Five Signs of True Love.

Via on May 17, 2012
Photo: Chordboard

We all know the cliché of real love in our society.

Watch a movie, listen to a song, read a romance novel. They all give you the ooey gooey, rip your heart out, kind of love.

Those illusions are more speed bumps on the way to the real deal.

Sign number one: True love has no time limit.

Whether you meet and its kismet or a long, torturous on again/off again courtship, when the seeds of true love have been planted it can take its own sweet time to sprout.

Let me clarify:

Kismet aka destiny aka whatever you want to call it.

May not necessarily be instant chemical attraction, though it could rock your world.

It is rather a “knowing” feeling.

And even though you “know” and the other person knows, it doesn’t mean both parties are ready for “true love.”

And that brings me to the long, torturous, on again/off again courtship.

If it weren’t so prevalent, I wouldn’t mention it here.

Some who have met the love of their life can’t seem to get out of their own way and have checked into the lovesick wing of a virtual hospital.

Photo: Tomasz Sienicki

It’s time to heal and get out of this place.

Where old wounds keep festering; hearts broken into shards can’t pick up their pieces and everyone needs more nursing. It’s a place to be stuck in the past and congregate with others to tell their tales of woe.

True love leaves this person torn.

They cannot be fully open, present and vulnerable in a true love relationship, and they can’t let go either.

No one can let go. Or walk away for good.

We c’mon back like a rubberband on steroids.

One or both of us have an allergic reaction, so we must stay away from what feels good, happy and kind, because some day too this love will eat you alive.

And the two people on this path are in a cosmic collision.

Feels like karma, feels like there’s no choice, feels like you must be nuts.

Yup…it’s a lesson alright!

You see, I have found through my own experience and watching others in this dilemma, sometimes it’s about patience (not to be confused with waiting).

You receive a gift with the challenge of something so good, being so painful, because one person (or both) has their eyes turned to the past.

Patience whittles away inauthenticity and gives the gift of self-love, confidence and knowing oneself.

You embrace the awareness of sign number two: Your ego does not win.

When you meet someone with a soul, heart, intellectual, friendship, love connection, your ego may pull all its usual bullsh*t. In fact, count on it!

Until your ego is reminded over and over again that our purpose of being here is to love. And the beautiful messed up soul in front of you needs your love as much as your messed up self needs your love.

True love works its magic on your stance. It softens you allowing the flow of those feelings. You realize, yes this is pure, true love.

No matter if it is kismet or a long struggle, the ego does not get top billing in a relationship based in true love. And it does not guarantee the outcome.

Sign number three: You have a sense of humor, lightness, connection and goodness even when the shit hits the fan.

Photo: Galiel

It’s called true love, unconditional and even if you do decide to part ways, love is always there.

Sign number four: You can’t escape the synchronicity.

It is almost ridiculous!

Whether it’s the weird things you have in common or how you share the same breath or that your brothers are both named Bob or your similar perception of life.

How about finding out you crossed paths more than once years ago without knowing it?

Or on the flip side…

Everywhere you go their name like a neon sign or some impossible to ignore song or commercial has you tripping over yourself, scratching your head wondering, why can’t I escape this crazy fun house!

Don’t run or hide.

Give in, it’s easier.

Take it as a confirmation, that you’re in a good place.

Whether you are both feet looking into each other’s eyes or running in opposite directions, just know with synchronicity—it ain’t over ’til it’s over.

Lessons in life come from our own evolution.

You want to evolve?

Relationships are the perfect place for spiritual growth.

And when we try to bypass or cut short the lesson, surprise! We get to repeat it!

Who doesn’t love the torture of repeating patterns, trying to make sense of our choices, feelings about ourselves and what attracts us to these challenges?

True love is the glue to your heart binding you to your own potential soul growth. Awareness is the illuminator.

Whether you marry, live together or run off and join the circus, true love stays with you, because it just “is.”

Leading us to the last one, sign number five: You feel lucky.

You have been fortunate enough to meet someone to experience true love and connection. Whether it is for a day, year or the rest of your life, you feel as though this is what love stories should really be written about and that who you open and become through true love is the most authentic version of yourself.

What’s not to love?


One of our favorite couples shows us what true love means:


Relephant bonus:

You still have space for independence in your lives.


A Letter From The Love You Haven’t Met Yet. 


Like elephant love on Facebook.


Editor: Kate Bartolotta

About Tracy Crossley

Tracy Crossley is a hyphenate: female, writer, curiosity quencher, artist, poet, gardener of real gardens and existential ones, clairvoyant, and momma to grown ups. She is an executive mentor as her main gig. She is currently speaking, writing and mentoring people on empowerment in leadership and relationships. If you want to learn more about her, please check out website, facebook page, blog and on twitter, she always follows back. If you really want to get some quality time with her, email her at Tracy AT tracycrossley dot com or her free weekly 10 minute audios.


