The Couple’s Guide to Being Great Lovers–Virtual Retreat starting March 13th.
Editor: Brianna Bemel
Christin Myrick is a Sex Coach, Writer and Soul Seer. She offers virtual and live training that fundamentally alters the way we engage in relationships and sex. She believes in creating truly inspiring, wild and precious lives through radical intimacy. Feeling titillated? Find out more at: www.theheartofintimacy.com