Five Signs of True Love.

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Relephant bonus:

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Photo: Chordboard

We all know the cliché of real love in our society.

Watch a movie, listen to a song, read a romance novel. They all give you the ooey gooey, rip your heart out, kind of love.

Those illusions are more like speed bumps on the way to the real deal.

1) True love has no time limit.

Whether you meet and it’s kismet or a long, torturous, on again/off again courtship, when the seeds of true love have been planted, it can take its own sweet time to sprout.

Let me clarify: Kismet is destiny, or whatever you want to call it. It may not necessarily be instant chemical attraction, though it could rock your world. Rather, it’s a “knowing” feeling.

And even though you “know” and the other person knows, it doesn’t mean both parties are ready for “true love.”

And that brings me to the long, torturous, on again/off again courtship.

If it weren’t so prevalent, I wouldn’t mention it here.

Some who have met the love of their life can’t seem to get out of their own way and have checked into the lovesick wing of a virtual hospital.

It’s time to heal and get out of this place.

Where old wounds keep festering; hearts broken into shards can’t pick up their pieces and everyone needs more nursing. It’s a place to be stuck in the past and congregate with others to tell their tales of woe.

True love leaves this person torn.

They cannot be fully open, present and vulnerable in a true love relationship, and they can’t let go either.

No one can let go. Or walk away for good.

We c’mon back like a rubberband on steroids.

One or both of us have an allergic reaction, so we must stay away from what feels good, happy, and kind, because some day, this love will eat you alive.

And the two people on this path are in a cosmic collision.

Feels like karma, feels like there’s no choice, feels like you must be nuts.

Yup…it’s a lesson alright!

You see, I have found through my own experience and watching others in this dilemma, sometimes it’s about patience (not to be confused with waiting).

You receive a gift with the challenge of something so good, being so painful, because one person (or both) has their eyes turned to the past.

Patience whittles away inauthenticity and gives the gift of self-love, confidence, and knowing oneself.

2) Your ego does not win.

When you meet someone with a soul, heart, intellectual, friendship, love connection, your ego may pull all its usual bullsh*t. In fact, count on it!

Until your ego is reminded over and over again that our purpose of being here is to love. And the beautiful messed up soul in front of you needs your love as much as your messed up self needs your love.

True love works its magic on your stance. It softens you allowing the flow of those feelings. You realize, yes this is pure, true love.

No matter if it is kismet or a long struggle, the ego does not get top billing in a relationship based in true love. And it does not guarantee the outcome.

3) You have a sense of humor, lightness, connection and goodness even when the shit hits the fan.

It’s called true love, unconditional and even if you do decide to part ways, love is always there.

4) You can’t escape the synchronicity.

It is almost ridiculous!

Whether it’s the weird things you have in common or how you share the same breath or that your brothers are both named Bob or your similar perception of life.

How about finding out you crossed paths more than once years ago without knowing it?

Or on the flip side…

Everywhere you go their name like a neon sign or some impossible to ignore song or commercial has you tripping over yourself, scratching your head wondering, why can’t I escape this crazy fun house!

Don’t run or hide.

Give in, it’s easier.

Take it as a confirmation, that you’re in a good place.

Whether you are both feet looking into each other’s eyes or running in opposite directions, just know with synchronicity—it ain’t over ’til it’s over.

Lessons in life come from our own evolution.

You want to evolve?

Relationships are the perfect place for spiritual growth.

And when we try to bypass or cut short the lesson, surprise! We get to repeat it!

Who doesn’t love the torture of repeating patterns, trying to make sense of our choices, feelings about ourselves and what attracts us to these challenges?

True love is the glue to your heart binding you to your own potential soul growth. Awareness is the illuminator.

Whether you marry, live together or run off and join the circus, true love stays with you, because it just “is.”

5) You feel lucky.

You have been fortunate enough to meet someone to experience true love and connection. Whether it is for a day, year or the rest of your life, you feel as though this is what love stories should really be written about and that who you open and become through true love is the most authentic version of yourself.

