32 Truths Every Adult Should Know.

Via Kate Bartolotta
on Aug 28, 2012
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Can I get an amen?

Okay, it’s silly, but put a number in the title and words like “should” and “must” and we just have to know what’s on the list. We steel ourselves to disagree with what was included or left out. We wonder what magical thing will we learn this time, when usually, magazine and internet lists are the same old thing over and over.

But this time? I’ll bet you laughed or nodded (except maybe to #30).

So let’s all agree:

There is no magical list of eight new ab moves coming out next month.

The top five amazing foods that fight aging are all fruits and vegetables so just eat more fruits and vegetables already.

The 10 things you can do that are going to make your life more wonderful?

The first one isn’t engaging in comment wars on the internet. It probably has more to do with letting go of anger. Or being grateful. Or being compassionate to yourself and others. Or realizing that all of this isn’t something to take seriously—so let’s laugh.

Let’s all laugh for a few minutes, forget all our grown-up worries and go out and look at the stars.

I guarantee you’ll feel better.

~

Bonus: Three things I wish I knew when I was 22:


Another simple way to detox: 

~

Relephant Reading:

15 Ways to Stay Human.

28 Ways to be Kinder, Gentler & More Compassionate.

 

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About Kate Bartolotta

Kate Bartolotta is a wellness cheerleader, yogini storyteller, and self-care maven. She also writes for Huffington Post, Yoga International, Mantra Yoga+ Health, a beauty full mind, The Good Men Project, The Green Divas, The Body Project, Project Eve, Thought Catalog and Soulseeds. Kate's books are now available on Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble.com. She is passionate about helping people fall in love with their lives. You can connect with Kate on Facebook and Instagram.

Comments

87 Responses to “32 Truths Every Adult Should Know.”

  1. koice loman says:

    As a professor who has to give in class exam then go home and struggle to read what the students wrote I'm all for anything that will have them practice writing even if it is a "right of passage". The handwriting of stydents today look like they are writing with their feet and that's the good ones.

  2. rumi says:

    Aaron Karo didn’t write it, but rather it was a collection of ruminations from several contributors on his now defunct site, ruminations.com. I used to frequent the site and saw these posted at the time, but they’ve since then been circulated in emails as a list. Still funny, and clever, nonetheless, but that’s the true source.

  3. CAZZA says:

    Was totally enjoying it and nodding in agreement until I got to number 23….. 🙁 PLEASE….No texting in the car…in Australia it is illegal, but besides that..I have a loved one in full time care after glancing at an incoming text message and as a result, having a head on collision with a large SUV.

  4. Nicki says:

    All these comments that are negative just goes to show that some people can’t take a joke anymore! The Ghetto comment wasn’t racist, I have plenty of friends white and black that will tell you straight up they live in the ghetto and we laugh about it! The bicyclist comment was truth, they hate pedestrians and people in cars just as well! No one can drive these days nor walk for that matter because they have they’re heads in their phones. That brings me to the texting and driving…it said to finish a text, I will start a text at a stop sign, put my phone down and hope for a red light to finish it. Y’all read way too much into something that is supposed to be funny and bring a smile to your face! Get over it!

  5. Jeri says:

    Amazing that so many people were offended or taken aback by #30, but not #20

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  10. Geetha says:

    20 is pretty tasteless

  11. Amanda says:

    Funny stuff, except for #20. I don’t think remaining blissfully unaware of crappy places other people have to live should ever be an option.

  12. Dana says:

    Amen! #25 had me LOL.

  13. jeanybeany says:

    agreed. Number 20 is really offensive.

  14. Dar says:

    Further to number 1, the best friend is also responsible for hiding the single woman's "toy box." I would hate for my Mom to come across it. 😀

  15. TonyVito says:

    I don't understand why motorists get inpatient with pedestrians and bicyclists… Even driving 30-40-50 miles per hour, you're going to arrive at your destination in good time. Biking and walking, is such a slow comparison to a car. Motorists need to understand that the pedestrian and cyclists are the right of way in every situation. If you have to wait, suck it up and just WAIT. Would you rather have an injured pedestrian laying in the road, with your only explanation: Well I wanted to get to Carvel and get my ice cream… I'm sorry he has a broken hip and is now on his deathbed, but I was hungry?

