3 Crazy Hot Tips for Amazing Sex, Fast Yoga Weight Loss & a must see Video? F*ck You.

Via Chris Grosso
on Oct 17, 2012
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Photo: Grosso

Great writers are indecent people, they live unfairly saving the best part for paper. Good human beings save the world so that bastards like me can keep creating art.” ~ Charles Bukowski

I woke up at 4 a.m. this morning thinking about how so many of the “Top 5 Ways To” or “Crazy Hot Sexy” or “Must See Video” article views climb rapidly into the thousands here on elephant journal while many articles with real substance fall by the wayside. After about 10 minutes of that eating at me, I turned on the computer and here I am, at 4:10 a.m., hashing it out. I only mention the time of day, as it’s hard for me to imagine someone waking up passionate enough about sex and weight loss to sacrifice sleep in an effort to write about it, though in some cases, it probably happens.

I’m not saying I’m personally some slave, or martyr, to the written word. I do believe when writers are passionate about their work, it usually reflects in the writing, which then typically translates into having a deeper effect on the reader than that of a quickly thrown together post, which its main intention is that of getting views.

I’m writing this article on behalf of myself, and the many other great writers who contribute gut wrenching, brutally honest articles from the deepest source of our being. The writers and articles which are typically overlooked due to the lack of sexy, yoga, weight loss content. We are here, and while we typically don’t take the simpler way out in our articles, reducing them to quick lists or videos with a couple of sentences, I believe if you take a few minutes to get to know us, chances are, you won’t be disappointed.

This may sound like a disgruntled writer’s piece to many of you, but rest assured, it truly is not.

In the most humble way possible, I’m lucky to have a wonderful literary agent who’s currently negotiating my proposal with a major publishing house for a forthcoming book. I’m grateful that there’s not a lot riding on many views what I write here gets. And most likely, those writers that do come here and bare their souls, or at least offer articles with deep substance that affords the reader a real opportunity to think outside of sex and materialism topics, probably aren’t heartbroken about the lack of readership their work gets, though of course it can be disheartening.

Photo: Brian Bisaillon

Regardless of what I say however, many of you will write me, and this article, off as some jaded writer bitching about lack of interest in his work, which is totally cool with me. If you could at least do one simple thing for me,  it would be greatly appreciated.

Take 10 seconds to think about the last two or three articles you read on elephant journal, or anywhere for that matter, and be brutally honest regarding the intention behind why you did. Was it purely for tips on improving material conditions, and if so, why?

Do you ever gift yourself the opportunity to read topics on improving inner conditions and deepening the connection to the real inner you too? If not, why not? Why not try to incorporate at least one article of deeper substance into all of the crazy, hot, orgasmy stuff, which dominates readership?

I guess this is particularly easy for me to write about because I never really gave a fuck about being a cool kid, fitting in or being overly concerned with material shit, but even for those that are, or even slightly are, isn’t there a little room for expansion and growth?

It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” ~ Krishnamurti

I truly don’t mean to come off as brash or offensive to anyone here, it’s sincerely not my intention whatsoever. I can get lost in my passion sometimes I suppose. If anything, I’m really hoping to help persuade even just one person reading this to broadening the horizon of material they ingest into their daily reading.

Why do I care? I suppose it’s the cockeyed optimist in me who still believes if one of us heals on a deeper level, we all do. And while crazy hot sex is great, and I guess can be healing, or at least stress relieving, it’s usually not the ticket that will take us to serious, deeper places of well being in our lives (unless you’re some awesome tantra practitioner, in which case, carry on!)

So in an effort to step outside of my own comfort writing box, I’ll give you three non-crazy, not out of this world tips on sex, weight loss and even provide you with a must see video.

1. Make love/have sex with someone you care about. Filling a gap through sexual acting out is only a temporary solution that will ultimately only bring you greater pain in the long run.

2. Eat healthier. I have a sweet tooth myself so I’m not going to talk shit on any particular diets or food, but moderation my friends. It’s always key.

3. Exercise. Find something you enjoy doing, whether it’s running, hiking, walking, bicycling, skateboarding, whatever. Do something to physically exert yourself a little bit and make your heart happy.