What’s not to love?

 

~

Bonus round:





One of our favorite couples shows us what true love means:

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You still have space for independence in your lives.

 

A Letter From The Love You Haven’t Met Yet. 

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Like elephant love on Facebook.

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Editor: Kate Bartolotta

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Tracy Crossley

Tracy Crossley is a hyphenate: female, writer, curiosity quencher, artist, poet, gardener of real gardens and existential ones, clairvoyant, and momma to grown ups. She owns Intuitive Reinvention Inc. She is currently speaking, writing and mentoring people on getting out of their heads and dysfunctional relationships and into living an authentic, anxiety-free, happy and loving existence. If you want to learn more about her and how she can help you, check out a complimentary discovery session with her click to learn and schedule., Or find her on social media, facebook page, blog and on twitter, she always follows back. She also has a free weekly podcast show on many topics she writes about here click here to listen.

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anonymous Mar 23, 2016 9:00pm

At 17 I met the man I will love with my full heart forever..I walked into a art class my 1st day and he couldn’t stop looking at me in a daze.His friend called his name twice(Mark), fanned his hand in front of his face,he still didn’t move.Instead his mouth fell open which caused his friend to laugh out loud then walk over and introduce his self..Mark’s friend walked back over to him and told him everything I said to him,Mark never stopped looking at me…Class started and he had to leave,he was in that art class in a earlier period..I started school that April so summer came and went and we started school that September.We didn’t see each other all summer but the eyes were on me every time he saw me. I finally asked his friend, “Why does your friend stair at me every time he sees me?” He replied with a chuckle,”Who Mark?,Cause he like’s you!” I never did respond until the day Mark and his friends happened to be in art class playing a game..I’m not sure if it was a bet or dare but it was to kiss me..A few weeks before this I was having a bad day and Mark was eye balling me as usual and I bugged my eyes out and twisted my mouth at him..The look on his face was priceless as his friend laughed out loud..Mark walked over to me and asked why I did that,I responded I was tired of him looking at me all the time..He said he was looking at the art on the board behind me.I turned my head in the opposite direction looking at the board..I looked at him and said,”Yeah,so you have a picture up there..Big deal”..He looked puzzled before walking away..He left the class soon after cause his friend couldn’t stop laughing at him..Well he got his revenge a few weeks later. He asked me why I was in his class,I said why..He asked me how tall I am,I said how tall.He asked me if I had a boy friend,as I turned toward him to answer..He laid the most precious kiss on me I still get weak in the knees for to this day…I was so lost in the kiss the crowd was going wild,all I heard was bells ringing fire works popping…Till he broke the kiss,walked away smiling and wiping his mouth…I couldn’t move,breath or believe he just did that..His friends were patting him on the back and laughing,he stood there with no expression what so ever..I had to get the heck out of there so I ran..A friend on the football team saw me running and crying,he asked what happened…I couldn’t even say,I just went home.. Today I’m married to somebody else 29 years..We were only friends who never had any friends and our families treated us badly..Loyalty means everything to us and we now raise 2 special needs sons together..It’s all about their safety and well being now since both families never helped out and freeze us out of all family gatherings..Facebook classmates found Mark who’s still single..After talking for 5 years he has now realized I’m the one for him..WOW!! I could have told him that 30 years ago but some men just don’t get it..My friend I married totally understands and agrees with me..If Mark really loves me he will step up like a real man and talk to him,the man who was mature enough to marry me when he was 23..We are still friends enough to except the truth and not ever hurt each other by cheating…Our son’s will always come first.I have respect and love enough to make sure my husband is fully ok with the choice we made so many years ago..I love him for that alone…He deserves somebody to love him the same way in this short life..I will stay good to him and always love him for letting me be happy..

anonymous Dec 28, 2015 5:19am

and it doesn't always last for ever in real time. I still love my three previous loves, and I know they love me back. One will be in my life forever no matter that we run on different paths now. I'm also ready and waiting for the next love. I feel it.

