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June 25, 2012

Bitches Love Picnics: 10 Super Classy First Date Ideas for Gentlemen Callers.

(Photo: Pinterest)

 

Also, Bitches love Tumblr.

 

Bitches love X:

 

When the word is used as an insult, it sets apart an individual, conveying feelings of hostility. When used in this plural form, the sentiment can be one of good humor to refer to a group of close friends and associates. While there are exceptions to this application[18], the context of the situation can affect the meaning of the word “bitches.”

While the exact origin of this change in tone is unknown, it can also be attributed to the reclamation of the word “bitch” by the feminist movement…

You know that meme “Bitches love…x”?

Yeah, me neither. And me and two gent friends weren’t laughing an hour or so ago about my putting together a classy, respectful, feminist-forward blog under the title “Bitches love Picnics & 9 other Classy First Date Ideas.”

Bitches Love Picnics: 10 Classy First Date Ideas for Gentlemen.

Fuck dinner. Fuck a drink. Fuck meeting in a fucking café. This isn’t a job interview, good sir. As Emily Dickinson said…well, she said something about getting at the truth, but getting at it slantways. Meaning, doooo something together. Make the two of you separate, nervous, on-good-behaviour individuals an “us,” a team…make the conversation the spice or sauce, instead of the main dish.

> Take her to a summertime outdoor Shakespeare Play (walk there, dinner before or drinks after, bring a jacket or blanket, she’ll need it, hold hands if you must at some point, it’ll be dark and nothing in the WORLD is better than holding hands for the first few times)

> Take her to a Scuba Dive the Shark Tank at Denver Aquarium (this masterful suggestion comes via Christopher of Christopher & Merete)

> Picnic by swimming hole in park. Go upstream as possible, water’s cleaner. If possible, meet at farmers’ market or grocery before to get your things, bike to the picnic. Bring a FUCKING blanket.

> Take her to a NEVER Let them decide where you’re going, they may be stronger emotionally and sharper and wiser but this is a date, take the lead. There are times for equality in form (ie, going dutch, and there are times for chivalry, ie paying on a first date, and deciding (after some feeling out in terms of what she’s up for) what you two will do. You are the DECIDER, to (for the first time ever) quoteth the sage Dubya.

> Take her on a Drive to a nice view at night (Parking Garage will do).

> Take her far away to dinner…say, locally, the Gold Hill Inn. Live music is a plus. (getting away for dinner a little ways outside of town to beach or mountains or warehouse district all alone just the two of you makes you feel like high schoolers feeling like you’re adults, again)

> Take her on a hike (with your dog or her dog or borrowed dog). While she can’t dress up, she can wear yoga pants, and the interview dynamic of conventional first dates is replaced by relaxation, breathing, views, natural flow of conversation. If you’re a bad first dater, nervous, do something like this.

> Take her to something old school, MAN: Ballet…anything super traditional. Theater (bonus points if your eyes get wet, don’t sob but some emotion shows that you’re human, vulnerable, open, real. If you fake it SHE WILL KNOW AND FORGET YOU INSTANTLY. Hand grabbing is ADVANCED LEVEL ONLY hold hands totally by mind feel, be HALF rational and HALF romantic).

> Speed round: poetry reading at cafe, reading at old independent book store, Independent Film Series, opera, baseball (if cool oldish stadium), First Friday…any of which give bonus points if you bike together or car ride together, get dinner before or drinks after.

By my count, that’s 10 suggestions. If your count is different, you’re wrong—but…feel free to suggest your own…suggestions down below, in comments. Blogs are 2.0, only as good as the community conversation they engender.

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