We all know the cliché of real love in our society.
Watch a movie, listen to a song, read a romance novel. They all give you the ooey gooey, rip your heart out, kind of love.
Those illusions are more like speed bumps on the way to the real deal.
1) True love has no time limit.
Whether you meet and it’s kismet or a long, torturous, on again/off again courtship, when the seeds of true love have been planted, it can take its own sweet time to sprout.
Let me clarify: Kismet is destiny, or whatever you want to call it. It may not necessarily be instant chemical attraction, though it could rock your world. Rather, it’s a “knowing” feeling.
And even though you “know” and the other person knows, it doesn’t mean both parties are ready for “true love.”
And that brings me to the long, torturous, on again/off again courtship.
If it weren’t so prevalent, I wouldn’t mention it here.
Some who have met the love of their life can’t seem to get out of their own way and have checked into the lovesick wing of a virtual hospital.
It’s time to heal and get out of this place.
Where old wounds keep festering; hearts broken into shards can’t pick up their pieces and everyone needs more nursing. It’s a place to be stuck in the past and congregate with others to tell their tales of woe.
True love leaves this person torn.
They cannot be fully open, present and vulnerable in a true love relationship, and they can’t let go either.
No one can let go. Or walk away for good.
We c’mon back like a rubberband on steroids.
One or both of us have an allergic reaction, so we must stay away from what feels good, happy, and kind, because some day, this love will eat you alive.
And the two people on this path are in a cosmic collision.
Feels like karma, feels like there’s no choice, feels like you must be nuts.
Yup…it’s a lesson alright!
You see, I have found through my own experience and watching others in this dilemma, sometimes it’s about patience (not to be confused with waiting).
You receive a gift with the challenge of something so good, being so painful, because one person (or both) has their eyes turned to the past.
Patience whittles away inauthenticity and gives the gift of self-love, confidence, and knowing oneself.
2) Your ego does not win.
When you meet someone with a soul, heart, intellectual, friendship, love connection, your ego may pull all its usual bullsh*t. In fact, count on it!
Until your ego is reminded over and over again that our purpose of being here is to love. And the beautiful messed up soul in front of you needs your love as much as your messed up self needs your love.
True love works its magic on your stance. It softens you allowing the flow of those feelings. You realize, yes this is pure, true love.
No matter if it is kismet or a long struggle, the ego does not get top billing in a relationship based in true love. And it does not guarantee the outcome.
3) You have a sense of humor, lightness, connection and goodness even when the shit hits the fan.
It’s called true love, unconditional and even if you do decide to part ways, love is always there.
4) You can’t escape the synchronicity.
It is almost ridiculous!
Whether it’s the weird things you have in common or how you share the same breath or that your brothers are both named Bob or your similar perception of life.
How about finding out you crossed paths more than once years ago without knowing it?
Or on the flip side…
Everywhere you go their name like a neon sign or some impossible to ignore song or commercial has you tripping over yourself, scratching your head wondering, why can’t I escape this crazy fun house!
Don’t run or hide.
Give in, it’s easier.
Take it as a confirmation, that you’re in a good place.
Whether you are both feet looking into each other’s eyes or running in opposite directions, just know with synchronicity—it ain’t over ’til it’s over.
Lessons in life come from our own evolution.
You want to evolve?
Relationships are the perfect place for spiritual growth.
And when we try to bypass or cut short the lesson, surprise! We get to repeat it!
Who doesn’t love the torture of repeating patterns, trying to make sense of our choices, feelings about ourselves and what attracts us to these challenges?
True love is the glue to your heart binding you to your own potential soul growth. Awareness is the illuminator.
Whether you marry, live together or run off and join the circus, true love stays with you, because it just “is.”
5) You feel lucky.
You have been fortunate enough to meet someone to experience true love and connection. Whether it is for a day, year or the rest of your life, you feel as though this is what love stories should really be written about and that who you open and become through true love is the most authentic version of yourself.
What’s not to love?
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Editor: Kate Bartolotta