anonymous May 24, 2015 1:05am

This is a beautiful piece of art and the pictures and story dazzling with brilliance.

anonymous Apr 26, 2015 3:16pm

I think there has to be a number 6. I never believed in "best" friends. I realized that it was reserved for THE guy.

anonymous Apr 9, 2015 9:08am

Thank you for this article! It resonates deep within me. Finding the great love of your life is a beautiful thing. Patience is key & loving all of someone is so important. Not seeking what you will gain, but what you can do to give them gain.

anonymous Apr 7, 2015 5:50pm

There is nothing more I can see to think or do
It appears to me that I love you with all being
The conditions (not seeing, not talking) would be clear reason for desire to dissipate in some
But they seem unaffecting
Through patience desire has developed into an acceptance
Rather than something to grasp for
You are always in my mind and heart
I have learned to accept that
And that was tough
But now
Every thought of you brings with it a feeling of love for you
For you to be happy or sad or whatever you need
For you to have rest or action or whatever you need
For you to be Loved and Love
Or simply and wholly to be You
You are like the hot sun that warms the earth
Not always seen and not always close when things are frozen over
But there is only One that does what you do
And that's you
True Blue
Love

anonymous Mar 29, 2015 5:58am

11yrs ago I met someone and we we're off/on again and until this day we still both want each other but I turned away. I keep breaking my heart and I want more of him not pieces of him. But he doesn't seem to understand and just a day before valentines day this yr he told me on the phone that his in love with me,of course I laugh it off. I didn't believe him. From then on he keeps calling and texting and I keep saying no. I told him until you know how to love me,stay away and promise to never call me again. If this was true love why does it hurt, why does it play a game,I actually think we're both fucked up in the head. He won't commit,he won't give himself 100%,I'm willing too. I'm 43,his 52. Need I say more. His always in my mind and in my heart. I've always said he is the love of my life,he always has a place in my heart but that's how it ends.

anonymous Mar 29, 2015 5:50am

All of this is true… patience, being still and praying.

anonymous Mar 29, 2015 3:49am

All of this so resonates with me and my life. To add up the challenge: I have two true loves in my life since some 20 years. This used to make me crazy in so many ways – it's only with time and meditation that I start to accept this challenge 'as is' and not something I have to fight against or try to control all the time.

anonymous Feb 20, 2015 9:09am

Thanks for posting this. Really helpful today. I know I have lots of ego problems, but this is the first time I have ever experienced deep, connected love. It’s both a blessing and a curse because we also have a large age gap between us. It’s the daily fight of “Should I stay or should I go?”

anonymous Feb 19, 2015 7:41pm

this is it. only experienced this once- and we are still in it together. painful and wild and beautiful and no getting around it.

anonymous Feb 4, 2015 8:01pm

Wonderful read! I took notes.

anonymous Feb 4, 2015 3:03pm

How hard I've tried to push this from myself to stay "safe". Thank you for this, really.

    anonymous Mar 29, 2015 3:52am

    I've gone through the same path before I realised that the nature of true love is beyond any attempts of control.

anonymous Dec 21, 2014 5:34am

Exactly if a bonding between two people is demomstrated by these factors in this post, will surely signify true love. Strong commitment can only be the best route to a successful relationship and prefer the idea of giving to others rather than only wanting from others.

anonymous Sep 7, 2014 1:14pm

I have one happening right now – we are up to #44 in the synchronicity dept.
Thanks for reassuring me as this is a internet connection. Meeting the heart and soul before the physical. That's happening in 16 days 😀

anonymous Aug 15, 2014 12:06pm

Unconditional love is loving someone in spite of themselves. It is love without boundaries or expectations. It is forever love. I love you forever, no matter what happens, is a good motto. This is true love.