I promise, if you follow these three totally un-crazy, but very sensible tips, you’ll quickly be on your way to an integrally overall sense of well being. And now, a must see video!



Editor: Kate Bartolotta

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About Chris Grosso

Chris Grosso is a public speaker, writer, recovering addict and spiritual director. He has spoken and performed at Wanderlust Festival, Yoga Journal Conference, Sedona World Wisdom Days, Kripalu, and more. Chris created the popular hub for all things alternative, independent, and spiritual with TheIndieSpiritualist.com and continues the exploration with his books Everything Mind (Sounds True Publishing) and Indie Spiritualist (Atria Books/Simon & Schuster). Follow Chris on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube.


56 Responses to “3 Crazy Hot Tips for Amazing Sex, Fast Yoga Weight Loss & a must see Video? F*ck You.”

  1. Ben_Ralston says:

    For the title alone, thank you 🙂

  2. Chris Grosso says:

    And for your comment, I thank you.

  3. Well, you know my thoughts on the subject. Thanks!

  4. Chris Grosso says:

    Oh, indeed I do. 😉

  5. Penny says:

    Keep writing, you're good! I like your perspective and your propensity for cutting through the bullshit.

  6. Jenn Lui says:

    just awesome to see this commentary here – truth. thanks so much for sharing Chris!

  7. Chris Grosso says:

    Thanks Penny. I appreciate your feedback.

  8. Chris Grosso says:

    Thanks much Jenn!

  9. Lori Ann Lothian says:

    HI Chris, I just posted your opinion piece to ele love fb. You say "Do you ever gift yourself the opportunity to read topics on improving inner conditions and deepening the connection to the real inner you too? If not, why not? Why not try to incorporate at least one article of deeper substance into all of the crazy, hot, orgasmy stuff, which dominates readership?"

    Yet I wonder. Is there room for all of it? For orgasmy, sexy, relational, emotional LOVE and RELATIONSHIP material, and as well, the psycho-spiritual? Is it your thought that the sex, yoga, health take away views from the, say, Buddhist philosopy piece? Is that true? Who would you be without that story? (etc).

    All that said, most of our best writers on orgasmy pieces, like Candice Holdorf, Dawn Cartwright, Rebecca Lammeren, Anne Clendenning and so on, are presenting strong narrative with solid levels of self awareness, higher consciousnes and universal appeal.

    I think biggest question I have, as a writer, is when my piece is not a hit, how could I have written my message in a way that would make it more compelling and more available.

    Lately, I'm all about breaking the menopause Taboo, on frontines of sex, libido, love, and health in that area — and it's not a real "clickable" because most people look at menopause as an illness to fix, or a condition to hide. The culture does not celebrate a woman's rite of passage…we women don't know how to honor this time ourselves. So.

    Just sayin…as i begin to write in an area that may not be popular, I will take it on myself to make my writing better, my narrative drive stronger. In the end, a really good story always sells…no matter the topic.


    Lori Ann
    ele love editor

  10. Chris Grosso says:

    Hey Lori Ann,
    I believe there's room for all of it and my intention was to address the reader more than the writer, though thy are often one and the same. It seems like so many people just opt for the quick reads that often lack substance. Absolutely, there is stellar content regarding the topics I mentioned in this article, there also however, is not.

    This article really stemmed from much of the feedback I've received personally from EJ readers that connect with me through my work and other folks related in different ways to EJ. So again, this definitely wasn't meant as a blanket statement toward any specific topic or writer. And like I said, it doesn't bother me personally if my article gets 100 or 1,000 hits… it just a little troublesome when much of the content posted that in my opinion (and it's just that, my opinion) is pretty lacking and sometimes obviously just looking for views to promote their name. And I mean hey, I'm sure more people who read my stuff feel it's lack than don't and that's cool. Too each their own. This is just my take on it. Not trying to preach it as definitive truth or anything.

    Thanks for your comment and the conversation. I appreciate it much 🙂

  11. Thank you for this poignant, well-written, thoughtful and honest piece of writing. I am inspired.

  12. Chris Grosso says:

    Thanks very much for taking the time to read it Willow. I appreciate it.