  16. Mimi says:

    hahahha, omg, she's freakin funny! Laughed so hard at most of them!
    I broke down and had to donate $2 to get more like this- it was humor therapy! So worth it.
    Thanks Kate Barlolotta- thanks for the laughs! Do some more- you've a natural! :))
    BTW- I'm at a red light writing this! hahaah

  17. Nicola wilkins says:

    Seriously? I found this funny at first then the red light? It’s great for texting. And you hate cyclists? And you don’t want to ride through “ghettos”. Very disappointing.

    You must live in a void where poorer people with social problems don’t exist. Sid everyone else on the road as this text can’t wait and as for cyclists. Well, apart from cars being one of the biggest reasons for co2 pollution and global warming (apart from the US meat industry) you should maybe have a little more time for these issues.

  18. Jim says:

    WHAT????

  19. jim says:

    We all know that old people would really love to avoid the ghetto, but are afraid to say it.

  20. Mark says:

    Truths? . #20 shows that you are scared of people that aren’t like you (white) #1 I doubt if your friend died you would even think that? # 2 learn humility. I could go

    On but forgetaboutit,you won’t get it! One!

  21. saidahwilson says:

    This was definitely funny. But really, "avoid ghetto?" That's a little racist/classist, don't you think? You know people live there, right?

  22. Guest says:

    I was a bit disappointed that the #20 "avoid ghetto" note made it onto the list, and will admit I stopped reading after that. Why is it funny to laugh at avoiding people's poverty?

  23. Menocu says:

    I was hoping that is a bill hicks reference.

  24. Joyce says:

    Absolutely delightful! All of you neoliberal statists that are offended by this lady’s unabashed disdain for bicyclists, the hood, and snoops upon her demise may suffer from the unfortunate malady known as cranial rectal inversion. There is a cure for it, but it usually involves strippers and jello shots. Once you have recovered from your dire illness, perhaps then you will acquire an appreciation for the fine art of satire. Well done, Miss Kate. Well done!

  25. Elise says:

    Well said Joyce

  26. sse says:

    I definitely found #20 offensive and it ruined the list for me

  27. joylovesthelaw says:

    Number 20 was in poor taste.

  28. Jim E says:

    These were for the most part great! We had a fast debate on #30 beneath some other person's post of this on Facebook.. We think to replace "bicyclists" with "mopeds" would be the perfect improvement. Everybody hates mopeds. In regards to #20: In all honesty, we know there's poverty in America and it sucks. There are so many ways the richest country in the world could materially help them. But there ARE neighborhoods that we may drive through that given a CHOICE we wish we hadn't. I don't think one should read anymore into #20 than that.

  29. Instagvl says:

    Pretty harsh on cyclists! Otherwise, I have to agree most profoundly with just stopping after two "What?"s and nodding. Happens everyday.

  30. Ana says:

    I don’t know about the last one. This a.m. I smacked the mug full of water I had on the table next to my bed/alarm several times before I woke up enough to realize it wasn’t the snooze alarm.

  31. With the exception of the racial and economic privilege inherent in number 20, I loved this. That one nearly killed this for me.

  32. lukewarmdays says:

    You’re allowed to be offended that ghettos exist, but not that someone might not want to drive through them with her family. More importantly, you don’ t have to agree with 100% of something to find value in it. This has value. Even if you ride a bike.

  33. kupolaf says:

    This list is actually old and is missing some other lines from the original but still it's Pretty funny but #23 shouldn't be on there. Texting and driving is so dangerous and shouldn't be joked about. I agree with what's been said about #30.

  34. SRU grad says:

    Oh, come on. We know we can't throw a blanket statement over everyone (there are plenty of responsible cyclists out there), but too many cyclists are in places they don't belong. The speed limit is 40, 50. You know damn well you can't go anywhere near that. So why should I have to wait because you want to ride two-wide in the bike lane to talk to your buddy while you train for the Tour de France? Or, worse, you need to, for whatever reason, be riding down a road with no bike lane? No bike lane means they didn't plan the road for you.

  35. Debi says:

    Amen. Life is what we make it right.

  36. Darshan says:

    I was laughing out loudly there in me… While reading the trueness of these points….truly amazing….

  37. Loris says:

    No, you can not get an amen. Number 20 is ridiculous, even amidst the absurd snarkiness of this post. Are you talking about inner-city USA, or bigoted Italy circa 1500? Exactly. Irresponsible.