Checklist for a Healthy Relationship.

Via Rebekah Freedom
on Dec 26, 2012
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The Happy Couple

Checklist for a Healthy Relationship.

Relephant: 5 Traits of a Good Relationship.

Start strong. Ask yourself simple questions and build from there. This is not an exercise in perfection. It is a tool to assess where you have been, where you are now, and where you want to be. Take your time with the questions. Use your original impulse to answer them. Be truthful. And above all else, have fun.

  1. What structures are currently in place that supports you and your partner’s well-being? Do you exercise together, eat right, drink in moderation, socialize, participate in a spiritual practice, and/or have good communication?
  2. What have you been holding back from expressing? Can you trust your partner enough to be responsible for his/her emotions? Say what you need to say and allow for your spouse to regulate him/herself as needed.
  3. How do you earn the money needed to support the life you are living and creating? What funds are in place to support seasons of famine? How do you divide your resources?
  4.  What values matter most to you? Does your partner share these values?
  5.  Do you want to have children? Or if you have children, what parenting contract have you created?
  6. How do you know you are loved? How do you show your partner love? Express it in words and gestures, for neither is as potent in its singularity as they are combined.
  7. How willing are you to express your sexual needs? What agreements have you created between the two of you to get your needs met? For a relationship to be alive, agreements must be revisited often and amended as needed. The primary supporting structure of any agreement is reciprocity.
  8. When conflict arises how do you interface with it? Do you avoid or dive right in? Further, how do you and your partner arrive at resolution? If your objective is to win an argument instead of create deeper connection, chances are you will lose out in both the short term and the long run.
  9. What brings you joy? Can you openly share your hobbies and interests with your partner? Keep your life and your relationship fresh by continually learning something new.
  10. Do you like who you are when you are with your partner? What characteristics, both good and bad, does your relationship highlight? Self-awareness is the seed of growth that germinates through being attended to and cared for. The same is true for a healthy relationship.

As you enter into and foster your romantic relationship, know that falling in love with your sacred and beautiful spirit will allow for a rich and meaningful relationship with your partner. May this check list give rise to authentic expression and desires that act as guide posts in the journey that is your best life.

May peace and love guide you on your way.

Author’s Note: For further inquiry about these questions please email me. I would be happy to clarify.



The One Thing We Need to Have a Healthy Relationship.

All Healthy Relationships Have Hiccups.


Ed: Brianna B.

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About Rebekah Freedom

Rebekah Freedom McClaskey is a Breakup Specialist and psychic. She offers one-on-one counseling in person and over the phone as well as hosts Breakup Rehab Support Group. She has a master's degree in transpersonal counseling psychology from Naropa University. Rebekah is passionate about using her extensive knowledge of love and relationships to set people free. Listen to her podcast. To work with Rebekah visit her website and catch up with her on Facebook.


19 Responses to “Checklist for a Healthy Relationship.”

  1. Josephine says:

    Very useful! Thank u Rebekah! … And I luv the unique way u spell ur name 🙂

  2. If you switch the word spouse for partner, I bet more of us could relate. Thanks.

  3. Guest says:

    More people have partners than spouses don't they?

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  10. karmawaves says:

    Love it!

  11. Guest says:

    Nice article. However, the part about a parenting contract leads me to believe the author doesn't have children.

  12. Jessica says:

    The part about a sexual agreement and/or stipulations lead me to believe such a relationship would not be based on love. My husband and I don't have a parenting contract for our daughter and we certainly don't have a sexual contract. We have an open line of communication to one another, so perhaps we thus far have found "contracts" unnecessary.

  13. whatever1959 says:

    I can see where a parenting contract would be helpful in negotiating differences in parenting prior to having children. Many people have children thinking those differences will just magically work themselves once the children are present and it doesn't work that way. The children get caught in the middle and it is very hard on them.

  14. whatever1959 says:

    The sexual needs contract isn't just about sex…it's about intimacy needs, emotional and psychological needs as well. If these needs are not met in the relationship, it spells trouble. Expecting yourself or your partner to live for years without those needs getting met is not reasonable or healthy. The contract is to promote conversation. I see people in my practice most everyday that planned a huge wedding and reception but had no plan for how to make their marriage meet their needs…they have no idea what their own needs for intimacy are so there is no way they can communicate them. I had one client that found out after she got married that her husband had no need for foreplay and he had no concern for her need for it. Would have been nice if they'd had that discussion before they announced their engagement…because if they had, there would have been no engagement.

  15. Tara says:

    i bet not…

  16. Jeff says:

    Without trust, no relationship can succeed!

  17. myriamsofialluria says:

    As a divorced woman, with 4 children, I have to agree that you must at least know your partner inside out and whether it be contractual or just an understood and unspoken agreement, there has to be congruity on so many points, especially those covered in this article, for a relationship to truly flourish and stand the test of time.