  13. Lori Ann Lothian says:

    Yes, I hear you. Sexy and shallow often sells, thus the Cosmo and GQ level of writer/reader. That's what is exciting at "mindful" EJ, because those same topics (sex, love, orgasm etc) get a chance to be discussed at a more thoughtful level of discourse. The piece i edited last week on Debunking the New Age Myth of Completeness (and that I solicted for EJ as one of the judge's in the writing contest for which it won) is an example of really good writing, thought and it's even really long, on the idea of whether we need a "beloved" to be whole. This piece really made me think. Have you read it? It's heartening to me to see it in the 2K views range now, because I thought maybe it's too long, to dense, to philosophical to do well…well, our readers are smart and have an attention span. So it did do well (even without sex in the title). So I say, again, content will will the readers — along yes, with a catchy feature image AND a good title. We have whole editorial meetings where how to craft a good title and find a eye catching graphic, is the focus. Waylon is a master of this. The header and picture get the reader in the door. The rest is up to compelling writing.


  14. Jen says:

    Honestly, I think the articles about cracking open, brutal truth, being with both light and shadow, are the sexiest of them all.

  15. chad henry says:

    Great Charlie Chaplin clip–never saw or read that speech in my life. Just adding something from the Gurdjieff teachings–according to him, we have WAY more than just one true inner self–most of us have several! Of coruse few of us have even been in contact with ONE of them . . .


  16. Chris Grosso says:

    Agreed Jen. Agreed.

  17. Chris Grosso says:

    Love Gurdjieff. Very good stuff. Thanks for the comment.

  18. Right on, right on, right on.

  19. Chris Grosso says:

    Thanks Annie. 🙂

  20. Chris Grosso says:

    I did not see that piece Lori but that is heartening news for sure. I'll look for it now and that's great it received the amount of views that it did, for sure! But I still don't entirely agree on the content always winning the readers. I've read tons of great articles on the site that are lucky is they break 300-500 views… but it is what it is, you know. That also doesn't mean that all articles the are on said topics or that get a ton of views are bad either! Just seems like they're always, always heavily favored by the readers, regardless of a touch of mindfulness incorporated into them or not.

    Again, love the discussion 🙂

  21. callie says:

    I agree with your thoughts. I am the kind considered as "deep" and that isn't it, I feel like I do look inward and press my own boundaries, in search of what is true of myself,… and I guess i expect that from others. (and others aren't always on that page)………I'm just wondering what your thoughts are on this idea… maybe people read more "crap" because they just can't deal with any more reality in their possibly overly stressed lives? They may overlook insightful content, because then, they might feel held to doing something about it. We live in this society that over-indulges, and then when feeling guilty and in need of clarity and insight, people are told to be kind to themselves and in a way, led to overlook the very things that made them feel guilty in the first place. to "let it go" and move on. I am all for those ideas, but I think the first step would really have to be: "own your mistakes" and "really pick apart your decision making process and see where you are part of something that seems to continue to be an issue for you". …. okay enough of my rant…… thanks for listening!!!!! =)

  22. How about the rest of us, Kate? Please share!


  23. Oh, I thought my "thanks" indicated that I agree! There's room for all of it, but I think many people miss out (here and in life in general) if all they dine on, so to speak, is the fluff.

  24. joydances says:

    FinaLLY. NAMASTE'!~ <3

  25. Chris Grosso says:

    Bows. Thanks for your comment.

  26. Chris Grosso says:

    Callie- I think you hit the nail on the head when you said, "They may overlook insightful content, because then, they might feel held to doing something about it." And your statement about an over-indulgent society that in turn feels guilty is right on too. I know from personal experience. On a smaller level, sweets for example, like I mentioned it the article, are something I enjoy. Sometimes too much and then am left feeling like shit afterwards. I'm also a recovering addict so that says something right there about overindulgence. I do think the lighter articles, tv shows etc, it all has it's place, but not if that's all that's being consumed, then there's a problem.