anonymous Jul 11, 2014 11:52pm

😉

anonymous Jun 2, 2014 1:52pm

Thank you for writing this! I am currently experiencing the feelings of luck, the KNOWING in the face of UNKNOWING, the humility and need for patience….as much as the distance and bad timing hurt like hell it's still so beautiful, and the hard parts pass as funny once they are over! <3

anonymous Apr 12, 2014 6:19pm

Right on – for what I thought was late in life, I learned of this type of love, it resonates for me as a love of no expectation – even the expectation that you will be with that person – to have a strong love regardless and with no jealousy – this was powerful stuff – freeing, & beautiful when allowed to rest there instead of some zone of melancholy or pining – true love is so wowza 🙂

    anonymous Apr 14, 2014 11:10am

    Hi Barry~ True love is so different from fairy tale love or jumping off a bridge love. True love is kinder, gentler and already a part of each of us once we remove our ego from the equation. 🙂 Thank you for your comment. 🙂

anonymous Apr 12, 2014 12:33pm

I LOVE this. It echoes my own looooooong draw out on again / on again relationship of 16 yrs with the father of my son. We have SO MUCH love for each other and sometimes think we need to let go, but cannot leave each other alone for more than 24 hrs. Too many articles these days say “if it doesn’t serve you, let it go”. But what isn’t serving you about coming face to face with the power struggle of the ego time and time again? We MUST see our shadow if we want to move through to the other side. I say OWN your feelings and be patient for true love will wait. xxx

    anonymous Apr 14, 2014 11:09am

    I totally agree about owning our feelings, no one else can tell us what it is or why feel how we do. And I have yet to meet someone who can actually let go "emotionally" when they are told to do so. Thank you Holly! 🙂

anonymous Sep 10, 2013 5:17pm

thank you for articulating my story, I feel comforted. I feel sad still, as I look at my attachment and proud that I am courageous .

anonymous Apr 29, 2013 11:40pm

lovely image

anonymous Oct 13, 2012 2:42pm

[…] what is love? Is there such a thing? And what I mean is that true love, which is forever after, yet always exciting, stimulating and wrought in passion. That is what I […]

anonymous Jun 27, 2012 2:36pm

[…] hole my mother left by her dramatic leaving was a bottomless need inside my fractured psyche for a Big Love. I wanted something or someone to sweep me off my feet and into a place of vulnerability and mutual […]

anonymous Jun 20, 2012 11:46am

[…] what is love, then? It is self-acceptance that allows us to unconditionally accept someone […]

anonymous May 18, 2012 9:48am

Na-MESS-sté: 'the mess in me bows to and honors the mess in you" 🙂

    anonymous May 18, 2012 6:21pm

    That is the best interpretation…ever! : )

Yash Sengar Jun 16, 2018 5:47am

This is really nice. I really liked your article. Thanks for the information. what is true love

Melina Powers Jul 21, 2017 6:40pm

"on the way to the real deal" <3

Autumn Indigo Jul 9, 2017 1:02pm

Thank you! I believe ur thoughts and explanations were perfectly on point.

Barry El-islam Apr 20, 2017 8:26am

EDUCATIVE

Melina Powers Aug 12, 2016 11:39pm

"It is rather a “knowing” feeling. And even though you “know” and the other person knows, it doesn’t mean both parties are ready for “true love.”"

Carolyn Barndt Jul 3, 2016 4:02am

“Love takes off the masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within. I use the word "love" here not merely in the personal sense but as a state of being, or a state of grace - not in the infantile American sense of being made happy but in the tough and universal sense of quest and daring and growth.” - James Baldwin

Sebrof Ymmit Jun 11, 2016 5:31pm

Hmmm...but is it true love if only ONE person ticks off all of those signs and the other just...well...leaves. I had this. With my wife. We BOTH claimed all the signs. Then after 18 years, she left for another man (from her past)...not sure I believe in love anymore...and that was 6 years ago...

Paulina Piña Jun 8, 2016 9:31pm

Thanks! So true: sometimes it's not love at first sight, it takes time. But once you're in, you're in: I've ticked the 5 Signs, thanks so much for writing about this wonderful experience!

Darina Todirica Jun 8, 2016 12:29am

Thank you for this one. Love it :) and it sounds so true to me

Karen Gall Apr 19, 2016 2:22am

[email protected]#$