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24 Responses to “Five Signs of True Love.”

  1. Eric says:

    Na-MESS-sté: 'the mess in me bows to and honors the mess in you" :)

  2. […] what is love, then? It is self-acceptance that allows us to unconditionally accept someone […]

  3. […] hole my mother left by her dramatic leaving was a bottomless need inside my fractured psyche for a Big Love. I wanted something or someone to sweep me off my feet and into a place of vulnerability and mutual […]

  4. […] what is love? Is there such a thing? And what I mean is that true love, which is forever after, yet always exciting, stimulating and wrought in passion. That is what I […]

  5. devamarga says:

    thank you for articulating my story, I feel comforted. I feel sad still, as I look at my attachment and proud that I am courageous .

  6. I LOVE this. It echoes my own looooooong draw out on again / on again relationship of 16 yrs with the father of my son. We have SO MUCH love for each other and sometimes think we need to let go, but cannot leave each other alone for more than 24 hrs. Too many articles these days say “if it doesn’t serve you, let it go”. But what isn’t serving you about coming face to face with the power struggle of the ego time and time again? We MUST see our shadow if we want to move through to the other side. I say OWN your feelings and be patient for true love will wait. xxx

    • Tracy says:

      I totally agree about owning our feelings, no one else can tell us what it is or why feel how we do. And I have yet to meet someone who can actually let go "emotionally" when they are told to do so. Thank you Holly! :)

  7. Barry says:

    Right on – for what I thought was late in life, I learned of this type of love, it resonates for me as a love of no expectation – even the expectation that you will be with that person – to have a strong love regardless and with no jealousy – this was powerful stuff – freeing, & beautiful when allowed to rest there instead of some zone of melancholy or pining – true love is so wowza :)

    • Tracy says:

      Hi Barry~ True love is so different from fairy tale love or jumping off a bridge love. True love is kinder, gentler and already a part of each of us once we remove our ego from the equation. :) Thank you for your comment. :)

  8. nylassej says:

    Thank you for writing this! I am currently experiencing the feelings of luck, the KNOWING in the face of UNKNOWING, the humility and need for patience….as much as the distance and bad timing hurt like hell it's still so beautiful, and the hard parts pass as funny once they are over! <3

  9. Hogan says:

    Unconditional love is loving someone in spite of themselves. It is love without boundaries or expectations. It is forever love. I love you forever, no matter what happens, is a good motto. This is true love.

  10. Robin says:

    I have one happening right now – we are up to #44 in the synchronicity dept.
    Thanks for reassuring me as this is a internet connection. Meeting the heart and soul before the physical. That's happening in 16 days :D

  11. Seducelove says:

    Exactly if a bonding between two people is demomstrated by these factors in this post, will surely signify true love. Strong commitment can only be the best route to a successful relationship and prefer the idea of giving to others rather than only wanting from others.

  12. emma says:

    How hard I've tried to push this from myself to stay "safe". Thank you for this, really.

    • Eva says:

      I've gone through the same path before I realised that the nature of true love is beyond any attempts of control.

  13. Victoria says:

    Wonderful read! I took notes.

  14. this is it. only experienced this once- and we are still in it together. painful and wild and beautiful and no getting around it.

  15. Jenny says:

    Thanks for posting this. Really helpful today. I know I have lots of ego problems, but this is the first time I have ever experienced deep, connected love. It’s both a blessing and a curse because we also have a large age gap between us. It’s the daily fight of “Should I stay or should I go?”

  16. Eva says:

    All of this so resonates with me and my life. To add up the challenge: I have two true loves in my life since some 20 years. This used to make me crazy in so many ways – it's only with time and meditation that I start to accept this challenge 'as is' and not something I have to fight against or try to control all the time.

  17. mitzie says:

    All of this is true… patience, being still and praying.

  18. Cristina Dg says:

    11yrs ago I met someone and we we're off/on again and until this day we still both want each other but I turned away. I keep breaking my heart and I want more of him not pieces of him. But he doesn't seem to understand and just a day before valentines day this yr he told me on the phone that his in love with me,of course I laugh it off. I didn't believe him. From then on he keeps calling and texting and I keep saying no. I told him until you know how to love me,stay away and promise to never call me again. If this was true love why does it hurt, why does it play a game,I actually think we're both fucked up in the head. He won't commit,he won't give himself 100%,I'm willing too. I'm 43,his 52. Need I say more. His always in my mind and in my heart. I've always said he is the love of my life,he always has a place in my heart but that's how it ends.

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