  27. GreatNorthSky says:

    ENCORE :: Chris Grosso :: ENCORE :: I For ONE Came Here For The Real Writing and Seek Them Out Emphatically :: Connecting With The Real Soul Connections :: What I Call Vertical Downloads vs Ummmm, The More Materialistic Stuff :: The Materialistic, Self Gratifying Stuff Gives Me Insights To Where People Are Operating :: The Lack Of Awareness Of The Within :: Admittedly, I Scan and Read The Other Stuff Too :: However, Filtering Through It Quickly, Primarily Seeking Out The True Practitioners Of Their Practices :: YOGA and The Like :: In My Experience, In A Compassionate HEART, There Is Room For All :: For The Polarized Opposites Are Necessary For This Earth Plane Existence

    I LOVE Your HEART and Your Passionate Awareness.

    Be Well and Thank You Sooooooooo Much For Your Creativity, Ummmm Your Sense Of Humor and Your Level Of Commitment !!!!!! नमस्ते

  28. JohnN says:

    Love it: the tips, the video, and the much-needed rant!

  29. Chris Grosso says:

    Thanks very much for your most humbling compliments. I also resonate with your approach towards well, life in general. Very nice to connect with you here. Bows.

  30. Chris Grosso says:

    Thanks John. I really appreciate you checking it out and taking the time to leave a compliment.

  31. eleanor says:

    Well said, sir. Well said indeed. I look foreword to this book you casualy mentioned. (And hopefully one from Kate B as well.)

    keep up the great writing. ~cheers!

  32. Chris Grosso says:

    Thanks much Eleanor! And yes, a book from Kate B. please!

  33. Katie says:

    Seriously, you are my favorite person this week. This past year I spent money for someone to tell me to "reverse engineer blog post titles and include salacious stuff so people click on your posts" or something like that. Fuck it. I write what I write and no surprise my readership is UP when I don't follow the "rules" but instead show up, be real, and practice authenticity. I crave the deep emotional connection with others, not fluff. And a lot of people do. And that my friend is why you are my favorite person this week.

  34. Heather says:

    Beautiful. And right on!

    Thank you for sharing.

    So often I have read pieces here on elephant and wondered why so many comments and on other articles I wondered the opposite. People wrote about death, personal concerns, etc….but the articles on sex and hating others (aka yoga performance or lack thereof) seemed to attract a wider audience.

    I often felt sad when I saw one article written about the death of an author's father had NO COMMENTS. I decided to make a comment (not because I felt sorry for the person) but as a forum I think EVERY story at least deserves 1 comment. But interestingly enough, another piece in which it was completely narcissistic there were hundreds comments.

    You remind me of Yogananda Paramahansa who said READ LITTLE and MEDITATE MORE. For fun, I once searched on elephant for the key word of Patajalim (now he is an important forefather Yoga). The search produced 3 articles (and 2 of them were mine)!

    Some of the greatest advice on writing came from a woman named BRENDA UELAND. She did not advice people to write to be popular…but that's writing with an agenda. She advised people to write because whether you make NOTHING or SOMETHING (re: $$$ ) it will still have been good for our soul.

    One of the fab things of facebook is the way people get to stop and think and write a comment. It is very different than talking off the cuff…and the good part..you can delete if you don't like it! :-0))

  35. Chris Grosso says:

    Aw, that is so awesome Katie! Honored to be your favorite person this week, for sure. And yes, it's unfortunate that in order to "lure" most readers in, one must do some wordplay in titles etc. To a certain extent, sure, I get it… capture their interest, but when it's quick fixes, short lists etc, eh, it's just not my thing, but hey, whatever floats peoples boats, ya know? There's a time and place for all of it. Thanks again!!!

  36. Chris Grosso says:

    Thanks so much Heather. The comparison to Yogananda's advice is humbling and honoring. I'm so glad this resonated with you, and others. Views are nice but they will never persuade the way I write or what I'm writing about… Fuck popularity or jumping on the current hot trend, tell me about death and love, real love, not airy fairy shit… Give me the brutal truth, something, anything real, I don't entirely care what the topic is as long as it's real, and from the gut. That doesn't mean it has to be dark and painful, but it also usually won't be found in pieces addressing new yoga wear that makes your butt look good. Again, too each their own but I just hope folks who typically only read those articles may have stumbled upon this on and possibly thought twice about incorporating some new stuff in their literary travels. Thanks for your comment!

