32 Truths Every Adult Should Know.


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Can I get an amen?

Okay, it’s silly, but put a number in the title and words like “should” and “must” and we just have to know what’s on the list. We steel ourselves to disagree with what was included or left out. We wonder what magical thing will we learn this time, when usually, magazine and internet lists are the same old thing over and over.

But this time? I’ll bet you laughed or nodded (except maybe to #30).

So let’s all agree:

There is no magical list of eight new ab moves coming out next month.

The top five amazing foods that fight aging are all fruits and vegetables so just eat more fruits and vegetables already.

The 10 things you can do that are going to make your life more wonderful?

The first one isn’t engaging in comment wars on the internet. It probably has more to do with letting go of anger. Or being grateful. Or being compassionate to yourself and others. Or realizing that all of this isn’t something to take seriously—so let’s laugh.

Let’s all laugh for a few minutes, forget all our grown-up worries and go out and look at the stars.

I guarantee you’ll feel better.


Bonus: Three things I wish I knew when I was 22:

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Kate Bartolotta

Kate Bartolotta is a wellness cheerleader, yogini storyteller, and self-care maven. She also writes for Huffington Post, Yoga International, Mantra Yoga+ Health, a beauty full mind, The Good Men Project, The Green Divas, The Body Project, Project Eve, Thought Catalog and Soulseeds. Kate's books are now available on Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble.com. She is passionate about helping people fall in love with their lives. You can connect with Kate on Facebook and Instagram.


87 Responses to “32 Truths Every Adult Should Know.”

  1. Jeri says:

    Amazing that so many people were offended or taken aback by #30, but not #20

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  6. Geetha says:

    20 is pretty tasteless

  7. Amanda says:

    Funny stuff, except for #20. I don’t think remaining blissfully unaware of crappy places other people have to live should ever be an option.

  8. Dana says:

    Amen! #25 had me LOL.

  9. Dar says:

    Further to number 1, the best friend is also responsible for hiding the single woman's "toy box." I would hate for my Mom to come across it. 😀

  10. Mimi says:

    hahahha, omg, she's freakin funny! Laughed so hard at most of them!
    I broke down and had to donate $2 to get more like this- it was humor therapy! So worth it.
    Thanks Kate Barlolotta- thanks for the laughs! Do some more- you've a natural! :))
    BTW- I'm at a red light writing this! hahaah

  11. Nicola wilkins says:

    Seriously? I found this funny at first then the red light? It’s great for texting. And you hate cyclists? And you don’t want to ride through “ghettos”. Very disappointing.

    You must live in a void where poorer people with social problems don’t exist. Sid everyone else on the road as this text can’t wait and as for cyclists. Well, apart from cars being one of the biggest reasons for co2 pollution and global warming (apart from the US meat industry) you should maybe have a little more time for these issues.

  12. Mark says:

    Truths? . #20 shows that you are scared of people that aren’t like you (white) #1 I doubt if your friend died you would even think that? # 2 learn humility. I could go

    On but forgetaboutit,you won’t get it! One!

  13. saidahwilson says:

    This was definitely funny. But really, "avoid ghetto?" That's a little racist/classist, don't you think? You know people live there, right?

  14. Guest says:

    I was a bit disappointed that the #20 "avoid ghetto" note made it onto the list, and will admit I stopped reading after that. Why is it funny to laugh at avoiding people's poverty?

  15. Joyce says:

    Absolutely delightful! All of you neoliberal statists that are offended by this lady’s unabashed disdain for bicyclists, the hood, and snoops upon her demise may suffer from the unfortunate malady known as cranial rectal inversion. There is a cure for it, but it usually involves strippers and jello shots. Once you have recovered from your dire illness, perhaps then you will acquire an appreciation for the fine art of satire. Well done, Miss Kate. Well done!

  16. joylovesthelaw says:

    Number 20 was in poor taste.

  17. Jim E says:

    These were for the most part great! We had a fast debate on #30 beneath some other person's post of this on Facebook.. We think to replace "bicyclists" with "mopeds" would be the perfect improvement. Everybody hates mopeds. In regards to #20: In all honesty, we know there's poverty in America and it sucks. There are so many ways the richest country in the world could materially help them. But there ARE neighborhoods that we may drive through that given a CHOICE we wish we hadn't. I don't think one should read anymore into #20 than that.

  18. Instagvl says:

    Pretty harsh on cyclists! Otherwise, I have to agree most profoundly with just stopping after two "What?"s and nodding. Happens everyday.

  19. Ana says:

    I don’t know about the last one. This a.m. I smacked the mug full of water I had on the table next to my bed/alarm several times before I woke up enough to realize it wasn’t the snooze alarm.

  20. With the exception of the racial and economic privilege inherent in number 20, I loved this. That one nearly killed this for me.

  21. lukewarmdays says:

    You’re allowed to be offended that ghettos exist, but not that someone might not want to drive through them with her family. More importantly, you don’ t have to agree with 100% of something to find value in it. This has value. Even if you ride a bike.

  22. kupolaf says:

    This list is actually old and is missing some other lines from the original but still it's Pretty funny but #23 shouldn't be on there. Texting and driving is so dangerous and shouldn't be joked about. I agree with what's been said about #30.

  23. Debi says:

    Amen. Life is what we make it right.

  24. Darshan says:

    I was laughing out loudly there in me… While reading the trueness of these points….truly amazing….

  25. Loris says:

    No, you can not get an amen. Number 20 is ridiculous, even amidst the absurd snarkiness of this post. Are you talking about inner-city USA, or bigoted Italy circa 1500? Exactly. Irresponsible.

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