The Secret Teaching of Parenting.

Via Jayson Gaddis
on Aug 9, 2012
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photo by j. gaddis

I’m getting my ass kicked by my kids in the most helpful of ways.

Parenting takes on a whole new meaning when we have the proper context. The question is, will we parents surrender?

I made this video after a hard night of sleep (and prior to that, weeks of sleep deprivation). Par for the course for us new parents.



Editor: Kate Bartolotta

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About Jayson Gaddis

Jayson Gaddis, host of The Smart Couple Podcast , relationship geek and host of the Smart Couple Podcast, is on a mission to teach people the one class they didn’t get in school--”How to do intimate relationships.” He was emotionally constipated for years before relationship failure forced him to master relationships. Now, he’s married to his amazing wife of 8 years and has two beautiful kids. When he doesn’t live and breathe this stuff with his family, he pretty much gets his ass handed to him. Jayson writes his own highly personal blog, and has also written for Integral Life, Digital Romance, The Jungle of Life, Primer Magazine, Recovering Yogi, The Good Men Project. You can find him here: Jayson Gaddis or sign up for a free training here if you are dealing with an emotionally unavailable man like Jayson used to be. You can also become a fan on Facebook here: Jayson Gaddis Fan Page.


6 Responses to “The Secret Teaching of Parenting.”

  1. thatmelchick says:

    So, my adopted sister whose father molested her and mother died of breast cancer… they were her soul path? She needed THAT family? Do you understand that what you're saying about "soul path" is a belief? Not a fact? Not much different from believing in Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny?

    I'm having legitimate difficulty as a new stepmother and when I saw the headline of this article I thought I would get sound advice… especially after reading your credentials at the bottom. What a disappointment.

  2. jaysongaddis says:


    yes, in my opinion. it's not a belif, it's my experience with myself and the folks I work with. doesn't have to be true for you.

    In the future, I won't respond to shaming/blaming comments where passive aggressive behavior is used.

  3. thatmelchick says:

    Hey Jason,

    Thanks for the response, but "truth" isn't relative and opinions are often exactly that: relative and subjective. Like you said, your experience. Not fact. Not truth. A belief. Just like my opinion (what you perhaps considered to be shaming and blaming) that the beginning of your video was disappointing. Some people likely found it inspiring.

    I don't think I've ever been called "passive". I was fairly direct with you.

    I will, however, credit you for the part of your advice that can (perhaps) be considered universally helpful: that we can learn from children. I disagree that you are not "whole" (what on earth does that mean???) but I would agree with you that you can grow by learning and watching children. Maybe I'm just pickier with language.

    Keep in mind that you can also be deceived and manipulated by them and get blinded by and lost in your love for them. Children are constantly looking for ways to be in charge. I've read the peer reviewed studies. Try to remember that we're animals and sometimes act that way. Your children are no exception.

    Let me guess… your children aren't teenagers.

    My advice (and I'm no expert)? Being sensitive is nice, but being on the ball is more important when you're trying to rear and prepare children for the realities of life. Just wait till they're teenagers and then see how you feel. 😉


  4. jaysongaddis says:


    Disagree. I think you are confusing "experience" with "opinion." Very different. My experience cannot be arugued, nor can yours. It's true always. It's doesn't mean I know "the truth." However, when I throw in my opinion, that is very arguable and far from truth.

    I hold the view that everything is sacred and trustworthy on my path, even when I kick and scream about what it's bringing up in me. This helps me engage fully in my life and use every crisis as an opportunity.

  5. […] whatever you do as a mother, the default program, like it or not, is to pass on who you are. No set of rules, which you agree […]

  6. […] watched my friends who had already had children continued to be inspired by their love and commitment. I finally let go of the fear that was holding […]