  37. Dylan says:

    Hey bro, very good.

    I hope that the editors at EJ notice that the three recent articles, this one and the two 7 ways to or not to fuck blah blah,
    and notice the number of comments they have on them, and how it actually got people to talk….
    EJ is getting a bit much…it is turning into that kind of time wasted on facebook perusing your wall….

  38. Chris Grosso says:

    Thanks Dylan. I think the editors at EJ are noticing… and hopefully will take that into consideration. I have on good authority that the submission process is soon to become a bit tougher. I appreciate your comment man. Bows.

  39. sluczaj says:

    Well said, Chris! Especially like the un-crazy tips.

  40. Chris Grosso says:

    Thanks so much! Glad you appreciated it and thank for the comment! Bows.

  41. outlayers says:

    Hello Chris, Thank you for this article. I did click on it exactly for the reason you have mentioned, superficial once. And i didn't even notice the "F*ck you part" at the end. First of all, the video is absolutely incredible, where is it from? I would like to watch the full film. Secondly, the last 3 articles i read here were about relationships, particularly "betrayal". I am sharing this because i want to and because i followed your guidelines for self evaluation:)
    I love that you are so passionate about writing that 4:10am does not stop you! Thank you again, the writing, the video, the quotes are straight to the point. (I am a big fan of Bukowski myself). I wish you an easy journey in the publishing of your book and please write more.

  42. Chris Grosso says:

    Thanks so much for your comment and complete honesty. How respectable! As for the video, I honestly don't know which film it's from. A friend had just recently emailed me the clip and it worked out perfect with the timing of this article. And yes, Bukowski is wonderful- brutal & honest! Thanks for your kind words regarding my writing and book. It's greatly appreciated.

  43. Ben_Ralston says:

    Fluff? Here, on EJ? Strike me down with a feather…

  44. Love you Ben. Ben Ralston = 100% bs free!

  45. Ben_Ralston says:

    Well it takes one to know one doesn't it 🙂
    Love you too.

  46. […] noticed a trend on elephant journal these past few months of authors and readers decrying the popularity of more “salacious” and “fluffy” content and ruing the fact that “deeper” and “more meaningful” pieces often […]

  47. […] a perceived threat. When we are attracted to someone, our body is signaling comfort, curiosity or desire. If we don’t recognize the ground level of sensation, we will continually be lost in the swirl of […]

  48. ggarciaordonez says:

    I see your point, Chris. I would not clic on your article if it wasn't because of the 'Fuck you" part at the end of the title (I typed all the letters: I am Spanish and we swear quite a lot down here, no probs). That was the hook, I knew I would be reading something different. And I was even more sure about it afterse seeing your pic 😀 😀 Brill!

    I guess we are all different and we all look for something different. I cannot see right or wrong behind that. I just feel we all are lucky to have the freedom to express ourselves and the access to any type of information. Personally I get carried away by a suggestive & creative title but I understand and respect people who are looking for quick fix and lists of tips. They have their reasons too.

    Main thing anyway is that those who write keep doing it. We all, writers and readers, will find our own place in this world.


  49. Chris Grosso says:

    Thanks so much for your comment and I'm truly glad you were able to resonate with the article. Too each their own is certainly an important saying in my life so yes, at the end of the day, if quick fix tips etc work for people, God Bless, go forth and be healed! I just think in the bigger picture, those things typically don't create true lasting change so it's worth it to do a little more work now for longer lasting results later… but that's just one mans opinion. Bows.

  50. Joe Sparks says:

    "Why do I care? I suppose it’s the cockeyed optimist in me who still believes if one of us heals on a deeper level, we all do".
    Hi Chris, thanks for the article. You do care deeply, I appreciate you trying to figure it out. But, we as a species have gone as far as we can alone to heal. We need to connect with each other more now than ever to heal. Just about everyone is afraid to go deep, because of our early hurts, from the people who loved us the most. How often did you get this growing up, "What are you smiling about." Our world was dominated by adults, who were mostly feeling bad about themselves. They slopped it on us. Now, we need to go back and fight for ourselves, for the little one that got defeated.