August 14, 2012

Will I resent my children, be bored with my job & hate going to work everyday? ~ Deborah Lange

Sitting in a coffee shop the other day with a friend I couldn’t help but be moved as she unfolded the transmutation of despair into a huge revelation.

I met her while volunteering in Africa and her time in Africa stirred up what she wanted from life.

She loved working with the local community who were so passionate about learning and creating a better life in their country while recovering from the aftermath of civil war.

When she went back home she began to question her life, her job and her relationship.

“What makes me feel alive?” she wondered.

She told me she felt alive when she was working for other people that have not been as privileged as her. Empowering others to create the lives they wanted made her feel energized and happy.

“And here I am in a stable job, with a nice guy,” she continued. “I could get married and have kids and work in my job for the next 30 years. I can take maternity leave and ride my bike to work and every thing is safe and comfortable.”

“But,” she started.

“Will I wake up in 20 years time and resent my husband because I didn’t do what brings me to life?”

She shared that she had begun to feel sad and depressed. She was dragging her feet to work. She discussed with her boyfriend whether or not he was the right person for her.

“Then one day I thought,” her face lighting up, “if I want to work with a company that is for social good I need to start looking and start applying. As soon as I started looking at jobs that interested me, my energy levels raised. Yes, there were jobs out there for me.”

She asked her boyfriend the same question, “What makes you feel alive?”

He was taken aback at first.

“What do you mean?” He responded thoughtfully. “Nobody has ever asked me that before.”

Talking about Possibilities

As my friend started to get some responses to her applications, her energy levels increased. She was so energized.

“Wow, there are organizations that want me! And then my boyfriend came back to me and said he had been feeling really dull for quite awhile. He had been doing his doctorate for about two years and was having a hard time getting it complete. He told me he started to think about what he loved and realized that as soon as he finished his doctorate he would have options to get work in that area. He started to focus his energy and has now written more papers in less time than he has done in the first two years!”

The other thing he said, “I thought about you needing to follow your dreams and work for a company with a social conscience and that might mean moving countries. I thought rather than being afraid I would lose you, I started to think about the opportunity that created for me.”

If she gets a job in another part of the world he can probably complete his doctorate there. Or, he can come in a year. Or, and she went on that they were both seeing more possibilities for an adventurous, fulfilling life than they had ever seen before. And they believed they can create it together.

What a revelation!

“I finally got that if I want something I just have to take responsibility for creating it and let those around me know what is important to me. I have to make a stand for myself,” my friend remarked proudly.

“I am going to work excited and our relationship has taken on a whole new level. And all it took was a change in thinking and taking action for myself. Life is good! I can have anything I dream of as long as I take responsibility for taking the action, open a new door and it will happen!”


The moral of the Story

My friend pushed away from the sadness and depression of being locked in the prison of her mind and chose to transform her situation. She connected with her deepest passions and made a stand for self love.

She invited her partner to think about what would be loving to him, what would affect him so that he would sing from the inside out.

They both took action.

In that action new feelings surfaced and a new way of being responsible for creating what brings your heart’s desire to life emerged.

New doors opened up for both of them.

I would love to hear your stories about your revelations. Please post them here so we can all be inspired!


Deborah Lange is a writer, personal and professional coach/facilitator/guide for accessing emotional and spiritual wisdom. Her life’s journey has taken many paths—each path deepening her wisdom and ability to guide others to find their own truth. Deborah believes in giving others the tools to access the courage and freedom to be present in their lives! From a teacher, to a high flying consultant, a housewife, a mother, a carer for her dying mother, a mosaic artist, a facilitator, a gardener, a researcher, an investor, a roadie for an Irish harpist and more. Deborah is no focusing on sowing the seeds she has gathered of truth and wisdom as she continues to grow into her new role as author.

[email protected]






Editor: ShaMecha Simms

Like elephant Enlightened Society on Facebook

Read 10 Comments and Reply

Read 10 comments and reply

Top Contributors Latest

Elephant journal  |  Contribution: 277,736